Bob Allen is a Republican State Representative from Florida. He was the co-chair of John McCain's Florida campaign. He is the author of a bill proposed in the last legislative session to strengthen Florida's laws against public sex, lewdness and indecency. And he is stridently anti-gay rights.So, of course, you see where this is going. He recently got caught offering an undercover police officer $20 to blow him in a public bathroom. Don't get this wrong, he wasn't receiving the oral sex, he was giving it. And paying $20 on top. If you saw him, you'd know why.
But this isn't even where the story gets good.
He was arrested last month, but his excuse for why he did it just got released. Apparently, he told officers that the undercover cop was a "pretty stocky black guy" and there were a lot of other black guys around, so he feared for his life. He didn't want to become a "statistic," so he offered to shine the dude's knob -- and give him $20 on top -- to be able to escape his blackness without harm.
If this version of events were true -- which it most decidedly is not -- it would make Bob Allen an even worse guy.
Under the Scenario Number 1 where he's a Republican legislator caught soliciting a public sex act with another man, he's just an embarrassed, gay hypocrite. It's bad and your career is probably over, but you can live with it. There's nothing wrong with the gay part (and I don't even really care about the public sex part; those of you who haven't fooled around with your wife or girlfriend somewhere in public for a thrill cast the first stone). Once he got past the ridiculous hypocrisy and embarrassment, he probably would have felt liberated. A possible net positive, if you're a true optimist.
But under Scenario Number 2, where we believe Bob Allen's tall tale, Allen is a racist and a coward who would offer up $20 and his mouth for anyone who looks even the slightest bit intimidating or "stocky."
Wow, that's really bad. If you're not gay and you fall down on your knees and offer money to service another man because you are frightened, you are about the worst coward in the history of mankind. I've never heard something so embarrassing in my life.
Man, did he blow it with this lie?!
This has got to win a prize for the worst excuse ever. "Honey, I really didn't sleep with your best friend, I slept with your sister" comes in a distant second. Very, very distant second. Have you ever heard a worse excuse in your life? Or a more embarrassing story? Or a worse hypocrite? It's hard to top Bob Allen. Unless you're a stocky guy who looks slightly intimidating. Then, it's awfully easy to top Allen.
Watch The Young Turks Here
Reader Comments ( Page 1 of 2)
1. yeah, best way to disarm an intimidating black man is to suggest he'd be open to gay sex....yup
jimminy at 7:51AM on Aug 8th 2007
2. THE WORSE EXCUSE EVER? IT'S HARD TO TOP " I NEVER HAD SEX WITH THAT WOMAN". THEN AGAIN IT COULD BE: "I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT DOGS FIGHTING. IT WAS MY RELATIVES AND FRIENDS WHO WERE LIVING ON MY PROPERTY"
Plinkoman at 6:22PM on Aug 7th 2007
3. It's amazing that guys like Bob Allen and Mark Foley got elected to office. Or Barney Frank, for that matter. They all broke the law to fulfill their personal urges. It goes to show that voters need to look a little deeper at the candidates.
Fred at 6:35PM on Aug 7th 2007
4. How disgusting, eck, poo, yuck, spit, puck
fran at 9:42AM on Aug 8th 2007
5. Cenk,
That's a HORRIBLE excuse! Oy!
Oh and "Man, did he blow it with this lie?!" *LMAO* ... apparently so!!
Miranda at 11:23PM on Aug 7th 2007
6. Love "Fred's" comment about Barney Frank having broken the law. Perhaps he should present us with facts, like when, where and how, instead of "winging it". As far as Allen goes, one might ask when it was that he suddenly lost his "heterosexuality" and went "homosexual." Perhaps, now that he is out of that situation, he can undergo the same treatment as did Ted Haggard, and get each bone certified as being 100% heterosexual. He might call Ted and find out more about the certification process.
Robert I. Laitres at 9:05PM on Aug 7th 2007
7. Robert:
I notice that you're asking for verification of the Frank situation, but not of Foley's. I wonder why? Maybe your Democrat bias is showing. Frank was reprimanded by a majority-Democratic House for his activities. There would be no need for a reprimand if he hadn't done anything wrong. The last time I checked, hiring an escort and allowing that escort to run the business out of your residence is an indictable matter.
Robert just gave me the answer to my original question. If voters like Robert will defend a total clown like Frank even after a Congressional reprimand, then it's not likely that the same kind of voters will vet Congressional candidates adequately.
