The firestorm generated by my post and poll regarding Oscar-winning actress Marlee Matlin's attendance at Tuesday night's American Idol has culminated with an insightful and inspiring message from none other than Marlee herself. It all started with a message from her interpreter, Jack Jason.
Here's what he wrote:
Mo. Try and figure this out. Marlee is deaf but her kids are not and they're fans. She didn't want her 11 year old daughter going to the show unaccompanied. Plus, Marlee is deaf not blind. Half the show is about the spectacle and why would a person who is a fan of this kind of stuff want something like deafness get in her way? If that were the case, she would've never entered acting and won an Academy Award because she's "handicapped." Thank goodness comments, even jokingly, like the ones you made don't bother her. But you know what bothers me? Comments like the one you made might come across to people who might have never met a deaf person as fact and just onfirm the misconception that all deaf people do is sit in silence and close themselves off from the world; far from it.
And I'm speaking as a person who knows Marlee well; I'm the interpreter guy, Jack, who's worked with her for 21 years and my parents are deaf too.
Have a good one.
Jack Jason
Then I wrote:
First off, Jack, I thank you for taking the time to write. In fact I don't know any deaf people. And all the comments, including yours, have filled me in on how much I don't know.
Like too many people, I'm afraid, I've assumed that "deaf" means that someone cannot hear at all. Certainly I'd heard of people being "partially deaf," but I've always defaulted to the assumption that a deaf person can't hear at all.
But even if someone cannot hear at all, that person can still appreciate the spectacle that is American Idol. Marlee Matlin is obviously a person of the world - a rightly acclaimed actress, brilliant in Children of a Lesser God, Picket Fences, The West Wing and so many other films and TV shows. And a mother who wanted to take her 11 year old to the Kodak Center for a fun night out.
As for the commenters who've labeled me the deaf community's Imus, they're overreacting. If what people want is an apology, I'll grant one under only one condition: that I get to deliver to Marlee in person. (I'm a huge fan!)
Oh, and Jack, if you can get Marlee to comment on my blog, I'll flip. None of the other aol bloggers have gotten comments from even Oscar nominees.
And then came Comment #1 ... from Marlee Matlin. See below.
Reader Comments ( Page 2 of 2)
16. Oh shoot, I always frigging missed Marlee Matlin!!
Tsk. I guess I deserved that. :D
I got to this page from MishkaZena's blog..
Ah, I'll copy and paste what I said over there:
:)
You go, Marlee!!
I wonder if she’s a Pearl Jam fan? Come on, you know I had to ask! :D
I’d love to rock out with her at one of the shows. :D And other deafies!!
I hate to be the only deaf PJ fan at a concert. :(
This coming from one of her not-so-cool bashing fans in the past. I had personal issues that I did not take into consideration until much later in life.
I have gained so much respect for her and I think I really deserve a slap in the face from her as a part of her therapy from some personal attacks in the deaf community over the course of years!
I now completely understand where she’s coming from!
I am still so mad for missing her when she was here for the Extreme Home Makeover for a deaf family here in Michigan… that day I just didn’t feel like driving for 45-1 hour!!
And there was Marlee Matlin!!
One of these days, I’ll meet her and apologize to her in person! :)
I know she probably doesn’t care, but it sure as hell would make me feel better!
:D
Rock on, Marlee!!!
Yup, I'm deaf and a music lover, too!!!
Maybe one of these days you'll get to slap my face, Marlee... :)
\m/ Keep rocking in the free world! \m/ ~ Neil Young
IamMine at 10:34AM on May 29th 2007
17. Kudos to Marlee for responding to your blog.
Mo, I'm profoundly deaf. I grew up with hearing family and I did not learn American Sign Language until I went to college. Now I can say I'm fluent in ASL and I use it to communicate rather than speak. I wear hearing aids. I also own 2 iPods. I love listening to all kinds of music. My favorites are Barbra Streisand (her first 2 decades), Bette Midler, Judy Garland, Roberta Flack, kd lang, and many others.
Deaf doesn't mean you can't hear, period. I may have profound loss but with the aid of hearing aids, I'm able to hear and make out the sounds. It takes practice to listen to one's song with a paper with lyrics on it.
Thanks for opening your mind and learn more about our Deaf culture. you're a cool guy. Definitely not Imus. :)
Mikey at 2:00PM on May 29th 2007
18. You go, MM! To further reinforce the meme, I used to work in a movie theatre in Los Angeles. Once Stevie Wonder, avec entourage, showed up to see DUNE. I wondered aloud to my box office person why he'd bother, and she pointed out, "he likes Dolby." Dune - crappy movie, great mix.
Daniel K at 4:33PM on May 29th 2007
19. Oh why did Mo Rocca say and make such an ignorant blog? I'm deaf but wear hearing aids and I watch American Idol, Jordin and Melinda were my favorites because I can hear them sing beautifully.
