Why can I not take my eyes off Lindsay Lohan?! Every step, breath, cooter flash, accident, water bottle is an effort to grab my attention and damn it its working. I curse her for being such a glorious train wreck to watch.

Recent interviews Lindsay has done with Nylon Magazine and Allure are so chock full of goodies I could post for a month but don't fret I won't torture you like that. Here are a few of the highlights:

On ending up in rehab:

Lohan, 20, tells Allure for its May issue that she had awakened at home last Jan. 17 to a house surrounded both on the ground and in the air by paparazzi.

Her therapist suggested Wonderland, up in Laurel Canyon, and once Lohan was told that paparazzi were kept out she drove there with a friend who had "more problems than I did," she recalls.

She then checked out the place and found "a quiet room, all white, with parquet, and it was different! I just felt safe," she says. "I thought, 'I'm going to stay here tonight.' And I stayed there. For a month. It was great..."

"That's my life!" She also compared herself to Marilyn Monroe and claimed to be shocked she ended up needing treatment: "It's so weird that I went to rehab. I always said I would die before I went to rehab."

On how all the press attention is ruining her chances of winning an Oscar:

"The thing about the press and why they need to leave me the [bleep] alone for a little bit is because I don't want that distraction from my work. I want to get a nomination. I want to win an Oscar. I want to be known for more than, like, going out. For being 'the party girl.' I hate that. I bust my [bleep] when I'm filming, and when I gave time off, yeah, I like to go out and dance."

At least she recognizes the problem and has decided to slow down...oh I'm so funny!