 David Archuleta |
 Brooke White |
On Wednesday night's American Idol results show, something extraordinary happened: The first of the Top Ten finalists announced was tiger beat boy David Archuleta. The second was the group's "Mommy" Brooke White.
So for at least a few minutes 100% of the confirmed finalists were Mormons. Think about that.
This day was a day that was never supposed to come. Indeed for the first few seasons of Idol the idea of an openly Mormon Top Ten finalist was simply unfathomable. (Statistics on Mormon Idol contestants are famously unreliable.) Clearly times have changed. Is this a belated validation of the strides made by the Mitt Romney candidacy? Perhaps. Although the Republican ex-Governor's campaign failed, he forced Americans to come to terms with their anti-LDS prejudices and emboldened Mormon voters (and singers?) to flex their muscle (and vocal cords?).
Whatever the ramifications of this explosion of out and proud LDS singers, the question must be asked: Are Mormons simply better at singing than other Christian denominations? The answer seems to be yes.
With 5.5 million church members in the U.S., they represent less than 2% of the population. And yet they're 20% of the Idol Top Ten. (Factor in the international scope of this year's competition - itself a controversy - and the LDS representation is even more impressive.) No other Christian denomination comes close.
The Osmonds, of course, are the best example of what critics call the "Mormon Melody Mafia." Out of nine children born to George and Olive Osmond, seven (a whopping 77%) are gifted singers. The other two, Virl and Tom, are deaf. Yet even they appreciate music, having appeared on The Donnie and Marie Christmas Special in 1978.
So why are Mormons such good singers?
- They don't smoke. (I love Bonnie Tyler as much as anyone, but raspy-voiced singers spend their careers swimming upstream.)
- They don't drink alcohol or caffeine.
- They have large families that sing together at home and in tabernacle choirs. On a trip to Salt Lake City in 1999 I had the great pleasure of sitting through a rehearsal of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. The acoustics: astonishing. The organ: 11,623 pipes. The experience: unforgettable. One of my favorite cds remains the choir singing civil war hymns.
- They live at high altitudes. Because they're used to thin air, their breath control is unrivaled. (Whether that gives them an unfair advantage at sea level is another matter.)
- They don't dance.
(That Marie Osmond could put one foot in front of the other on Dancing with the Stars was a miracle. Of course it would have helped had she practiced more and shrieked about her doll collection less.)
Not surprisingly the first of the Top Twelve finalists eliminated was lap-dancer David Hernandez. (Lap-dancing is strictly forbidden in Utah, with two exceptions: the Olympic village in 2002 was granted dispensation. Plus there's a club in Provo that sells membership cards for lap-dancing.) I liked David Hernandez but I suspect he would have sounded better had he not spread himself so thin.
So what do you think? Why are Mormons so much better than other Christians at singing?
***
HELP WANTED:
- I'm still looking for material for my cabaret show featuring music about states. Specifically I'm looking for a recording of - or even just sheet music for - the early 20th century song "When it's Apple Blossom Time in Orange, New Jersey, we'll make a Peach of a Pair." (I realize that this is more about fruit than New Jersey, but it sounds like a winner.) Also has anyone heard Steve Allen's song "Spring in Maine"? Is it any good?
- Is anyone reading involved in planning a 200th birthday celebration for Abraham Lincoln? I'm a huge Lincoln lover and want to get involved. I emailed historian Richard Norton Smith at George Mason University, but he hasn't responded. (He once gave me a private tour of the Lincoln Museum in Springfield, so I'm guessing he's just been busy. Or maybe he's still sore at my Mary Todd Lincoln wisecracks.)
Reader Comments ( Page 4 of 5)
46. Mormons are not "christians." They do not follow the central theology of the New Testament. In fact, they are in quite opposition to it.
Yes, I know, EVERY Mormon running around wants DESPERATELY to have everyone THINK they're "christians" for PR reasons, but they're not. They do NOT follow the teachings of Jesus Christ....ALL OF THEM. And you can't pick and choose which doctrine you accept if you're a follower.
