Worse still, it was a gateway drug. Remember "Love Boat"? PCP mixed with pot. It turned you into a rapist and child-killer of superhuman strength.
Actually smoking pot was more than bad. It seemed positively evil. My father would return from his after-work jog around the field of Western Junior High School (right behind our house) and shake his head that some of the kids hanging out there in the evening were smoking marijuana. I shuddered. That he'd seen the face of evil and come back alive seemed almost miraculous.
So there, I've said it. I have never smoked pot.
In fact I've said it a lot, but my feelings on my pot-smoking virginity have begun to change...When I first announced to my college friends that I'd never smoked pot, I was kind of moralistic: I was disciplined enough to have never given in to temptation – not that I was judging anyone. (I rank "Moralistic" as the number #3 Most Unattractive Trait in People – right ahead of "Tax-cheating" and right behind "Dog-torturing.")
Indeed for the longest time I could only see the upside to being a member of the Never Been Baked Club: I was an obedient son. I was "high on life." I could one day be director of the DEA.
And It wasn't like a freak: I soon discovered that my friends Shannon and Jeanne were both NBBCers.
But now I've started to wonder...
The first doubt came when I met actor Cheech Marin at the Smithsonian Latino Center's "¡Smithsonian con Sabor!" event. It was a grand affair. Talk-show hostess Cristina was there, as was Governor Jeb Bush. But I was most excited to meet Cheech.
"I'm a huge fan," I gushed. "I've loved everything you've done."
Before those words had left my mouth, though, it struck me: I do love Cheech Marin. He's funny and supremely likable. I thought he was great in Tin Cup. But while I liked the Cheech and Chong movies, I didn't really get them. I didn't appreciate them like other people did. In fact I'd spent my life fake-laughing along friends to classic pothead comedy.
And here I was lying to Cheech Marin. I felt crummy. I had a few Caipirinhas, though, and forgot about it. (Photo at right: I met the new Juan Valdez at the same event.)Then came my "Aha!" (as Oprah would say) moment: One recent Tuesday morning, soon after I moved into my apartment, my bedroom was filled with a pungency that can only be described as herbal skunk. (I actually looked on my terrace for a skunk. I would have hated for a lost animal to fall from 12 stories up onto the Manhattan pavement.) I soon realized, "Wow. My neighbors are smoking marijuana ... on a weekday morning." How brash. How unconventional.
Then about a week later, I smelled it again. But it wasn't just coming from that side. Someone from the down the hallway on the other side was also getting stoned. Meanwhile I was my usual stressed-out self, biting my nails, shuttling between CNN, MSNBC, FoxNews, and E! (all the major news channels), trying to come up with a blog topic.
I'm kind of Type-A. I'm kind of a tight-ass. Maybe, I began thinking, I wouldn't be if I did a joint every now and then. Maybe blog topics would flow more freely. Maybe I could be as free as my pothead neighbors. (Yikes, I hope they're too stoned to read this.)
These days when I tell people I've never smoked pot, I say so with less conviction: "Isn't it funny?" I ask with a nervous laugh. "I mean, my mother is from Colombia and I've never been high!" Most don't think it's funny. They look at me with suspicion.
Others just don't get the "joke" about Colombia: "I don't get it. So you've just done blow?"
Jeanne and Shannon say nothing. (I think they ended up getting stoned without me.)
So what do you think? Are you a member of the Never Been Baked Club? Are you proud? Ashamed?
Finally, is there any reason – ethical, health-related, or otherwise – to my remaining an NBBCer?
Reader Comments ( Page 3 of 38)
31. An interesting question: to inhale or not to inhale? Do you give in to a popular recreational drug and no longer come off as Moralistic? Or do you keep your pot virginity?
Do as you will, Mo Rocca. It is as you see it, and as you decide it.
I myself have never smoked pot, but my reasons for not doing so are probably different than others. For starters, I have asthma. Pretty bad asthma, I should say. I once took a puff of my sister's cigarette, and was sick for next few hours. The thought of inhaling something with three times as much tar didn't sway me in that direction.
