Worse still, it was a gateway drug. Remember "Love Boat"? PCP mixed with pot. It turned you into a rapist and child-killer of superhuman strength.
Actually smoking pot was more than bad. It seemed positively evil. My father would return from his after-work jog around the field of Western Junior High School (right behind our house) and shake his head that some of the kids hanging out there in the evening were smoking marijuana. I shuddered. That he'd seen the face of evil and come back alive seemed almost miraculous.
So there, I've said it. I have never smoked pot.
In fact I've said it a lot, but my feelings on my pot-smoking virginity have begun to change...When I first announced to my college friends that I'd never smoked pot, I was kind of moralistic: I was disciplined enough to have never given in to temptation – not that I was judging anyone. (I rank "Moralistic" as the number #3 Most Unattractive Trait in People – right ahead of "Tax-cheating" and right behind "Dog-torturing.")
Indeed for the longest time I could only see the upside to being a member of the Never Been Baked Club: I was an obedient son. I was "high on life." I could one day be director of the DEA.
And It wasn't like a freak: I soon discovered that my friends Shannon and Jeanne were both NBBCers.
But now I've started to wonder...
The first doubt came when I met actor Cheech Marin at the Smithsonian Latino Center's "¡Smithsonian con Sabor!" event. It was a grand affair. Talk-show hostess Cristina was there, as was Governor Jeb Bush. But I was most excited to meet Cheech.
"I'm a huge fan," I gushed. "I've loved everything you've done."
Before those words had left my mouth, though, it struck me: I do love Cheech Marin. He's funny and supremely likable. I thought he was great in Tin Cup. But while I liked the Cheech and Chong movies, I didn't really get them. I didn't appreciate them like other people did. In fact I'd spent my life fake-laughing along friends to classic pothead comedy.
And here I was lying to Cheech Marin. I felt crummy. I had a few Caipirinhas, though, and forgot about it. (Photo at right: I met the new Juan Valdez at the same event.)Then came my "Aha!" (as Oprah would say) moment: One recent Tuesday morning, soon after I moved into my apartment, my bedroom was filled with a pungency that can only be described as herbal skunk. (I actually looked on my terrace for a skunk. I would have hated for a lost animal to fall from 12 stories up onto the Manhattan pavement.) I soon realized, "Wow. My neighbors are smoking marijuana ... on a weekday morning." How brash. How unconventional.
Then about a week later, I smelled it again. But it wasn't just coming from that side. Someone from the down the hallway on the other side was also getting stoned. Meanwhile I was my usual stressed-out self, biting my nails, shuttling between CNN, MSNBC, FoxNews, and E! (all the major news channels), trying to come up with a blog topic.
I'm kind of Type-A. I'm kind of a tight-ass. Maybe, I began thinking, I wouldn't be if I did a joint every now and then. Maybe blog topics would flow more freely. Maybe I could be as free as my pothead neighbors. (Yikes, I hope they're too stoned to read this.)
These days when I tell people I've never smoked pot, I say so with less conviction: "Isn't it funny?" I ask with a nervous laugh. "I mean, my mother is from Colombia and I've never been high!" Most don't think it's funny. They look at me with suspicion.
Others just don't get the "joke" about Colombia: "I don't get it. So you've just done blow?"
Jeanne and Shannon say nothing. (I think they ended up getting stoned without me.)
So what do you think? Are you a member of the Never Been Baked Club? Are you proud? Ashamed?
Finally, is there any reason – ethical, health-related, or otherwise – to my remaining an NBBCer?
Reader Comments ( Page 4 of 38)
46. I found getting baked to be particularly comforting in high school when I was trying to mentally escape certain social and familial problems I was having at the time. But now I simply don't care too much for it. I think it is a highly over-rated vice. Yes, smoking copious amounts can lead towards mild hallucinations enjoyed from the couch with lots of unconsious eating at hand. On the whole a mild amount can make a day trip to the beach or the woods, or even a long walk from SoHo to Ground Zero on a summer day very entertaining in rather unexpected ways.
I lived in Europe for a while and greatly enjoyed many trips to the Netherlands, both for their acceptance and tolerance for cannibis and the highly-sophisticated atmoshpere of connoisseurship that has come along with a competitive marketplace. With a relaxed stance towards narcotics that grow naturally without much more human intervention than is done in any garden, cannibis is just another experience. And like any polite society it's a matter of personal choice; smoking shouldn't be around those that do not enjoy it, or are ill-advised to be around smoke for health reason.
Since I've returned to the US I have realized I don't enjoy marajuana as much. The 'moralists' won a battle earlier in this century, way before I or my parents was born, and put into effect a policy that makes it such a pain in the ass to find well clutivated flowers that it becomes a quest of the desperate. The black market, instead, makes enjoying cannibis that much more difficult. I personally wish this wasn't the case. As I said, the experience for myself has become highly overrated. I prefer my reefer in environments that aren't afraid, judgemental or paranoid about the unknown.
