The firestorm generated by my post and poll regarding Oscar-winning actress Marlee Matlin's attendance at Tuesday night's American Idol has culminated with an insightful and inspiring message from none other than Marlee herself. It all started with a message from her interpreter, Jack Jason.
Here's what he wrote:
Mo. Try and figure this out. Marlee is deaf but her kids are not and they're fans. She didn't want her 11 year old daughter going to the show unaccompanied. Plus, Marlee is deaf not blind. Half the show is about the spectacle and why would a person who is a fan of this kind of stuff want something like deafness get in her way? If that were the case, she would've never entered acting and won an Academy Award because she's "handicapped." Thank goodness comments, even jokingly, like the ones you made don't bother her. But you know what bothers me? Comments like the one you made might come across to people who might have never met a deaf person as fact and just onfirm the misconception that all deaf people do is sit in silence and close themselves off from the world; far from it.
And I'm speaking as a person who knows Marlee well; I'm the interpreter guy, Jack, who's worked with her for 21 years and my parents are deaf too.
Have a good one.
Jack Jason
Then I wrote:
First off, Jack, I thank you for taking the time to write. In fact I don't know any deaf people. And all the comments, including yours, have filled me in on how much I don't know.
Like too many people, I'm afraid, I've assumed that "deaf" means that someone cannot hear at all. Certainly I'd heard of people being "partially deaf," but I've always defaulted to the assumption that a deaf person can't hear at all.
But even if someone cannot hear at all, that person can still appreciate the spectacle that is American Idol. Marlee Matlin is obviously a person of the world - a rightly acclaimed actress, brilliant in Children of a Lesser God, Picket Fences, The West Wing and so many other films and TV shows. And a mother who wanted to take her 11 year old to the Kodak Center for a fun night out.
As for the commenters who've labeled me the deaf community's Imus, they're overreacting. If what people want is an apology, I'll grant one under only one condition: that I get to deliver to Marlee in person. (I'm a huge fan!)
Oh, and Jack, if you can get Marlee to comment on my blog, I'll flip. None of the other aol bloggers have gotten comments from even Oscar nominees.
And then came Comment #1 ... from Marlee Matlin. See below.
Reader Comments ( Page 1 of 2)
1. Mo - here's your dream come true. Marlee asked me to pass along this note to you. Feel free to post it.
Mo,
Thanks for making time for Jack. I agree with you; he made some good points. That's what I pay him for.
Here's the short version of my thoughts. If this kind of stuff bothered me, I wouldn't have ever done shows like "Seinfeld" and "My Name is Earl" where they poked fun at being deaf. But that's what satire and humor is all about. I don't mind that people wondered why Marlee Matlin was at American Idol. Kathy Griffin even said it to me. She asked "Why are you here? You're deaf." And I deadpanned, "Shhh. Don't tell anyone. I've been faking it all this time." After a few seconds of silence, we broke out laughing and she said she was going to use it in her act. I loved that.
At the end of the day it's not the humor or the jokes that bother me, it's the real stuff like discrimination, lack of understanding, and inequality that ticks me off. Even more annoying are people who actually take the humor and use it to reinforce their prejudices. It's true some of your readers might have been sensitive to your comments but that's because they've been on the receiving end of ignorance - big time. So maybe that means we should choose our words carefully. At the same time, I think free speech and common sense are important too. So, you won't see me going Al Sharpton on you if you want to make a joke about me or my deafness. I'd just hope that people would just consider what they say and what they label as "humor" in this YouTube, Instant Message world where things get replayed over and over again until we're desensitized. And I'm referring to both pro and con arguments. Let's just lower the volume, I say. (Pun intended).
Mo, the only thing I can't do is hear. I actually love music and can hear a little because I wear a hearing aid. At concerts, I watch how singers perform on stage (and isn't that what Randy and Simon said, that Blake was the best "performer"?), I watch body movements, observe clothing choices, and can actually tell when someone is a bad singer just by the way they move. But enough of the technical stuff. I bet if we met, you'd find me to be the loudest person you ever knew; I'm anything but "silent."
Speaking of meeting, if you want to fawn at my feet and worship my Oscar, you're welcome to come on up to Vancouver. I'm having a great time being Jennifer Beals' main squeeze on "The L Word" but I'll make time for you. We'll have some milk and cookies.
Best,
Marlee Matlin
Jack Jason at 7:09PM on May 24th 2007
2. What a treat for Mo AND his fans! You're kickass, Marlee; which is why you are so well loved.
Kudos to you too Mr. Jackson for responding and putting Mo in his place.
still hypMOtized.
giftedgirl at 9:30PM on May 24th 2007
3. Dang it! I meant to say Mr. Jason. (I'm so embarrassed.) Proofreading is fundamental.
giftedgirl at 12:51AM on May 25th 2007
4. And this is why Ms. Matlin is not only one of the most gifted actresses out there, but one of the most down to Earth human beings around.
Thanks for sharing this with us, Mr. Jackson.
Sara at 12:08PM on May 25th 2007
5. Congratulations Mo, you got your wish. She posted.
Thats awesome. Lets see if anyone one else can get a Oscar winner/nominee to post. I bet not.
