Endearingly batty New York Post gossip columnist Cindy Adams brought her wisdom to bear on the Spitzer dust up, addressing Spitzer's wife like so: I want to tell her - so what. She may not longer be New York's first lady, but a husband hooking up with a hooker is not reason enough to no longer be a married lady.
Sex, a primal need, outpoints fear, hunger and love as mankind's No. 1 driving force. Unless you're a pig or a monk, many an able-bodied - and I use that term deliberately - 48-year-old husband of 21 years has grazed. I'm not advocating it. I'm merely saying, so what? It's like takeout food. Less work for mother.
Did she say TAKEOUT FOOD? And it gets even wackier from there. Adams writes:
A man who adores a woman enough to make his family with her and wants her forever as No. 1 in his life in a drawing room or dining room might also respect and treasure her too much for what he wants in a bedroom.
Paying a pro isn't disrespect to his wife. Disrespect is keeping, supporting, housing a mistress with whom there's an ongoing relationship and with whom you share not only time but emotions and thoughts and life. Disrespect is dumping into a trash bin that partner, long out of the workforce after giving her all including her youth, to marry whatever new twinkie works your male menopausal pinky.
The real reason this Cindy Adams column seems so crazy, beyond its insanely old-fashioned concept of male-female relationships, is that she seems blithely unaware of why this scandal is so sad to so many of us: we thought he was a genuinely honest, good guy. It turns out he not only committed a crime while prosecuting others who commit such crimes, but he showed in his manner a truly depraved character.
Specifically:
He haggled over price. Tacky.
He asked the women to do "not safe" things. Creepy.
He got caught, throwing the state's government into chaos and destroying his home. Pathetic.
He committed the ultimate hypocrisy. Unforgivable.
This guy is more than "reckless," as he's been described by some colleagues. He's bad.
There's a difference between hiring a prostitute or having an affair because you're lonely (which we can understand) and hiring a prostitute because you want to show off how powerful you are, to make a woman do something that even experienced hookers balk at. That's just gross. And it reveals a flawed character that would not make a good governor, or a good husband - for anyone except maybe Cindy Adams.
Reader Comments ( Page 3 of 3)
31. Spitzer was so arrogant he thought he was untouchable,well the only reason we are hearing about this is because the jerk made so many enemies they were determined to nail him,when he finally screwed up, as for the issue of prostitution, do people really beleive that only single men patronise them, prostitution exists because there is a demand for the services, as charlie sheen reportedly said you don't pay the woman to have sex , you pay for her to go away after sex, if he had only remembered that before he took up with denise, but I digress. Spitzer looks like that is the only way he could get any, he and his wife probably have an understanding, if they don't,she has a choice, take it or leave it, as far as I am concerned the main victim here is the 21yr old who has now been outed as a call girl.Admittedly she made some bad choices but I don't beleive she deserves to be crucified.
beejay at 2:58PM on Mar 13th 2008
32. If her had not breaking the law by paying big sums to a call girl this wouldn't have as much hype. But he did break the law and spent as much or more as 80k on these women. What seems depraved to some in the bedroom is not depraved to others what people do in the bedroom is their business as long as they are not breakingthe law by paying for it. I agree with the rest of the people here . There is no way that I would be standing by this mans side up there, he committed adultery,embarrassed his kids and wife,broke the law and in general made a fool of himself. He didn't make a fool of his family tho,he justmade them the object of pity for having someone like him as a father and husband. UNless his wife has a prenup she should sue him for divorce,get her fair share and move on with her life as she is still an attractive woman and could live nicely on her settlement and put this man where he belongs,in her past. This moron who wrote that article is just that a moron.There is no "til death do us part" in Sildas vows with this guy,he could very well give her a disease that would make it til death do we part! SHe needs to bail right now before he does kill her with Aids. I guess Cindy Adams has not considered this and by her own words sex with your husband is a duty, so she is happy that her spouse hires hookers, and I think that Silda has more values and morals than Cindy Adams.
Judy at 3:42PM on Mar 13th 2008
33. I have to laugh at #10 - jonahtnwinchell 2000 - if all disgraced Republicans "leave office" please tell me why two GOP senators - David Vitter and Larry Craig - are still serving in the Senate?
Vitter admitted to frequenting prostitutes - his wife Wendy pulled a Tammy Wynette "stand by your man" routine like they all do. Vitter paid numerous women for sex, which last time I checked, is just as illegal as what Spitzer did. Not one Republican asked Vitter to leave his Senate seat. Vitter only survived because no one knew who he was and it wasn't an election year.
And Larry Craig - well we know that story.
If Spitzer is a sleaze and a hypocrite - and we could argue he is - Vitter and Craig are too.
David S. at 3:15PM on Mar 13th 2008
34. Another pathetic result of this tawdry episode is that this woman, the happy hooker, will become a minor celebrity. In the next few weeks you will see her on talk shows; hear her music; watch her reality show...and last but not least...see her on the cover of Playboy.
Message to # 23, the misogynistic moron...get help!
