61. Why can't we all just get along? We do need to get over ourselves and support eachother as women and mothers. There are so many stresses in this world, why add more? It is true breast is best, but if you don't want to commit to that then don't feel bad. Dads can bond with baby regardless of bottlefeeding. There are so many benefits to breastfeeding, be strong and don't let the ignorant public make you feel bad. Don't let overzealous La Leche League members scare you away from it. Be strong and follow your beleifs. Your baby will still turn out fine. I was bottle fed, but my four children were breastfed. Any difference? No, being a parent is about choices we see are best for our children. We are all faced with different lives and situations, let us all come together in support.

Kelli at 12:22PM on Jan 21st 2008

62. La Leche League Leaders are specifically trained not to be condeming, and to meet the needs of the mother, even if she wants to do something contrary to our beliefs or even science (if a mother is giving her 3 week old solids, but her supply is ok and she's not complaining, we're not supposed to say anything about it). I think that people sometimes confuse LLL members with Leaders. Leaders are trained and required to follow certain rules (involving appropriate communication skills, respect exc.), members, of course, are not. La Leche League is an organization that exists to help mothers who want to breastfeed their babies at any level: part-time, full-time, pumping only, for 2 weeks, whatever the mother wants. Any Leader that tries to pressure a mother to do something she isn't comfortable with is going against what she has been trained to do.

Leta at 12:36PM on Jan 21st 2008

63. The breast feeding moms get slammed by some people who find it offensive to breast feed in public. The bottle feeding moms are condemned by La Leche and the breast feedings moms. I get sick and tired of hearing how bottle feeding moms don't care about their babies because they chose the bottle or GOD FORBID, formula. Did both, I see no differance in my children's behavior, intelligence or love and affection towards me. Also, the bottle enabled my husband to join in. He loved feeding his babies. Okay, now I know I'll be condemned for this. I also used the pacifier.........GASP! By the way, great post Vicki

kmf at 12:41PM on Jan 21st 2008

64. While I totally understand and sympathize with the women who are physically unable to breastfeed, I'm finding it hard to understand the scarcity of comments by women who have successfully and joyfully breastfed their babies and loved every minute of it. I was a working mother with both of my children, now aged 15 and 11, but thinking back to the precious, all too short 6 months I was able to breastfeed each child still brings warm fuzzy memories. There is no substitute for looking deeply into your child's eyes, cuddling him/her next to your heart and knowing that you yourself are able to give them everything they need to sustain life. Sure, it wasn't always easy - I had my share of bleeding cracked nipples and steeling myself for that first awful cringe when the baby latches on... but doesn't the whole motherhood experience have its share of pain? I also expressed milk so that my husband could share in the bonding, and expressing milk was just as if not more painful without the rewards! So for those women thinking of expressing and bottle feeding breast milk solely to avoid the "sexuality connotation" please please don't miss out on what can be one of the most wonderful and loving experiences of your mommyhood.

Mia at 5:26PM on Jan 21st 2008

65. this is to Mary andHailwivt---it always continues to suprise me the insensitivity of people and the assumptions that someone else is lazier and less of a mom than we are. I am an OB/GYN and assumed I would breast feed. when my daught was born i tried!!!!!!!!! we couldn't do it, she hated it, my nipples were beyound flat, she couldn't get enough milk, the shields did not work..Knowing the benefits for her, and for me ( dec brest cancer) i pumped--- for me it was much more painful, more work (sterilizing, bottles as well as pump assecories) I bleed often!!! thorugh the nipples-- very fibrocystic breast-- and carried a heavy pump around, had to pump in closets, bathroom, etc---> My daughter only received breastmilk for over 10 month and had breastmilk for about 2 years---It was a tremendous commitment and I was happy was able to do it and that I had an option on how to do it..
Also I feel I still bonded with her, since always gave her the bottle myself ( most of the times) and once she had sone formula or regular milk-- she would hate it and ask for mine>
Did you guys eve consider babies that cannot fe3ed except with special nipples because of cleft lip and cleft palate?? babies with facial nerve damage that canot suck and need Gtubes? thank heavens that these moms have the options of still giving babies breastmilk via pump-----never assume someone is doing a different version out of lazyness---old adage but true--walk a mile in their shoes.

gabe at 5:45PM on Jan 21st 2008

66. I posted earlier on having a physical limitation and thus having to discontinue breastfeeding...what I want to add is that, while I understand completely the biological benefits of breastfeeding (although I couldn't at all with two of my children, I still "dripped" colostrum into their mouths in the hopes that antibodies would be passed on!), the closeness can definitely still be there, in spades, with bottle feeding. I held them close, to my skin, when feeding them, and in holding the bottle didn't even have a hand free to do anything else but enjoy their presence. Closeness and bonding is NOT an exclusive joy of breastfeeding. It's a result of being a caring and loving parent.

