At the end of this post is a political poll question. But first, a recap on the excellent comments. I was particularly intrigued by the number of women who said they were relieved that their husbands sit down. Some only came to this realization belatedly:
14. My first husband always sat down and I saw it as effeminate. My present husband and two sons do not, and how I wish that they did!!! :)
Sit Down! at 1:41PM on Jul 13th 2007
Of course a few women are strict traditionalists:
25. I just have to say that my ex used to pee sitting down the majority of the time he went and it has to be the biggest turn off ever. If it's laziness, if it's just because he wants to.....either way, he's a dude. There's a reason there are urinals and there's a reason there are stalls. Sorry.
jill at 3:47PM on Jul 13th 2007
This comment from a female traditionalist struck me as a tad neurotic:
52. I am a woman who would MUCH rather that a man's rod is kept OUT of the bowl. I shudder at the thought of coming into contact with a rod that has brushed up against the inside of a toilet bowl, or been dipped in dirty water. UGH! --- Stand up and be [clean] men!
s at 11:47AM on Jul 14th 2007
Of course the woman above could be married to a porn star, so I won't judge. Or she might very well be married to this man with a very inspiring story:
64. I'm 58 and sometimes I wake up with a boner so hard I'd hit the ceiling. The only thing I can do is force that mother down while sitting on the toilet.
JT at 6:31PM on Jul 14th 2007
Some brave men stepped forward to tell their harrowing stories of how they learned to sit:
31. Oh hell yeah, I sit. I'm blind as can be without my glasses, and when I get up at night, I sit so I don't miss, cause I hate cleaning up messes. Besides when I was a kid and I forgot to put the seat down one night, my mother damn near beat the crap out of me when she fel into the toilet in the dark. I learned my lesson that night. Sit and you have nothing to worry about.
Zurath at 6:51PM on Jul 13th 2007
Still other men had heartwarming stories of great fortune that came from peeing like a lady:
32. This is a confession from a former "Serial Splasher." Learning to pee like a lady saved my marriage and probably my life. I used to pee like a Barbarian. I'd shake it as often as I liked and wherever I desired. I had pee stains on the ceiling. One time, I forgot to close the door and my wife thought I was pleasuring myself. She felt guilty and gave me sex in ways I never thought she could. I couldn't walk for two days.
Cecil Jones at 6:53PM on Jul 13th 2007
One of the revelations for me - and you can expect a video piece on this soon - is the number of women who don't sit!
41. Good Golly Molly...I must admit...I do pee standing up if I am in a public restroom, especially if it does not have seat protectors. I usually have a small can of Lysol Disinfectant in my purse also. Just thought I would shre this. And when I potty trained my so, I taught him to sit backwards on the toilet...was the easiest way to teach him.
Lizzie at 10:34PM on Jul 13th 2007
This is not to suggest that all women condone their sisters who crouch:
60. To those women who sound very much like a race horse urinating when they strattle a toilet bowl, your stance is obvious, and can be seen (and heard) by those outside the stall. Those who do this in the handicapped bathroom stall truly need to be hung, or at the very least, forced to clean up the mess.
Those who pull this stunt in the local Wal-mart are in the same category -- you are all pigs.
Catherine at 3:50PM on Jul 14th 2007
Some men were skeptical of the sitters:
65. I'm seriously pissed off with my gender (no pun intended). Is it really that diffcult to pee standing up? It's not sharpshooting... also, if you start rebutting me about the force of urine and the splatter as it reaches the water, lower the water level in you loo.
Derrick at 6:46PM on Jul 14th 2007
Finally, a comment from a man who sees a dark portent in the whole discussion:
70. Just another example of the feminization of the male population of America, and no one dares care about it or you are a sexist. I don't give a rats rear end how you pee, I'll stand up thank you. My aim is fine. And you won't see any womens jewlery hanging from my earlobes. Uni-sex, uni-race, uni-religion. Whatever. Now you can all hate on me for not having a uni-opinion.
John at 11:13PM on Jul 14th 2007
THE REPUBLICAN PEEPEE CAUCUS
Reader Comments ( Page 1 of 2)
1. All of 'em
YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!
I'm voting for Jack Smackerson
http://www.fakebuddy.com/
Jackie at 6:25PM on Jul 16th 2007
2. Sam Brownback
Because it talks two hands to pray.
