I am thrilled by the outpouring in response to my article on gnarly feet and flip-flops. Obviously this topic has been ignored for far too long by the MSM.
Food and Flip-flops was a big issue with "Jack Faxx" and "E" and "Sandy." This from "Sandy":
"Recently, I was in a resturant enjoying my meal when a man wearing flip-flops was seated at the table next to mine. His feet looked wet and sweaty, and needless to say, I couldn't eat another bite of my dinner, I was just too grossed out."
"T. Miles" conjured a disturbing image that every parent should be alerted to:
"Yeah I just hate the toes that throw up gang signs and other offensive gestures. I live in NYC and usually the men with the toes that looked like they have been through a meat grinder, are usually the most flirtatious. Ewww!"
Toes through meat grinders is grisly enough, but exposed toes used for gang recruitment is a new front in organized crime. Neighborhood Watch programs should take notice and start looking at feet. Thanks for the heads up.
Here's a particularly poignant plea from "Jack":
"I do not have flip-flop feet and I've learned to accept it and spare myself the public humiliation. My problem is not my nails just my toes. My second and third toe on both feet are much longer than my big toe. It just looks hideous. All of my piggies are ugly.. My big toes are short and extra wide. The rest are long slender and crooked. There is no synch. They all look like toes from different feet. Not working together as a unit. I've seen perfect feet where the big toe really is the big toe and the rest fall in perfect alignment. I'm so jealous. Those people don't know how lucky they are ... The rest of me is not so bad but I've been cursed with ugly feet."
Jack, I can tell you're a thoughtful person. My guess is that on the inside, where it really counts, you've got nice feet. But even on the outside, there's something to be said for your freak-show feet. The image of "toes from different feet" is a powerful political statement in our multicultural America. Your feet, Jack, are a gorgeous mosaic, a rainbow coalition. (Of course it would be a little unnerving if your toes were all different colors. That's not the case, is it?)
"Sharon Evensen" writes:
"Feet. Yikes! For years I have covered them. They are trimmed and soft and cared for. It's just that they are big. I inherited them from my mother (who never had a problem with her own large feet). I am of a small stature (5'2") and weigh 125 pounds. My feet are a size 9 and they look like the length of my calves :( I was never comfortable with them. They should be a 7 or even 8, but not this 9. I have the Teva's, a beautiful leather sandal that I never wear. Remember "Man Hands" on Seinfeld? These are "Man Feet". Sorry, it's just always been embarassing..."
Sharon, I won't ask if you need to wear flippers when you go snorkeling. But I will say that your sense of humor more than compensates for your Sasquatch-sized feet. And since they are well groomed, why not show them off? And take heart, Jackie Kennedy had gigantic feet.
"Mark de Loatch" makes a startling proposition:
"Men's feet are FUGLY! Mine are too so I go with my usual summer look; athletic socks and soccer slides. They are the most comfortable and it keeps the unsightly feet out of public comsumption. I think all men should wear this combo when out in public ... I know it makes a lot of fashionistas [and a lot of white women] blanch, but I love socks with sandals!"
Go ahead, everyone, weigh in. And at least give Mark credit for admitting he wears sandals and socks. (Bold, unless of course he's a German tourist in Florida. Sandals and socks are part of the uniform in that case.) I am particularly interested in the reference to white women. Are black women more forgiving of men in sandals and socks?
The most provocative comment comes from "Tina":
"I wonder what Jesus' toe nails looked like. But anyway, all you men out there , if you want to get laid get well groomed! Put your best foot forward, not your turkey claws. Get a pedicure!"
Jesus' toenails is a subject fairly unexplored until now. (A quick google search on "Jesus' toenails" yielded little - mainly questions about the appropriateness of coloring the toenails of the baby Jesus in your creche.) The Jesus in the church I grew up in had unremarkable toenails, largely because he was fairly tan, the lighting was dim, and small features like toenails just blended in.
If anyone was familiar with Jesus' toenails, it was likely Mary Magdalene. She did after all wash his feet. The Gospels tell us little more than that. Did Mary Magdalene bring along a nail care set and give his feet a quick trim? Perhaps. (I'm not well versed in the Apocryphal books which could very well offer clues.)
It's perfectly plausible that Mary Magdalene would offer these services. Once she stopped hooking for a living, she needed to make a decent living somehow. Simply washing feet offered little remuneration.
By the way, am I the only one that thinks "Jesus' Toenails" sounds like Carrie Underwood's next hit song?
