Last month I made a jaunt to Berlin, to write about the Ritz-Carlton Berlin's new sleep clinic. It's a weekend hotel package for people who want to learn to sleep more soundly. I'll admit that I was skeptical: with jet-lag, all I would need is an Ambien and a couple of glasses of red wine to knock me out for four days straight.
It also seemed counterintuitive to fly all the way to Berlin only to have Germans shouting at me to "RELAX!" What would they do to me? I imagined clinicians in white lab coats, with eyeglasses more severe than mine, attaching electrodes to my body, administering shocks, then jotting notes on clipboards, before shutting me in darkness for days. Would I turn out like Steve Guttenberg in The Boys From Brazil? (I like Steve Guttenberg. He volunteered for a week helping Katrina survivors at the Houston Astrodome.)
It turned out I had little to fear. There was nothing remotely fascist about the luxurious La Prairie creams, with specks of gold and infusions of caviar, slathered on my body as part of the sleep program's relaxation phase. Indeed for days I was steamed, sloughed, kneaded, and glazed.
The only thing that felt "experimental" was the forced wearing of the "brain light." (For a moment, I expected to hear a drill-wielding Laurence Olivier ask, "Is it safe?" Different movie, I know.) But the results of my Schlaf Profil (sleep profile) mandated that I wear the brain light. And I wasn't about to ask questions. For heaven's sake I was in Germany. Of course I followed orders!
All this pampering made me feel like a capitalist pig in sh#t! The hotel is located just on the Western (free) side of where the Berlin Wall once stood.
To get a taste of how the other half used to live, I forked over fifty bucks for the chance to drive a Trabant. The "Trabbi" was the car that pretty much everyone in the communist East drove - that is, everyone who waited twelve years for a car. (Its value was only slightly more than that of the loaf of bread you'd wait nine years to get.) Now they're collectors items, rented out for hugely enjoyable Trabbi Safari caravan tours. I chose to ride in the blue one:
Don't be fooled by how hot I make this piece of kitsch look. If you ever needed proof of the inefficiency of the communist system, observe a Trabbi when the rain begins to fall:
FOUR people to put the top on this Trabbi convertible?! What's more, the car has no cooling system which means it overheats going up the slightest of hills. And the fixtures aren't much more reliable. The tour guide reached to adjust the rear view mirror in this Trabbi and ...
Oops.
The Berlin Wall, of course, is still the greatest reminder of communism's failure. Many people don't realize that the wall was really two parallel walls. The East Germans (and Soviets) built the second wall about 100 yards inside their own territory. Meanwhile the West fearlessly built shops and homes all the way up to the edge of the actual border: it's not like anyone wanted to escape to the East. The East, on the other hand, could bark all it wanted that the Wall was meant to protect the East from the West; the construction of the inner wall was physical proof that what they really feared was the loss of their own citizens to a better place.
Above: This thin strip of bricks runs along the path where the
Berlin Wall once stood.
Sitting in my Ritz-Carlton suite in Potsdamer Platz, overlooking the space between walls that was once known as the "death strip," it's nice to know that at least some places in the world are better than they used to be.
(photo credit above: Roger Mena - www.menaphoto.com)
You think East Germans ever had it like this?!
Reader Comments ( Page 1 of 3)
1. Aw Mo,
As much as I'd like to comment on what's holding up that bathtub tray,
I have to dive into a discussion of the Potsdam-- No relation to what you said to the kid who was playing on the livingroom floor.
The Cold War began with U.S. arrogance over possessing the Atomic bomb and, subsequently, East/West paranoia, resulting in artificial boundaries and power conflicts.
Granted, if FDR didn't die or if Truman was briefed on foriegn policy (he didn't know about the bomb until he was sworn in) things might...oh hell, this is turning into a three credit course--Blayze can you help me out here?
On a sober note: Hank Kimball leads in Iowa straw polling among all straw that intends to vote.
Kimball '08
John Giza at 6:52PM on Sep 15th 2007
2. Well John, President Truman really had no idea what the atomic bomb was capable of doing. He was indeed in the dark about the whole Manhattan Project up until FDR’s death as you noted. Being an artilleryman back in WWI, Truman thought that this devastating weapon of mass destruction was little more than a super-sized artillery shell, and even after a decent briefing of the Manhattan Project, he still didn’t have a good grasp on the whole issue. It’s always been a debatable issue yet it will remain a tense subject for years to come.
Reports from Hiroshima victims say they saw a struggling plane dumping what looked to be “cargo”, but instead was the bomb. Scary stuff.
