1. I think one or the other falls out of love once the reason they married is met. In my case, I had a husband that needed a home and a steady income so he could live decently and start a business that I also funded and worked in. Once the business became very successful and the money started rolling in,I was no longer necessary. So he no longer "loved me." There have been men in the meantime and the minute they find out I have 2 nickels to rub together, I can't get rid of them without being nasty. I'm looking for an equal partner, not another mooch or a savior, therefore, I'm still looking.

michelle at 2:08PM on Sep 18th 2007

2. I think couples fall out of love after they put other things before their love. As a person who has been with the same man for 26 years, married for 20 of those years we have been through it ourselves. After a couple has a family, and careers they tend to forget about taking to be together as a couple. Motherhood brings challenges to a relationship because females tend to get into the "mommy mode" and forget we are sexual human beings with our own needs and we also forget the needs of our husbands. Taking care of a family is tiring and difficult sometimes and we get lost in that, but we can pull ourselves out with the help of our partner. Mom's don't feel sexy all the time, and it helps if at the end of a long day we are reminded that we are sexy and we aren't just someones mom but we are also someones lover and partner in life. There is also another big problem that causes couples to fall out of love and that is we as a society are so career and money oriented that we forget everything that is really important when we are trying to out do the Smiths and the Jones. When a person or person's are working 10 to 15 hours a day, and come home to do more work by computer or via cell phone this takes a toll on home life, or love life. People begin to resent each other and life as we once knew it starts to crumble right in front of us.

Tyree at 2:42PM on Sep 18th 2007

3.
Marriage is tough work - it does not "just happen."
Why do you think more and more people remain single now?
Let's face it - women have achieved career wise what men have. If a woman does not need a man financially, and she cannot find a good man who wants to commit or give of himself emotionally,why would she marry? She can have children without a husband, and support herself. Indeed, why?
If I were a woman, I wouldn't marry most of the men out there.

David S. at 2:44PM on Sep 18th 2007

4. I agree with David S. Marriage is the hardest thing a person will ever do because you have to contiuously work at the marriage. Its like a garden, what happens to a gardern if you stop tending to it? If this situation had been me I would have been upset at first but then after thinking it through I probably would have laughed myself silly with the realization that I had picked my husband all over again out of all the people I could have picked.

Tammy Ashley at 3:14PM on Sep 18th 2007

5. That's a cheepened marriage, michelle.

Michelle at 1:09AM on Sep 19th 2007

6. Boy,#1Michelle is a sad individual and unfortunately the epitome of the American woman. She will spend the rest of her life looking and looking and looking and going from unhappy relationship to unhappy relationship and constantly blaming it on these" unsuitable and unfit men who always have this issue and that issue and why, and why, and why????" I'm sorry that you will never be happy. If you would get your priorities straight in life and then make the appropriate changes in you to make yourself accommodating to the man......you will have a permanent lifelong arrangement. It apparently is not that important to you.
There is no such thing as "Falling" in or out of Love. That is nonsense. Love?? is a knowledge base issue that takes years to acquire. What you are talking about is a Hormone, Metabolism driven passionate illusion or delusion of love that our culture likes to facade and perpetuate. It is purely animal instinct and for the purpose of functional procreation, nothing more. We like to make it appear as something so wonderful and special and magical when our Endocrinological forces have us in their throws but the viciousness, cruelty and ferocity, inhumanity that can be applied to rid someone of the other and rapidly bond to another when the winds of Metabolism shift can far exceed any perceived joy and "love" previously felt.

KrautKnabe at 3:03PM on Sep 19th 2007

7. "Marriage is tough work"? What a load! We just celebrated our 12th anniversary, we have a fantastic relationship - always have. If there was work involved, God, that would suck all the joy out of it, now, wouldn't it? If it takes that much effort, you're with the wrong person.