They aren't anymore "christians" than Scientologists are. I wish they'd stop trying to say they are.
timber at 7:52PM on Mar 22nd 2008
47. Adam....
Your heart is in the right place, my friend, but you've been mightily deceived by the false prophet Joseph Smith.
Why is he a false prophet?
In Deuteronomy...you know, the third book of the Old Testament, which you claim to follow...the test of a prophet is that all things they prophecy about must be true.
Exhibit A: The Book of Abraham. This was "translated" by Joseph Smith in 1835, long before anyone knew ancient Egyptian and could test the veracity of his translations.
It has since been shown...clearly, unequivocally, by SCIENTISTS (Doctors of History, Doctors of Egyptology, etc etc etc.) who do not have an "Anti-Mormon Agenda"...that Joseph Smith was completely, totally, and utterly wrong. The papyrus he translated was an account of the life of a dead priest, Horus, and prayers for his well being in the afterlife.
"Abraham" is not mentioned anywhere. It is no more a "Book of Abraham" than "Catcher in the Rye" is.
I do not say this to anger or embarrass you. I say it so that you will see the truth. Scholarship has proven Joseph Smith wrong...not once, not twice, but dozens and dozens of times.
If he was wrong about all of this....what else was he "wrong" about...? Or, rather, what else did he invent? A prophet HAS to speak the truth at ALL TIMES, or they are not from God.
Please...Mormon people, for the most part, are GOOD people, people of integrity and values....but for your own sake, please reject what the false prophets Joseph Smith and Brigham Young have invented....invented for their own power and fame.
Come on, man. Do it for YOU.
timber at 8:01PM on Mar 22nd 2008
48. And again....Mormons are not Christians. Christians believe that Jesus is GOD HIMSELF, and existed from before history AS GOD, and that God has ALWAYS been and ALWAYS WILL BE God, and that Jesus was GOD IN THE FLESH who came to earth to redeem mankind back TO God. Jesus, as God, took the punishment of all humanity on to himself with his death, then was raised from the dead to be conqueror of death itself. The First Born, in other words.
The gift of eternal life is FREE through FAITH. We cannot EARN it by doing ANYTHING. It CANNOT be bought at ANY price.
The New Testament says this...not the Book of Mormon, or the Pearl of Great Price. In fact, the BOM and POGP CONTRADICTS this theology, stating that God was once a man LIKE US, and that, through GOOD WORKS (which is the opposite of what the NT teaches) he became elevated and "a God" himself.
This, as said, is in DIRECT contradiction to the NT. How, then, can one follow BOTH the NT AND the BOM?
One cannot.
If you don't believe all or any of that, that's cool. Lots of people don't believe that. Lots of people don't believe that, and still call themselves "Christians."
But....if you really want to BE a Christian, you have to follow the theology of CHRIST....not Joseph Smith.
Ya know?
timber at 8:07PM on Mar 22nd 2008
49. But apparently we Mormons have no sense of humor. So I guess you got us there.
Geez, why is it every time someone even so much as mentions the word "Mormon" you get half a dozen bitter anti-Mormon screechers chiming in, and another half dozen earnest Mormons who want to "bear their testimonies" to you?
Give it a rest - both of you. It's getting kind of lame.
Seth R. at 8:42PM on Mar 22nd 2008
50. Well, timber's got all the answers on religion and sex and the worlds cultural More's and Dictates...
She thinks she knows better than all the oldest and greatest Cultures and Religions of the World so maybe we/they should all just shut up and turn to her? That's where all the solutions can be found.
After all, if we don't...she might make hollow threats...."Mark my words!" ...lol
Krautknabe at 9:24PM on Mar 22nd 2008
51. Okay,
so there's this Utah Mensa meeting and this guy makes eyes at this girl across the gym.
