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Levi Johnston, Put Your Pants On

Filed under: Media, Republican Convention, Sarah Palin, Woman Up

Seriously, Levi, put on your pants.

You posed nude. Things got out of hand. You got in over your head, got bad advice, let the attention flatter you. You were tempted by the easy money and the first-class travel, I understand. I'm sure it's difficult for an unemployed and uneducated young man to resist such enticing persuasion. That said, you need to get out of the shower and clean up your act. It's fine to have an appetite for publicity, but that's no reason to be infamous. There can be no good end to this course you've taken.

Porn is a huge industry in the United States. Playgirl Magazine is a player in that universe, and now, Levi, so are you. You are the Fleshbot awardee of an "11-inch dildo made of silver." The porn magazine that hired you has over 200 "arty," unclothed images of you for sale, several accessorized by a hockey stick. They will be releasing them to the public in a slow dribble.

I'm not saying adult entertainment isn't viable commerce, it's just really distasteful: ugly, exploitive, abusive and yes, dirty. They may be paying you what feels like a lot of money, (OK, $100,000 is a lot of money -- although I wonder how much of a cut goes to Sherman "Tank" Jones, your mentor, handler, spokesperson, business manager and bodyguard). But is it enough to make yourself into a punch line?

If political matters completely out of your control had not happened in the summer of 2008, most likely you'd have lived a quiet, unremarkable life in the wilds of Alaska. This opposite, media-centric version of Levi life you're experiencing is bound to be more interesting, but it is perilous and carries almost certain disappointment. When normalcy vanished, maybe turning yourself into a commodity was the only option you saw, but think about it. You have one important thing at the center of your life besides yourself: you are the father of a little boy. You didn't plan that. Abstinence is a great concept but it's bad preparation.

Such mistakes happen. When yours did, I don't know whether you and Bristol considered other scenarios beyond the one her parents laid out for you. (If ever there was an argument to explore reproductive options, it was yours.) But that's all history. However things transpired, you now have a tiny son, Tripp, 11 months old, who will need a dad. Act like you could be one.

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Ron Paul Wins! (Sort Of)

Filed under: Ron Paul, Primaries, Conventions, Republican Convention

A count of missing delegate ballots from Nevada's Republican convention last year concluded with a surprising result. It turns out three delegates supporting Rep. Ron Paul should have been sent from the Silver State to the national GOP convention in Minneapolis.

The result has no bearing on Nevada's role in nominating John McCain as the GOP candidate for president, the Reno Gazette-Journal reported. But a group of discontented Republicans who fought for the count say it's vindication for what they've been claiming all along: Ron Paul, who ran as an independent before dropping out in June, deserved a voice at the national convention.

In April 2008, the Nevada GOP convention was abruptly shut down by party leaders after a group of Paul supporters won a rules change that allowed them to alter the way national delegates were elected. As a result, a box of ballots from the 2nd Congressional District was locked up before being fully counted.

For 18 months Paul supporters demanded the remaining ballots be counted, stoking divisions within the Nevada Republican party. The count was finally made Friday and it was determined that delegates supporting Paul should have represented the 2nd District in Minneapolis.

"It's good to get it done," Paul supporter Wayne Terhune told the Gazette-Journal. "It's nice to be vindicated. The fact the three Ron Paul people won, indicates that might have been the reason they shut down the convention. Now it's done. We can put it behind us."

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Did The Press Corps Unfairly Pick on Palin?

Filed under: John McCain, Joe Biden, 2008 President, Republican Convention, Sarah Palin, Woman Up

On Meet The Press this weekend, former presidential candidate John McCain, discussing his running mate Sarah Palin, gave a shout out to Politics Daily's Carl Cannon for this piece about Palin bashing by the media during the campaign. If you haven't read Carl's piece yet, you should stop reading this and click over to read it now. I'll wait.

Carl's shaming of our colleagues in the press for stampeding and trampling Sarah Palin made me embarrassed. Over the course of the campaign, I personally read, shook my head over, laughed at, linked to, quoted, and wrote many unflattering Palin posts.

He also writes that the liberal ideology of members of the press corps is partly to blame. Politically neutral journalists are rare and I admit my political principles tend to be on the "liberal" side of the spectrum. Many of my friends outside of journalism have worked for Democrats or in support of traditionally Democratic issues. Most of my friends in the profession also lean to the left. That said, while there are many politicians whose platforms I support, including Mr. Obama, there are none I would hesitate to expose for looking ridiculous, hypocritical, or uninformed.

