Worse still, it was a gateway drug. Remember "Love Boat"? PCP mixed with pot. It turned you into a rapist and child-killer of superhuman strength.
Actually smoking pot was more than bad. It seemed positively evil. My father would return from his after-work jog around the field of Western Junior High School (right behind our house) and shake his head that some of the kids hanging out there in the evening were smoking marijuana. I shuddered. That he'd seen the face of evil and come back alive seemed almost miraculous.
So there, I've said it. I have never smoked pot.
In fact I've said it a lot, but my feelings on my pot-smoking virginity have begun to change...When I first announced to my college friends that I'd never smoked pot, I was kind of moralistic: I was disciplined enough to have never given in to temptation – not that I was judging anyone. (I rank "Moralistic" as the number #3 Most Unattractive Trait in People – right ahead of "Tax-cheating" and right behind "Dog-torturing.")
Indeed for the longest time I could only see the upside to being a member of the Never Been Baked Club: I was an obedient son. I was "high on life." I could one day be director of the DEA.
And It wasn't like a freak: I soon discovered that my friends Shannon and Jeanne were both NBBCers.
But now I've started to wonder...
The first doubt came when I met actor Cheech Marin at the Smithsonian Latino Center's "¡Smithsonian con Sabor!" event. It was a grand affair. Talk-show hostess Cristina was there, as was Governor Jeb Bush. But I was most excited to meet Cheech.
"I'm a huge fan," I gushed. "I've loved everything you've done."
Before those words had left my mouth, though, it struck me: I do love Cheech Marin. He's funny and supremely likable. I thought he was great in Tin Cup. But while I liked the Cheech and Chong movies, I didn't really get them. I didn't appreciate them like other people did. In fact I'd spent my life fake-laughing along friends to classic pothead comedy.
And here I was lying to Cheech Marin. I felt crummy. I had a few Caipirinhas, though, and forgot about it. (Photo at right: I met the new Juan Valdez at the same event.)Then came my "Aha!" (as Oprah would say) moment: One recent Tuesday morning, soon after I moved into my apartment, my bedroom was filled with a pungency that can only be described as herbal skunk. (I actually looked on my terrace for a skunk. I would have hated for a lost animal to fall from 12 stories up onto the Manhattan pavement.) I soon realized, "Wow. My neighbors are smoking marijuana ... on a weekday morning." How brash. How unconventional.
Then about a week later, I smelled it again. But it wasn't just coming from that side. Someone from the down the hallway on the other side was also getting stoned. Meanwhile I was my usual stressed-out self, biting my nails, shuttling between CNN, MSNBC, FoxNews, and E! (all the major news channels), trying to come up with a blog topic.
I'm kind of Type-A. I'm kind of a tight-ass. Maybe, I began thinking, I wouldn't be if I did a joint every now and then. Maybe blog topics would flow more freely. Maybe I could be as free as my pothead neighbors. (Yikes, I hope they're too stoned to read this.)
These days when I tell people I've never smoked pot, I say so with less conviction: "Isn't it funny?" I ask with a nervous laugh. "I mean, my mother is from Colombia and I've never been high!" Most don't think it's funny. They look at me with suspicion.
Others just don't get the "joke" about Colombia: "I don't get it. So you've just done blow?"
Jeanne and Shannon say nothing. (I think they ended up getting stoned without me.)
So what do you think? Are you a member of the Never Been Baked Club? Are you proud? Ashamed?
Finally, is there any reason – ethical, health-related, or otherwise – to my remaining an NBBCer?
Reader Comments ( Page 2 of 38)
16. Well, here's the thing. Pot smoking can help you creatively IF respected and not abused, thats the hard part. Some people can smoke it once or twice a week or a month, just to get a laid back perspective on everything and be refreshed mentally. It can be useful. Now on the other hand, it can be addictive though, and people that are addicted tend to do it 2-3 times a day for months, thats bad. My answer to you is, if you don't have a job that requires you to stay clean, sure, try it a couple of times and if you don't like it, stop. If you don't want to mess up your moral values, and keep a clean head, then don't do it. Will you wonder all your life, "what if?" sure. Is it worth it, yes and no. Thats a decision you should make.
