This week's Bad Parent column on Babble is written by Jeanne Sager, whose daughter sometimes watches six or more hours a day of television. Jeanne confesses: The truth is, I'm not crazy about all the TV watching in my house - whether it's Jillian or my husband in front of the screen. But I sacrifice to the TV gods in exchange for a work-from-home job, one that lets me spend more time with my daughter but requires me to offer her a smaller piece of my attention during the day.
Also on Babble this week: a comprehensive and quite funny dispatch about toddler TV. The author, L.J. Williamson, even manages to get a doctor at the AAP to clarify their famous "no TV under two" recommendation. Those of us whose kids watch an hour or so of "Big Bird in China" each day may find the doctor's response akin to religious absolution:
"We don't condemn many things in life. We don't hate television. We even gave Sesame Street an award. But what we're here to do is make recommendations for optimal health, and for infants, TV is not optimal. No two-dimensional screen can equal a three-dimensional caretaker. But we're not going to tell people 'You can't watch TV' - that's silly poo-poo. We are not the nation's nannies. TV is here to stay. But we have to learn to manage it and not let it manage us."
Read "Bad Parent: Screen Queen" here.Read "TV or No TV" here.
So, how much TV do your kids watch, and what do you think it's doing to them?
Reader Comments ( Page 1 of 5)
1. My boys (4 & 2) watch t.v. until they are done...I don't set a time limit on it and they usually stop watching on their own after 2 hours. They don't like "regular" cartoons though- they will only watch the educational ones. Which are mostly on in the morning and not the afternoon. I can get my household errands done in those two hours and still have the rest of the day with my boys. And since they do watch the educational cartoons - my oldest can count in english and spanish and is quickly picking up speaking in spanish, as well as learning problems solving and thinking skills. My two year old is also learning a lot about problem solving and can also use a few spanish words correctly (and a few more incorrectly!) I think spending time with them one on one is much more important and we do a lot together since I am a stay at home mom (my husband is in the Army - and is home sparadically but spends as much time with them as possible) but the t.v. is a good learning tool - especially since I don't know Spanish or Chinese (yes, one show they watch teaches Chinese!) I don't think everything they learn they are going to learn from me & their father. They play video games that are age and learning appropriate and they also go to daycare twice a week and they have playgroups with other kids as well and they play games on the computer. My four year old is already self suffecient on the computer and can turn his own games on and off and navigate through them without help. So, they aren't sitting in front of the t.v. for six hours a day (for crying out loud!) But, they do watch t.v. and they do learn from it. I think, as is most things with kids, t.v. is just about balance. I don't think it's the best thing for them - on a constant basis - but it can add to the learning process for them.
Jackie at 9:07AM on Mar 28th 2008
2. I have two sons, ages 4 and 7. They watch a whole lot of t.v. During the summer they like playing outside better, but towards the evening they watch t.v. Other than the fact that it's not healthy to sit for long periods of time, I see nothing wrong with watching t.v. It's like the internet, it teaches you so many many things! As long as you pay attention to the shows they are watching, I think it's fine and dandy. Now, on the other hand, there are brats running wild all over the neighborhood where I live, cutting holes in my trampoline with a knife, vandalizing everybodys property, and have absolutely no adult supervision, aren't fed, and could be kidnapped at any moment...and their parents are what I consider bad parents. Don't beat yourselves up, watching t.v. is not bad! After a three hours though, you might want to turn on an excersize video, break out some crayons, or some playdough or something.
Jennifer at 11:06AM on Mar 28th 2008
3. I let my 2 year old watch TV. Like #1, most of her favorite shows are educational. She loves Dora & Diego (learning Spanish) and sometimes watches the Backyardigans (I've never watched a whole lot of this show; she likes it for the penguin). Her favorite show is SuperWhy on PBS, and it is a GREAT show. The whole show is about learning to read and recognizing letters. She just turned 2 and she knows her entire alphabet and can even recognize a few small words. When we go out, she "reads" every sign we see (naming all the letters). I think it's stimulated her. But she usually tires of watching TV after about 2 hours. That's when I put on an old Baby Einstein or Veggie Tales CD and we listen to the music while she colors/plays/etc.