I do agree with Carl that Palin's counterpart on the opposing ticket, Joe Biden, got a much softer ride in the media but I don't believe that was due to political bias. I was willing to give Palin the benefit of the doubt, but, after seeing her poor performance in interviews, it was hard to take her seriously. She did not seem very informed. And though Joe is fun to make fun of -- I personally have a long history of finding Biden insufferable -- the familiar pleasure of mocking him could not compete with the fish-out-of-water frontier flamboyance of the Palin family on the campaign trail.

This is embarrassingly shallow, but the woman on the GOP ticket was also more interesting to cover because she was a giant celebrity, unusually attractive and, with the help of doppelganger comic styling by Tina Fey, hugely quotable. We were groupies. From the moment the press corps and most of the country met the VP candidate at the Republican convention in St. Paul, we were hooked by her unusual background, her natural public speaking ability, and, for tabloid fans, the most oddball press release of any budding ticket in history.

Much was made by Palin critics of her itinerant undergraduate career but she actually completed more schooling than I did. I am not from the Ivy League-educated circle of news reporters that Carl cites in his essay; I dropped out of my state university my freshman year and found my way to journalism through an instinct for investigative research and a love of the written word. But when I find myself out of my league, I try to lay low until I bone up, ask experts and read in. I don't want to make a fool of myself; Washingtonians are a tough crowd.

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2008: The Year Of Crushed Hope

Filed under: Rudy Giuliani, Fred Thompson, Featured Stories, Mitt Romney, Religion, 2008 President, Gay Rights, Terror, Ken Layne's Outrage, Republican Convention, Sarah Palin

Let's see, boarding passes are printed, luggage is packed, dog's at the kennel, crazy neighbor knows to shoot trespassers on sight .... What else? Ah, right, the Year In Review column! It's the proudest tradition in American Journalism, when your Main Stream Media gatekeepers throw together a quick retrospective of whatever happened during the year, before we all take off for a long winter vacation -- no "Christmas" for us, thanks! We're the media, after all.

We shall not soon forget this year that's almost over, 2008. Not until early 2009, anyway, when the real horror begins.

So let's sit back while we can still afford computers, and chairs, and enjoy a comical collection of the year's biggest, lamest failures. From snarling rat-faced would-be terror-dictator Rudy Giuliani to snarling snowbilly doofus Sarah Palin, this was truly the year when (GOP) Hope was Crushed.

Fred Thompson: Oh lord, this guy. The Republicans' chances were so absurdly dismal in '08 that somebody (Bill Kristol is usually behind these dumbo ideas) decided the last best Hope of the Grand Old Party was this lazy-ass old Southern Plantation Gentleman with his Gucci slippers and Trophy Wife and negative IQ. Why? Because he was on the TeeVee, of course! Sadly, he wasn't on Hee-Haw or NASCAR, so GOP primary voters had never heard of him.

Lesson Learned: If you're going to save your ridiculous redneck part of your rich-people party with an actor from the television, some fancy law program with big words is probably not the place to find your savior.

Mitt Romney: Sure, he's vain and elitist and the liberal ex-governor of Taxachusetts and, probably, an android. Sure, he speaks French and used to have about $250 million, before his failed campaign and the stock market collapse took most of his money. But Mitt's greatest sin was his religion, Mormonism. He could not prove to these people, these GOP primary voters, that he was a for-real Jesus Freak, because he belonged to this scary religion ... possibly the same scary religion practiced by old what's his name, Osama bin Laden!

Lesson Learned: If you're going to run a Mormon candidate and win the Evangelicals, do your Mormon-financed anti-gay marriage campaign first.

Rudy Giuliani: Speaking of gays, this smug crook actually lived with a bunch of homosexual men, in New York, recently! He also liked to dress up like various ladies and sing show tunes. Also, this is the dumb jerk who built his emergency headquarters IN THE WORLD TRADE CENTER, which had already been bombed by terrorists. And while America was grieving the 9/11 dead, Rudy was canoodling with his mistress on the NYPD's tab! Rudy made the New York police chauffeur this woman around Manhattan and up to the Hamptons, as rancid smoke poured out of Ground Zero! He divorced one of his wives on the teevee news! His own children wouldn't endorse his candidacy.

Lesson Learned: There are some things not even Republicans will tolerate.

Sarah Palin: Is she really gone? The Guardian Angel of Comedy looked down upon America last summer and said, "Yea, verily, you people are screwed. If any nation ever needed two months of non-stop laughs, it is you people, you sad losers." And lo, Sarah Palin appeared. We will never see her kind again. How dumb is Sarah Palin? She makes Fred Thompson look smart, that's how dumb!