So please vote:
Why did MO ROCCA make an ignorant blog?
a. He wanted milk and cookies with Marlee
b. He did not understand what deaf is and is dumb.
c. He's just a jerk
d. He's Marlee's limo driver and misunderstood her
conversation in sign language.
Brian at 7:28PM on May 29th 2007
20. First off, I want to thank everyone for their comments. That of course includes Jack and the incomparable Marlee.
Thanks also to Sara, giftedgirl, Donna and MrsMoRocca for chiming in.
Marie Raisig, reading about your encounter in the supermarket made me gasp. That woman must have been stunned by your brilliant response. Good for you.
kstme, I'm intrigued. What ever happened to the engineer/dance partner?
librasoul07, interesting point about deaf workers being focused.
IamMine, I will ask Marlee if she's a Pearl Jam fan when I meet her. I will also ask her to slap me across the face for you, if you really want that.
Mikey, you and I share almost identical music tastes - though I was a bit distressed by Bette Midler on the last AI episode. (I also love Loretta Lynn.) I imagine that deaf music lovers have a special appreciation for lyrics.
Daniel K., great story about Dune and Stevie Wonder. I'll refrain from posting any poll about blind people and why they go to movies.
Finally, Brian, I'm flawed in many many ways. But I'm actually not a jerk. (I'm more annoying than jerky.)
Mo Rocca at 2:26PM on May 31st 2007
21. I am hearing, but am slowly moving closer and closer to being hard of hearing. I have several d/Deaf friends, and have a passing knowledge of sign language.
I once went to a wedding, and one of my deaf friends was there, as well. She is profoundly deaf, and can't really hear much at all. The music was PUMPING, and she asked me "are they playing DISCO?". She could tell the genre of the music by the vibrations of the floor.
Yup. Deafness comes in all sorts of variations. Just like skin tones, eye colors, etc.
I have always loved Marlee Matlin as an actress and respected her work, and now I respect her as a person even more by her response. Classy lady. (Her interpreter's no slouch, either.)
AuntLynnie at 2:42PM on May 31st 2007
22. *grins*
Make sure there is a picture taken when she slaps your face for me!!!
Then YOU can autograph it for me! :)
Oh, yes and please ask her if she's a PJ fan! ;)
Do come back and tell your stories!!
IamMine at 12:24PM on Jun 2nd 2007
23. I discovered manual alphabet (and Braille)when i was seven in a book about someone with very much the spirit of Marlee Matlin (not intending to insult her) by the name of Helen Keller. 15 years later, I managed to find a Sign Language class, and fulfilled a dream to learn some (any) of that amazing language.
The comment I've always gotten after mentioning I want to learn American Sign Language is "gee, do you know someone who's deaf?" After the first few times, I'd respond by asking if they knew any other languages. (eg. "yes, french") to which i'd reply, "gee, do you know someone who's french?" The embarrassed look says more than any words.
In 2005, my former boss, a breeder of Great Danes, informed me that he had rescued a 4 month old deaf female from another breeder. He offered her to me and gave me time to think about adopting another kid. I took her home at the end of the week.
Evony now understands 14 words of American Sign Language. Discrimination, you say? Try "she (he, it) is deaf and untrainable". (my answer, "so how much sign language do YOU know?") I have others who come out with "oh, poor thing". Sure. I left Evony with my sister for four days (healing from spaying). My sister, another animal lover, called me to ask "want your dog...please?" Most don't realize that Evony is NOT a "handicapped dog", but a healthy, happy puppy (now adult) who simply can't hear. She adores man and beast alike, loves potato chips (preferably dill pickle flavor) and can see things two blocks away (bugs, leaf blowing) that would make a hawk hide it's face in shame. Her curiousity for her surroundings is unequalled and she misses nothing.
If this is "handicapped", I just wish it was contagious!
Welcome to Canada, Marlee.
*Steps off his soapbox.*
Patrick at 1:31AM on Jul 16th 2007
24. Hey Mo, nice bloggy! I got here through IMDb on Marlee Matlins board, and you were linked! Anyway! Im also deaf, I wear 2 bilateral hearing aids, i depend heavely on lipreading, I sign on the occasion, but I prefer to speak, and I also have friends, like you who have misconceptions about deaf individuals, but I dont take it to heart, I too make a laugh out of it, if someone sais, 'Oh lette im sorry I didnt mean it like that' I just reply, 'ah, dont worry I dont hear the Half of it!!' :) Life is not ment to be taken seriously, but do choose your words carefully and all will be well!
Lette at 8:25AM on Aug 9th 2007
25. HI MO
I too am here from imdb like Lette.
U r cool. I saw u on Leno.
U certainly r no Imus. So many wonder y a deaf lady is @ AI, the movies, concerts, etc.
I dont c any credits 4 u being on Madtv but I coulda sworn u were on it.
Marlee ROX.
lilkunta at 2:29AM on Nov 21st 2007