Lesli at 11:06PM on Jan 21st 2008

67. Well, I'm a gramma now...but thought I would share my experience. First baby I nursed with my feet flying up into the air everytime she latched on the first week (and biting my finger) but eventually it was great. We could go anywhere easily w/o "stuff". Then at six months doc said she had lost a pound and I had to quit. Very sad day. Made me a little paranoid with my second girl and after two weeks (with my mother's encouragement :o( I quit nursing her and she immediately started having symptoms of what I thought was a cold...ended up a food allergy..dairy products I guess. So sad. Was going to tell you my daughter's experience but don't want to get too long. One had blood blisters but nursed anyway...other has GREAT nipples, nurses at home, pumps once at work which lets her hubby (or gramma) feed the baby. She was three months when this started so no nipple confusion.

Sueso at 1:54AM on Jan 22nd 2008

68. Sounds to me that bottle feeding breast milk is a bigger pain that sore nipples; which only lasts a very short time, btw...they get tough real quick LOL.

I formula-bottled fed my first born, nursed the second one. He was born in 1971. He was huge, and my breasts are small...by the time he was six weeks old he would empty me out so quick I couldn't believe it, then he'd scream until I gave him a bottle so could fill his tummy.

This is always a downward spiral and within a week or two I was done nursing. I felt terrible but my doctor was very supportive and convinced my bruised ego that my baby had gotten the best of starts because I had successfully breast fed for those first crucial weeks...he had gained 3 lbs in 6 weeks!

Breast feeding was one of the best experiences of my life...and at 62 I still don't regret it in any way. I always encourage young women I know that are pregnant to breast feed.

RedHawk at 6:53AM on Jan 23rd 2008

69. As long as you feed your child, what does it matter?

A man threw all four of his children off of a bridge last week, a woman was found in her home with all four of her children dead. We read about child abuse almost every day. Now, we are going to vilify women who don't choose to breast feed, BUT feed their children formula.

What a shame, really.

les at 2:43PM on Jan 23rd 2008

70. Breasts....good. Breast milk....pretty much for those who have tasted nothing else for comparison.

The Prophet at 6:20PM on Jan 25th 2008

71. I think it is horrible that women are judged as mothers according to how their baby is fed. I can't see how whether a baby is fed by bottle or breast, or is given formula or breastmilk, says how much a mother loves her baby or how well that baby is cared for.

Some of the comments on here regarding feeding with a bottle are so harsh, they seem to insinuate that child is being in some way neglected or abused. I have been pumping and feeding my baby breastmilk for 10 weeks now, and I couldn't love him any more. While I would have loved to have been able to give him the breastmilk directly from the breast, it didn't work out that way. He began to refuse the breast when he was only a few days old. I have since offered my breast several times, and he still refuses!

He and I make up our little family of 2 and we couldn't be happier! My son is thriving and very happy. I anticipate that he will stay that way and grow up to be a fine young man..without any long term effects that some feel that bottle feeding will produce! When it comes to parenting, I think there are bigger things to worry about.

Nicolle Mitchell at 12:53PM on Jan 28th 2008

72. Just wanted to add my two cents...
Breastfeeding is a wonderful thing. I've breastfed all six of my children. But that's not the issue. I know plenty of wonderful mothers who didn't even consider breastfeeding, much less pumping. And in a world where many of the children are neglected or malnourished, I'd rather see a loving mother feed a bottle of breastmilk or formula.

At the same time, I am saddened that these issues (breastfeeding, natural childbirth, etc.) pit woman against woman. Rather than judge each other for our choices, wouldn't it be better to judge the companies that encourage bottle feeding? Or how about the media that sexualizes our breasts, making us feel uncomfortable for using them for the only real reason we have them?

Just a thought...

Michelle Kennedy at 9:41AM on Feb 4th 2008

73. I work as a Breastfeeding Peer Counselor and Certified Lactation Consultant in a WIC (Women, Infants and Children) program in Illinois. The focus of my job is prenatal breastfeeding education, lactation counseling/support before and after the baby is born. I'm here to offer information, home visits, equipment, and anything else I can to moms so that women from low-income families can make breastfeeding successful in their lives.

