The ears are ordered according to how well they finished in the poll. The parentheticals indicate their order in the initial quiz.
1. Barack Obama - 24% (Ear 4)
2. Katee Sackhoff, aka Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica - 18% (Ear 7)
3. John Edwards - 16% (Ear 8)
4. Chris Dodd - 12% (Ear 5)
5. Dennis Kucinich - 10% (Ear 6)
6. Mike Gravel - 9% (Ear 2)
7. Joe Biden - 8% (Ear 3)
8. Bill Richardson - 4% (Ear 1)
At first glance the results are good news for Obama. He's got a great ear. Youthful and sprightly. (Dennis Kucinich's ear is a pale imitation.)
But Obama wasn't competing with Hillary. (Many of you mistook Katee's ear for Hillary's. Unfortunately the Clinton campaign would not grant clearance on a closeup of her ear.) So is Obama's victory here hollow?
I can't help but think of West Virginia's 4'11" Mary Lou Retton vaulting to gold at the '84 Olympics. I loved Mary Lou Retton and wanted to be inspired by her gold - but the Soviets had boycotted the games. Sure she beat Ecaterina Szabo (Romania's Katee Sackhoff). But did Retton really deserve the cover of Wheaties? It's kind of like Tom Harkin winning the '92 Iowa Caucuses when no one else competed.
Or am I being hyper-critical?
Moving on ... John Edwards persistence is paying off, though you'd think for $400 they could clean up around the ears! Sheesh!
Chris Dodd has a nice meaty lobe. Is that the reason for his surprisingly strong finish? Or is it the publicity behind his moving his whole family, including two small kids, to Iowa? If all else fails, his misadventure might make for a riveting C-SPAN reality series. "In Dodd We Trust"? "Dodd and Country"? Or maybe even a sitcom. Eva Gabor's not around. But maybe Zsa Zsa can play Mrs. Dodd?
Mike Gravel has been a great tonic to the campaign. He's no nuisance, rather the supreme campaign gadfly - keeping the rest of them as honest as possible. His ear is too greasy, though. The shine is distracting. I'd recommend a Clinique astringent or exfoliant. (I would have recommended Kiehl's, but they stopped sending me free stuff.)
Joe Biden would have done better, but his ear is out of focus.
I'm happy to report that Bill Richardson (aka "My Big Fat New Mexico Governor") finished dead last. Sorry, but I'm not a fan. I visited Santa Fe for Thanksgiving three years ago and wrote him a long handwritten note afterward giving my impressions. He never wrote back. This is no small slight, considering I hawked his crapass salsa at the '04 convention, even mentioning it on Larry King Live. (Yes, Richardson slapped his face on jars of salsa.) I won't be returning to Santa Fe anytime soon. It's a beautiful city but the governor who resides there is very impolite. So take your Nambé and shove it in your last place ear!
**
Krakovia is coming back to clean tomorrow. I'll be at Dr. Saguaro's when she lets herself in. What cleaning solution should I leave in the bathroom for the floor? Please advise.
Reader Comments ( Page 1 of 5)
1. j3Hello. I found Britney Spears Nude video :) Enjoy..
..
http://sexy-tube-world.net/view.php?Britney_Spears_Nude
..
..
lpicuwklij at 10:54AM on Jan 24th 2009
2. On the cleaning solution tip, try the Mr. Clean Multi Surface Cleaner. We use it constantly at the restaurant, and its great!
But, word to the wise, don't use the lemon flavor. It makes your entire house smell like fruity pebbles. Blah!
Jacqueline at 12:14PM on Oct 29th 2007
3.
"Chris Dodd has a nice meaty lobe. Is that the reason for his surprisingly strong finish?"
No Mo, I believe it was the heavy campaigning done by bloggers FINN and John Giza.
Vote Ear #5 '08
"Moving into 3rd place, thanks to a Katee Sackhoff disqualification!"
FINN at 12:52PM on Oct 29th 2007
4.
For the bathroom floor go to the health food store and buy a seventh generation product. It is non-toxic ,biodegradable,vegetable based, no alcohol, solvents , dyes or fragrances. Think of the environment, also no horrrible fumes. I am glad you did not have to break up with Krakovia.
I think the poll results for the candidates are confusing . Everyday I hear results of a different polls. The iowa poll has Hillary ahead . But other polls have diffeent results. However I think hillary is in the lead most of the time and the political, pundits agree she is immune from criticism no matter what Obama says she has it covered.
I guess Bill is really running again but with an allias named Hiillary.