Tara at 11:18AM on Mar 28th 2008
4. My 13 month old daughter watches maybe 15 minutes a week at the most. I see what a zombie it makes her, she zones out, and I'm not comfortable with that. I use the time to clip her nails and cut her hair if she needs it.
We much prefer her have interactions with her toys and her parents/grandparents. We both work fulltime, but we make the effort to spend time with her and not to watch tv until she's gone to bed and not to let her turn into a zombie in front of it.
She's very inquisitive and she learns a lot more from playing. She's got 50 words, which I'm sure she wouldn't have if we sat her in front of the tv for 6 hours a day! Eventually we'll let her watch more, but while her brain is developing and she's making connections we avoid tv.
Everyone picks on us for it, they mock us, but hey, that's our preference. We also don't give her sugar, and she prefers vegetables and healthy foods because of it.
BigDaddyRye at 11:25AM on Mar 28th 2008
5. You can justify all you want, that your kids only watch "educational shows", and they are "learning" so much more, but the fact is, 2 hours a day of tv at the age when most kids should be expanding their vocabulary and interacting with others and playing is detrimental. So suck it up and take repsonisbility. Rather than spend time interacting with your children, or having them learn to play by themselves and be inqusitve, the TV babysits them.
meggie at 12:21PM on Mar 28th 2008
6. If your child is watching two hours of TV a day, that means she is watching 14 hours a week. A child sleeps about 10 hours a day, so at two hours of television a day, your child is averaging a full waking day of television a week. And how many children actually watch only two hours a day...even you say that you don't set a time limit. I would advise you to actually put a clock to the amount of time, morning and evening that your children are watching TV. I think you might be surprised at how badly you underestimated the time they spend are sitting in front of the television. Sure, television has it's place in our children's lives, but so does exercise, competition, chores, education and free play. To many of our children are learning to live their lives through the a TV screen instead of actually participating in their own life!
falling at 12:47PM on Mar 28th 2008
7. Meggie,
How about you get off your judgmental horse? You don't know what we do with our children with the other 14 hours a day. My husband works full time and goes to school full time, and sometimes the 2 hours she spends watching a cartoon that educates her is the only time I have to wash clothes, dishes, prepare lunches and dinner, etc. You know NOTHING about my (or poster #1's, for that matter) home life. You don't know how many hours we spend reading books, playing at the playground with the other children in our neighborhood, coloring, learning to read, etc. When you come spend a day at my house you can judge me on whether the TV "babysits" my child. Until then keep your hateful judgmental posts to yourself.
Tara at 12:52PM on Mar 28th 2008
8. I have a 2 year old and a 1 year old and everyday they want to "watch" veggie tales. The tv is mainly on for sound while they run around and chase each other and wrestle and do things normal toddlers do. If I shut the tv off its no big deal. Sometimes they watch it, other times they just sing along with it while playing. I dont let the tv babysit my kids, but it does help when I need to clean or cook. But usually their right under me trying to help. Hey your the parent, you know whats best for your child. If you want to let them watch tv all day w/ no interaction or learning than thats your stupid choice.
Christine at 12:56PM on Mar 28th 2008
9.
My daughter is 10 now, but when she was a toddler she watched some TV..... Sesame Street, Dora the Explorer and similar shows. We never let her watch those cartoons I consider "franticly" paced.
We must have done something right because now, while she does watch some Nickolodean shows aimed at her age group, her favorite channels are Discovery, the Science channel, the History channel and stuff like that. Her choices thrill me.
When we watch TV as a family in front of the TV during dinner once in awhile, we watch America's Funniest Videos or the Game Show Network. She loves it when she knows the answers to some of the questions. She once knew the answer to a $250,000 question (that the contestent didn't know) on Who Wants to be a Millionaire and she bragged about it for weeks.
I also like the fact that if she isn't actively watching TV, she turns it off without being told.