He goes up to her and says,
"Hi, I'm a nuclear physicist with a lot on my mind. May I share it with you?"
The girl says,
"Men otemjej rej ilo bein anij"
The guy says
"I don't understand?"
The girl says,
"Not Atoll."
John Giza at 9:41PM on Mar 22nd 2008
52. Hey Kraut...Timber's a "he", not a "she"....though I don't doubt you meant that purposely. ;) Do I have all the answers? No, of course not. I wish I did. I'd be a very wealthy man.
But I do have AN answer. Are you so threatened by AN answer that you have to jump off the cliff metaphorically? Clearly, that's the case.
Don't mark my words. Like I said, believe whatever you want to believe. But, at the very least...understand WHAT you believe and where it came from.
And seriously...? Save the hyperbole for people who'll appreciate it...you know, like teenage girls.
timber at 10:40PM on Mar 22nd 2008
53. Oh, and hey, Seth? Not bitter. Not screeching. Not even anti-Mormon.
I just want folks to know where their beliefs came from, so they can make an informed decision, and not just "believe what mom and dad believed."
If a person wants to believe that Joseph Smith is a "prophet of God"...despite the fact that that's demonstrably not true....then more power to them.
It's kind of like believing that Xenu killed 75 billion people, but hey, so long as you KNOW it's total mythology, go for it!
timber at 10:40PM on Mar 22nd 2008
54. Mo,
Your comment about the clumsiness of the Tabernacle Choir made me laugh so hard I blew a booger.
You do realize that Mormons (I'm one.) often refer to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir as the MoTab?
From now on, I shall refer to you as the Mo Rocca.
John G
John G at 11:10PM on Mar 22nd 2008
55. No timber you don't have anything even close to an answer. I am not surprised however that a man would be so emphatically and passionately responsive to that particular issue that was previously discussed on the "To Catch a Predator" Blog. Have you gone back to read it in entirety?There is a common and specific if not intrinsic reason(s) for that which we will fore go at the moment.
Hyperbole? please look up the definition first, I'm sure for your sake it would be conveniently so but no, it is simply so that many, many youths of both genders (I ever said girls exclusively, that was your and others own leaning. What does that tell you?)have benefited greatly from my and others painful and hard fought efforts over the years as the outcome of the Blog clearly proved.....
Please leave Rights defense and Advocacy to the Professionals. Those that have the training, knowledge and experience of the topic at hand to begin with. and then....
That being said? I really shouldn't even being discussing this with you and was probably in error, used poor judgement in commenting to you initially. However, you did piss me off by harassing and persecuting people who were merely practising their religion in spite of you so this will be my last comment to you. Probably.....
You showed your emotional and moral....."timber" as it were....previously as well as here so enough said.
Krautknabe at 1:06AM on Mar 23rd 2008
56. If we were to judge all people by their religious practises instead of giving them a compliment on the talent that they have and choose to share then I think that more emails for sure would be posted with great concern. Good job on sharing your talents. I appreciate the opportunity to be able to enjoy your voices! I choose to see you as individuals instead of categorizing or grouping you.
ADL at 2:56AM on Mar 23rd 2008
57. While i do not agree with the Mormon doctrine,they sure can sing!
aniekan thomas at 10:12AM on Mar 23rd 2008
58. Many Christians do not participate in such competition becuase they need to preach the word of God as commanded at Matthew 28:19,20.
True Christians are not part of this world (1 John:15-17).
AY at 11:27AM on Mar 23rd 2008
59. Kraut...please learn how to read...then please learn how to COMPREHEND what has been written....THEN comment.
It's SIMPLE. When you do THAT, then I'll be happy to address whatever "points" you may have, at whatever length you wish. But UNTIL you do that, typing at you further is a waste of time.
Nothing further needs to be said at you.
timber at 4:53PM on Mar 23rd 2008
60. It's true, lots of Mormons have great voices. ;)
timber at 4:58PM on Mar 23rd 2008