HAVE A GREAT DAY AND GET CONTACTS. OH YEAH THE IMAGE, SORRY. LOVE YA, MARSHA
marsha beckerman at 12:59PM on Oct 29th 2007
5. Finn,
Take heart. It was a good showing for Ear #5. Truth is, it may just be too early for voters to take a serious look at the candidates ears. Maybe Mo should rerun this after the holidays.
I don't get the Mary Lou Retton piece. Finn, how big was that "apparatus" she was jumping over? Methinks it was bigger than a caulk gun.
Mo, if you want a change in Krakovia's behavior and want to get the floor clean, I'd suggest Vodka.
Kimball/Ear#5 '08
John Giza at 1:12PM on Oct 29th 2007
6. For the floor I recommend Simple Green. Krakovia can dilute it in a bucket for swabbing the deck or she can spray it direct.
I think it says alot that Hillary's group wouldn't make her ear available to the constituents.
mo-NEEK-a at 1:24PM on Oct 29th 2007
7.
JUST PICTURE THE EAR-LECTION. ARE THEY GOING TO SERVE WAX ?
How will you tell the difference between the blue state ears from the red state ears? The ear-vention should be very interesting. See you there. Maybe Mo can Host. He will be ear-resistible.
marsha beckerman at 2:52PM on Oct 29th 2007
8. Marsha,
I stand corrected. Mo is not a Red Sox fan.
He is a Missing Monogrammed Socks fan.
So, simply do this:
Take that missing sock, fill it with chocolate covered Q-tips and leave it on your doorstep.
Eventually, Mo will show up.
Blayze, are you taking a page out of this book?
Hey, do you know how much ear-wax candles go for on EBAY?
Kimball/Both Ends '08
John Giza at 3:11PM on Oct 29th 2007
9.
Ear me now and believe me next year...
The ear that can hear the debate questions clear will be the ear that will persevere when election time draws near!
And I think we all know who that will be:
http://blogs.news-journalonline.com/tvjunkie/moracca.jpg
Rocca/Colbert '08
"America talks, they listen!"
FINN at 3:15PM on Oct 29th 2007
10. I got tired of reading the topic so I made this.
http://www.thecheezburgerfactory.com//completestore/128381589530087500THISISROCCAAA.jpg
I also second the vodka as a cleaning agent.
Blayze at 3:19PM on Oct 29th 2007
11. mo, i use ammonia diluted in water. the smell is not as strong as you think...and you can use it on all surfaces. it will cut through hairspray, grime, anything...doesn't need to be rinsed... and unlike bleach, won't damage the caulk or grout. (reminder: bleach and ammonia don't mix). what are the odds she is actually gonna do the floor this time? be strong and leave the note. remember...you are the boss. i am sure she would much rather get a note with a gentle hint that you expect the bathroom floor be done much more than getting a pink slip.
bobbleheaddoll at 3:26PM on Oct 29th 2007
12. This is Sparta!
I mean, This is Rocca!!!
http://www.thecheezburgerfactory.com/completestore/128381589530087500THISISROCCAAA.jpg
Nice one Blay-Ze! I fixed your link too!
Rocca/Sparta '08
"Taking on hedonistic blog bashers, one JOHN at a time!"
P.S. - It's good to know that ammonia won't damage the caulk! And remember, never use bleach on your caulk! When in doubt, always refer to "FINN's 12 Steps to a Great Caulk" available at Lowe's and in selected bookstores next March.
FINN at 3:48PM on Oct 29th 2007
13.
JG I thought that Blaze could bribe MO with the sock to force Mo into giving him the interview. Will that work? I am sure MO will do what it takes to get his sock back. Only one sock to fold will drive him crazy.
marsha beckerman at 4:00PM on Oct 29th 2007
14. Finn,
Easy with the name John. Some people might get confused.
Anyway,
Miguel is back. Yea!
He is a good friend of this blog. Please welcome him back.
And instead of "JOHN," maybe you could use the word $#!t-Head (BLEEP). Oops too late.
Kimball/Finn '08
John Giza at 4:01PM on Oct 29th 2007
15. Finn,
I really think you should push up
your publishing date.
Have your book come out
before Festivus.
Otherwise, Blay-Ze will capitalize on the gift season and sell more copies.
I wish Mo Rocca would write a book.
He could call it:
"Everything Stephen Colbert Didn't Say In His Book Because He Isn't As Smart As Me."
I think it has legs. Finn?
Kimball/Rocca '08
John Giza at 4:15PM on Oct 29th 2007