The other consideration was behavior. I'd known girls in high school who lost their virginity (actual virginity) because they were high, and I'd meet people who claimed to be stoned on a regular basis. I will say people with pot have an interesting curiosity about the world, and I find them fun to talk to. But when years later, I discover that the same people are still carrying on like that, and have never been to college, work at the same dead-end job, and have no intention of leaving the security of their parents' basement, I find more incentive not to try it.
And then, most importantly, there is the family aspect. I was raised by a lawyer who spoke to us about being respectful and careful of our bodies (he suggested it - he didn't impose the idea). His mother was an alcoholic, so he knew how easy it was to fall into patterns involving controlled substances. So you can imagine, if he were still alive, how big a slap in the face it would be if he saw his daughter, my sister, as a drug and alcohol addict. She is recovering, but she's been a recovered addict in the past, too. Allen Ginsberg once wrote "I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness." I've seen it to, as it relates to alcohol and drugs. It ain't pretty.
So my motivation to abstain from such activities, fun as they may seem, is based on observation. I don't think pot smokers are bad people at all. I just choose not to do it because I'm confident it won't jive with my lifestyle and goals.
I'd like to know how you define "Moralistic," Mo. Since when does standing by what you believe in considered moralistic? I'm Pro-Life, but I believe that choice should be legal to all women. I don't smoke pot or have promiscuous sex, but I have friends I love dearly who do, and my love for them is undiminished. I'm registered Republican, but many of my beliefs are considered liberal. If there is one message I'd emphasize to my nephew and anyone else listening, it's to never be afraid of expressing who you truly are. The only difference here is that I prefer not to impose my belief system on others. Each and every one of us is a religion onto ourselves, so it's up to us to dictate our own commandments.
Marta R. at 4:26PM on Aug 23rd 2007
32. You mean that during all those long afternoons in the chair for the VH1 specials, you weren't even high? Amazing.
ami at 4:25PM on Aug 23rd 2007
33. Mo, what side do you want to associate yourself with? Have you read these extreme comments—"immature", "narcisistic" (sic)
I think I'd rather try it before condemning it. Illegal does NOT equal evil. Did you know. in N. Dakota it is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on?
berserkergang at 4:30PM on Aug 23rd 2007
34. Good place to learn more about marijuana, the people and pretty much everything else related to it is Portlands' famous HEMPSTALK. And you are in luck Mo, HEMPSTALK is next month, September 8th and 9th. I'll be looking for you, it's a GREAT event and the ONLY time of the year where anyone can smoke outside, in and with the public.
Wendy at 10:01AM on Aug 24th 2007
35. Mo, I love your blog! I am 30 and have never smoked pot. Just a personal choice and for no real reason. I did like the smell of it in college though. I think you have already made your decision. If you decide to smoke, well the world will keep turning. Now, if you wanted to wear a latex suit or assless chaps, I would have to say no. :)
Danielle at 4:38PM on Aug 23rd 2007
36. Opinions are pouring in from both sides of the issue, but ultimately its your own decision. There is probably a good chance that if you do, you won't really find anything immensely enjoyable about it. For some people it just hits them as their "thing" (myself included). Needs to be said that some of the anti-smoking comments have been silly. A "bad hit" causing mental illness, really? Ridiculous, but thanks for the laugh. Also someone called smokers "narcissistic morons" for thinking it's ok. Maybe it's just me, but do you even know the meaning of narcissistic? Stoners are the last people I can think of that are full of themselves. Do or not do, enjoy life to the fullest Mo.
Kevin at 4:38PM on Aug 23rd 2007
37. no one ever believes me when i say i have never done it
i guess i havent done it because i just hate the pro legalization people not because i think pot is evil or anything its just that when people complain about getting in trouble for doing something that they knew 100 percent was illegal
and i guess those people have just put me off of doing it
threechordme at 6:48PM on Aug 23rd 2007
38. I dunno. Seems like a teenage or college kind of thing. Most of what I remember of toking was sitting around all day giggling over nothing, inhaling junk food and being paranoid. Oh..and saying "Oh wow I'm so toasted"
People who participate in activities that they like esp borderline activites will always glorify them. So if you are listening to those who toke remember they are selling you and themselves.
