 McGreevey |
 Spitzer |
Call it The Great New Jersey-New York Governor Skank-Off. It's the fiercest and lewdest battle yet between the Garden and Empire States. Yes, history is being written - in hot oil.
The first shot across the Hudson was fired in 1979, when 70-year-old ex-Governor Nelson Rockefeller died under mysterious, but undeniably sexy, circumstances in the presence of his 26-year-old secretary Megan Marshak.
The message was clear: New York's Governorship was stronger and hotter. (Yes, he died. But give the guy credit: Megan was 44 years younger.) Poor New Jersey was just dirty. And not sexy Christina Aguilera Dirrty. (The sultry songstress was in fact born in Staten Island, teasingly close to NJ.)
Cut to August 2004 and spitfire NJ Gov. Jim McGreevey throws it down for the Garden State by declaring himself not only "a gay American," but hot enough to have turned his homeland security adviser Golan Cipel. Cipel was a member of the Israeli Defense Forces (IDF), in McGreevey's words "the best in the world." Nothing is supposed to distract these guys from their mission. Helen of Troy? Think McGreevey of Trenton.
New York was reeling. Did NJ's Governor really have wilder sex?
Then over the skies of Albany appeared a crusader, someone willing to get right in there: sexual dive bomber Eliot Spitzer. Even though he had an Anne Archer-smoking hot wife, he was eager to risk it all (career and clap) to save the reputation of NY's governorship. The Emperors Club VIP put the Empire State back on top. (The top part is unconfirmed.)
But Jersey struck back only days later. $80,000 for hookers? BFD! McGreevey and then wife Dina "Mary Lou" Matos had three-ways with driver and Chris O'Donnell lookalike Terry Pedersen. Boo-Yah!
But New York will not go down without making it clear that it goes down!! Indeed what could be more adventurous than the nation's first blind governor strolling into a Manhattan hotel to get it on with lady staffers not his wife? How sexually adventurous is New York Governor David Paterson? He and his wife are happy to report that they both had affairs. You don't need an abacus to count a four-way in there somewhere.
Reader Comments ( Page 1 of 3)
1. I can't make up my mind. Since Jersey is so close to N.Y., I would probably just move back and forth...
Although, all of that moving back and forth would wear me out, at least I would have enough material to write a book. The book would lead to talk show appearances, which would lead to a movie deal!
Either Halle Berry or Thandie Newton for the lead.
Well done, babe. So looking forward to the rest of the comments.
giftedgirl at 9:06AM on Mar 18th 2008
2. I Love NY.....safely.
Jennifer Simard "Your Rona" at 10:34AM on Mar 18th 2008
3. Dear Mo,
not a pretty issue, but someone has to ask it and I thank you for your courage.
I vote for NY....
I'm thinking in terms of "what to talk about afterwards".
Having spent most of my time in NJ, I vote for NY. I mean how much more can we dish about eight years of failed right-wing Republican policies, the black bear problem (easy Will), Gypsy moth issues (DON'T get Blayze's dad started!), polluted Jersey shores where the beach whistle count exceeds the sea gulls, and the transvestites don't even TRY at the Woodbridge Mall( gee, buddy could you a least SHAVE your legs and back?!)
The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
I miss NJ like hell......... :'''(''''''
I'll always love her!!!!
Мы Вас не хватать Жаклин! У Вас есть замечательный момент в Mother Russia! Kiss Putin for me!
ah,Clem at 11:50AM on Mar 18th 2008
4. Aw Mo,
I know, I know, pick one.
It's just that, coming from Connecticut,
I have to vote for John Rowland.
Afterall, he f@&#ed the entire State in our sleep and we didn't realize it until the morning.
JG^^
John Giza at 12:10PM on Mar 18th 2008
5. Sex, Love, scandal, cheating, blindness, Homosexuality, Politics, Balding men, are we living a One Life to Live episode?
Esther at 2:55PM on Mar 18th 2008
6. Ya know, Mo......
strike*strike*strike....pfoooof!....deep inhale....smokey exhale aimed at the ceiling...."move OVER Federline, you're hogging the covers"!
I'd probably need a governors' mansion "karma cleansing" before I tucked in either abode...
how about having the entire Osmond clan or Art Linkletter stay an evening prior to one's stay?
I'd govern better......
just a thought.
ah,Clem at 1:52PM on Mar 18th 2008
7. I nominate this blog entry for best slew of sexual innuendos (and would like to see a video version, Mo)!
Nat at 2:03PM on Mar 18th 2008
8. Sign over exit in Newark Airport reads: Any wuss can "make it" in ny... takes guts to make it in nj.
njgal at 2:38PM on Mar 18th 2008
9. Aw Mo,
Too bad Jib-Jab doesn't feature a "Conga line."
JG^^
John Giza at 2:41PM on Mar 18th 2008
10. Geez, NY, NJ, Conn.... I must be the only person in the northeast not getting laid.
elizabunny at 2:55PM on Mar 18th 2008
11. I think I'd have to go with NJ and McGreevey 'cause I'm more into the whole free love thing. He's got better hair, anyway.
I made the mistake of reading a foxnews.com article about the services Spitzer's girl performed for Charlie Sheen, and now I cannot get those dirty, dirty images out of my mind.
The whole thing really skeeves me.
mo-NEEK-a at 2:49PM on Mar 18th 2008
12. I applaud you Mo!
You could have called it a "Ho-Down" or even a "Prostitute-a-thon"... but you chose to have a "Skank-Off!"
Thatta boy, Mo... this one goes out to all the Kristens out there who struggle to make over $1,000 an hour without any health benefits:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvnHtO6daQM
Rocca the Skank '08
P.S. - I picked New York because they have nicer hotels! Unless anyone knows where I could take an expensive hooker to in the Garden State...
FINN at 4:26PM on Mar 18th 2008
13. Aw Clemmie! Привет Дорогая моя, Ты такая милая. Как дела? У меня все по-прежнему :)
The whole Governor crap is better than any celeb gossip I can read on Perez or TMZ. I feel like ive been watching Law & Order.
I think I'd go with Spitzer. He seems all about the good time, and I could totally see him on a balcony of a swank hotel doing a beer bong. McGreevy don't seem like he could party as hard...
Mo honey, Gov. Rendell is so full of garbage. I'm willing to bet my entire years pay that he would be high in the tier (I'd bet about 9th place) in probability of having a scandalous affair or be involved in a prostitution ring. He comes off, and is so skeezy and slimy. What an old perv.
Can you do a skit video for the blog starring Will Hines as Spitzer?
Jacqueline (Foxy Lady) at 4:05PM on Mar 18th 2008
14. Aw Mo,
Not to sound insensitive here, but...
How did David Paterson know it wasn't his wife?
Time for a knock-knock joke:
Knock-knock.
(Dave Paterson) Who's there?
Halle Berry.
Come in, I've been expecting you.
JG^^
John Giza at 4:29PM on Mar 18th 2008
15. Mo -
Who knew sex in the government could be so damn entertaining?! Laughter can be very therapeutic - thanks!
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/INTERNAL_ENERGY_PLUS
Barb at 4:32PM on Mar 18th 2008