MrsMoRocca at 6:34PM on May 25th 2007
6. I wear 2 hearing aids, but some voice tones are difficult for me to hear, so I recently had to re-
peatedly ask the supermarket cashier what she was asking me. The very impatient woman behind me on the line then slapped her hand on the counter and angrily demand "Why do come in here if you can't hear?" I told her, "because my family gets hungry."
marie raisig at 7:29PM on May 26th 2007
7. I thought nothing of Ms. Matlin attending AI. The best dance partner I ever had was deaf. He could feel the vibrations in the floor. He was also an engineer and the most amazing man you would ever hope to meet and know.
kstme at 7:38PM on May 26th 2007
8. I'm also a hard of hearing person who wears two hearing aids. I go to many concerts. I have taken my deaf sister-in-law to some as well. She loves going to concerts. She can feel the vibrations. Just because you are deaf doesn't mean you don't enjoy music. Mo got it right when she said that discrimination, lack of understanding, and inequality are the things that tick us off. Some people are just ignorant.
Donna at 8:14AM on May 27th 2007
9. I just wanted to add that people who are hearing impaired make the best workers. They are extremely focused and appreciative for their job that they do well and without time wasted chit chatting.
I also want to add something pertaining to overweight American Idol contestents. Every person on this earth strives to do something great and singing is a path for some. For Mo, it is writing and one day he might become great at it. Keep on keeping on Mo, you can do it!
librasoul7 at 3:53PM on May 27th 2007
10. Oh shoot, I always frigging missed Marlee Matlin!!
Tsk. I guess I deserved that. :D
I got to this page from MishkaZena's blog..
Ah, I'll copy and paste what I said over there:
:)
You go, Marlee!!
I wonder if she’s a Pearl Jam fan? Come on, you know I had to ask! :D
I’d love to rock out with her at one of the shows. :D And other deafies!!
I hate to be the only deaf PJ fan at a concert. :(
This coming from one of her not-so-cool bashing fans in the past. I had personal issues that I did not take into consideration until much later in life.
I have gained so much respect for her and I think I really deserve a slap in the face from her as a part of her therapy from some personal attacks in the deaf community over the course of years!
I now completely understand where she’s coming from!
I am still so mad for missing her when she was here for the Extreme Home Makeover for a deaf family here in Michigan… that day I just didn’t feel like driving for 45-1 hour!!
And there was Marlee Matlin!!
One of these days, I’ll meet her and apologize to her in person! :)
I know she probably doesn’t care, but it sure as hell would make me feel better!
:D
Rock on, Marlee!!!
Yup, I'm deaf and a music lover, too!!!
Maybe one of these days you'll get to slap my face, Marlee... :)
\m/ Keep rocking in the free world! \m/ ~ Neil Young
IamMine at 10:34AM on May 29th 2007
11. Kudos to Marlee for responding to your blog.
Mo, I'm profoundly deaf. I grew up with hearing family and I did not learn American Sign Language until I went to college. Now I can say I'm fluent in ASL and I use it to communicate rather than speak. I wear hearing aids. I also own 2 iPods. I love listening to all kinds of music. My favorites are Barbra Streisand (her first 2 decades), Bette Midler, Judy Garland, Roberta Flack, kd lang, and many others.
Deaf doesn't mean you can't hear, period. I may have profound loss but with the aid of hearing aids, I'm able to hear and make out the sounds. It takes practice to listen to one's song with a paper with lyrics on it.
Thanks for opening your mind and learn more about our Deaf culture. you're a cool guy. Definitely not Imus. :)
Mikey at 2:00PM on May 29th 2007
12. You go, MM! To further reinforce the meme, I used to work in a movie theatre in Los Angeles. Once Stevie Wonder, avec entourage, showed up to see DUNE. I wondered aloud to my box office person why he'd bother, and she pointed out, "he likes Dolby." Dune - crappy movie, great mix.
Daniel K at 4:33PM on May 29th 2007
13. Oh why did Mo Rocca say and make such an ignorant blog? I'm deaf but wear hearing aids and I watch American Idol, Jordin and Melinda were my favorites because I can hear them sing beautifully.
So please vote:
Why did MO ROCCA make an ignorant blog?
a. He wanted milk and cookies with Marlee
b. He did not understand what deaf is and is dumb.
c. He's just a jerk
d. He's Marlee's limo driver and misunderstood her
conversation in sign language.
Brian at 7:28PM on May 29th 2007
14. First off, I want to thank everyone for their comments. That of course includes Jack and the incomparable Marlee.
Thanks also to Sara, giftedgirl, Donna and MrsMoRocca for chiming in.
Marie Raisig, reading about your encounter in the supermarket made me gasp. That woman must have been stunned by your brilliant response. Good for you.
kstme, I'm intrigued. What ever happened to the engineer/dance partner?
librasoul07, interesting point about deaf workers being focused.
IamMine, I will ask Marlee if she's a Pearl Jam fan when I meet her. I will also ask her to slap me across the face for you, if you really want that.
Mikey, you and I share almost identical music tastes - though I was a bit distressed by Bette Midler on the last AI episode. (I also love Loretta Lynn.) I imagine that deaf music lovers have a special appreciation for lyrics.
Daniel K., great story about Dune and Stevie Wonder. I'll refrain from posting any poll about blind people and why they go to movies.
Finally, Brian, I'm flawed in many many ways. But I'm actually not a jerk. (I'm more annoying than jerky.)
Mo Rocca at 2:26PM on May 31st 2007
15. I am hearing, but am slowly moving closer and closer to being hard of hearing. I have several d/Deaf friends, and have a passing knowledge of sign language.
I once went to a wedding, and one of my deaf friends was there, as well. She is profoundly deaf, and can't really hear much at all. The music was PUMPING, and she asked me "are they playing DISCO?". She could tell the genre of the music by the vibrations of the floor.
Yup. Deafness comes in all sorts of variations. Just like skin tones, eye colors, etc.
I have always loved Marlee Matlin as an actress and respected her work, and now I respect her as a person even more by her response. Classy lady. (Her interpreter's no slouch, either.)
AuntLynnie at 2:42PM on May 31st 2007