First off I want to nominate writer/director Judd Apatow for Poet Laureate. I don't know who the current holder of that title is. But Apatow manages to say more in his movies and TV shows than, well, anyone else making movies and TV shows. He just has a way of putting life - funny, confusing, painful - on screen with near pitch perfect honesty. (That last sentence? What a cliche. Wouldn't end up in an Apatow movie.) And he's hopeful, buoyant. The anti-Neil Labute. I just returned from seeing Knocked Up and I loved it. A beautiful young woman named Alison gets really drunk at a bar celebrating her job promotion and sleeps with a nice pothead layabout named Ben. While there's some chemistry, it's fair to say that the hook-up would not have happened had Alison not been lit. So Ben gets laid - and the best-laid plans of Alison (an on-camera career and a family years away) and Ben (whose only plan in life seems to be having no plans) are thrown out the window. Alison is pregnant and she decides she's having the baby.
The only part that strained credulity just a wee bit for me - and it's a hugely refreshing story choice - is that Alison and Ben are able to rise above the influence of their parents. Ben's thrice-divorced father can offer little advice to Ben when he's pondering commitment to Alison. (At least Ben's dad is aware that he's a lousy model.) Alison's mother is pretty awful, breezily telling her daughter to "take care of it" when Alison is asking advice after she learns she's pregnant.
If you haven't seen the movie, you've probably guessed that there's a happy ending.
But I'm wondering what happens down the road. Will they stay together? I couldn't help but think of Ruth Graham, wife of Billy Graham. After she died last month ABC replayed an interview with her in which she quoted a Chinese writer: "In the West, marriage starts at a boil and gradually cools off. In the East, it starts cool and gradually reaches a boil. And there's something to be said for that."
Ben and Alison got together pretty much by accident. They're bound by commitment to a child and, yes, love for each other. But they didn't start with the fiery passion that most of us idealize.
What do you think? Will they still be together in 30 years?
Reader Comments ( Page 1 of 3)
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xpdbqwgjkn at 10:34AM on Jan 24th 2009
2. THEY WON'T BE TOGETHER 3 DAYS.
JORDONA at 7:36PM on Jul 15th 2007
3.
I have a friend who found herself in similar straits---floothered fling led to fetus---and they both made the rather mature decision to spend the pregnancy getting to know each other. They reasoned that even if they didn't end up as soul mates, they were partners in making sure this person they were making left a positive print on the world. Long story short---it's five years later, they're deliriously happy and the baby who brought them together now has a little sister.
Doesn't work like this for everyone, but it can work.
slackferno at 5:59PM on Jul 15th 2007
4. aside from the fact that virtually noone is together in 3o years. lets examine the current case. first i do not believe that alison or ben can separate their fellings from the baby and the situation the find themselves in. from the love they think the have, without the baby i say no way would they take a second look. also been has changed who he is for allison and is moving away from his previous life and his best friendlieve that changes that happen as a result of external circumstances may not last. ben may resent what he gave up and later resent allison. most people can make permanent change when it comes from intrinsic motivation . that change is a long process and leads to permant change. ANSWER-NO
marsha beckerman at 6:15PM on Jul 15th 2007
5. I haven't seen the movie yet, but I've heard great things. From what I hear, its a lot like my own life, minus either of us having lousy parents or having big t.v. aspirations for the future...But I completely agree with the late Mrs. Graham on that one.
My wife and I married last year after our daughter's 1st birthday, the main reasons being that we were both struggling to make ends meet on either end, we lived rather far apart, and all while trying to raise a child 'together'.
I'll admit, she got on my nerves, and I did not even want to move in with her, let alone get married. When we did marry, I went in with the mentality that this was just something we needed to do to make life somewhat easier until our daughter was older, etc. But, now, as I've been ' 'forced' ' to get to know this woman who bore my child, I find liking her, maybe even loving her somewhat, not romantically really, in general I have just complicated feelings about us and our situation.
Its definitly not what I expected how life would turn out, but at the same time, I'm quite happy. Being a dad is great, life is settling down a tad, its lovely.
Serly at 7:50PM on Jul 15th 2007
6. ' They reasoned that even if they didn't end up as soul mates, they were partners in making sure this person they were making left a positive print on the world.'