Cheryl at 5:02AM on Sep 20th 2007

8. don't think it's sad. the logic: both wanted out of marriage. both went out looking for another mate. they meet as strangers online. fall in love. consequently, discover their connection-double shock!!- and then realize each other's "infidelity."

though their decision is comical its logic is solidly based on the fact that they were INITIALLY and PRIMARILY unhappy in their original union. their cyberspace "love" was separate from the reality-based marriage. recognition only enhanced their original problem: their marriage was a failure.

boredwell at 11:35AM on Sep 20th 2007

9. Cheryl, if you think that in order to maintain something valuable by hard work is a load, then you absolutely have, I really wouldn't know how to describe it. Maybe you do not have children or only one and you both don't work your tails off 12-18 hours a day.
What it begins as is lust gradually making it's way to love and then to a companionship, best friends.
I have been married 23 years and now it is over, kaput, finis'. The reason that it upset me is because I lost something that is very valuable, time. Time that I will never get back.
So, I begin anew, I do things I've put on the back-burner for husband, kids, starting a corporation, now I will get to do things I've always wanted to do. ME time. My daughter's are grown and have all they need. Time for what I missed. Sometimes the end is the beginning....

libleftiepinko at 12:22AM on Sep 21st 2007

10. I can tell you when love ends... It ends whenever you decide to let it end.

See, love isn't actually a feeling. It's a choice. Love is sacrifice. As long as you put the other person's needs and wants over your own, you're in "love". As soon as you start asking, "what's in it for me?", it's on its death bed.

You want a healthy life-long marriage? Stop thinking about yourself, your own happiness, and what you want, and start thinking about the one you married. (They should, in turn, do the same for you, but even if they don't you can still have a good marriage.) Couples who are not self-obsessed and self-indulgent stay together indefinitely. The rest flounder as soon as the hormonal honeymoon is over.

Emily Hopper at 12:42AM on Sep 21st 2007

11. The Colbert Nation Shall Rule the Earth!
Long live Stephen Colbert!

Dante at 2:43AM on Sep 21st 2007

12. I ran across this ite, trying to understand why women fall out of love, as my wife of 23 years has.
I am still in love with her. And she insists she is still in love with me. But I know the differance. Because she really was once in love with me. But the feelings she had for me, the feed back I felt from her, are gone. Simple as that. She loves me, no doult, but not in love. She has had sex once in a while with me if I really kept after her. But she hasnt made love to me in 3 years. I thought there was another man. But it turns out theres not. I need her love, her passion, I dont want another woman. But I cant take it anymore. I am going to end the marriage and her pain. I love her to much to have her live like this. And I cant share a bed with the woman I love if she dont love me.
I know many may reply and say Iam a fool. Find out whats wrong. Believe me folks, thats all I have done for the last 5 years, I love her that much. 5 years of trying to make her want me again. She doesnt want the devorce. And she said she dont know why she feels this way. She cant admit to herself that she HAS fallen out of love with her husband of 23 years, 3 kids, and one grand child.
I never thought this would come to devorce, but if any other man made her look so unhappy as she does, I would end him.
So, This is the last stop on the internet for me, and the first time I have ever spoken about it to a public forum. It feels offical I guess.
Guys, if you see problems, unhappieness in your wife. Find the problem quick, before it happens to you and your wife.
Worst part is, I am also leaving my best friend, and the mother of my kids. (all ground but 1, 17 year old son.) God help us. And forgive us for what this has done to him.

Dave at 2:21AM on Oct 5th 2007

13. Your comments: I can relate to what Dave is going thru. I've been married for 15 years and I am madly in love with my wife. However, she has falledout of love with me. I am having a very difficult time comprehendingthis feeling, because I love her and have always put her first. I don't know how and when this feelingof falling out of love started, but it is tearing me apart. I feel for my kids as they are very young. I've posed the divorce card because living in separate rooms is not how I want to live with my wife. I posed the divorce option because I thought there was another person. I really regret doing so. I still don't understand the"falling out of love" feeling and becuase of this we have had many heated arguments and have probably said things we really don't mean. Anyways Dave, like I said, I can relate to your feelings and wish you happiness again. I am a lost soul and don't know if I am doing the right thing?????

Roger at 11:55AM on Oct 5th 2007

14. That's what fools you are....Don't you know that women are only capable of loving themselves??
You were PUNKED!!!!.....ha ha,..Chumps...


You're gonna look awfully stupid when they run you through THEIR system now and fleece your asses on top of it as a coup de gras......
But that's what you deserve.....

Tellison at 1:29AM on Oct 9th 2007