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Message to Bush and Carter: "Boys, Boys! You're BOTH Crappy Presidents!"

Yesterday was a spa day for me, so I didn't have a chance to weigh in on the Carter-Bush "Who's the Worst President Ever?" spat. Here's what I'd like to say to them:

Gentlemen, I'm aghast. It's beneath you both to fight so publicly over who deserves the coveted second-to-worst-president title. And very un-Christian, I might add. Remember: Pride goeth before a fall. And historians will punish the more arrogant of you with a ranking at the very bottom. (Warren Harding must be pleased as punch, doing a little dance in his Marion, Ohio mausoleum: "I'm the third-to-worst! Movin' on up! Yippeee!")

There are differences, of course, in the terrible jobs you did (and continue to do) as Commander-in-Chief. In essence:

President Carter, you let terrible things happen. You came to Washington as a smug preacher, elected to clean up Washington post-Watergate, and never let up on the act. Your fellow Democrats on the Hill, Speaker Tip O'Neill chief among them, couldn't stand you and your unwillingness to compromise. (Politics is about compromise!) You in your cardigan sweater, priggishly checking the White House tennis court sign-in sheets, always interested in appearing righteous, rather than actually acting, doing. When the Soviet Union invaded Afghanistan what did you do? You ordered a boycott of the Moscow Olympics! That showed them! No wonder we couldn't recover the American hostages held in Iran on your watch. The image of you in a fishing boat in Plains, Georgia, swatting at a "killer rabbit" with your oar, sums up your ineffectiveness.

Now wipe that smirk off your face, President Bush. You're not off the hook - not by a long shot. President Carter let bad things happen. You've actually made bad things happen. You must know the spiritual "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands." If you're God's instrument, as you seem to believe, then you'll agree that the American people put the whole world in your hands, if only for these two presidential terms. Well guess what? You dropped it. You got elected, took the world in your two hands, and with the invasion of Iraq, dropped it. (If I were uncharitable, I'd say you spiked it. I don't believe that's the case. I don't think you intended to break the world.) Unlike President Carter, you've been proactive. I'll give you that. It's just that you've made terrible decisions. Maybe history's not on America's side. Maybe we were destined to recede in importance on the world stage. But you've accelerated the process

Right now, President Bush, you are the worst. But be careful, President Carter. You are so smug that we might be tempted to strip you of your second-to-worst-president-in-history title. Now behave!

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Mo Rocca appears on a bunch of shows, including CBS News Sunday Morning (with the indescribably wonderful Charles Osgood), The Tonight Show on NBC, and NPR's Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! He's a sometime judge on Iron Chef and was featured on Telemundo's Amore Descarado. Last year he starred on Broadway in the 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. His expose "All the President's Pets" was published by Crown in 2004.



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News Bloggers

Mo Rocca appears on a bunch of shows, including CBS News Sunday Morning (with the indescribably wonderful Charles Osgood), The Tonight Show on NBC, and NPR's Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! He's a sometime judge on Iron Chef and was featured on Telemundo's Amore Descarado. Last year he starred on Broadway in the 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. His expose "All the President's Pets" was published by Crown in 2004.

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