Miss Teen South Carolina Lauren Caitlin Upton has riveted the nation since her spectacular syntactical trainwreck last week. She may have lost the crown. (She ended up the third runner-up. You should have heard the fourth runner-up's answer!) But make no mistake, there were winners:
Aimee Teegarden, the devious questioner who deliberately threw Miss South Carolina a curve ball and came off looking like a super genius in comparison.
Mario Lopez, the host who all but licked his chops after coming face to face with the evening's easiest conquest.
ABC's Merry Miller, the "What's The Buzz" host who can finally escape the media glare after her interview of Holly Hunter. (Of course I'll be tuning in when Merry Miller interviews Miss South Carolina.)
And now you can be a winner!
It seems obvious that there was some sort of malfunction, short-circuiting. Did a jealous Aimee Teegarden mess with Miss South Carolina's fuse box? In retrospect it seems miraculous that Miss South Carolina's head didn't explode. (Some theorists hold that Miss South Carolina is a foreign terrorist plant, speaking code to signal sleeper cells. Nonsense. She's clearly a product of the American education system.)
But whether it was a hardware or software issue, one thing is clear: Miss South Carolina's answer included all the important pageant words. Among them: believe ... Americans ... education ... help ... future ("South Africa" seemed oddly dated. Was she running on a faulty version of Pageant '95?)
YOUR CHALLENGE: Reorder Miss South Carolina's words into a coherent answer. You cannot use any words that don't appear in the text below and you can only use a word as many times as it appeared in her answer. (e.g., "believe" appears three times, so you cannot use it more than three times.) You may use any punctuation you'd like, since after all, Miss South Carolina didn't use any at all. You don't have to use every word, though if you do, it's a slam dunk.
Submit your new answers in the comments section. I will put the five best answers to a vote.
THE PRIZE: I will send the winner my Kung Fu t-shirt. (It's pretty new. You can see the lines from where it was folded.)
HERE IS THE TEXT OF WHAT SHE SAID:
I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because uh some people out there in our nation don't have maps and uh I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and the Iraq everywhere like such as and I believe that they should our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for.
Now it's your turn to make it make sense! Good luck!!!
***
UPDATE:
The entries are fantastic so far. Thanks. I'll post the finalists this evening.
Also, I just saw Miss South Carolina on the Today Show. She said watching the clip of herself was like watching someone else take over her body - implying that she was possessed. I can see it now: a remake of The Exorcist with Miss South Carolina as Regan and Mario Lopez as Father Damian!
Reader Comments ( Page 55 of 55)
811. Ok, I'm not trying to submit a belated entry into this contest or anything. I just noticed that no new blogs or comments have been posted in quite some time today, and a comment I tried to post did not go through.
I wanted to do a "test" post on a friendly blog, and Mo, I know you won't judge me for using your space. Also seems that most of your readers are pretty tolerant and won't belittle me for this test either.
Let's see if there's some major malfunction in AOL NewsBlogger Land...
lin at 7:49PM on Sep 1st 2007
812. So now I'm left to wonder why my post didn't go through on that other blog? Durnit, and I had something worthwhile to say, too...
lin at 7:57PM on Sep 1st 2007
813. What Miss Carolina really meant to say:
I like our maps and … I should! THEY should! We should like that here in our nation. Americans believe in the U.S.! As for out there, people don't. Such as in Iraq, or South Africa, the Asian countries, and everywhere. Uh, some are unable to do so because the U.S should help build up the education that South Africa and Iraq have and believe over that. And so, such help, I personally believe, will be able to help the… uh… our… our future U.S. education.
Dave Kleiman at 5:05PM on Sep 2nd 2007
814. Used all but one word ("are")
Some people out there believe in maps, I personally don't. Iraq? South Africa? Uh everywhere like that? Should the U.S. Americans believe in the Asian countries such as Iraq, and should they believe in South Africa? Should we have to? Uh, and our education over here, and the future U.S. education should help build up our nation. I like that… and able or unable I will SO be that help! As for the U.S., the #$%@ to our #$%@ and such, help! So do our #$%@!
Dave Kleiman at 6:10PM on Sep 2nd 2007
815. Maps? U.S education and... The U.S and...
...
I PERSONANLLY BELIEVE: OVER IN ASIAN COUNTRIES, IRAQ, AND SOUTH AFRICA ALIKE PEOPLE DON'T HAVE UH FUTURE.
Americans should help uh build our nation everywhere.
Argiope at 12:14PM on Sep 14th 2007
816. here's my take...I did use every word!
“I believe that the U.S. Americans unable to believe education are so-so. Uh, some people in OUR nation, the Iraq, believe that OUR education should help our future, as in uh, the countries or- or- we should help South Africa and uh, the U.S. help everywhere out there and over here. The Iraq should build up our will that they uh in the U.S. don't have and such
and Because I like maps, such as South Africa, I personally should like to be Asian
and uh, do-able”
ed-
Scott at 10:55AM on Oct 16th 2007