As a side note, first, I should also mention that if you compare the binge of cannibis to alcohol, you'll find latter to be much more painful the day after than the other. And, secondly, I have greatly appreciated the History Channel for their programming about the history of narcotics in the continental US.
artsikid at 4:06AM on Aug 24th 2007
47. Mo! Did Nancy Reagan's lecture on Different Strokes not teach you anything? Just say NO! ;-)
Kimberly
KC at 5:35PM on Aug 23rd 2007
48. Ah Yes, my sophomore year. Probably the best three years of my life. I could be wrong but it may make you wiser in the long run although completely stupid while doing it.
Steve Seivers at 5:37PM on Aug 23rd 2007
49. Yo Mo,
First off, marijuana is officially classified as a halucinogen. It can amplify and distort your senses including your thoughts. Smoking weed can lead to an opening of the mind and creative thinking, but also can cause paranoia in the wrong setting.
The creative component is the reason why jazz musicians originally started using the drug in the '20s. And why the Beatles suddenly went from mop-top goody-goodies to a tripped-out Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band during the '60s. Creatively speaking, it is great for musicians and writers.
So, I think you should definitely try it out to "open" your mind to new ideas and ways of looking at things. It will help your writing and will definitely help quell that tight-ass look on your face.
Besides, look what pot has done for the likes of Colbert and Carell and even John Stewart!!
Smoke weed today!
Your career will thank you tomorrow!
Finnstoned at 5:38PM on Aug 23rd 2007
50. Everyone's long winded today. It's not a big deal either way. Do what YOU want to do. Don't listen to us bozos.
Jeffrey Smith at 5:41PM on Aug 23rd 2007
51. I'm in the NBBC. All I can think of is everytime my friends do it, it smells like sh*t. I'm pretty nasally-sensitive, and it just reeks of grossness. I can tell right away if someone's been toting the reefer just by the smell.
But what I find funny is, anyone who's a bit of a pothead, can not handle their liquor. When I'm just starting to get a little bit buzzed, they're wasted.
Also, I'm not ashamed or proud in any such way of being a NBBC-er. I grew up around people doing it (and other drugs) and I just knew I wasn't missing anything. I do however know, it does lead you on to a path of doing harder drugs to get an even bigger and better high. Or at least, that's what's happened to a lot of people I know.
Either way, pot is for hippies. They wanna stick it to the man and all this crap, but what they don't realize is they're not contributing to society. Not just in a business sense but socially. As much as they want that care-free, lazy lifestyle, they become a burden on businesses. When you've got homeless hippies like Cali does, it's a burden on maintaining a good image for customers and owners alike. No one wants to smell hippies when they're eating at a posh restaurant by the bay.
And as far as those "ideas" and "feelings" people get, it's called the munchies. Those crap ideas happen when they're in need of scoring a new baggie. The little wheels start turning and churn out a few new sh*t ideas. There's ton of musicians who follow this path and flop.
Mahlia at 5:54PM on Aug 23rd 2007
52. Why do you want to blow your shot at an appointment to the supreme court?
I never smoked pot until I was in law school. Of course it was in Vermont where toking is de rigueur. I spent too many hours in desolate pastures staring at cows. Mo, cows are boring.
The last time was four years ago when I was leafing through my former husband's yearbooks and found a roach. I got so paranoid that I was convinced that the drug sniffing dogs at the police kennel eight miles away had caught onto my
illegal scent. Yeah, they were barking for me. The cops were on the way, they would take my kid away and my law license and my freedom for at least the night. My buzz served as its own buzz kill.
Take the "high" road and forgo. Have a nice single malt scotch.
Plus, the stuff that's around these days is a lot more potent and who knows what it is mixed with. I still remember the ABC Afterschool Special where a young Helen Hunt smoked an acid laced doobie and through herself though the second=story glass plate window of her high school. Scared straight yes'm.
Pot is for the kids. (or maybe not)
elizabunny at 5:58PM on Aug 23rd 2007
53. Actually studies have shown that tobacco is more of a "gateway drug" than marijuana. Marijuana should be legalized similar to tobacco. Then there would be less money wasted by the government trying to stop it, and it would generate much more revenue for the government. Plus the money from its sales would be taken away from gangs and other "criminals." The amount of people killed by marijuana each yeah is almost nothing compared to alcohol related deaths.
So, try it if you really want to know what the "buzz" is about
Johnny B at 6:03PM on Aug 23rd 2007
54. Wow, that's pretty wild. SIXTY percent of your readers think you should get stoned. Groovy.
Actually, let's forget about the pot issue for a second. Why do you neurotically perseverate in asking these questions? Isn't this rather analogous to "old-fashioned" blog?