Fred at 10:10PM on Aug 7th 2007
8. This guy sounds like a waste of a human being. The young turks hit the nail right on the head when they say he is a coward. COme on! how scared was he to open his wallet then his mouth...just becaus hesin a public mens room and Surprise! theres other men in there! I dont know one straight guy that is that wimpy or when gay guy who is that stupid to use that excuse!
spliffy at 10:17PM on Aug 7th 2007
9. i love liberals who go out of their shoes to criticize but ignore big govt failures in education ,housing ,welfare ...yes this guy is a weird perv but liberal policies have failed so badly you need to come up with a new word for yourselves ..."progressives " now thats pathetic
tim at 11:10PM on Aug 7th 2007
10. Well, the biggest difference between Barney Franks and the likes of Allen and Foley (and a LOONNNGG list of other Republicans) is that unlike them, Franks is open about his sexuality, and also does not spend his life bashing gays, yelling about family values, and trashing everyone else's lifestyle.
Mr. Franks was reprimanded for his partner's activities, however it is also instructive to note that Mr. Franks had already kicked the guy out of his apartment when he found out about it - in advance of when the ethics committee discovered it. So....Mr. Franks had already dealt with the problem, and that is why he was NOT censured, or expelled - merely reprimanded.
The Republicans who get caught dirty-handed are always blaming others for their problems, whining about the media discussing their "personal" issues, and trying to hide out instead of DEALING WITH THE PROBLEM as Mr. Franks did.
Kathie at 1:51AM on Aug 8th 2007
11. i DO NOT BELIVE THIS BULL ,tHE AMERICA PROPLE HAVE A RIGHT AT BE TOLD THE TRUTH,AND THIS SLEEZEBALL WANTS THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE EXPECTED TO BELIVE THIS STUPID NOT HE IS DOWNGEADING TOH INTRLIGENCE OF ALL OF US ASSUMING WE EOULD BELIVE HIS BULL DOODOOI DONT KNOW ABOUT U BUT I FEEL OFFENDED.
i AM WHITE AND OFFENDES ME, IT COULD JUST AS WELL BEEN ANYONE NO MATER WHAT COLOR PEOPLE SHOULD SOME TIME IN A JAIL
IS IT STILL AGAINST THE LAW TO GIVE OUR POLICE STATEMENTS?
DON
Don Weippert at 5:36AM on Aug 8th 2007
12. When Bill Clinton was sexually assaulting members of his staff liberals wailed endlessly about a person's sex life being private but now that a Republican's sex life is the subject liberals are scrambling to make it a public issue. Talk about hypocrisy.
And Cenk writing about this story sounds like some drunken sixth grade educated bum gossiping to his drunken friends.
Robert Byngham at 6:00AM on Aug 8th 2007
13. There really isn't any need to comment on Bob Allen. There really isn't any question that hes a sleazy hypocrite. I'd like to explain something to Robert Byngham. He complains about how hypocritical liberals are because of articles like these. I won't even delve into his accusations of Clinton "sexually assaulting" people. The reason liberals, or for that matter anyone with working cognitive functions, are disgusted by people like Bob Allen is not because we agree or disagree with their personal lives or sexual orientations. It's because these figures take strong, often offensive public positions, pushing or passing legislation to support their stated views, and then secretly leading personal lives in direct contravention to the laws they themselves pass! Bob Allen authored legislation increasing the penalties for lewd acts, and then goes on to commit one himself! He was also firmly against homosexuals, and then tries to solicit sex acts with a man. Ted Haggard was a major advocate of the anti-gay rights movement, and we all know that story. I expect Bob Allen, like Haggard and Ney and others before them, to come out and offer a heart-wrenching, tear-filled, and probably religiously toned apology to his disapointed family and constituency. But only because he got caught. Byngham, in the future, try to UNDERSTAND, rather than merely spout disagreement with things you do not like.
Eric Barlow at 8:07AM on Aug 8th 2007
14. Stupid republicans...Dicks are for Chicks.
kevyn at 9:11AM on Aug 8th 2007
15. Why was this linked to John EDWARDS' picture, when this creep was John McCane's co-chair in Fla? Another innocent error?? Or, what! With your wide circulation, there's NO valid excuse!
James Hufferd at 9:14AM on Aug 8th 2007