The firestorm generated by my post and poll regarding Oscar-winning actress Marlee Matlin's attendance at Tuesday night's American Idol has culminated with an insightful and inspiring message from none other than Marlee herself. It all started with a message from her interpreter, Jack Jason.
Here's what he wrote:
Mo. Try and figure this out. Marlee is deaf but her kids are not and they're fans. She didn't want her 11 year old daughter going to the show unaccompanied. Plus, Marlee is deaf not blind. Half the show is about the spectacle and why would a person who is a fan of this kind of stuff want something like deafness get in her way? If that were the case, she would've never entered acting and won an Academy Award because she's "handicapped." Thank goodness comments, even jokingly, like the ones you made don't bother her. But you know what bothers me? Comments like the one you made might come across to people who might have never met a deaf person as fact and just onfirm the misconception that all deaf people do is sit in silence and close themselves off from the world; far from it.
And I'm speaking as a person who knows Marlee well; I'm the interpreter guy, Jack, who's worked with her for 21 years and my parents are deaf too.
Have a good one.
Jack Jason
Then I wrote:
First off, Jack, I thank you for taking the time to write. In fact I don't know any deaf people. And all the comments, including yours, have filled me in on how much I don't know.
Like too many people, I'm afraid, I've assumed that "deaf" means that someone cannot hear at all. Certainly I'd heard of people being "partially deaf," but I've always defaulted to the assumption that a deaf person can't hear at all.
But even if someone cannot hear at all, that person can still appreciate the spectacle that is American Idol. Marlee Matlin is obviously a person of the world - a rightly acclaimed actress, brilliant in Children of a Lesser God, Picket Fences, The West Wing and so many other films and TV shows. And a mother who wanted to take her 11 year old to the Kodak Center for a fun night out.
As for the commenters who've labeled me the deaf community's Imus, they're overreacting. If what people want is an apology, I'll grant one under only one condition: that I get to deliver to Marlee in person. (I'm a huge fan!)
Oh, and Jack, if you can get Marlee to comment on my blog, I'll flip. None of the other aol bloggers have gotten comments from even Oscar nominees.
And then came Comment #1 ... from Marlee Matlin. See below.
Reader Comments ( Page 1 of 2)
1. Hi Mo,
Even tho your blog is old which I came across many months later today. I enjoyed reading yours and everyone's message. Marlee Matlin is a great intelligent woman!
I'd like to comment about deaf people going to concert or listening to music despite their deafness. I, myself profoundly deaf and do play drums. I was in a band playing percussion at age 9. I played in a concert band throughout the school years and also was involved in marching band in Jr High and a football marching band in high school. When I was in Jr High, my high school band teacher heard so much about my being in band during Jr High and was so nervous having me in his class. He was so proud of me that I did excellent and helped lead the band to the beat without slowing down. Then went to college at NTID (National Technical Institute for the Deaf) in '85, I continued playing music as a selective course there. You may be in awe to hear this that I played in NTID Combo Band which plays by all deaf musicians who travel to perform different events.
My most inspirational deaf musician - the greatest solo percussionist is Evelyn Glennie from UK. She was invited to give her performance at NTID and I met her in person. Playing one song with her was the most excitement in my entire life. Check her out: www.evelyn.co.uk
I saw Marlee when she was invited as a guest speaker at NTID in '86. I got selected to ask her a question regarding the difference between in movie and stage play of "Children of a Lesser God".
To the point....there are so many deaf people out there with so many talents that you may not realized. Deafness does not stop us for what we can do except hear.
Without Matlin...there may not be any deaf professional actors/actresses in Hollywood today. She opened their eyes that we have so many talents in many way. Thank you Marlee!
Melissa at 2:32AM on Jan 29th 2008
2. Did you see Marlee on Dancing With the Stars last night? I was totally shocked and amazed. Great job Marlee!!!
Marlee Matlin on Dancing With the Stars at 5:59PM on Mar 19th 2008
3. Hi there. I'm hard of hearing, and have been since I was born; I also speak only and do not sign, nor do I know how to. While I did not read every comment on here, there are a couple I found that I wanted to respond to. First, deaf is where a person cannot hear at all. Hard of hearing is where you have some hearing and wear hearing aids to assist you in hearing everything. One thing that pisses me off is when Dancing with the Stars say that Marlee can't hear the music...that is extremely not true...because she can't dance, she's using her hearing loss as an excuse. While it's true that it is difficult to "hear" the rhythm, she most certainly can hear the music, not to mention feel the beat of the music. I latin dance and I have difficulty "hearing"/following the rhythm, but that doesn't mean I can't hear the music. It's rather pathetic how she uses her hearing like that and who knows how else she has taken advantage of her hearing loss. Oh, and on another note, Marlee, you can speak, stop using an interpreter.
Jocelyn at 1:11AM on May 21st 2008
4. I will add that my hearing loss is 70-90 db in both ears. I have never been a part of the deaf community or gone to a deaf school except for the first two years after getting hearing aids and learning to speak.
Jocelyn at 1:15AM on May 21st 2008
5. Coming in a little late in this conversation, I would like to add my unsolicited $0.02 worth.
First, foremost, but not most importantly, I am Deaf. To most people, the word "deaf" is translated to mean "absence of hearing". Which means that most hearing people think that Deaf people can be cured by saying their words very loudly in the face of the Deaf person.
There are very fundamental misconceptions regarding people with disabilities that really piss me off. We aren't stupid, we're just lacking things that the majority of the world's populous takes for granted.
We aren't stupid or otherwise mentally deficient. We are your next-door neighbors, the person you meet at the grocery store, Wal-Mart, the post office, or virtually any other place that you frequent. We love music, movies, and we won't magically disappear if you suddenly realize that we're somehow inferior to your definition of a perfect human being.