Concernedadvice at 4:04PM on Aug 23rd 2007
17. Keep in mind that when you first smoke it, it is going to have a different effect on you that the seemingly longer term users like your neighbors. I think the effect you are imagining, the creative boost it gives you (and it 100% does) doesn't kick in fully until you have used for a short while, getting used to it and so forth. At this point in your life, you've gotten along fine without it - so why start? You're late to the game - so stay out.
scammy at 3:39PM on Aug 23rd 2007
18. Hi, hi, Mo!
Well, I don't know if you should be ashamed of yourself either way. I was a pot virgin until age 25.
I used to criticize and look down upon those who saw the greener side of life, but then again, I was very much under the influence of Zoloft, Xanax and ultimately, Prozac, which meant I was a socially acceptable drug addict.
Then, I met my friend Liz. She shared a joint with me at a wedding and all of a sudden I was Fred Astaire.
Please don't cue Jefferson Airplane's "White Rabbit" yet. I can partake on a toke sometime, but I have not made an habit of it. Au contraire, I dropped my prescription anti depressants and decided to enjoy the ups and downs of my life as they came.
So, it's ok.
Besides, I DO have a pot plant in my garden. It's green and beautiful. Her name is Lupe. She is gorgeous. But I don't intend to smoke her. Lupe is in my spanish garden to make my life greener in other senses.
Spain reads you, Mo.
Miguel Cane at 3:41PM on Aug 23rd 2007
19.
Hi mo, This is an activity I have not thought about for 25 years.
Pot smoking is a generationally driven activity. When I was in high school smoking pot was done alot but "undercover". I thought it was a drug that was dangerous. Then after being a straight laced " do everything right person' all hell broke loose.
I graduated high school and college, got married had kids. After my divorce I became someone else. I think I realized doing the right things got me nowhere. I became that rebellious teen that I never was.
I got a boyfriend who was a pothead. I had to learn to smoke pot. Along with other substances. Pot was not considered a bad thing . No one mentioned that it was illegal. I became a person with reckless abandon. I dropped out of graduate school. Packed up everything I had sold my house . Rounded up the cat and the kids and just hit the road.
We traveled around the country for a year and settled in san diego , where my whole family had migrated.
Pot did not make me do what I did but it was a sign of the times an attitude of JUST DO IT.
Today I think pot is a drug that is not dangerous, or wrong But I believe it fosters an attitude that is anti productive. You can smoke a joint , hang out all day and not realize that you are a lazy bum. I don't regret what I did, everthing you do is an life experience. Life is just a journey that you learn from and also have fun along the way!!!
MO smoke that joint!! It is one more thing to experience or you'll never know what has been going on all around you. If you don't it's mind over matter and it won' t matter.
marsha beckerman at 3:41PM on Aug 23rd 2007
20. My father spent most of his life in prison for smoking pot and doing other drugs. I am PROUD to say that I have never smoked pot, or touched any other drug out there. I am PROUD to lead an addiction-free life, especially when there are so many people out there falling prey to the mind-warping effects of substance abuse. I am PROUD of everyone that has lived above the influence of drugs.
Wayne at 3:45PM on Aug 23rd 2007
21. Mo, you gotta try it. It's really an eye opening thing. There are no risks, you won't die, get sick or be scarred/addicted for life. It's fun. Not something to do everyday, but every now and than it's a good breather. It's hard to explain what it feels like, it's just great. Better than any alcohol buzz and you don't feel like crappola the next day . I think you would really enjoy it and I gotta say that if I was with you on your first "high" I would be the most appreciative, happiest and honored person in the world. Have fun, MO.
Wendy at 3:48PM on Aug 23rd 2007
22. Give me a break.
Some of you act like smoking pot once makes you a horrible person. Did having a drink for the first time completely alter your universe and make you evil?? Pot does have some bad effects, like most things on Earth. So does alcohol, and those effects are a lot worse. But drink up, alcohol's legal. It's laughable; don't be a sheep!
PS. I drink, so I'm not trying to say that it's a horrible thing. It's just for the sake of comparison for those who are clueless.
Pot is only illegal because the government is too proud to admit they've been wrong all these years , classifying pot in the same category as incredibly harmful drugs. We're stuck with our dinosaur drug laws.
Pot is not for everyone, of course, nothing is.
So if you don't like it, don't do it.
But I'm not a bad person for having a puff.
Ernie Blunts at 3:54PM on Aug 23rd 2007
23.
