Hot Tubs, Me and Mike Gravel (Earmuff The Kids)

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Hot Tubs, Me and Mike Gravel (Earmuff The Kids)

Posted Apr 28th 2007 12:27AM by Ben Mankiewicz
Filed under: Politics, Young Turks, Democrats

The big surprise out of Orangeburg, SC last night was the feisty performance of former Alaska Senator Mike Gravel. "I gotta tell you, after standing up with them" said Gravel of the other Democratic candidates, "some of these people frighten me."

He was angry, passionate, energetic and funny. He was therefore completely unlike the seven other options.

It was the kind of performance political junkies have come to expect of the candidate lagging farthest behind in the polls. When you have the least name recognition, you can say just about anything (in Gravel's case, asking Barack Obama whom he'd nuke next) and hope to generate publicity that has thus far eluded your campaign.

For the most part, in Gravel's case, it worked. Pundits like Andrea Mitchell and Chris Matthews loved it. Each called him a radical. I think they meant it as a compliment. Matthews called him a "challenge to conventional thinking." Mitchell called him both "refreshing" and a "bomb thrower," which is a rare combination – when's the last time you read about a "refreshing bomb thrower?"

But what I love about Mike Gravel didn't come up at Thursday's debate. And it won't at any time during the campaign. That's because, to know what I know, you had to buy Mike's Gravel's house outside Washington, DC in 1986. Which is what my mother did.

We moved in during the summer after my freshman year at college. Right away, I loved Mike Gravel, a man I knew absolutely nothing about. That's because in the bathroom just off the basement bedroom, where I would live, was a giant hot tub.

An eight person hot tub.

It was the kind of hot tub where you do, um, things. Things that every 19-year-old college student wants to do all...the...time. It was, to use the vernacular of my generation, "like totally awesome."

At the risk of sharing far, far too much information about myself, I made it happen in that hot tub, if you know what I mean. It wasn't my first time around the block, but I was still young enough to be counting. And the summers of 1986 and 1987 were good to me, and I suspect I owe it all to the allure of the tub.

So when I read last year that former Alaska Senator Mike Gravel, out of the Senate and out of power since 1981, was running for President, I felt good for America. I thought he was just what the country needed. I like the idea of a commander in chief who enjoys the limitless possibilities offered by a giant hot tub. (I have no information at all about Gravel personally, but there's no way anybody used that hot tub just to soak their feet).

The last time we had a president who clearly enjoyed the act of love it worked out great for the country – you know, peace and prosperity.

Plus, I thought – leaving out that Gravel had and has no chance – "wouldn't it be cool if I had 'relations' in the same hot tub, even years apart, as a future the President of United States?"

I called my cousin and told him about the Gravel hot tub connection. "Oh, yeah," he said, "I had sex in the hot tub too." Hmm...I hadn't known that. A few more calls to some more friends revealed that four of them...FOUR...had also managed to gain access to the basement of that house to bring girls over to sample the tub.

So in total that's me, probably Mike Gravel, my cousin and four of my closest friends. Each using the same hot tub. All of a sudden, my sordid little story crossed from moderately cool to completely gross.

I think I'll just keep supporting Barack Obama. I have no idea where he lived.

The Young Turks

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Reader Comments ( Page 1 of 1)

1. Gravel was certainly the Democratic version of old nutty Mr. Perot. Except he was downright funny and
probably right about everything he said, except mainstream politics is not listening. Same goes for Dennis the menace and his gorgeous...daughter...err redhead wife.

They say it right, really right and really wrong at the same time. As a very liberal Democrat what they say is right on and I wish we had a pair of balls or two to go after the damn felons in the administration. Then we can call in the troops from Iraq to build a special GWB prison in downtown Washington right near the Smithsonian.

Atta boy Dennis and Mr. Gravel.

barry sinrod at 4:55PM on Apr 28th 2007

2. Make love, not war, seriously!

Howard Park at 4:58PM on Apr 28th 2007

3. Was it Bill O'Reilly who made up the term "bomb thrower" to describe someone who's cranky? Apparently Limbaugh coined MSM, Savage claims "compassionate conservative" and almost definitely coined "Islamo-fascist" and now people who are near-normal use "bomb thrower." These guys are the palmetto bugs of the English language. All up in my business. I want 'em out!

lil_turk at 8:21PM on Apr 28th 2007

4. "Bomb thrower" has been around for decades at least. I heard it used that way in my childhood 40 years ago. I suspect it may have come into use in the late 1800s/early 1900s when wild-eyed, crazy anarchists were literally throwing bombs.

"Compassionate conservatism" was coined by Marvin Olasky in the early 90s.

patriotboy at 11:49PM on Apr 28th 2007

5. To have Mr. Gravel included in the June 3rd debate in N.H., you need to call Jim Walton, President of CNN Newsgroup, personally in his office at 404-878-1720 . Let him know how excited you were to see Senator Gravel on MSNBC last week, and tell him that Mike Gravel's voice ought to be heard on June 3rd in N.H. This is a direct phone line to a top CNN executive. I just left him a voice mail myself. I told him that given all of our troubles right now, there is no reason to exclude Mr. Gravel's patriotic voice from the next debate. Mike Gravel published the Pentagon Papers, and he used parliamentary tactics to end the draft in this country. Now, with our nation embroiled in catastrophe, and with the general election more than a year and a half away, CNN really ought to give this true patriot an opportunity to speak!

It only takes a minute, and if you are as frustrated and concerned as I am, then you should consider telling CNN to open up the debate to Sen. Gravel on June 3rd.

In the first quarter of this year, Senator Gravel accumulated a total of $496 for his campaign. That puts him well behind Hillary and Obama, who each raised over $25,000,000.00 in that same period. That should tell you all you need to know about the state of the Democratic party right now. If Hillary or Obama get elected, you can expect "politics as usual."

Mike at 11:06PM on Apr 29th 2007

6. Hey Mike, thanks for that number. I just called. A woman answered the phone - probably Mr. Walton's secretary. She thanked me for my comment and transferred me to their public information line, which she said is keeping track of the number of calls they get on this.

I'm going to post that number, and info on Gravel, everywhere I can. I want to help make sure they get enough calls to include him in that debate. It would be great if there was a way to track who calls as well, so we can know how many and see if the numbers match with CNN down the road.

Now, if those of us who call would also donate just $5 to his campaign, it might make a real difference. I have never donated to a presidential campaign before - but this is one that I think is worth it.

Maureen at 11:16AM on May 1st 2007

7. My Idea of A Dream Ticket Would be Mike Gravel And John Anderson(R-Ill). Anderson Was One of Reagan's Challengers In 1980 Who Ran later As Independent. Both Seem To Be More Libertarian Than "Suits" For Their Respective Parties. America Needs To Break From the Same Political Jitterbug It's been Dancing Since 1928 IF We,As A Nation,Are To Survive The Next 20-40 Years.

JannetMoore at 11:03PM on May 4th 2007

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Mo Rocca appears on a bunch of shows, including CBS News Sunday Morning (with the indescribably wonderful Charles Osgood), The Tonight Show on NBC, and NPR's Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! He's a sometime judge on Iron Chef and was featured on Telemundo's Amore Descarado. Last year he starred on Broadway in the 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. His expose "All the President's Pets" was published by Crown in 2004.