Instead of sitting around waiting on the government to make our livings for us, we have jobs, and we're damn good at them. I am a self-employed news writer, and you've undoubtedly read several things that I've authored, without realizing it. I've been published in USA Today, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, The New York Times, etc. Gee, and you thought all Deaf people could do is sell pencils.
I saved the best for last:
Jocelyn made a pretty stupid statement in her response where she wrote "Oh, and on another note, Marlee, you can speak, stop using an interpreter."
Jocelyn, dear, are you really that ignorant, or do you count yourself among the populous that are mentally deficient? Just because someone who lacks the ability to hear well happens to have the ability to speak doesn't mean that their ears have magically started working. Myself, I am able to speak so well that I've been told that I sound like a "normal person". (Someone please tell me what 'normal' means.) However, merely because I have the ability to speak very fluently doesn't mean that my ears work too.
I rely on an interpreter for nearly everything. I have two telephones in my office: one for me to speak on, and the other for my interpreter to listen in, and interpret what's being said on the part of the phone that you stick your ear on.
He also attends staff meetings with me, publisher meetings, interviews for news stories, etc. He's a very integral part of my everyday life. I teasingly call him my "hearing ear dog". (Inside joke.)
Cheers & Happy New Year,
J.Scott
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wwrwruoteq at 10:21AM on Jan 24th 2009
7. Mo - here's your dream come true. Marlee asked me to pass along this note to you. Feel free to post it.
Mo,
Thanks for making time for Jack. I agree with you; he made some good points. That's what I pay him for.
Here's the short version of my thoughts. If this kind of stuff bothered me, I wouldn't have ever done shows like "Seinfeld" and "My Name is Earl" where they poked fun at being deaf. But that's what satire and humor is all about. I don't mind that people wondered why Marlee Matlin was at American Idol. Kathy Griffin even said it to me. She asked "Why are you here? You're deaf." And I deadpanned, "Shhh. Don't tell anyone. I've been faking it all this time." After a few seconds of silence, we broke out laughing and she said she was going to use it in her act. I loved that.
At the end of the day it's not the humor or the jokes that bother me, it's the real stuff like discrimination, lack of understanding, and inequality that ticks me off. Even more annoying are people who actually take the humor and use it to reinforce their prejudices. It's true some of your readers might have been sensitive to your comments but that's because they've been on the receiving end of ignorance - big time. So maybe that means we should choose our words carefully. At the same time, I think free speech and common sense are important too. So, you won't see me going Al Sharpton on you if you want to make a joke about me or my deafness. I'd just hope that people would just consider what they say and what they label as "humor" in this YouTube, Instant Message world where things get replayed over and over again until we're desensitized. And I'm referring to both pro and con arguments. Let's just lower the volume, I say. (Pun intended).
Mo, the only thing I can't do is hear. I actually love music and can hear a little because I wear a hearing aid. At concerts, I watch how singers perform on stage (and isn't that what Randy and Simon said, that Blake was the best "performer"?), I watch body movements, observe clothing choices, and can actually tell when someone is a bad singer just by the way they move. But enough of the technical stuff. I bet if we met, you'd find me to be the loudest person you ever knew; I'm anything but "silent."
Speaking of meeting, if you want to fawn at my feet and worship my Oscar, you're welcome to come on up to Vancouver. I'm having a great time being Jennifer Beals' main squeeze on "The L Word" but I'll make time for you. We'll have some milk and cookies.
Best,
Marlee Matlin
Jack Jason at 7:09PM on May 24th 2007
8. What a treat for Mo AND his fans! You're kickass, Marlee; which is why you are so well loved.
Kudos to you too Mr. Jackson for responding and putting Mo in his place.
still hypMOtized.
giftedgirl at 9:30PM on May 24th 2007
9. Dang it! I meant to say Mr. Jason. (I'm so embarrassed.) Proofreading is fundamental.
giftedgirl at 12:51AM on May 25th 2007
10. And this is why Ms. Matlin is not only one of the most gifted actresses out there, but one of the most down to Earth human beings around.
Thanks for sharing this with us, Mr. Jackson.
Sara at 12:08PM on May 25th 2007
11. Congratulations Mo, you got your wish. She posted.
Thats awesome. Lets see if anyone one else can get a Oscar winner/nominee to post. I bet not.
MrsMoRocca at 6:34PM on May 25th 2007
12. I wear 2 hearing aids, but some voice tones are difficult for me to hear, so I recently had to re-
peatedly ask the supermarket cashier what she was asking me. The very impatient woman behind me on the line then slapped her hand on the counter and angrily demand "Why do come in here if you can't hear?" I told her, "because my family gets hungry."
marie raisig at 7:29PM on May 26th 2007
13. I thought nothing of Ms. Matlin attending AI. The best dance partner I ever had was deaf. He could feel the vibrations in the floor. He was also an engineer and the most amazing man you would ever hope to meet and know.
kstme at 7:38PM on May 26th 2007
14. I'm also a hard of hearing person who wears two hearing aids. I go to many concerts. I have taken my deaf sister-in-law to some as well. She loves going to concerts. She can feel the vibrations. Just because you are deaf doesn't mean you don't enjoy music. Mo got it right when she said that discrimination, lack of understanding, and inequality are the things that tick us off. Some people are just ignorant.
Donna at 8:14AM on May 27th 2007
15. I just wanted to add that people who are hearing impaired make the best workers. They are extremely focused and appreciative for their job that they do well and without time wasted chit chatting.
I also want to add something pertaining to overweight American Idol contestents. Every person on this earth strives to do something great and singing is a path for some. For Mo, it is writing and one day he might become great at it. Keep on keeping on Mo, you can do it!
librasoul7 at 3:53PM on May 27th 2007