WE HAVE A WINNER(S): Miss South Carolina Word Scramble

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WE HAVE A WINNER(S): Miss South Carolina Word Scramble

Posted Aug 31st 2007 9:10PM by Mo Rocca

The polls have closed and the winner is Kal, with his portrayal of a frantic Miss South Carolina, terrified of globalization and the rise of China:

"Iraq . . . . the U.S. . . . Africa . . . SOUTH Africa . . . they are everywhere in our maps!! I personally don't have uh future. For our nation to build up our education like the Asian countries, people should HELP because I be unable to do so!!!!! And, uh . . . like, I believe that we should help our Americans over there in Iraq believe that such education will help out here in the U.S. . . . or the South and as in such . . . and so, should some believe the U.S. as that able?"

Congratulation, Kal, you get my kung fu t-shirt! We will be in contact shortly for your address.

HOWEVER we readily admit that a mistake was made here at Mo Rocca 180. Themkickingpoe submitted a rearrangement that at first blush seemed brilliant. As the writer put it, "notice the overriding message spelled out by the first letter in each row. Coincidence? Or is there more to Miss Teen SC than meets the eye?":

"I like our
nation, and

they should
have some
education over here.

Should I believe in so-so South Africa,
or the Asian countries such as that Iraq? In the
u.s., we believe that
the U.S. should
help the U.S.

I do believe that

americans and the South are able
to build our
education...

and unable to help,

like, uh, Africa
out
there. And,

our
future and
maps,
uh,
don't personally help

people up... such as in
iraq.
everywhere
should be for our will. Because."

The submission was given an Honorable Mention after someone on staff counted the words, determined that the writer had used too many, and declared the submission ineligible. (Full disclosure: That someone was me.)

After an outcry from readers that we'd miscounted the words, we convened an emergency editorial meeting to discuss the matter. The session was at times heated, with several staff members insisting that even if a mistake had been made, we stand firm on the initial declaration - and rush a story on the new Bionic Woman to avoid controversy. Others invoked the Quiz Show scandals of the 1950s and the possibility that all blog-based contests could lose credibility if a mistake were not rectified.

The argument was largely academic, since we still hadn't recounted the words. We did that. And determined that we screwed up. And that we were going to be found out eventually if we didn't fess up fast.

And so, we declare TWO WINNERS. Congratulations, Kal, and co-winner Themkickingpoe (nee Robyn).

Robyn, we will be in touch for your address. As for your t-shirt, I've got several options:
- a "Free Winona" tee (from her shoplifting arrest)
- a Jerry Van Dyke malt shop tee
- a light blue tee with a caricature of, um, me on the front (made by the kids at UT when I went to speak there)

Thanks all for playing!!

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Reader Comments ( Page 1 of 1)

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jvdclcfagb at 10:39AM on Jan 24th 2009

2. I ahhhh use "GPS"! And todays future humans uh dont want to waste paper on maps uh.. and we need to save trees as well as uh the asain places like Iraq. And therefor I stand for the U.S. plan for I am the future dream.

Jody at 12:37PM on Aug 31st 2007

3. dear sweet MO

doesn't your computer count words for you??

but how about that for fairness. wtg my hero, MO

Alexandria at 3:09PM on Aug 31st 2007

4. now can we have a vote on which tee she'll choose?

Alexandria at 3:10PM on Aug 31st 2007

5. I am thrilled "themkickingpoe's" entry is getting the recognition it deserves. And bravo to you, Mo, for having the moral courage to set the record straight on your editorial staff's lapse (seriously though, dude ... Word Count! It's right there on your Toolbox! It's your friend!)
If only other people in positions of power would be so readily able to admit they made a mistake (President Bush, CBS Evening News, Howard K. Stern) the world would be a better place indeed.

Anyway ... Can we see the new T-shirt choices? I am really curious about the Jerry Van Dyke.

Dina at 5:01PM on Aug 31st 2007

6. Regarding themkickingpoe; automatically titling her co-winner is unfair to the other entries that were voted as well as all the other people who feel their entry was deserving. I agree her entry's hidden message was neat, but let's not award her a Nobel prize for it . . . you can rearrange just about any paragraph to say something clever. e.g.:

Iraq . . . .
the U.S. . . . Africa . . .
SOUTH Africa . . .

they are everywhere in
our maps!! I personally don't have uh future. For
our nation to

build up our education like the
Asian countries, people should HELP because I be unable to
do

so!!!!! And, uh . . . like, I believe that we should help
our Americans over there in Iraq believe that such education

will
help out here in the U.S. . . . or the South
and as in such . . . and so, should some believe the U.S. as
that able
?

