Filed under: Gut Reactions, Movie News
Lisa Niemi, Patrick Swayze's wife of 34 years, told a women's conference Tuesday that the loss of her husband just six weeks ago "is like an animal all of its own" and the sadness could be felt "on a cellular level." PEOPLE reports that Niemi spoke in a roundtable on Grief, Healing and Resilience at the Women's Conference 2009 in Long Beach, California. Niemi told the attendees, "When the grief takes you, it's like your body is not your own. I'm just going with the flow. I know I have to go through it."
Niemi, speaking for the first time since Swayze's death in September, said that she never left her husband's side during the last months of his life. She admitted, "I've spent two thirds of my life with him. ... My regret is that I didn't tell him that I loved him enough over that entire 34 years."
"I am so grateful for what I had and my connection to him, and part of me believes that I will see him again," added Niemi, "and I'm just going to have to go on until then."
Swayze's widow explained that her friends are instrumental in keeping her afloat. "I have a few girlfriends that are just amazing. They have made themselves available to me 24/7. They say, 'We don't care if it's 2 in the morning, call me'," she said. "I was in the middle of a full-blown panic attack one evening ... and I picked up the phone and called one, which is really hard for me to do because I'm used to being so self-sufficient and taking care of myself, but the very act of picking the phone up to call someone helped to calm me."
Niemi and Swayze met as teenagers at his mother's dance studio, and their marriage became one of the most enduring relationships in Hollywood.
Swayze passed away at age 57 after a long battle with pancreatic cancer.