FL Chick at 1:32PM on Mar 28th 2008
10. Hmm,#7 - maybe you and your full time working husband should HAVE waiting till you had time to have children then - or till you were financially stable enough to keep a parent at home - why rush into it and then not have enough time to also wash clothes, dishes, etc like you listed, it shouldn't be your child's fault that you're an irresponsible breeder
Amy at 1:56PM on Mar 28th 2008
11.
This is off the topic of this blog, I guess, but - what angers me most with parents of school aged children; some pay no attention to what their kids watch. But then when they see something they shouldn't - partial nudity or a cuss word - they fly off the handle and demand immediate censorship from the government. Take care of your own kids and your household and keep the government out of TV programming. For those who have cable, there are ways to block channels you don't want your kids to have access to. And guess what? They have found that less than 1% of all households use it!
David S. at 2:11PM on Mar 28th 2008
12. I find the best way to limit our daughter's TV watching is to not watch TV ourselves. Late at night, after bedtime for babies, my husband and I will watch maybe one hour or so & that's it.
Our 2 yr. old knew her alphabet (sort-of) by 16 months, & now knows it perfectly, along with various songs, all shapes, colors, counting in both English & Spanish (thanks, Dora!) & other Spanish words. Her (English) vocabulary amazes us. I credit TV with a lot of this.
On the downside, I do think there is good evidence for the ADHD argument. We find her to get easily bored and she'll often ask or even beg for the TV, despite the fact that we play with her constantly. Also, much of her imaginitive play has TV characters in it, and sometimes this makes me sad, like it somehow "replaces" her imagination. I can see how this can limiting.
I admire mothers who are wholly self-sacrificing and do everything they're supposed to. I often wonder how one can stay happy that way, though. I am incapable of doing everything for my kids and not getting a "breather" now & then...
Funda at 2:17PM on Mar 28th 2008
13. Gotta keep this short because I have to get my daughter up from her nap in a few minutes.
Amy - don't presume to know anything about my life. You have no idea how long I've been married, how long we waited to have a baby, whether or not I stay at home, how long my husband waited to go back to get his masters. You are part of the problem with some women, meaning that instead of being positive and encouraging other parents if you feel your way is best, you resort to name-calling and self-righteous judgment. I hope for the sake of other women you know that you don't take the same attitude with personal friends that you take on a blog.
FL Chick - sounds like you've done a wonderful job with your child. I hope she continues to excel.
Funda - I think every mom has that same wish to have time to "breathe" and try to find it at some point during the day or week. I admire women like this too, though I have known some who are so tired and burned out that a 20 minute rest might have done them some good. I guess that's just one of the delicate balances of parenting.
Gotta go, nap time is over and now it's playground time. Have a great weekend everyone!
Tara at 2:43PM on Mar 28th 2008
14. I'm more than a bit surprised at all the parents on here who seem to be unable to have time to do housework or other chores without sitting their children in front of the TV. Don't get me wrong, I was a stay at home mom and I like television. But I did not use the TV as a baby sitter. I believe that parents today have bought into the idea that children need to be "entertained" every waking hour. What is wrong with putting your child/children in there room and telling them to play for a while? Or give your very young children a couple of pots and let them play on the kitchen floor while you wash dishes. Give a 3 yr old a rag and tell them to wash the table or even the floor-they'll love it! Sure you'll have to do it over (out of their sight please!), but they will be interacting with you and learning at the same time. BTW, in my experience, the parents who are the most defensive about their parenting activities are usually the ones who are least connected with their children.
falling at 3:48PM on Mar 28th 2008
15. Tara, Why isn't your two year old at your side as you do the dishes, wash clothing, etc. She would love it and that contact would provide her with many more skills than the television ever would. Be sure to interact with her while you do the chores together...put the blue shirt in, put the towel in the drawer on the left, etc. I'm not judging you for setting your child in front of the television...your child, your choice. I'm just letting you know that there are other very good interactive learning options out there.
There are many children starting school who can say the alphabets or read, but are incapable of interacting with their peers or adults. Who can print their name, but cannot share their crayons. Learning is not about who can do what the youngest. It is about being well rounded and interactive with life.
falling at 3:49PM on Mar 28th 2008