Worse still, it was a gateway drug. Remember "Love Boat"? PCP mixed with pot. It turned you into a rapist and child-killer of superhuman strength.
Actually smoking pot was more than bad. It seemed positively evil. My father would return from his after-work jog around the field of Western Junior High School (right behind our house) and shake his head that some of the kids hanging out there in the evening were smoking marijuana. I shuddered. That he'd seen the face of evil and come back alive seemed almost miraculous.
So there, I've said it. I have never smoked pot.
In fact I've said it a lot, but my feelings on my pot-smoking virginity have begun to change...When I first announced to my college friends that I'd never smoked pot, I was kind of moralistic: I was disciplined enough to have never given in to temptation – not that I was judging anyone. (I rank "Moralistic" as the number #3 Most Unattractive Trait in People – right ahead of "Tax-cheating" and right behind "Dog-torturing.")
Indeed for the longest time I could only see the upside to being a member of the Never Been Baked Club: I was an obedient son. I was "high on life." I could one day be director of the DEA.
And It wasn't like a freak: I soon discovered that my friends Shannon and Jeanne were both NBBCers.
But now I've started to wonder...
The first doubt came when I met actor Cheech Marin at the Smithsonian Latino Center's "¡Smithsonian con Sabor!" event. It was a grand affair. Talk-show hostess Cristina was there, as was Governor Jeb Bush. But I was most excited to meet Cheech.
"I'm a huge fan," I gushed. "I've loved everything you've done."
Before those words had left my mouth, though, it struck me: I do love Cheech Marin. He's funny and supremely likable. I thought he was great in Tin Cup. But while I liked the Cheech and Chong movies, I didn't really get them. I didn't appreciate them like other people did. In fact I'd spent my life fake-laughing along friends to classic pothead comedy.
And here I was lying to Cheech Marin. I felt crummy. I had a few Caipirinhas, though, and forgot about it. (Photo at right: I met the new Juan Valdez at the same event.)Then came my "Aha!" (as Oprah would say) moment: One recent Tuesday morning, soon after I moved into my apartment, my bedroom was filled with a pungency that can only be described as herbal skunk. (I actually looked on my terrace for a skunk. I would have hated for a lost animal to fall from 12 stories up onto the Manhattan pavement.) I soon realized, "Wow. My neighbors are smoking marijuana ... on a weekday morning." How brash. How unconventional.
Then about a week later, I smelled it again. But it wasn't just coming from that side. Someone from the down the hallway on the other side was also getting stoned. Meanwhile I was my usual stressed-out self, biting my nails, shuttling between CNN, MSNBC, FoxNews, and E! (all the major news channels), trying to come up with a blog topic.
I'm kind of Type-A. I'm kind of a tight-ass. Maybe, I began thinking, I wouldn't be if I did a joint every now and then. Maybe blog topics would flow more freely. Maybe I could be as free as my pothead neighbors. (Yikes, I hope they're too stoned to read this.)
These days when I tell people I've never smoked pot, I say so with less conviction: "Isn't it funny?" I ask with a nervous laugh. "I mean, my mother is from Colombia and I've never been high!" Most don't think it's funny. They look at me with suspicion.
Others just don't get the "joke" about Colombia: "I don't get it. So you've just done blow?"
Jeanne and Shannon say nothing. (I think they ended up getting stoned without me.)
So what do you think? Are you a member of the Never Been Baked Club? Are you proud? Ashamed?
Finally, is there any reason – ethical, health-related, or otherwise – to my remaining an NBBCer?
Reader Comments ( Page 1 of 38)
1. I am part of the never been baked club as well Mo. I am currently enrolled in a class called the Sociology of Drugs and it has given me some insight to pot and its workings. I would have to say from seeing my highschool and college friends in person and from what I have read on the topic, it seems that, as an activity, smoking a joint is less harmful or physically risky as getting drunk. Sometimes I wish that I had taken the opportunity to get blazed when I had a chance but most of the time I am glad because I have been able to tell my younger brothers that I haven't and that has been a positive influence on them that I can rest easy with. Do some more research, and not just at makeweedlegal.com or whatever stoner site you find. Personally I want some brownies.