I know a lot of people my age who either have or have not smoked pot in college. I do notice that some of the people who have never tried it tend to be a little anal, but its not that big of a deal.
My son has kind of a moralistic, thing with his friends about the whole pot issue, but he still laughs like hell at cheech and chong. I mean, he can transport himself there in his mind without having to do it. He's nineteen now, so although at some point he was definitely following my directions on not doing drugs, it's his choice at this point.
One of his friends came over one night and when Dylan was out of the room he asked me, "why doesn't Dylan smoke pot?"
"Because," I said, "he doesn't want to."
It's your decision. Why do you always ask us? If you want to try it, then try it. If not, then don't. Geez already.
Sydney at 6:05PM on Aug 23rd 2007
55. Whatever you decide Mo, realize the difference between the stereotype of what a smoker is and the reality. I know many people who have smoked for years, and have stereotypically done nothing with their lives; yet I know just as many who have become very successful, many of whom are business owners, and still smoke to this day. It is all what you let it do to you, and what you do to yourself. Maybe I haven't spent enough time in So. Cal., but the idea of hordes of homeless hippies sounds a bit ridiculous to me.
Kevin at 6:12PM on Aug 23rd 2007
56. Well, first off, it sounds like you're under the very questionable assumption that smoking spot is somehow immoral...
You should probably ask yourself, does morality lie in the letter of the law or in the spirit of the law?
...then look up the history of marijuana prohibition.
Alexander at 6:21PM on Aug 23rd 2007
57. YES!! I think alcohol should be illegal not marijuana!! Go ahead and smoke it up! You will enjoy it!!!
Nsyncdiva420 at 6:31PM on Aug 23rd 2007
58. I say do it, but don't just do it once. The first time I smoked pot, I hated it. I was nervous and jittery, I felt like the whole world could tell I was high. The second time, in contrast, was lovely, and started me years of casual use and recommendation.
And then I was confronted with a medical issue. I was on a pretty serious regime of pills for a few months that rendered me unable to eat without throwing up most of time. I didn't have any energy at all both from the not eating and the pills, so I slept a lot. I couldn't work. Looking for any bit of fun, I decided to indulge in a joint one night and found I could eat and keep food down, and as a nice side effect, I was a lot calmer.
Happily, I'm not on said pills anymore, but my attraction to pot goes way deeper than just liking to get stoned. I used to sort of laugh at those medicinal marijuana people, but I get it now.
So even if to better understand how it can help so many people, or just make bad movies funnier, I say smoke up, Mo.
Janis at 6:29PM on Aug 23rd 2007
59. Hi Mo,
Don't do it. Be your normal stressed out self. I did it for many years and finally in 1984 got clean... relapsed in 88 and have been clean ever since.
While others will tell you pot doesn't hurt you, I know better. Pot impacts your heart, your lungs as well as your thinking processes. You will carry trait elements of THC in your brain the rest of your life.
While the stoners out there will tell you it's all bull, I know first hand when I had a heart attack at age 41, I had been clean for years no drugs, no alcohol clean. And had a heart attack brought about by arrhythmia. They had no idea where it came from, they had no clue and when I told them my drug and alcohol history, they said that was it my smoking pot and cigarettes impacted the my heart. I had been clean 11 years.
I am now a professor of psychology who is developing a two year degree program on drug and alcohol counseling. I previously served as a child and family therapist working with kids addicted and mentally ill.
Have a drink once in a while, take care of yourself. Don't go to pot literally, it won't solve anything, and you wont get high the first time anyway. Yes there will be distortions of time and space and food may become more appetizing, but honestly, I wish I never started doing pot, I was 19 years old when I did, 31 when I quit and have been paying the price for my stupidity.
So, my advice is, don't it's a waste of time, money and your life
Professor Mike
(in recovery for 19 years)
Mykal at 6:29PM on Aug 23rd 2007
60. Don't do it. Your aren't missing anything. For a long time I was a proud bing-drinking, alcoholic. You know, the kind that gives "weekend warrior" a totally different meaning. Anyway I finally got baked out of my mind with my convict cousin who can get "the good stuff" that smelled like a Christmas tree and was just as sticky. Wait...what was I saying? And that's the problem. I was mid-sentence with my cousin when I turned my head and WHAMO! Gone. All memory of what I was doing milliseconds before was GONE. He laughed that Pauly Shore laugh and said he wished pot still affected him like that. After enduring the rest of the night like with his friends laughing every time my focus changed - because my sentence stopped too - I decided pot was not for me. No I prefer finishing a converstaion, tearing off on some long tangent and remembering why I puked in the sink instead of the toilet. You are type A. This stuff won't calm you down. It will just make you frustrated that you can't complete anything. Save yourself the time and stick to alcohol.
HoDaddy at 6:31PM on Aug 23rd 2007