Worse still, it was a gateway drug. Remember "Love Boat"? PCP mixed with pot. It turned you into a rapist and child-killer of superhuman strength.
Actually smoking pot was more than bad. It seemed positively evil. My father would return from his after-work jog around the field of Western Junior High School (right behind our house) and shake his head that some of the kids hanging out there in the evening were smoking marijuana. I shuddered. That he'd seen the face of evil and come back alive seemed almost miraculous.
So there, I've said it. I have never smoked pot.
In fact I've said it a lot, but my feelings on my pot-smoking virginity have begun to change...When I first announced to my college friends that I'd never smoked pot, I was kind of moralistic: I was disciplined enough to have never given in to temptation – not that I was judging anyone. (I rank "Moralistic" as the number #3 Most Unattractive Trait in People – right ahead of "Tax-cheating" and right behind "Dog-torturing.")
Indeed for the longest time I could only see the upside to being a member of the Never Been Baked Club: I was an obedient son. I was "high on life." I could one day be director of the DEA.
And It wasn't like a freak: I soon discovered that my friends Shannon and Jeanne were both NBBCers.
But now I've started to wonder...
The first doubt came when I met actor Cheech Marin at the Smithsonian Latino Center's "¡Smithsonian con Sabor!" event. It was a grand affair. Talk-show hostess Cristina was there, as was Governor Jeb Bush. But I was most excited to meet Cheech.
"I'm a huge fan," I gushed. "I've loved everything you've done."
Before those words had left my mouth, though, it struck me: I do love Cheech Marin. He's funny and supremely likable. I thought he was great in Tin Cup. But while I liked the Cheech and Chong movies, I didn't really get them. I didn't appreciate them like other people did. In fact I'd spent my life fake-laughing along friends to classic pothead comedy.
And here I was lying to Cheech Marin. I felt crummy. I had a few Caipirinhas, though, and forgot about it. (Photo at right: I met the new Juan Valdez at the same event.)Then came my "Aha!" (as Oprah would say) moment: One recent Tuesday morning, soon after I moved into my apartment, my bedroom was filled with a pungency that can only be described as herbal skunk. (I actually looked on my terrace for a skunk. I would have hated for a lost animal to fall from 12 stories up onto the Manhattan pavement.) I soon realized, "Wow. My neighbors are smoking marijuana ... on a weekday morning." How brash. How unconventional.
Then about a week later, I smelled it again. But it wasn't just coming from that side. Someone from the down the hallway on the other side was also getting stoned. Meanwhile I was my usual stressed-out self, biting my nails, shuttling between CNN, MSNBC, FoxNews, and E! (all the major news channels), trying to come up with a blog topic.
I'm kind of Type-A. I'm kind of a tight-ass. Maybe, I began thinking, I wouldn't be if I did a joint every now and then. Maybe blog topics would flow more freely. Maybe I could be as free as my pothead neighbors. (Yikes, I hope they're too stoned to read this.)
These days when I tell people I've never smoked pot, I say so with less conviction: "Isn't it funny?" I ask with a nervous laugh. "I mean, my mother is from Colombia and I've never been high!" Most don't think it's funny. They look at me with suspicion.
Others just don't get the "joke" about Colombia: "I don't get it. So you've just done blow?"
Jeanne and Shannon say nothing. (I think they ended up getting stoned without me.)
So what do you think? Are you a member of the Never Been Baked Club? Are you proud? Ashamed?
Finally, is there any reason – ethical, health-related, or otherwise – to my remaining an NBBCer?
Reader Comments ( Page 5 of 38)
61. After reading your newly edited sections:
Mo, I think peer pressure is the reason here, as is usually the case for most people who start smoking marijuana. If you don't feel comfortable with it or have no interest in it, then by all means, reject it. I smoke because it's a social thing and consider it no different than having a glass of lemonade and vodka with friends. Although to be honest, you are far more aware of your surroundings when high than when you're drunk. You're not a complete 'zombie' when you’re high, that’s just myth. You can thank 'Reefer Madness', the 30’s anti-drug propaganda film for all that crazy nonsense. As you know Mo, it’s also a musical!
But anyway, marijuana is a quintessential part of Americana, be it in film, literature, or just our culture. It has it’s positive sides, and it’s negative sides, as does everything. America will forever be intrigued by it, scared of it, and hateful of it. I personally can live without it and be happy and drug free. However, to smoke such a thing is to enjoy something truly historical, cultural, and, as any college undergrad will tell you, fun. It’s worth experiencing at least once in your lifetime. There’s no addiction or harmful health risks from smoking it for the first time. In moderation, it’s just about as dangerous as smoking, if not less.
Still, like I said. I can live without it. I enjoy getting my own personal ‘highs’ from observing society and writing. Marijuana though is a social stimulator and is better enjoyed in the company of friends, which is the only time I ever partake in it now. Yes, it’s not smart to smoke it daily, or for that part, weekly, but more so, it’s like a fine wine or cigar as I mentioned before. It’s savoring the moment and just enjoying life, as though it was no different than alcohol. If done in the right setting and atmosphere, it’s great. Although, I suppose that sounds dumb coming from a 19 year old college student, I guess, but considering I myself would much rather smoke a doobie than get ridiculously, painfully drunk on cheap beer, well, you make the call.