Matt at 5:38PM on Sep 24th 2008
2. I'm not afraid to admit that I've smoked enough pot in my younger days to have choked the Budweiser Clydesdales. I don't smoke anymore because:
a) I can't afford it
b) smoking even a little bit now makes me VIOLENTLY ill. Really. I barfed repeadetly the last several times I smoked any. Maybe I became hyper-sensitized to THC because I smoked too much.
c) I now am a middle-aged single Dad with two teens. I have discussed my partying days with them and also told them about the down sides, too. Not the usual "you're eventually going to try harder stuff" etc., but life events such as I was a Air Force cadet with a full ride to a major university, complete with guaranteed pilot slot upon graduation, but I got baked (often) and ended up losing the scholarship and had to drop out of college.
Mo, you don't seem to be in any danger of any of these things. I say, "light up, dude!"
GearHedEd at 6:54PM on Sep 24th 2008
3. Its all up to you. dont let anyone decide for you. Your and your choice alone. Whatever your reasons are, why u choose to do it, thats all up to you.
If you do it great, dont let others lifestyles influence you. If you don't, stick to it.
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5. HELL YEAH!!!!
freeicecream4me at 3:14PM on Aug 23rd 2007
6. Absolutely not! I respect and admire your longtime stance. Smoking pot is a vice and an immature activity (and illegal for that matter), more befitting of a high school kid than an accomplished and professional voice in the media. You speak with a unique voice and I am proud that you are a representative of my generation.
Rachel at 3:17PM on Aug 23rd 2007
7. Dear Mo: I think you should join the 420 club. Loosen up a little bit. It's great. Everybody should smoke and alcohol should be illegal. I say go for it, it's not like your going to freak out or anything. It is just a natural herb. So I say "GET STONED MO" your gonna love it. ALOHA FROM HAWAII!!!!! Stoner Valerie
VSLATER at 3:16PM on Aug 23rd 2007
8. I've 45 years old, and I've never smoked pot. Besides the usual lectures from my parents and school teachers, there is also the fact that I have severe allergies.
Tobacco smoke sets off my allergies far worse than cats, dogs, or even ragweed. I sneeze. My nose gets stuffy. My eyes tear up.
Guess what. Pot smoke has the same effect. Having lived in a college dorm, whenever I started smelling pot, I started to have the same symptoms that I would have sitting near cigarette, cigar, or pipe smokers.
One has to assume that if inhaling smoke of any kind, whether tobacco smoke; exhaust from a car, diesel truck, jet airplane; or coal-fired power plant emissions, is bad for one's lungs, then inhaling smoke from a joint has to cause some damage, too.
So there is the pragmatic reason why I've never smoked pot.
Kent at 3:18PM on Aug 23rd 2007
9. Most definately my friend
i'd say it could change your life for the better and help you relax a bit.
John at 3:21PM on Aug 23rd 2007
10. I'm a 24 year old NBBer myself. It saddens me that we're the minority. It saddens me that there are so many immature, narcisistic morons out there that think it's ok and acceptable. It's not ok, it's weak. If you don't like yourself without the use of stimulants just off yourself.
Ashlee at 3:27PM on Aug 23rd 2007
11. Never done it. Never will??? I can't say for certain- and how much fun is certainty in life anyway...predictability has its upside but a surprise now and then can also be a good thang. Having said that, doncha kinda like to be your own person? And never having taken a toke is part of who you are. So I say wave your non-freak flag proud and enjoy your status as a card carrying member of the NBB club.
uniceverse at 3:29PM on Aug 23rd 2007
12. Oh God Mo, meet me around Bryant Park tonight. We’re getting you baked out of your mind.
Okay, to be honest, I myself was kind of a ‘nervous nelly’ when it came to smoking marijuana. With a name like ‘Blayze’, I had gotten numerous pot-referenced jokes throughout high school. ‘Wanna blaze?’ ‘Do you blaze?’ ‘Let’s blaze it up Blayze.’ I found it annoying and had no real desire to inhale ‘weed’. I never touched a drop of alcohol or tobacco in high school. I wasn’t going to start doing the most illegal vice, that’d be like doing cocaine and heroin.
