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ABU GROSS: Miss New Jersey Photos Revealed

Posted Jul 12th 2007 8:49AM by Mo Rocca
Filed under: Pop Culture, Mo Rocca, Miss New Jersey

Actually the photos, as must of us suspected, are a huge letdown. Mostly Miss New Jersey Amy Polumbo partying with her friends. (Watch the whole Today Show disclosure here.)

The most striking trend among the photos: Amy's fixation with her own breasts. In one photo, her boyfriend is biting her left breast. ("He's being silly and immature but he's also very intelligent," she says.) In another photo her best friend from drama club grabs her breast (same breast). In the last of the Tata Triptych, she holds two tiny pumpkins up against her breasts. This one is actually kind of arty. The colors are gorgeous and the composition is quite nice. While Amy's not exactly busting out (the point of the photo), the actual picture is. It really jumps out at you.



The mammary motif is interrupted by a startling photo of Amy in a limo, her legs spread, pointing her butthole right at camera. Of course she's wearing jeans so it's not a big deal. This could be paired with the photo of her smacking her friend's ass with what looks like a cutting board. (Remind me not to accept chopped vegetables from Miss New Jersey!)

The most incriminating, though, is the photo of her boyfriend in black spandex with a green stripe across his torso. He's shockingly bloated, a long way from the stud who bit his girlfriend's boob in the earlier photo. (Amy, be warned: the man we see here would not stop short of eating both your breasts if given the chance.) This photo serves as a wake-up call to friends and family who need to ask why his weight is fluctuating so dangerously. Is it the pressure of dating a pageant girl? Is it the New Jersey diet? Or does spandex make you look chunky? This is the real scandal here.

There was some poignancy to Miss New Jersey's appearance. In the interview's most moving moment, Amy pleaded with Matt Lauer and, by extension, New Jersey pageant officials: "I am not a robot. I am a human being," she said, invoking the unforgettable cry of the deformed John Merrick in David Lynch's Elephant Man. "I'm also a theater major," she added, for good measure.

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