Rihanna Tells Diane Sawyer: I'm 'Embarrassed' I Loved Chris Brown

Filed under: Famous Couples, Gut Reactions, Music News, Celebrity Scandal, Interviews

In the first portion of her ABC interview, Rihanna tells Diane Sawyer that she went back to Chris Brown "eight or nine" times following domestic violence incidents, and that she was blinded by love and made the wrong choices. "Don't react off of love. F love," Rihanna emotionally pleads to young girls who may be in her situation. Rihanna also says it was "embarrassing that's the type of person that I fell in love with," referring to Brown. Watch the Emotional Video After the Jump


During the portion of the interview, Rihanna says that she had troubles coming out with her side of the story because "there are a lot of women who experienced what I did, but not in public. It made it really difficult. Here it goes, my little bit of privacy was exposed. It's something nobody wants anybody to know. So here I am."

She says she was "embarrassed" by the situation because she "didn't want people to think that's the kind of person... I fell in love with that person," a love "so unconditional that I went back," Rihanna said, adding that it's "humiliating to say this happened. To accept that? It's a traumatizing experience." When Sawyer said many women often go back to their abusive boyfriends several times, Rihanna chimes in with her own personal number: "Eight or nine, actually."



There had been reports of previous domestic violence instances between Brown and Rihanna via her police report from that February night, but this is the first time she's acknowledged such a high number.

"I stayed. I even went back after he beat me, which was wrong ... I'm a human being and people put me on a very unrealistic pedestal," Rihanna tells Sawyer. "I'm not perfect. It's pretty natural for that to be the first reaction. It's completely normal to go back and start lying to yourself. The minute the physical wounds go away, you want this thing to go away. This is a memory you don't want to have again."

So what made Rihanna finally see that going back to Brown wasn't the answer? The fact that she has such an influence on the public thanks to her fame.

"When I realized that my selfish decision for love could result into some young girl getting killed, I could not be easy with that part. I couldn't be responsible ... If Chris never hit me again, who's to say that their boyfriend won't ... kill these girls? These are young girls. I just didn't realize how much of an impact I had on these girls until that happened. It was a wake-up call for me, big time, especially when I took myself out of the situation," Rihanna says emotionally.

She also offers advice to "any girl who is going through domestic violence: Don't react off of love. F love. To come out of the situation and look at it third-person and for what it really is, you then make your decision. Because love is so blinding."

Brown is currently serving five years probation after pleading guilty to felony assault charges stemming from the February 8 attack on Rihanna.

The full Rihanna interview will air on ABC's '20/20' on Friday night. Brown will also be doing an interview of his own, which will air on MTV on Thursday night.