PS I forgot to mention that due to my involvement with potheads and alcoholics I. have not had a joint or sip of alcohol since 1990. I refuse to do anything that effects my mind or consciousness. I have gone from one extreme to the other. I value my sanity too much to give it up for even a second.
marsha beckerman at 3:54PM on Aug 23rd 2007
24. Hey Mo and anyone else willing to read this comment. I just wanted to say that I have smoked pot casually for some time. I know people that don't smoke and people that do. The Cold War 70's esque interpretation of pot is wrong. It's only a gateway drug if the user allows it to be. I have smoked pot since I was 13 years old and it has only consistantly lead me to the munchies. I am of no position to judge though. I think that if getting high is what you want to do then do it; if you don't or are worried about percieved cultural backlash then don't do it. But Marijuana is not as demonic or evil as people are/were lead to believe. I don't rape children, nor have I ever done PCP, and I have no terroristic intentions. I work, pay taxes, and go to college full time. Read this comment as you will.
James at 3:54PM on Aug 23rd 2007
25. Try it or don't try it, whatever agrees best with you, but don't get yourself in a tizzy over it. lol
It's better for your body than drinking alcohol or taking prescription pills, there is no doubt about that.
It isn't a vice, any more than taking an aspirin is, if aspirin were illegal, that is.
It can make you think, if you're prone to that type of thing, which can be good for you too.
Either way, it won't kill you. Nor is it addictive, as we learned in our first Pharmacy class in college, despite what others might tell you.
So try it if you feel the curiosity, it won't bite you in the buns tomorrow.
Amanda at 3:56PM on Aug 23rd 2007
26. And as a slight follow up I just wonder why the non-smokers by and whole are so hostile to those that do? I have no intention of trying to make your kids smoke nor will I try to force my beliefs on you. However, I don't hate you people that don't smoke just because you don't. I can't buy it is entirely because of legality, people have supported illegal causes for years.
James at 4:02PM on Aug 23rd 2007
27. I strongly advise you all further educate yourselves on the subject of Cannibis:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannabis_%28drug%29
http://www.norml.org/
-Op
Operator at 4:15PM on Aug 23rd 2007
28. I'm 22 and I haven't smoked pot either. In fact, I've only laid eyes on it once. Back in my teen years, if it was offered, I would have tried it. But it was never offered. I'm not a very social person and I was excluded from a lot of activities with my so-called friends. But I'm not so sure that if it had been, I wouldn't have chickened out. It makes people stupid, weird, and smelly. I don't want to try it now, it's too late. I'll stick to good old martinis to make me stupid and smelly.
Tiare at 4:47PM on Aug 23rd 2007
29. Mo, I've been a fan since the Daily Show and I love you on Iron Chef.
You seem to have a painful self-consciousness about you which is a part of your charm but it is also why you have failed to, in my opinion, become more popular. While you are usually quick witted and hilarious, I feel that you often stuble because your mind is moving too quickly for your mouth;
What you need is to relax and be able to see yourself slightly removed. While at home Marijuana could help you isolate your streams of thought and relax. When you smoke weed all the voices and thoughts in your head come into one solid coherent stream, and as you master this experience it can become a great tool for introspection and relaxation. You will find yourself after a while coming up with creative and effective solutions to problems that trouble you. You see things in a different way, you notice things you may have over looked, and motivations for actions become clearer both in yourself and others. You should totally smoke weed Mo. I think we can all agree that while smoking something certainly isn't good for your lungs, weed is not heroin or cocaine. Or even alcohol for that matter. It isn't addictive, it doesn't impair you motor skills, it doesn't make you sick, it doesn't change your personality or your biological function. It is the most benign intoxicant on the planet. All this guilt is a cultural problem, one that we don't have in California. It wont hurt you or change you to try it a few times (the first time is often a little over or underwhelming) and then you'll know for sure whether or not its for you.
"Every man's memory is his private literature."
Aldous Huxley
Nick Miller at 4:30PM on Aug 23rd 2007
30. Why start conforming now? Stay away from the stuff. A good cigar is cheaper, legal, and more satisfying. ( And you don't have to inhale. )
When I was in my 20's, my mother had smoked pot. My grandmother had smoked pot. Me? No. I was just too cheap to buy the stuff. Finally, when I was forty, a friend offered me the opportunity to try it. All I can say is that it was an interesting experience, but really nothing to write home about.
You've bucked the tide this long, why give in now? I, for one, respect your stubbornness.
Jeffrey Smith at 4:25PM on Aug 23rd 2007