At my clinic, as I really think should be done EVERYWHERE, breastfeeding is presented to our moms in a pretty logical way that puts personal choice as less of a priority in the consideration of choosing a feeding method. Working at the health department has forced me to do research and present breastfeeding as more than just a "mommy/baby" issue; it truly boils down to being a public/personal health issue.

As a professional, my main concern is getting mothers to understand that generally speaking (and I know I'll get a lot of flak from formula users for this comment, but look at the actual research in the last 20 years and you'll find I'm telling the truth) formula-fed children, whether wholly or supplementary-fed, are in poorer health than their breastfed counterparts. They have higher rates of many types of cancers, diabetes, allergies, developmental problems, digestive disorders, common illness (colds, flu, diarrhea, ear/respiratory infections)... the lists go on. Looking at the health problems that occur in the "Baby Boom" generation and beyond, where breastfeeding was socially taboo, we can see the results of formula feeding in the negative health "epidemics" we have today. The breastfed counterparts of most of these adults do not have the same problems. We are now seeing the negative consequences of the "modern" way to feed a child in our rising disease rates and health care costs. Today, the average formula fed child incurs hundreds of dollars more in medical expenses (doctor visits, prescriptions, treatments for chronic, preventable illness) than the breastfed child, which are either paid by the parents or the state (taxpayers), thus taking money that could be otherwise used to pay bills or go into savings for these families. The average health care related costs for an adult who was formula fed are skyrocketing into the tens of thousands more than breastfed adults per year. The biggest reason for this? FORMULA OFFERS ZERO PROTECTION AGAINST ILLNESS. It is the minimum nutrition required to keep a child alive if a mother cannot/will not nurse, and offers no living cells to fight off disease, immediate or long-term. That protection gap is why a formula fed child/adult has an average of 14 times the hospital stays over the course of his or her life than a breastfed child. They get sick more often and more severely. Ask mothers who have a breastfed child and a formula fed child. In my encounters with clients and mothers outside my clinic, the answer has ALWAYS been that the formula fed child is much more prone to illness.

Economically speaking, too, the formula itself is a drain on families. Even mothers who choose to formula feed will tell you that one of the biggest negatives is the amount of money spent on the food itself. The average cost for a family for formula for the first year of a child's life is between $1000-1500 dollars a year. If you have a child who is on any special type of formula, you can easily double, triple, quadruple that number. Did you know that the majority of those who use formula in this country can't afford it? The people in the lowest economic positions, who could benefit the most from breastfeeding (financially, medically, what have you) are most likely to shun it. Part of this is due to lack of education on the benefits, part of it is cultural/social practices, but a good chunk of that is the seemingly harmless advertising of the formula companies who are very well aware that benefits of breastfeeding are not as well-known in these populations. Statistically, the lower your income, the lower your education level and the more easily manipulated you are. They know this, and count on a lack of education to drive their sales. That is why government programs like WIC were developed, essentially. In trying to lower infant mortality rates and increase positive health outcomes through nutrition education and supplementation, WIC has been fighting back (and other programs, too) to close that gap and make sure people know that their feeding choices today can affect their children’s' health tomorrow. Currently, WIC provides formula to anywhere between 40-50% of the infants born in the United States. If you have never used WIC, you probably don't even know the program exists, but this requires BILLIONS of dollars from the government, which is mostly earmarked to pay the formula companies who provide it to the agencies and clients. Again, an economic expenditure, money that comes out of taxpayer dollars that could be severely reduced if mothers would breastfeed.

The fact is that formula companies are in it for the money, not because they care about whether a baby lives or dies. If they did, they would not face regular recalls because of nutritional deficiencies in their products, illegally give out samples in doctors' offices and hospitals, or directly market a product known to be inferior to a mother's own milk. Formula is made of cow's milk (a known allergen--earlier introduced, the more dangerous and problematic it is) and is, again, the minimal nutrition required to keep a baby alive and growing. It dramatically increases the likelihood that a child will suffer from discomfort, pain, and disease in their lifetime.

As far as the personal decision-making goes, of course it is up to the parent to make the feeding decision. No one is denying that right or trying to make one feel guilty. As I believe was said before, the only people I have run into that give me grief on that end are those who aren't happy with the decision they made or, in the case of a medical reason for not nursing, feel they have some blame in the matter. Only one person can place guilt, and that's the mother herself. I nursed and supplemented my daughter for the first five months of life, until I found out about all the risk involved in formula feeding. I was given the can at the hospital and thought because the nurse gave it to me, I should use it. I was a scared, low-income, first-time mother who didn't know any better.