And finally, KT has a special complaint:
"Please consider this aspect! There is a specific brand of people for whom their body is their instrument, and in perfecting their movements and body, they also destroy their feet! Dancers everywhere (ballerinas specifically) are sobbing heart breakingly over your blog and the responses it has garnered. Our feet are the most mangled of all, and the calluses that reside upon them are essential when we go "en pointe". The gnarly feet of a dancer also ache when constrained in closed toed shoes. It should be our decision whether or not to wear flip flops, not that of people who have never endured the pain of countless blisters, and, heaven forbid, bunions. Have some sense of decency, after all, while you critisize, a dancer somewhere is dreaming of no longer constraining her feet, awaiting the day that "imperfections" can be accepted as reality, not as traits to be scorned and ashamed of."
KT, you've given us all much to think about. I'm all for an affirmative action-style program that allows dancers to wear flip-flops. However this would be a program that should not be abused: Really lousy dancers should have to wear regular shoes.
Mo Rocca has appeared on a bunch of shows, including 'The Daily Show,' 'I Love the 80s,'...
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Gnarly Feet and Flip-Flops: Readers Respond
Posted Jul 2nd 2007 10:06AM by Mo Rocca
Filed under: Mo Wants To Know, Jesus, Mo Rocca, Feet
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Reader Comments ( Page 1 of 2)
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ebzkbznxvc at 10:29AM on Jan 24th 2009
2. Another fun way to mock Jesus and offend Christians. What a hoot! How funny. How come no one ever offends Jews by making rude comments about Their virgin saint - Anne Frank? Oh...now that would be horrible and anti-Semitic...but Christians just have to take insults on the chin and ask for more? Sarah Silverman is foul mouthed whore and Rocca is pandering to people like her by making degrading comments about Jesus that have nothing to do with wearing flip flopps. Why not talk about Moses' toenails or King David's?
John at 5:31PM on Jul 1st 2007
3. Better gnarly feet than socks! (And to John above, I'm sorry that those anger management classes are apparently going so poorly -- maybe consuming a six pack was the better treatment after all.)
richter at 5:47PM on Jul 1st 2007
4. John:
My best guess is that Moses had very calloused feet from crossing the Sinai peninsula. Of course early in his life, he was raised by Egyptian royalty. Presumably his feet were well cared for then.
King David most certainly had well groomed toenails. Even before he was King, with all the pampering that entails, there's this passage from First Samuel describing David, son of Jesse, to whom God sent his prophet Samuel:
"He was ruddy, and fine in appearance with handsome features. And the Lord said [to Samuel], 'Anoint him; for this is he.'"
(We'll skip all mentions of Goliath's toenails. Ewwww.)
As for Anne Frank's feet, you're welcome to comb through her diary and report back!
Mo Rocca at 5:58PM on Jul 1st 2007
5. Let's calm down, Mo Rocca has a fine Jesuit-based secondary education coupled with a Harvard degree. (who knows what they do there) Anyway, yet again we're debating another wacky topic which bewilders and amuses me.
Today's modern perspective of Jesus depicts him generally as a bearded white man with six pack abs, charming smile, and a boyish face that nobody in the right mind would trade in for thirty pieces of silver. His feet are obviously going to be holy in every sense of the word as well.
But back to the heart of this topic, the human foot is perhaps one of the most amazing parts of our anatomy. The pressure and burden of carrying weight on our metatarsals everyday isn't an easy job to do. Thus, anybody's feet are going to start decaying in some shape or form after 20 or more years of walking and running about. Flip flops in my opinion aren't truly fun to walk around in. They are refreshing in the summer weather but never seem to provide the comfort I truly desire. For the most part, people in my neck of the woods have decent feet, decent enough to permit the wearing of flip flops. If one poor soul does have some truly unattractive feet, he is shunned and sent to the caves where he or she must wait until the summer season ends, or finds a medication to cure the problem.
We are Americans. Of course some of us are going to have not so pleasant feet. That’s why we have Dr. Scholl’s footwear and John Madden to tell us about athlete’s foot in delightful commercials. But what would Jesus do? Well, I personally think he had bigger issues to worry about then what his ancient sandals were doing to his toes. Heck, look at what the Romans wore, http://www.northampton.gov.uk/images/RomanShoes.jpgThose things had to be horribly painful on the ancient metatarsal.
Let’s just be thankful we have flip flops and not those strap-on death sandals.
