When Paris Hilton was in jail, she spoke often about how the experience changed her and left her wanting to make the world a better place. So that's exactly what she's doing. Because the world is filled with so many intractable problems, she has chosen to target one of the most problematic -- drunken elephants. Yep. Paris is on a crusade to help stop elephants in India from getting blitzed. "The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them," she said. Let's assume that by "elephants" she means elephants, and not Britney and Lindsay.

But how can I help, you may be saying? Well, for starters, don't leave a whiskey bottle out in an area where there are elephants roaming around without supervision. And don't go to the zoo and start lobbing cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon into the elephants' habitat. And don't bring a baby elephant into a bar and hook its trunk up to the tap.

(Photo: Capla Kesting Fine Art)