For real. A man named Thomas Beatie is going to have a baby. And no, not in some Gloria Steinem alternate reality. Beatie, Popular Fidelity reports, was born a woman, but had gender reassignment surgery. His wife couldn't get pregnant, but he still could. So now the child's father will be the one to give birth.
And now a word from Thomas:
How does it feel to be a pregnant man? Incredible. Despite the fact that my belly is growing with a new life inside me, I am stable and confident being the man that I am. In a technical sense I see myself as my own surrogate, though my gender identity as male is constant. To Nancy, I am her husband carrying our child-I am so lucky to have such a loving, supportive wife. I will be my daughter's father, and Nancy will be her mother. We will be a family.
More power to them. People are sure to call this situation freakish, but the family actually sounds pretty suburban and normal except for this one challenge to traditional new-baby protocol (we see Miss Manners adjusting her baby shower etiquette chapter). We know families way wackier, and in far less ground-breaking ways.
Reader Comments ( Page 2 of 3)
16. I ran into a friend from high school yesterday, he had just gotten a sex change( from male to female). He looked kind of cute.
I asked him if it hurt when they cut off his penis?
He said " yeah, but that was not the most painfull part"
I asked " was it the vaginaplasty?
He said " that, too, hurt, but that was not the most painful part."
I said "Man, I can't imagine what could hurt worse than those two things, what could it have been?"
He said, slowly,....." When they cut open my head and sucked out half my brain!"
mac at 11:29PM on Mar 25th 2008
17. I think that this is wonderful. This little girl is going to be born into a loving, supportive family who faced many odds to ensure her creation and delivery. I don't think there's anything more beautiful in the world, and I think this issue has nothing to do with gender.
There are many children in this world who are born to parents who may lack not only dedication and love, but also the financial and emotional means to provide such a life. As far as I'm concerned, these are two responsible, successful adults.
As a woman, I'm often overwhelmed with honor and horror when I think of the responsibility with which I have been born, and I think that any person who accepts and values such a miracle is a wonderful person. I think, also, that it is a discredit to men to think that they have not been able to share in such a responsibility. I know that my husband would aide in our ability to have a child in any way possible - this was simply Thomas' contribution.
Crystal Moniz at 11:42PM on Mar 25th 2008
18. Solo les puedo decear la mejor suerte del mundo y mil bendiciones, mi mas grande admiracion puesto que enfrentar a la sociedad es un reto muy grande pero el enfrentar un embarazo y todo lo que esto envuelve es verdaderamente admirable en el momento que hablamos de quien lo desarrolla es un hombre...
Suerte y que consedan muchos bebes mas...
karina lopez at 9:58AM on Apr 6th 2008
19. I am REALLY not comfortable with this.
FYI. There is an error in the story as reported here. Beatie did NOT have reassignment surgery. He was not born sexually ambiguous. He was born with all of the girl parts intact and fully functional. I read his article in the Advocate. Straight from the horse's mouth so to speak.
He did have chest reconstruction and he has gone through the hormonal protocol. He last had a menstrual cycle 8 years ago. He is legally a man, but within his trousers his plumbing doesn't match the rest of his identity.
I am a bisexual and I am a mother to two sons who have a strong genetic likelihood of also being bi or gay. Both my grandmother and two cousins are equally more concerned with the soul and are happy to work with whatever plumbing comes with the souls we love. I ADORE transvestites, really, there is nothing as fun and spunky as the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and all of the good they do. Yet, I never felt right about referring to them as "she", because they could walk away from their female costumes and become men earning men's salaries and the privileges associated. They never had to worry when their cycles were late. In short they could stop playing pretend whenever they wanted and go back to being the beneficiaries of a paternalistic society.
It is with the same discomfort that I see this story. The ONE thing that has held women sacred is our unique ability to bear future generations of heirs, lovers, friends, family, presidents, domestic workers, warriors, inventors, artists. We Women have carried the past and the present civilizations in our wombs. I feel, I really feel, even as the farthest flung to the left liberal that I am, and I'm REALLY left, that this is theft.
I don't like to think that men can have it both ways. I am angry at this human for stealing the honor of motherhood. I support his need to be transgendered. I have dated a female to male transgender while he was in the midst of his transformation. I am impressed with the transgender commitment to be true to their identities, their souls, despite the social shunning and misunderstanding. I am honored to call them by whichever pronoun they identify with because they have made the commitment to wear the mantle of that gender identity.
This "man" has violated that code. Having it both ways is not a commitment to one's identity as a male or female. He is cheapening the sanctity of motherhood (yes, I said that) by making it a technical feat and not the ultimate declaration of womanhood that it is.
I'm a bit surprised by how vehemently I feel about this, but I would really love to have an honest discussion about this headline, this new family, that wasn't along the usual red ("pervert") and blue ("to each their own") boundary lines. This reminds me so much of Marge Piery's book: "She, He and It" which really explored gender attitudes about motherhood and woms in the context of social fabric in the far distant future. I'll have to check her website tomorrow.
Erica Ferko at 3:09PM on Mar 26th 2008
20. Daaaamn, if I was him, the first thing would say iS WHAT'D F*CK ??
And started to crie !!
