Condoleezza Rice, the Secretary of State, has topped GQ's list of the 50 Most Powerful People in D.C. It might seem like an odd choice, possibly even the kind of choice intended to drum up publicity for the list, but that would be cynical, as would saying the same thing about the fact that the magazine picked Ronald Reagan at #13. Dead former president Ronald Reagan. And anyway, it's probably just sour grapes that the scheduling of GQ's list conflicted with our list of the 50 MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE IN MY DREAM AFTER I ATE CHILI. Here is the beginning of the list; subscribe to News Bloggers magazine for the complete list.


1. JIM HENSON (1936-1990)
The most influential American puppeteer of my lifetime was also a major player in the dream I had after I ate chili. I was sitting somewhere, by a river. The river was blue, but not a natural blue. It was bright blue. Then, on the other side of the river, I saw Jim Henson. I knew him by his beard. He didn't say anything. It was almost like he was studying me so that he could later make a puppet version of me. This may not seem powerful, but it is, because it set the entire tone for the rest of the dream.


2. KATIE HOLMES (1978- )
Holmes was just heading down a path as a hot actress willing to take edgy (and occasionally topless) roles when she became the possibly sham bride of Tom Cruise. Evidently, this disappointed me more than I can admit when awake, because she was the second most powerful person in my dream. I can't say what role she played, exactly. Let's just say that L. Ron Hubbard is spinning in his grave, and that his grave is located right near a waterbed store.


3. AUDRA LINDLEY (1918-1997)
Best-known for her role as Helen Roper on the sitcom Three's Company, Lindley was the third most powerful person in my dream because she appeared to be the mother of Katie Holmes (or the mother of the character that Katie Holmes was playing? -- not sure) and she entered the picture just as things with Katie were getting good, told her that she had to go or she was going to be late to school, and then left. I can honestly say I never hated Mrs. Roper as much as I did at that moment.


4. JAMES J. COUZENS (1872-1936)
Couzens was a U.S. Senator from the state of Michigan, the Mayor of Detroit, and an important early industrialist who was a business associate of Henry Ford and sold his interest in the Ford Motor Company in 1919 for thirty-five million dollars. What the hell was he doing in my dream? I'm not positive, but he sure was powerful. He was sitting behind a big oak desk and saying things like "Print it!" and "Well I never!" He also visited the Henson family and asked them to help him create a puppet of "the idea of insurance," which didn't seem as stupid while I was asleep as it does now.


5. WILLIAM (THE REFRIGERATOR) PERRY (1962- )
The Chicago Bears defensive lineman was very powerful in my dream. He was physically powerful, as you might expect, but also symbolically powerful -- the chili I ate before dreaming had been located in the refrigerator.

(Photos: Getty Images, AP, WireImage.com, The Jim Henson Company 2001)