April at 4:09PM on Mar 13th 2008
35. My advise to mrs.Spitzer... get out of your shell
stop feeling like a victim.. this is your time to be strong,for yourself and daughters.. and the lesson learn is..that most men are dogs.. very few of them will respect there wifes and family..no matter how srong the atraction may be.. but then again..your in new york..with donald trump as your neighbor!.what goes around comes around..Silda..time to dump little bozo..AND TO GET A LIFE!!
sweetestaire at 3:37PM on Mar 20th 2008
36. Run Silda, run! Show your 3 daughters what marriage really is. It is hard work and sticking to your vows no matter what. But not this. This, is disgusting. Don't stand there because it's expected. Let him stand there alone and take the shame!! He did it, he deserves the disrespect. Don't let your daughters and our daughters see you cave and let him stay. He is scum.
momma bear at 6:20PM on Mar 13th 2008
37. Adams minimizes the shame and humiliation caused by Spitzer's actions. Could he have been in his right mind? How can a man who loves his wife and children so dearly frequent prostitutes on a regular basis? We are not talking about Tony Soprano here. I believe that Elliot Spitzer feels deeply worthless inside, and therefore, sabotaged everything. He is a very sad man and his family will probably have to look forward to living with a broken human being for a very long time to come. I don't think that infidelity is the worst thing in a marriage, but coupled with public humiliation, it just might be.
Dfreecitysgi at 6:40PM on Mar 13th 2008
38. No one seems to give one care for the fact that if you try to wire your sick auntie in Canada money over a certain amount then you are automatically under Federal survailence. Automatically. The wake up in this country is going to be really interesting when it hits...
Mosby at 12:42AM on Mar 14th 2008
39. first of all, this balding, dumbo-eared hypocritical, hyper-critical lunatic has been too uptight, too square, and too ugly to make it with hot chicks his whole life. when he becomes gov, the chicks are all fawning over him, he can't have affairs with them, that'll blow up for sure, but a high-priced escort service, that he thinks he can do with a reasonable amount of stealth. unless of course you're a moron and move your money around like a drug dealer enough to flag a bank employee to call the irs. what a dumshit. and for this nyc relic cindy adams, the fact this asshole gov former attorney general blew close to a hundred thousand dollars to ride bareback on fractured coed road litter and let his wife sleep with him unaware, i think is reason enough for his wife to legally shoot him at a press conference. what an arrogantly egotistical blowhard. everybody thinks he's a somebody until he's nobody.
dr phil at 9:58AM on Mar 14th 2008
40. Not only should Mrs. Spitzer leave her monster's side, but she should do it immediately.
Elliot Spitzer rode a wave of destruction that was created by his prosecution of people involved with prostitution. He was very aware that his acts were illegal and argued repeatedly about their immoral base as an Attorney General. He knew that what he did was in clear violation of the kind of character facade he had created to gain support and power. Visiting a prostitute continues to enforce a predatory, destructive behavior against women. As a woman comfortable with her financial situation, Mrs. Spitzer may not want to sacrifice her economic saftey by makeing a moral stand but she is the mother of two young women and that must take precedence. Elliot Spitzer's behavior has done more than violate any public trust that he garnered through deceit. It has shown that he is willing to prey on women just older than his daughters and enable other social predators to continue the same kind of devastation against our society's women that we condemn in certain middle eastern countries. Should she stand by her man? Only if she wants to add to the centuries of oppression that her husband champions.
Eric at 1:42PM on Mar 14th 2008
41. I think this article says it all.
The Real Prostitutes in the Elliot Spitzer Sex Scandal.
http://www.proudtoliveinamerica.com/Forms/Main/Default.aspx?L=en-us&P=Editorials5
I find Wall Street and media reaction a disgrace.
pc at 5:36PM on Mar 14th 2008
42. Of all the "things" Spitzer did, the most heinous crime, is asking his dates to have unsafe sex. That shows in and of itself either a morbid fantasy to undermine his gravitas.Or to enforce his megalomania. Worse, if he had any STD and passed it on to wife, then he is a criminal just like the criminals he indicted for their BIG lapses in ethical behavior.
Yes, if a husband had a one-time date with a working girl, and he wasn't Eliot Spitzer, I could acquiesce to Cindy's premise for forgive (but it's also natural to NOT forget)and move on. Spitzer has more than a personality disorder he has disorder of the soul. Surely, Dante would designate Spitzer a Hypocrite and thus assign him the worst rung of hell which is the ruinous effect on his family,friends and constituents. He will have to face this for the rest of his life. Now that is hell.
boredwell at 4:46AM on Mar 15th 2008
43. I would've sworn that my husband would NEVER have had an affair, but....he did. Our counselor said that the fact that my husband believed he was exempt from such thoughts/actions made him very vulnerable. Sadly, no one is exempt. I had to learn much about men,their compartmentalized brains, and their difficulty with middle age, etc. I have died a thousand times but we are making it. I'm afraid that most of America is very ignorant about Every Man's Battle. You really don't know what you'd do until it happens to you. I feel so sorry for Spitzer's wife. Yes, it sounds like he is a sex addict; same as with a long term affair. He needs help (counseling, etc.) in the worst way. I sincerely believe that the death of the spouse would be less traumatic to deal with than a horrible betrayal.
Please do not cast a stone at his wife. It took lots of courage for her to stand there. It'll take lots of time for her to process what has happened.
Dee at 9:41PM on Mar 15th 2008
44. Would LOVE to see a press conference where the woman smacked the man upside the head and walked off... HEEHEE
Kathy at 3:15PM on Mar 16th 2008
45. I'm totally amazed that a man of Spitzer's intellect could be this bizarrely stupid, obviously there are no brains below his belt period. Is he so arrogant that although he left a money trail openly that he felt he wouldn't be caught. I personally think he is a horrible, sociopath with no feelings for anyone but himself and his own self gratification. I wish his wife well, how humiliating for her and especially because the prostitute wasn't much older than his oldest daughter. This guy is a JERK extraordinairre. I hope his wife dumps his behind; she deserves better!
Janet at 9:56PM on Mar 17th 2008