Your friend, Blayze “Shaggy” O’Brien from the Bee
Blayze at 6:36PM on Aug 23rd 2007
62. Alexander makes a good point about morality. I'm not a huge fan of marinjuana or it's use but I don't think it should be illegal. Of course, I feel the same way about prostitution, so you have to judge the source here. At any rate, other than the fact that it IS currently illegal, I don't see anything intrinsically immoral about pot. I don't see anything intrinsically immoral about alcohol. There might, however, be a basis for immorality in the abuse or misuse of either, although - it's an interesting question.
Sydney at 6:56PM on Aug 23rd 2007
63. Here's the deal-- I had the same opinion as you: smoking pot is immature and why have artificial fun when you can have real fun being the so called "high on life"!?
But I ended up trying it and well, hot damn, I liked it. Better yet, I was pretty much completely lucid, just extremely relaxed. Those classic "music sounds better", "food tastes better", and "everything is funny" stances are really quitetrue.
Alcohol on the other hand messes you up. Where's the lucidity in that? I was out of my mind when drunk and don't care to repeat those experiences.
I respect people who refuse to try marijuana and I understand the stigma surrounding it. But when the feds crack down on such a harmless drug (which is scientifically proven not to be addictive) and ignore the more pressing drugs that actually screw people royally, it just doesn't calculate correctly in my head.
Anyone who says, "Why try weed when you can just have a drink?" must be kidding themselves-- you would have had to experience both mediums to understand which one impairs you more. It's obvious: the alcohol.
Try if you want-- don't if you feel like it's not worth it. It's all about what you feel right. I was curious so I decided, what the hell? I thought it was pretty worth it, at least to just do every once and a blue moon.
Jonathan at 7:04PM on Aug 23rd 2007
64. Mo, I have given this a lot of thought, only because it's an important issue. Like liquor, tobacco, or any other "vice," there are vast options in variety, quality, and flavor when choosing pot, and you can find something that will just get you high, or you can find something that will be a full sense experience. I suggest if you decide that you want to give it a whirl - it is just a plant after all - know your product. There are two major varieties - indica and sativa - and innumerable flavors and strengths. Indicas are heavier and more of a body buzz, hence the "lazy" factor (like AK47). Sativas are more of a head high and can, in some, enhance creativity or simply enhance your sensual reality (like kali mist). Go to Amsterdam if you can - besides being historically, architecturally, and culturally stimulating, you can find quality herb with people who know how to enjoy it. You can eat it, vaporize it, or smoke it, and if you end up not liking it, you're also in a city renowned for its beer and gin. Remember: life is all about the experiences.
C at 10:32AM on Aug 24th 2007
65. Greetings Mo! I am a 60 year old professional female & have been smoking herb for approximately 30 years in the evening. It has never led me to any drug abuse, helps me to analyze the day's developments & solutions to challenges, enables me to experience a "lighten up" attitude with my spouse, and allows me to relax after a stressful day. People who abuse drugs are looking for a more powerful "high" than you can ever get from a few hits of pot. You become more aware under this helpful aide, not less.
Faye at 7:09PM on Aug 23rd 2007
66. You're casually inquiring if you ought to break the law? I'm sure you were going for some kind of tongue-in-cheek thing here, but it just isn't funny. Neither are the people who voted that you should do illegal drugs. What sort of thing is that to do to your body? Why would you want your money going to drug dealers? Do you understand this is the Internet and kids can and do read this article?
I can't believe this. Irresponsible, unfunny and uninformative. If your neighbors are breaking the law, report it to the police. Make *them* the butt of your attempts at humor.
J at 7:11PM on Aug 23rd 2007
67. I am part of the NBBC. I think that we are in the minority and that it is something to be proud of. I have known two people in my life who it became a gateway drug and their bright careers have been ruined. I also know people who have grown out of it and live a normal life. It has a different effect on everyone but that is not a chance I am willing to take.
Kim at 7:23PM on Aug 23rd 2007
68. It will change your whole aspect on life. It will bring beauty to the littlest things in life your have taken for granted.
Jane Zollner at 7:20PM on Aug 23rd 2007
69. I'm in the NBBC, largely because a lot of my family members have substance abuse issues, and I think my wiring is similar, so I'm wary of anything that messes with my central nervous system. Also, I have no use for smoking. Smoke by its ownself can't be good--if it were, firemen would not bust down doors to carry people out of burning buildings to keep them from inhaling smoke.
On other fronts, pot doesn't impress me. I have seen pot smokers laughing hilariously at farts lit by matches, as if they were watching the most witty exchange in the world. Also, pot seems to dull the edges of a crappy existence and make it more bearable, thus taking away the energy to change the situation. Hence, stoners with dead-end jobs living in mamma's basement. If your life sucks, fix it, don't smoke it away.