Plus it's a real buzzkill when precious minutes of the day, that could be spent judging others, are interrupted with your own shortcomings at hand.
SoSad at 6:56PM on Jul 16th 2007
3. This one is easy! It's obviously Mitt Romney. With 8 wives running around the house, you'd better be keeping that seat down!
Nole at 7:22PM on Jul 16th 2007
4. Tough question. Let's observe each candidate and decide.
Sam Brownback is pretty feisty and one of the younger Republican candidates. For fear of acting too old and perhaps an issue of pride, I say he's not one to be peeing like a lady. At least not anytime soon.
Rudy on the other hand is a grizzled old New Yorker. He's kind of old and we all know some old guys enjoy a bit of respite during urination. I'm going to say Rudy does pee like a lady but only on late nights.
From the way things are looking for John McCain, I doubt he's going to be able to afford a toilet with the way his campaign is going.
Ron Paul, while he does have some admirable goals like abolishing the IRS, I'm going to say that Ron Paul, being the very unusual man he is, pees like a lady.
Mitt Romney probably does but I'm sure the Mormon faith has something against it.
As for Freddy Thompson, I believe he wants to pee like a lady, but to show youth and dominance to his young wife, he stands.
Tommy Thompson does pee like a lady. No questions asked.
Democrat Candidates Next Time...
Your friend, Blayze "Shaggy" O'Brien from the Bee
bobrien at 7:53PM on Jul 16th 2007
5. They all do: with a throne of gold, who wouldn't sit down?
Dan at 8:19PM on Jul 16th 2007
6. McCain for sure. He needs time to think about how his campaign is right below him.
Andrew at 8:28PM on Jul 16th 2007
7. i agree, they all do it like girls (in general!) to make sure they get all the dems swimming in the bowl...
openminded at 8:47PM on Jul 16th 2007
8. oh, yeah! they do it like girls! that's to make sure they get all the dems swimming in the porcelain...
openminded at 8:51PM on Jul 16th 2007
9. I would imagine Rudy pees like a lady when he's dressed like Marilyn Monroe.
Geoffrey Rose at 9:56PM on Jul 16th 2007
10. Mo who? Who is the dork anyway? I see this twit on VH1 like his opinion matters....What is the world coming to when we look to lisping faggots for advice. God help us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dh at 9:42PM on Jul 16th 2007
11. Shaggy - You have OUTDONE yourself! This is a brilliant delineation of how the GOP candidates relieve themselves. Of course I'm wondering how you're so sure that Tommy Thompson pees like a lady.
I expect equal perspicacity when I conduct a Democratic Peepee Caucus poll.
dh- Great to hear from you. Thanks for your keen insight. One thing: I don't have a lisp. It's a sibilant "s". But no worries. You're awesome!
Mo Rocca at 9:42PM on Jul 16th 2007
12. You have to be kidding re: the "feminization" of higher learning. The U.S. has dozens of colleges (land grant) specially set up for the "useful arts" and billions has been spent on them since the 19th century (which you won't read from the never-insightful Paglia), as well as billions in research and development grants for fields like technology and medicine. Compared to the cash spent on the fine arts, it's a flood.
And Arabic men feel disempowered? What, compared to Arabic women?
ciocia at 9:46PM on Jul 16th 2007
13. They all do.
Zurath at 1:37PM on Jul 17th 2007
14. Most men have really bad aim and get a little beer in them at the 8"X14" oval is a really small target. Ok if you are a Naval Pilot you may be better at hitting a small moving target of a flight deck better then most. But, for most of us men forget it and except the fact you have terrible aim and give the wife or live in girl friend a break. Because, most likely they are the ones cleaning in and around (which will be at least a 2' kill zone around the bowl. I would bet that most of the men out there aiming to hit that small target are causing an enormous amount of collateral damage. I am sure if you look closely you would see lots of small yellow spots all over the front, back, and both sides of that oval target presented to us. So, my advice sit down relax and let that steady stream hit its target with pleanty of room to spare. The person cleaning this area will be very appreciative.
Good Aiming..
StandMan at 11:02PM on Jul 16th 2007
15. I think all of these candidates sit when the need arises. I appreciate it when my husband sits, particularly when he is unsure of his aim. I am left wondering if Hillary is a no-touch squatter. I wonder why women find this necessary unless they normally let themselves take a dip when they sit down. Either way is not my style!
genise at 12:49AM on Jul 17th 2007