Besides.. a good clue that something really isn't for you? If you have to take a national poll to decide.
Laura at 4:53PM on Aug 23rd 2007
39. I don't think you should, if your reason is needing to change yourself. I'm a type A person and I've tried it maybe about 7 times in my life and I don't do it anymore because it makes me feel sluggish and lazy the next few days and during. Although drugs can change people, I believe you also have to meet them halfway. In other words, a drug will not change who you are unless you make some effort to change yourself in the first place. However, for the sake of experience, I would say it would be harmless for you to try it once and why not, as long that's on the grounds of curiosity.
Julien at 4:59PM on Aug 23rd 2007
40. MO MO MO .
don't smoke pot.
i have friends that are STILL baking themselves stupid on a daily basis. most of them in their mid thirties. you've made it this far, why worry now.
believe me you are better off. it is refreshing to know that you are not partaking in the same past time as a 10th grader.
erin at 5:03PM on Aug 23rd 2007
41. I went through roughly the same feelings as those stated above, and I never touched pot until I was 26 (that would be last year). In the end, it just seemed like an experience I would enjoy trying, and I went for it. I enjoy getting stoned with my friends occasionally, though I still pass it up most of the time. I haven't thought I was invincible and stuck a shotgun in my mouth, or suddenly become mentally deficient enough to drive around stoned and killed someone, and I still go to work every day... So overall, it didn't change much of anything.
Larisa at 5:15PM on Aug 23rd 2007
42. For 2 years I was on Zoloft, Welbutrin and several other prescription meds for anxiety indused insomnia, and even with all those VERY expensive meds, the problem was still ongoing. Then a friend of mine asked me to try just a couple of puffs at night and see if it helped. Well, it worked wonderful!!! To this day, if I find it hard to sleep I will take a couple of puffs and within an hour I am so relaxed that I fall quickly and peacfully to sleep. And don't let me mention the money it has saved me on all those expensive doctor priscribed meds.
Do I think I would smoke for any other reason? Well, the answer would be NO! It is really relaxing so I can see why people enjoy it so much, but I just can not understand how people could smoke and function enough to drive a car. So, if you decide to try it, do it when you have nothing else to do and enjoy it, becasue I'm sure you will!!! Good luck in your choices......Just don't let me read about you being arrested for Driving under the influence or possesion! LOL
Tammy at 5:09PM on Aug 23rd 2007
43. Well, while a lot of people (including me) were exposed to smoking pot when they were in their late teens or early 20's, I know of several older family men who didn't start until they were around 30. One of them is now in his 50's, and finds it helps him medically without being all the meds he was on after he had a stroke (He'd stopped smoking out, about 6 or 7 years before the stroke!) and his doctor KNOWS and while he doesn't blatantly encourage it, he tells him to keep 'doing what you're doing'.
It's up to you, Mo. I've done it and walked away from it.. but I also found when I WAS doing it, I slept better at night (normally an insomniac), got more creative work done, and was less stressed.
But keep up the good work, Mo, you're amazing!
Macha at 5:14PM on Aug 23rd 2007
44. Ah, my sophomore year. It was the best three years of my life. Mo, the only thing that I can tell you is that many of us believe that you can tell someone who has smoked from someone who has not. We are probably wrong but it seems to make you wiser in the long run but completely stupid while doing it.
Steve Seivers at 5:22PM on Aug 23rd 2007
45. Dear Mo.
I don't actually like getting high. It just isn't for me. But I would still recommend trying it. It is something worth trying even if it isn't something you ever want to do more than twice (definitely try it twice, so you can really say you tried it.) And if you don't like it, you don't like it, but you won't have to wonder anymore.
Kate at 4:53PM on Aug 24th 2007