But anybody can be dumb -- most people are, in fact. Palin's superpower was her insane ambition and boundless thievery. This is a person who charged Alaskan taxpayers a per diem so she could sleep at her own house! When the wealthy old GOP donors cut off her $300,000 shopping spree, she made her own staff pay for her luxury clothes, on their personal credit cards!

Lesson Learned: None. She'll be back, probably as the 2012 candidate for whatever dingbat fringe party will have her on the ticket. She is absolutely convinced she'll be president of something, eventually.

Ken Layne is an East Coast Republican scholar who regularly attends Georgetown cocktail parties with other Moderate Conservative Rich People who are actually competent, which is why they all work for the Obama Administration, now. He is Executive Editor of Wonkette, a foreign policy quarterly.

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Key Convention Speakers, Players

Justin Sullivan, Getty Images

John McCain, Thursday night
After 26 years in Congress, most of them in the Senate, the Arizona Republican stepped up to accept his party's nomination as president. McCain has been called a maverick for opposing the GOP on some issues, yet he remains a conservative. The son and grandson of admirals, McCain was a Navy pilot during a military career marked by more than five years as a prisoner of war in Vietnam.

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Opening Day Like No Other

Fredy Perojo, AOL

Cindy McCain and first lady Laura Bush were cheered by the convention delegates when they appeared before the Republican National Convention Monday afternoon to urge contributions to help Hurricane Gustav victims.

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Monday, Sept. 1, 2008

Revised Schedule due to Hurricane Gustav

Due to Hurricane Gustav, organizers of the Republican National Convention canceled most speeches and program activities for Monday beyond the official business that must be conducted under party rules. Monday's session was expected to run from approximately 3:30 p.m. EDT to 6:30 p.m. EDT. Items of business were expected to include:

Key Speakers: Cindy McCain and first lady Laura Bush will deliver short remarks

- Constitute the convention
- Secure report of credentials committee
- Adopt rules for the convention
- Elect officers for the convention
- Adopt party platform

The schedule for the rest of the four-day convention was to be determined on a day-by-day basis, depending on the course of Hurricane Gustav.

Day Two in St. Paul

David Rogowski, AOL

Addressing Republican National Convention delegates via satellite from the White House Tuesday night, President Bush said the nation would be safer with John McCain as president. First lady Laura Bush, on the left, introduced her husband from inside the convention hall.

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Tuesday, Sept. 2, 2008

Note: Revised Schedule

Convention Prime-Time: Xcel Energy Center, 7:30PM-11PM ET / 6:30-10PM CT
Theme of the Day: "Reform"
Highlights to Watch: Video address by President Bush, speech from Sen. Joe Lieberman
Other Key Speakers: First Lady Laura Bush, Former U.S. Sen. Fred Thompson (Tenn.), Sen. Norm Coleman (Minn.), Rep. Michele Bachmann (Minn.) and House Republican Leader John Boehner (Ohio)

Day 3 at the Convention

Fredy Perojo, AOL

Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin takes the stage Wednesday at the GOP National Convention in St. Paul. In her speech, the Alaska governor uncorked a slashing attack on Democrat Barack Obama and vowed to help her running mate, John McCain, bring real change to Washington.

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Wednesday, Sept. 3, 2008

Note: Revised schedule; more details to come

Convention Prime-Time: Xcel Energy Center, 7PM-11PM ET / 6PM-10PM CT
Theme of the Day: "Prosperity"
Highlights to Watch: Rudy Giuliani's keynote address, Vice Presidential Nominee Sarah Palin
Other Key Speakers: Former Govs. Mike Huckabee (Ark.) and Mitt Romney (Mass.), Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell (Ky.), former Chairman and CEO of Hewlett-Packard Carly Fiorina

See Full Wednesday Schedule

Final Day for the Republicans

Paul Sancya, AP

Sen. John McCain of Arizona accepted the GOP presidential nomination Thursday night before cheering delegates at the Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minn. "Stand up and fight" with me, he urged voters.

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Thursday, Sept. 4, 2008

Note: Revised schedule

Convention Prime-Time: Xcel Energy Center, 8PM-11PM ET / 7-10PM CT
Theme of the Day: "Peace"
Highlights to Watch: Republican Presidential Nominee John McCain's acceptance speech
Other Key Speakers: Cindy McCain, Gov. Tim Pawlenty (Minn.), U.S. Sens. Sam Brownback (Kan.), Lindsey Graham (S.C.) and Mel Martinez (Fla.), Former Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Ridge, former U.S. Sen. Bill Frist (Tenn.)

Full Thursday Schedule to Come