Your friend, Blayze ‘Shaggy’ O’Brien from the Bee
bobrien at 6:05PM on Jul 1st 2007
6. Read one comment and I became terribly confused on how Christianity became offended by toenails.
Anyways, toes, I wear hiking sandals as many months a year as I can, I've never had a pedicure, and I almost never paint my nails. I have gorgeous feet. Cute, fit, and they have their own tan lines. I don't need heels and I won't wear socks until theirs snow on the ground. But I appreciate the people who keep their fungus-filled toes away from mine and respect national health by wearing closed toed shoes.
Leilani at 7:53PM on Jul 1st 2007
7. This Toe study has profoundly significant implications if carried through to its fullest realization, a pursuit which is well underway judging by these scholarly single-minded contributors hammer-toeing it out here now. Darwin would gasp at the huge stride it makes in the otherwise long, slow march of evolution. This group's deep consideration of such a vain idea as toes and restaurant appetite-spoiling and getting laid or not depending on toe appearance is a great big, forum-forged grappling hook that has already snatched that bunch out of the running for survival of the fittest. Poof!
Stella at 10:13PM on Jul 1st 2007
8. Personally, I've felt one should what they have or what's comfortable. But I did once see a lady with flip flops that really shouldn't wear them. Her ten toes all had tuffs of hair on the dorsal area, below the nails. ewwwwwwww.
ann
Ann at 11:19PM on Jul 1st 2007
9. Mo, I can't speak for all black women, but HELL NO! Sock's and sandals...Ewwwww. I have always thought feet should never been seen. I have a nephew who is almost 2. He's going to have weird feet. A couple of his toes look like they were stuck on just before he was born. They're just a little out of synch with the rest of his toes. He's got cute feet now, because he's a baby, but soon enough...they're going to be bad!
Oreo at 11:26PM on Jul 1st 2007
10. Okay, Mo, check your facts. Mary Magdalene was not a hooker.
Bet her feet were pretty, though.
Kaycie at 11:09PM on Jul 1st 2007
11. I think flip flops are very cute and pretty when a woman is wearing them and she has painted toe nails and "okay" looking feet but other than that i think people should stick with shoes or those leather sandals that have rubber soles that a lot of guys wear socks with.....stay away from flip flops when ur in a sport or have athletes foot....gross!!!
iloveflipflops at 1:12AM on Jul 2nd 2007
12. To "Oreo," whose comment is number 9 above:
Like you, I cannot speak for all black women -- especially because I am neither black nor a woman. And yet I share your attitude towards sandals and socks. Perhaps on such a common understanding of the very basics of what is right and what is wrong we will all some day live together as brothers and sisters. That certainly is my hope.
richter at 1:04AM on Jul 2nd 2007
13. NO! No gnarly feet. EVER!!!!
This flip-flop and open toed shoe obsessed society needs to get a grip and realize that MOST people should NOT wear these God awful things.
PLEASE!
Keep your busted, gnarly, smelly, dirty, knotted toes and calloused, bunion feet in a sock and a shoe or sneaker.
NO ONE wants to see them! Really!
A great rule of thumb to go by is this....if they are hurting you in a regular old shoe for one reason or another.....that means they are probably really fu*ked up. Get it. That also means they are probably ugly and offensive to the rest of society.
We do not want to see your long ugly toes just because they cannot fit into a shoe.
Another good rule to follow is this:
Men should absolutely NEVER wear open toed shoes except MAYBE on a beach. It is foul! Men just have ugly feet by default. That especially includes the horrendous ADIDAS slip on thing with socks. What the Hell are you thinking? Buy a sneaker. Cheapo!
However, if you are a girl (No fat girl stump feet or hairy toes, by the way) and you have well cared for, painted, symmetrical toes and proportional feet to your size....By all means go ahead.
Otherwise, NO!!!!
The Dr. at 1:24AM on Jul 2nd 2007
14. You're right John. Except for what Mo wrote right now, you'll very rarely hear anything (or read) anything that might offend Jews. If you do, you're an anti-semite, if you do it to Christians however, you're just exercising your right to "free speech".
amanda at 1:26AM on Jul 2nd 2007
15. This goes out to all the ladies who have French Tips on their toes. Flip flops or sandals of any kind, this practice should be outlawed. Think about it, you are PAYING someone to make it look like you don't clip your toenails. Sorry, but unclipped toenails are repulsive as well as unhygenic. Get with the program, clip your nails damn it and spend your money on something more productive.
Billy at 1:38AM on Jul 2nd 2007