My ‘shaggy’ hair I suppose added to this façade. I always played along though, unhappily, and joked that I smoked now and then. But that changed, I finally did decide to cast caution into the wind and light up. College, what a great place to start. Two of my friends and I drove around town, passing a bowl, inhaling the stuff like no tomorrow. It’s not a bad feeling though, sometimes you can get extremely paranoid and think ‘Holy crap guys, that might be a COP!’ Sadly, my two reefer burning buddies got nailed around St. Patrick’s Day. I was not with them on that occasion, and they got berated by one hard, mean police officer. Handcuffs and everything. Still, I continued to smoke, and got so ridiculously baked one night hot boxing a car with a few friends.
Smoking marijuana needs to be enjoyed in a relaxed setting, where you won’t feel rushed or scared to smoke. A lot of people like to ‘cruise’, which is slang for driving and smoking blunts or bowls with the passengers in your vehicle. I find that highly dangerous and don’t advise anyone to do it. Think of it, as a cigar. You want to enjoy it, savor the feeling, and calm yourself down. It makes me very lightheaded but happy. Occasionally it makes you hungry, but not ‘Shaggy and Scooby’ kind of hungry, at least not for me. Although one time, I did eat a great Auntie Ann pretzel while high, and it was simply glorious.
So, my advice Mo, if you do decide to smoke, is to enjoy it. It’ll take some time to actually get used to inhaling but once you become comfortable, it’s a great way to relieve yourself from stress or a great excuse to just giggle stupidly for an hour or two. I always have lovely discussions while high, be they intellectual or making jokes out of ABBA songs.
However, I respect all those who don’t smoke, or are against it. You guys are right, it is bad for you and illegal. I myself haven’t smoked in a couple of long weeks actually.
Your choice Mo, I'd still respect you either way.
Your friend, Blayze “Shaggy” O’Brien from the Bee
And God forbid this information leaks to some snooty law enforcement agency that patrols the web.
Blayze at 3:30PM on Aug 23rd 2007
13. You know Mo I don't think it's that big of a deal. I mean if you want to try it go ahead, but if you don't that's ok too. So just go with your gut feeling.
Hailee at 3:41PM on Aug 23rd 2007
14. I am a proud member of the Never Been Baked Club. I wear my lack of pot-smoking like a badge of honor. The fact that I have never been tempted by that slutty Puff the Magic Dragon is a point of pride. Why turn to weed when you can a have a prefectly good Rum and Coke or other such drinks to soothe away your cares and lower your standards of decency. My reason is an ethicial one because i see pot-smoking as something that dirty hippies and musicians do. Although, if you do decide to light up please film it for the rest of us to laugh at your antics
Jeff Stanfield at 3:33PM on Aug 23rd 2007
15. What are you, 12?
You shouldn't smoke pot, weed, marijuana for several reasons.
1) if you have to ask...don't do it.
2) weed smoking is something you tried or did in your 20's. By your mid 20's give it up. It's not cute and makes your breath sink in a major way. Especially if you're drinking alcohol - bad combination.
3) Unless it's for medicinal purposes - just stay away from it. Even then, there are nonaddicting alternatives to soothe one's ailments.
4)Unless you're going to grow it yourself, you have NO IDEA what's in it. Some people add formaldahyde, raid, and other chemicals. I've seen people who'd had a bad hit - mental illness ain't cute.
I smoked for a very brief period in my 20's (for about a month). It made me sleepy which was extremely counter productive. I agree with you, I'm high on life and I love it. Stay clean, clear and true to yourself.
Lisa Wedgworth at 4:58PM on Aug 23rd 2007