I guess that's my personal stake in this. I want my mothers to make a decision, whatever it may be, but I want it to be an INFORMED decision. I don't want them to rely on flawed or incomplete information, "old wives' tales" and the woes of mothers past, sales pitches disguised as support, or any other poor and backward source of "help". A mother should be given information on this decision as she would any other health risk. If you tell your OB, for example, that you are smoking or drinking during or after the pregnancy, they will tell you the risks involved in those kinds of personal decisions and how they will affect you and your child. Because it touches virtually every aspect of their physical and emotional well-being, mothers should be equally informed of the risks of bottle/formula feeding in contrast to breastfeeding if they say that is their decision.

Because of education through my job and the support of the previous peer counselor in this program, I know to be reasonably skeptical of advice and information that comes my way these days, and not just about nursing. I know that breastfeeding does not equal good parenting and vice versa. However, I'm not going to ignore the system I was given my nature to nurture and soothe my child, especially when I know that the alternative can have dangerous consequences.

Breastfeeding may not solve the world's problems or eliminate debt, disease, or death. I'll be darned though if I let other mothers believe that formula is like gold and breastfeeding is inconvenient and dirty; I aim to tell the truth. I remember having cracked, sore nipples, thrush, engorgement, nipple confusion, being bitten. I remember crying at 3 am when I heard my daughter cry and praying she would just go back to sleep because if I had to nurse one more time I thought I was going to die. I remember begging my husband to fix a bottle of formula so I could just get some rest, and him grumbling "Just bring her to bed and nurse her!" I also remember fumbling to find the pieces to a bottle, trying to sterilize parts, spilling the formula on the counter, and thinking that I'd rather deal with sore nipples than try to figure out how to put the stupid thing together. Encouraging mothers to nurse and overcome common, fixable problems can go a long way toward protecting and improving the lives of our families and our communities as a whole. That’s the bottom line in this issue for me.

Brandy at 1:13PM on Feb 4th 2008

74. It seems to me that taking an extremist approach to this subject doesn't really help anyone. While it seems a bit bizarre to me that a mother would choose to exclusively pump and bottle-feed breast milk, I must applaud those mothers for their dedication. They are giving their babies the best nutrition, but I am worried it might be a bit of an "arm's length" approach to mothering. I have both breastfed and pumped for three children. I got tired of pumping very quickly simply because it was boring, and there was too much preparation and clean-up for my liking. It was just so much simpler to nurse the baby and be done with it. I did however, pump enough to always have at least a few days' supply in the freezer in case I was ever separated from the baby. This also gave Dad a chance to bottle feed the baby the last feeding of the night - resulting in an earlier bedtime for me and often, a longer stretch of sleep for the baby. I would not trade the actual act of breastfeeding for anything, despite considerable problems in the beginning with my 1st and 3rd children.

ModernMom at 9:00PM on Feb 5th 2008

75. Boo. Sorry for that last long post. Got off on a rant and went too long.

I just wanted to clarify that I am very plain with the clients that no matter their feeding choice I'm not going to dis them. If a mom wants to nurse once, once a day, every day, I will work to accomodate her needs and help her do what fits her family and her life. If she wants to formula feed, that's cool by me. I am very adamant about people having the right to individual choice, and I'm not about to stand in the way.

Unfortunately, mothers are making physical and emotional health decisions for their children based on flawed or incomplete information. It breaks my heart when I have mothers who say "I wish someone had told me these things before I had my last baby", especially when the child has problems that arose because they chose formula over the breast (and I'm talking the moms that choose itspecifically). I don't want a mother to walk out of my class and say she didn't know the risks of formula feeding, she didn't know where to get help, or she didn't have the support she needed to continue.

Unfortunately, we are still in a society where breastfeeding is not socially accepted or supported. Many of our nurses, doctors, and peers all give poor information and advice (though NOT all of them do) with regard to nursing. Who can blame them? With 40+ years of formula feeding experiences to pull from, they don't know that they are quietly sabotaging the efforts of breastfeeding mothers. Suggesting formula is run-of-the-mill; giving the baby a bottle while mom sleeps rather than letting her nurse in bed is a common suggestion; whisking the baby off to the nursery postpartum nd giving them a bottle and a pacifier--all common practices that are detrimental to breastfeeding, and I see them every day. All I can do is try and educate moms on the obstacles they will face and try to help cross those bridges when they get there.

Just as a side note... humans are the only mammals that make a conscious decision to not nurse their young. Anyone else think that's weird?

Brandy at 5:05PM on Feb 6th 2008