The Man at 11:13AM on Mar 26th 2008
21. Um, this text was a bit wrong with "was born a woman, but had gender reassignment surgery.".. Now, an announcement;
HE STILL HAS A VAGINA, he never went to that surgery. He only had his breasts removed and started to take hormones etch. So that's the reason he was able to get pregnant.
Katie at 3:12PM on Mar 26th 2008
22. Presidential election is coming up and this is a good topic to argue among candidates. Whoever make a huge impact to this argument, I will vote for that candidate. This is a big issue to discuss and what to do to stop it. People who will do such thing by changing genders and decide to get pregnant should be jailed.He or She committed a federal offense.
Jean at 1:35AM on Mar 27th 2008
23. re 22:
Uh, no, it's not a federal offense. It's not even illegal. Granted, it's difficult to get your gender legally changed (I should know) but it's completely possible.
re the story: Good for him! I'm personally a bit surprised because hey, I'd never want to be pregnant, but if he feels that this is the best thing for his family, I'm on his side. Add to that the fact that he's still completely secure in his masculinity, and I think I'd shake his hand if I met him because that's quite impressive.
Cody at 10:14PM on Mar 30th 2008
24. I say bravo to Thomas and his wife for having the courage to do what makes them happy in a society where non-tradional practices are taboo and looked down upon. As a gay woman, I strive to equality and freedom and this is a step in the right direction for our GLBT future. This world would be a much happier place if everyone minded their own business. Any person that is CAPABLE to carry a child should have the right to do so. I’m sure that Thomas and his wife will love and cherish that child becuase of what they had to go through to have it and thats more than I can say about the heterosexual coupls of this world. I don’t think I have EVER heard of a gay couple who just had the wonderful opportunity to adopt a child, throwing that child in a trash can in an airport or putting the child through sever abuse. So take a look at your lives before you judge someone elses!
April at 9:16AM on Apr 1st 2008
25. First of all, he is a [trans]man and uses male pronouns. It is incredibly disrespectul, not to mention just plain incorrect, to refer to him as "she".
As for his pregnancy, it is really nothing special. He is also NOT the first transman to carry a child after transition. He just seems to like the media circus that he has now created.
jon at 7:23PM on Apr 1st 2008
26. Many of us at a luau in Hayward said we werent surprise when news reports stated he was from the islands, mother committed suicide n once a beauty contestant. Hawaii is known for the beatiful mahu's (maa-hooz) which hundreds start off hustling tourists as adolescents to stay fed. They find rich haoles n service men to pay for their sex change as teens, & many do. It's so bad that yrs. ago my mom told me the first thing the military warns service men who are stationed there, is to be careful if they befriend a beautiful local woman, the individual may be a man. Many young transgenders are beaten to death & dumped, robbed or sexually assaulted which is why the locals once protested to get the military bases off the islands. As quiet as it's kept, many of the women are also gay or bisexual, such as my mother (whom also attempt suicide)and a cousin. I always wondered if it was in the hawaiian genes or is God punishing my ppl b/c of their incestial ways before the missionaries arrived. He's a forgiving God but no one's sins will go unpunished. It was most common w/ chiefs who married & started families w/ their sisters. When I did my own research, many of my male mahu friends back home told me that they were molested by uncles, etc when they were little but dont know for sure if thats how they became gay. I pray for my ppl all the time b/c many haven't ever left the islands & aren't too bright but their beautiful good ppl, generous & most loyal friends, until someone pisses them off. At 12 yrs old I was sent to the mainland & had a healthy, Christian upbringing in the mainland w/ the Amer.Chinese side of my ohana (family)where there was 100% normality & proper nurturing. Traveling back & forth while majoring in psychology provided the ability to observe the various issues in both worlds. I also understand how it can be difficult for a tourist to c beyond the beauty of the islands into the soul of my ppl whom carry alot of pain & anger, anger passed from generation to generation before personal issues arised. And psychologically problems including a lack in parenting skills & self esteem. But the fact that so many want to be Hawaiian to the point that they'll lie on apps or pass the lie down to their children, rename themselves w/ hawaiian names 'or/and' Asians ridiculously claiming to be Pacific Islanders or part hawaiian w/ out a real clue of the horrors our ancestors have been thru, really offends yet amazes many of us.
adele h at 10:56AM on Apr 14th 2008
27. They sickos!!! That poor baby is going to be dramatized for the rest of it's life!
Lisa at 4:13AM on Nov 11th 2009
28. god help you .. the lord made us perfect he made women and men diferent for a reason women are the ones that carrie the babies not men you are playing with god and his creating ..men that are doing this are sick and playing with a high power ..may god have mercie on you
melissa at 10:18PM on Apr 4th 2008
29. Melissa, thank you for being the perfect representation of today's religious fuck-ups.
Do not wish "mercie" on anyone because you're not "god" and have NO SAY in what's right or wrong.
All I can say is power to the people-- everything we can learn from a pregnancy like this, or eventually a real man, can lead to greater medical advances in the future. Live and Learn.
Support at 1:19AM on Apr 6th 2008
30. This is so sick. These crazy women are so out there I wonder if they will ever come back to the truth.. SHE IS STILL A WOMEN!! She isnt a man and never will be. She was born a female and will die one. She might change her looks but deep down we ALL know its a female.. So what have they accomplished NOTHING!!!! Since females give birth everyday
crystalstar23 at 6:58PM on Apr 14th 2008