But you're a grown man--do what you want.
ciocia at 7:25PM on Aug 23rd 2007
70. I also have never smoked pot. I have also never had the urge to. I find a particular group of people can be applied to this illegal act. First, you are breaking the law. Second, you are giving a dealer business who inturn sells other more dangerous narcotics to our kids. I think people minimize the long term effects of pot. The facts are right there to see. Also, I get very angry at those who do smoke when they look at those who don't as "squares" or that there is somthing wrong with them. I also find the people who do smoke to try and suck others into their little innercircle who do not smoke. Drink Red Wine if you want to relax while also helping your heart.
Jason at 7:49PM on Aug 23rd 2007
71. I would first like to start off by saying, Mo I so admire that you have never done pot. I am a definite member of the NBBC, and proud of it! I do not think it is evil, I think it is a waste of time and energy. I am all about being alert and focused, and pot only damages that. It damages a person’s ability to stay on top of things. And on top of all that, it's a nasty drug to put in a body! Why would I want to risk my health, intelligence, and time over a chance to be baked? Also, I am a person who is seemingly stressed-out all the time and quite neurotic as well, but I would rather be both than use Marijuana for a reliever.
Game Theory for Applied Economics Nerd at 8:04PM on Aug 23rd 2007
72. Seems like I, too, am in the minority here. I am PROUD to be a NBBCer. I am 40 years old...my 22 year old brother, 23 year old sister and my sperm donar smoke themselves silly almost every day. I have NEVER EVER considered it. My sister had a FULL four year scholarship to Flagler to study journalism and gave it up for smoking pot and hanging out with her buddies. She is now an unwed, non working, still smoking mother of one. My brother was getting his A1 certification in computers and he too gave it up for the fun of being stoned all of the time. As for the sperm donar, when I was 6 months old he went to get a loaf of bread...two weeks later he called Mom and asked if she wanted milk wtih that bread...Mom told him in no uncertain terms ( so I am told ) that there was a circus in town join it and he did. From there his life when even further down hill. He wound up in a federal penitentary for 12 years because of all he did or tried to do while doing drugs. We never heard from him until he got out in 1983 and needed a stable place and address to report to his parole officer. I was 16 years of age when I met him for the first time. And life has been hell since then. The drugs( pot led to cocain and heroin and now it is prescription pain medication) drinking, mental, physical, verbal, and emotional abuse has done a number on the family. Brother and sister, although they have followed in his footsteps becasue they thought it was great when Dad got high with them, now no longer talk to him. They have stolen and sold everything of value out of the house.Sperm donar, who could not remember my name the first three years he was "home",and I have never had any kind of relationship becasue of what I saw when he came back into Moms and my life. My Mom, God rest her soul, suffered from COPD, emphysemia, CHF and severe depression for years and died in my arms in February because there was never any money for her medication and she could not breath due to all of the smoke in the hosue from the three idiots. So I guess what I am saying is that having that first joint and getting that first high may lead to an adverse and troubling life and I would not wish it on my worst enemy. I wish for my families sake things were different and I know that the drugs are not the entire reason that life has been, well, shitty, but is it worth the risk? Please,please weigh the pros and cons for your particular situation before you make your decision Mo. I am praying that you continue to be a member of the NBBC. Love ya Mo ! ! ! and once again, thanks for letting me ramble and put my two cents in...Lizzie
Lizzie at 8:08PM on Aug 23rd 2007
73. I voted yes. You're a writer! Every experience you have, good or bad, goes into what you do. This wouldn't have always been my vote. Throughout high school I was a virulent "just say no" supporter. With age came a certain relaxation and wisdom. Primary amongst these being "Not all drugs are bad". I waited until I was 25 to try pot for the first time. It was at a relaxed evening with some friends. I was in a good environment with people I trusted. There would never be a better time. It was not the earth shattering experience I had hoped for. I repeated the experience a few times over the next year or so and have to say it did finally work the way I was expecting it to. And that was that. I'm 31 now and haven't gotten so much as a whiff of it in years. I'm happy to say I've given it a shot. It's not really my thing but I think I'm a more well-rounded person for at least trying it and now, if I so choose, can recommend or decry the practice having at least experienced it myself.
Todd at 8:13PM on Aug 23rd 2007
74. Thank you, Mykal!
I am proud to say that I have never been baked. I don't even smoke cigarettes.
Pot f**ks up your brains. Please, babe, your brains are too precious to be f**ked with.
BTW, I like Cheech and Chong. Tommy's daughter, Rae Dawn Chong, is one of my favorite actresses! (I just had to give a shout-out.)
giftedgirl at 8:18PM on Aug 23rd 2007
75. Times they are a changing...what was a considered a big deal then isn't so much now... One thing...You'll enjoy it! No one says you have to become a stoner. You are still the master of your destiny. So whats the big deal? I don't see how anything that can make you appreciate the beauty of your senses can even be considered a crime. Taste, sound, visual perceptions, the peace of mind, finding the comedy in things...You aren't hurting anybody so whats the big deal. If you don't like it then maybe it's not your thing. So what. At least you would know.
Nadia at 8:50PM on Aug 23rd 2007