Slackferno, you pretty much hit what I was trying to say in one sentence. That's basically why we married [civil marriage only, no ceremony (as of yet)]. If we're to stay a married couple after our daughter's older, then that's great, if not that's fine too, but I know that, now, my kid's life is going to be the highest priority in both our lives.
Serly at 8:00PM on Jul 15th 2007
7. I hope this doesn't sound cynical, but with the divorce rate the way it is, I don't see a future for Alison and Ben. Once reality bites (shout out to Helen Childress and Ben Stiller), it's over for those two.
Sorry I snapped on your earlier post, Mo.
giftedgirl at 7:36PM on Jul 15th 2007
8. The only divorce in any generations of my family was from a cousin who got married because he 'knocked up' someone. So good luck but I say no. Children are more likely to break a relationship than fix it.
Omega_leaf at 7:55PM on Jul 15th 2007
9. Divorce, despite how wholesome the situation may be, divorce will always prevail. It's just a part of human nature like puberty or a mid-life crisis.
Your friend, Blayze 'Shaggy' O'Brien from the Bee
bobrien at 10:42PM on Jul 15th 2007
10. I haven't seent he movie but I know divorce rates and the people of my generation. Gen X'rs and younger are selfish. We like things now and we like it without effort. And being selfish kills marriages.
The answer isn't a straight yes or no it's a very definite MAYBE. If they can comprimise, if they can put someone else first, if they can become involved and itnerested in each others lives than they might make it. Outside pressures, strain at work, mental illness, physical illness, and tragedy can all adversley affect a relationship but in the movie the characters prove they can rise above petty self-concerns and put another persons (in this case the infants) needs first and make intelligent decisions.
I give someone in this relationship a 60% chance of successes. I'm willing to raise it 2% every year past five they stay married and keep working at it.
Relationships aren't made overnight and don't die overnight. If you want to be happily married thirty years from now date like you did before the vows were said, flirt with each other, keep yourself healthy, and have interests both together and apart. And don't be selfish!
Leilani at 10:42PM on Jul 15th 2007
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Btw, do you wear boxers or briefs? Thanks :-)
mikaela at 2:01AM on Jul 16th 2007
12. That's a tough question.
In terms of string theory, that depends on whether there's only one future, or infinite possible futures in an N-dimensional probability space. But does string theory apply to fictional characters? Say, for example, if Sarah Conner had carved "No fat" instead of "No fate" into the picnic table, would she be predestined to remain thin? And, is it possible that a Terminator from the James Cameron fictional reality might go back in time to the Judd Apatow fictional reality and kill Ben before he ever met Alison?
It's a stumper, all right.
Marty Fugate at 4:16AM on Jul 16th 2007
13. there should be some sort of "spell check" on this site - I can't read half of the comments - they're UNREADABLE!
zsazsa at 10:06AM on Jul 16th 2007
14. Getting pregnant as the result of a one-night stand or within the confines of a new relationship is bound to cause some tension, but I'd like to remind you all that there are people in this world who have been married for 30, 40, 50, and even 60 years! Yes, love and romance are horribly distorted in movies and set up unreasonable expectations as a result, but it is possible to find someone who still makes you feel like you're 17 when you're 57 or still makes the effort to set some time aside for romance despite the pressures of work and family.
Everyone has a job and a multitude of responsibilities and anxieties to contend with. I'm not sure how those realities are supposed to prohibit individuals from finding spouses and life-long partners. Love, respect, and a healthy relationship are possible if both people are willing and actually put forth the effort.
And kudos to people who don't rush into marriage just because a baby is on the way. Marriage is a sacred institution (it's a blessed sacrament like communion or baptism in Roman Catholicism), and entering because you're having a baby and you want to make sure the father of the child won't run of is not only a perversion of the institution, but doesn't make any guarantees. Men abandon their wives and children all the time.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is go by your own experience. I do hope all of you find love with good people (I better be invited to your wedding with Mo, giftedgirl!), and if you want children, I hope you're successful in that department too. Just realize that having children is a full-time, non-paying career. It's an awesome career, but I'm the type that likes to give my beautiful nephew back when the weekend comes to an end!
Marta R. at 12:03PM on Jul 16th 2007
15. They wont be together once the cameras stop rolling.
Because they arent real.
Lets ask this question of real people, like that newlywed Jewish couple down the street from you. Will they be together in 30 years? Or will he kill and eat his bride?
Is that even kosher?
Action Figure at 1:03PM on Jul 16th 2007