In a new Babble article, "Nude Awakening" by Emily Mendell, she talks about being frequently naked at home around her sons, and wonders if she should start covering up at some point. She writes: I ask my husband, "Do you think it's creepy that I still let the boys see me without clothes on?"
"It's not creepy. It's not like you prance around or anything."
"So, as long as there is no prancing, it's okay?"
"I think so."
"What about when they're teenagers?"
"You might want to rethink things then."
But I didn't want to rethink things. There are certain inalienable rights associated with the family. For me, nudity is one of them.
Read the rest of the story here. The comments so far have been all over the map, with some parents arguing that covering up is necessary to instill a sense of modesty in children and others saying that being naked is a good way to encourage children to be comfortable with their own bodies.Who do you think is right?
Reader Comments ( Page 2 of 2)
16. Yes, yes, another instance of where we Americans are so backward. Why the hell does anyone even listen to liberals anymore? We have the highest divorce rate of any "civilized" society that's ever existed, and for the first time, those under 18 have a better than 50% chance of getting an STD in their lifetime. Most children (a first for a modern civilization) will also grow up without two parents in the home. I'm not sure if or when this country will wake up - my fear is that we've just been too dumbed down to know the difference between right and wrong. Instead we just keep making fun of anyone who would point out the obvious; label them freaks and outside the norm, while our culture grows more violent, self-centered, and ignorant. Aside from technological improvements, how are our kids smarter or better from previous generations? Our musicians, artists, theologians, and philosophers couldn't begin to compare with those of say, 100 years ago, because we don't teach kids to appreciate depth in thinking and in expression, all we want to do is enable them to compete in the "global marketplace". The idea of instilling ethics, discipline, and selflessness is nearly gone. Even now the ones most interested in responding are just thinking up clever ways to name call. What they don't have is a valid argument. Sad.
Dave at 3:22PM on Feb 29th 2008
17. to Katherine (#12) - how could kids see mom's vagina unless they had a speculum and put her up in stirrups? I'm sorry, this is just a pet peeve of mine. The birth canal is the vagina, it is inside your body. The outer pubic area is not the vagina, it is just the pudendum and outer sexual organs. Ww don't refer to a man's penis as the uretha, but yet we refer to a woman's bottom as her vagina. That just drives me crazy! I have a friend who taught her daughter to call her bottom her "vagina" and she would walk around when she was three years old, saying "my vagina hurts" every time she had to go to the bathroom. I'm all for teaching kids proper body part names, but don't refer to a woman's pubic area as her "vagina."
Sarah at 4:31PM on Feb 29th 2008
18. Steven writes "...in several states. Ohio, for example, has made it a sexual felony offense for any adult, including a parent, to appear nude in the presence of a minor." I think that he has his facts scrambled. The American Association for Nude Recreation (AANR) lists nudist clubs in Ohio. AANR is a family oriented organization which promotes healthy attitudes towards body acceptance. You can find out more about them by going to their web site. http://www.aanr.com
There are statistics that show that the children of nudists have lower rates of teen pregnancy than non-nudist children. Perhaps with body acceptance, comes some self confidence which teenagers usually lack.
To those who equate nudity to sex - you have it all wrong If communal nudity is sexual, would that mean that all athletes who shower together are gay? Of course it doesn't so perhaps we can put that canard behind us and grow up.
Americans looked really silly a few years ago with the uproar over Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction." Perhaps it's time for the prudes to chill out.
AJ from the Great White North at 5:52PM on Feb 29th 2008
19.
My husband and I are nudists whenever given the opportunity. For us, this means almost exclusively at home since we've never tried a nude beach or anything like that.
We have been naked around our daughter since she was born. I still am, but my husband began wearing at least boxers around her when she was... oh, I think 5 or so. I think each child is different and you have to pay attention to any cues they give that are overly curious about things inappropriate for their age or they are becoming uncomfortable with it.
My nudity around my daughter (now 10) seems to have opened up alot of dialogue about the body, how she will develop, etc. I feel it also gives her a realistic attitude about body image as I am not model perfect and yet she sees me being comfortable with myself.
In summary, I think nudity at young ages does no harm and natural nudity (not sexual nudity) in the presence of a child of the same sex can actually be beneficial.
FL Chick at 8:10PM on Feb 29th 2008
20. Kids shouldnt see their parents nudity. I think thats disrespectful to both oneself and the kid. I think it should be spouse only. I mean after all, a kid can get attracted...
Michelle at 6:58PM on Mar 1st 2008
21. The author of this article is desperately lacking common sense. If she doesn't yet understand the difference clothing makes in her son's interaction with her, explanations by internet strangers won't be helpful anyway.
LisaP at 12:56AM on Mar 2nd 2008
22. I agree with Marti. It's about privacy. While I believe that children need to learn how to love and respect their bodies without being afraid of them, what about repsecting OTHER people's bodies?