Also to date, Truman held the lowest approval ratings in the history of presidents since approval ratings were first documented (late 1930’s). The second is Nixon and the third you ask? George W. Bush.
Funny thing is a few years ago, a poll was conducted on what president’s likeness should be emblazoned on coin money. The winner, Harry Truman. Could Bush be on some type of super-penny in the future? I shudder to think.
As for you Mo, get out the tub and put some pants on. Sheesh.
Blayze at 7:14PM on Sep 15th 2007
3.
You look like the paragon of relaxation. I assume your jet-lag disappeared, and I assume you approve of the sleep/relaxation clinic.
,
Why is that tub built for little people ?
It looks like you had a fun trip and your pictures are adorable. Thanks for the history of the Berlin Wall. I never knew there were two walls.
Have a great weekend!!!!!!!
marsha beckerman at 7:19PM on Sep 15th 2007
4. Ay ya AY Mo! ¡Muchas gracias for the eye candy! You certaintly made my día. ;-)
conflay at 7:24PM on Sep 15th 2007
5. Oooo...I want a Trabbi! A Ralph Nader model. BTW...how was your sleep?
Kristen at 7:25PM on Sep 15th 2007
6. Aw Mo--(bypassed)
I knew my friends would bail me out.
Although, I think Harry Truman is gaining currency because historians are recognizing his courage and honesty. And he grew in office. That makes a nice nickel, no?
Hank Kimball announces his first celebrity endorsement: This Spring, Jimmy Buffett will be touring with his "See Me Before I Am Dead" tour, with all proceeds going to the Kimball for President campaign.
Don't fear Buffett fans, this is just a stunt like Cher's farewell tour.
Kimball '08
John Giza at 7:30PM on Sep 15th 2007
7.
With the opening of the movie Eastern Promises and the full frontal nudity of Viggo Mortensen. Male nudity is in vogue. It's about time for equal nudity. I read that scrotum are the new cleavage. In other words NEXT TIME LOSE THE BATH TRAY.
marsha beckerman at 7:48PM on Sep 15th 2007
8. Your hot rod is sort of obscured in that photo, but I'm sure its a fun enough ride... for a novelty kind of experience.
Curious... are you really a milk drinker, or is that one of those photo prop things?
themkickingpoe at 8:13PM on Sep 15th 2007
9. Hiya, Mo!
So! You had a wünderbar time in Berlin! How very!
I could say I am envious, but in *my* neck of the woods we have other places for relaxation quite as effective.
I've always had nightmares of the Albert Speer Berlin. I don't know why.
I loved your hot-rod. I recommend, and highly at that, a Laurence Harvey/Mia Farrow movie called "A Dandy in Aspic" -- when (and if) you see it, I'm sure you'll know why I recommend it.
A big hug.
Spain reads you, Mo!
Miguel Cane at 8:15PM on Sep 15th 2007
10. Confound it! Now you have me craving a cigar and there aren't any in the house. Out of brandy, too.
Jeffrey Smith at 8:16PM on Sep 15th 2007
11. Marsha, Marsha, Marsha,
Not like you to get so dirty!
I guess you should jump into the bath.
(not like me to comment this late either, btw.)
Oh, and hey, themkickingpoe, stop being funnier than I am, it's giving me a complex!
And Mo, if you're in their somewhere: cheers!
Adios mis amigos, see you Monday,
Kimball/Obama '08
John Giza at 8:44PM on Sep 15th 2007
12. I'm very curious about how that last picture was taken. Did you have someone standing over you, straddling the bathtub?
As for the Truman discussion, I've heard historians compare Bush to Truman, implying that one day he will be remembered with more favor as well. If they're right, seeing Bush on some form of currency may not be too far-fetched. Of course, if his foreign policy precipitates Armageddon...
Finally, I think the act of going to east Germany itself would improve sleep. I find it so dreary. Try relaxing in Munich!
Dunkly at 9:08PM on Sep 15th 2007
13.
JOHN: I have a multiple personality. I never know which" me" will show up. Just kidding. Seriously , everyone has different facets to their personality.
I was just about to correct my grammar. But then I remembered that MO thinks its sexy. So nevermind!!
marsha beckerman at 9:17PM on Sep 15th 2007
14. that's hot.
Mahlia at 9:23PM on Sep 15th 2007
15. Not going to go there; I've spoiled you enough already.
Glad you had a good time.
giftedgirl at 9:26PM on Sep 15th 2007