By all means give her a t-shirt for miscounting the words, but stop stealing my limelight! Thanks for the t-shirt, Mo!

Kal at 6:38PM on Aug 31st 2007

7. Can I get the light blue tee with the caricature of you on it Mo? Considering you did insult me on stage in front of hundreds of people including a former president, a t-shirt should be the starting point of your apologies and to ease my psychological trauma.

If not, can you at least sign my copy of 'All the Presidents’ Pets'?

And congrats to Kal and Robyn! Great work!
Your friend, Blayze “Shaggy” O’Brien from the Bee

Blayze at 9:19PM on Aug 31st 2007

8. I don't know what pleases me more... the prospect of an article of clothing associated with Jerry Van Dyke, or being the cause of such cleavage in the MR180 audience.

I'm going with the shirt. This controversy will soon be overshadowed by yet another starlet arrest or Republican sex scandal. Jerry Van Dyke, however, will never go out of style.

To Mo- I must admit that I find it difficult to respect someone who doesn't stand firm in their initial decision, even if he is totally and utterly wrong. I've had great confidence in you as a judge, ever since your landmark decision in the "Hawaiian Moonfish" battle. This decision seems to tarnish your judicial reputation. Are you SURE about this?

Oh, and thanks! To show my appreciation, I'd like to donate to a charity in your honor. Seeing as though I am in grad school (and therefore debilitated by debt), I am pleased to offer 3 choices of web-based charities for which I need only click to donate. Shall I...

1: click to provide free mammograms

2: click to protect endangered habitats

or

3: click to help cute little cuddly kitties and puppy dogs get some yummy food

Let me know, and I will get on it.

To Kal- Man.... tough break. You totally should have thought to rearrange your entry like that before. You probably would have gotten 2 t-shirts.
I apologize if I was out of line. It was never my intention to tilt, so I'd like to make it known that you are without a doubt the best, smartest, handsomest, most virile contestant to enter the "Miss South Carolina Word Scramble." I am immediately going to return my Nobel. I kind of want to keep my Newbery medal though. (I already spilled something on it.)

Robyn

p.s. Hey Mo, I saw you on "Tonight" and was captivated by your sandals in the bike-riding scene. I still cant get them out of my mind.

themkickingpoe at 10:12PM on Aug 31st 2007

9. That kind of sucks for themkickingpoe...

....But congrats Kal! Your portrayal of Miss South Carolina being afraid of globalization and a rise of China, is quite good humor from an economist's standpoint. Haha, to bad in real life she probably has no idea where China is.

Game Theory for Applied Economics Nerd at 11:38PM on Aug 31st 2007

10. I'm still with Flavor Flav on this one. It's an act - she's genius.

http://www.newsgroper.com/flavor-flav/2007/08/29/maps/

Brad at 11:48AM on Sep 1st 2007

11. Way to set it straight, Kal. While kudos should be given to themkickingpoe for the original concept, the execution is purely second grade - as my 8 year old just proved to me.

Nik at 1:21PM on Sep 1st 2007

12. did anyone but me hear her say, as she stepped back, "and for the children," or something like that. Check again, if you didn't hear it.

deborahrose at 5:18PM on Sep 2nd 2007

13. This isn't as cool as themkickingpoe's submission, but I took Miss South Carolina's "speech" and ran it through a poem generator. Here's what I got:

Iraq, U.S., Africa, SOUTH Africa,
They are everywhere maps sciatica
Don't uh future nation build
Education Asian countries people build
HELP because unable do so!!!!!
And, uh, believe should so!!!!!
Americans over Iraq believe such
Education help here so much
So, uh, we should believe U.S.

I thought it actually made more sense this way.

Seth at 5:39PM on Sep 2nd 2007

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Mo Rocca appears on a bunch of shows, including CBS News Sunday Morning (with the indescribably wonderful Charles Osgood), The Tonight Show on NBC, and NPR's Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! He's a sometime judge on Iron Chef and was featured on Telemundo's Amore Descarado. Last year he starred on Broadway in the 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. His expose "All the President's Pets" was published by Crown in 2004.