What happens when Mom & Dad have to go down to school because Jr exposed himself to his kindergarten class? Or because Junior wants to know why little girls breasts are different from his mom's or why they don't have hair on their privates? Or because Jr is teaching little girls about their anatomy? How are they going to teach their kids the importance of wearing clothes in public, around strangers, etc. without seeming like hypocrits? What do they teach them about "private parts?" What if some adult they trust exposes & plays with him or herself in front of their kids in a pediphiliac (sp?) way? Most pedaphiles try to pretend like what they are doing is innocent. In light of that, how do you teach your kids that what that person did was wrong? Do you have to have a sex talk early? Because it's natural, what happens if he's 10 and wants to have sex with a 9 or 10 year old girl or with a teenager/ young adult? He's just exploring his sexuality and his body or the human body. That's natural.
While on the subject, what happens when curiosity gets the best of them and they ask questions about the differences in mommy's body and they want to touch mommy's body? It's just a human body, are they not allowed to touch? (I really hope they aren't.)
What happens when they do become aroused by naked bodies - in general? Will they discount younger bodies - the bodies of their peers? Will they not be sexually attracted to older bodies when they get older - because of their mother? How will they feel or their peers feel around them when they get to gym class?
As parents, you don't just raise your kids as you see fit, you have to raise kids to function in their society and, unfortunately, nakedness isn't celebrated or tolerated in our mainstream society. Further, as a parent, your life is no longer about you. Everything you do leaves an impression on your children. Smoking, drinking, profanity, unstable dating relationships, abuse, neglect, passivity, even housekeeping habits, etc. Everything you do or don't do leaves an impression on a young mind.
People have a right to not see nakedness - even kids. We need to quit acting like kids don't count or don't have memories. Men don't forget images - even young men - and especially naked images. When those boys become older, THAT may not be the image of a naked women, or the reference point for a naked woman, that they want to have.
Not to be funny, but that kind of violates their future relationships, taking away the curiosity, the wonder, the awesomeness of someone sharing their nakedness with them for the first time.
Finally, I agree with Katherine who said if this were a 40 year old man who wants to expose himself to his teenage daughters, it would not be ok.
Don't be fooled. Kids carry their own sense of shame and embarrassment, no matter what you do. Many women recall stories of feeling a sense of violation or uneasiness just because their dad told dirty jokes or seemed turned on by a sex scene in a movie around them as young girls -- and no one told them that they should feel wrong. (not unlike the awkward feeling of being around your parent when they make a racist joke - it just feels wrong) Just like you don't have to teach you kids to lie, you don't have to teach your kids to feel awkward or shame, they pick it up themselves. And if a child feels shame or embarrassment about something you're saying is natural, they're not likely to admit it to the source of that shame. Worse yet, if they feel this way, you as a parent should protect them and they should feel able to come to you, but they won't be able to and silently try to squelsh this feeling on their own.
What if they're ashamed of you, because of what their friends think? What happens when they see their first pornographic picture and they unwittingly find themselves comparing and contrasting Mom's body? What do they do with that shame that they feel about themselves, when they start to see nakedness sexually?
Msmarie at 1:46AM on Mar 2nd 2008
23. I never had to instill a sense of modesty in my kids, they developed that themselves before hitting puberty.
My kids don't want me entering their bedrooms when they are changing and I have always knocked before entering. I wished to instill in them some manners, but to no avail. My kids come into my room when ever they want - and if I'm naked and they protest - I remind them that it is my room and if they don't want me doing the same to them, they should afford me some respect and knock first. But alas, that time has not come and I will not dress in my closet or bathroom to accommodate them. You should be able to be naked in your home if you choose. As long as it is not embarrassing the others who live under your roof.
TJ at 3:56PM on Mar 3rd 2008
24. As long as it's not you Ada...
Were you able to Spawn? OMG Is That even lawful?
And you are allowed to have custody of them?
You should NEVER, EVER, EVER be nude around another living Creature even if you are bathing (You do that?) or changing clothing (?) or picking lice or ticks or whatever you do.....
Or even alone! for that matter!!!!
Nor for a gulp,...Veterinary exam (Felony Reckless Endangerment)
Please don't ever unleash such a weapon of cruelty on the world.....
Krautknabe at 9:16PM on Mar 13th 2008
25. In a reply to Steve from Ohio; There is no such law prohibiting parents from exposing their naked bodies to their own children or other members of their household in their own home as long as it's not a sexual advance. I suggest you read the laws thoroughly before making such ignorant comments. The thought that a mother would have to register as a sex offender simply because she has been nude in front of her children is absolutely ludicrous and nothing short of middle-ages thinking.
I don't think nudity is bad in any way, unless it's seductive in nature. There's nothing wrong with children seeing their mom naked as long as she's not trying to entice them in a sexual way. I find it hard to believe that these boys would find their mother sexually desirable simply because she's nude and especially if they've seen her nude all of their lives. If they do than there's something much deeper than simple nudity there.
I also suggest everyone actually read the article by Emily Mendell. It shines a lot of light on the subject.
Dana Zuscani at 3:17PM on Mar 22nd 2008