This week's Bad Parent column on Babble is written by Jeanne Sager, whose daughter sometimes watches six or more hours a day of television. Jeanne confesses: The truth is, I'm not crazy about all the TV watching in my house - whether it's Jillian or my husband in front of the screen. But I sacrifice to the TV gods in exchange for a work-from-home job, one that lets me spend more time with my daughter but requires me to offer her a smaller piece of my attention during the day.
Also on Babble this week: a comprehensive and quite funny dispatch about toddler TV. The author, L.J. Williamson, even manages to get a doctor at the AAP to clarify their famous "no TV under two" recommendation. Those of us whose kids watch an hour or so of "Big Bird in China" each day may find the doctor's response akin to religious absolution:
"We don't condemn many things in life. We don't hate television. We even gave Sesame Street an award. But what we're here to do is make recommendations for optimal health, and for infants, TV is not optimal. No two-dimensional screen can equal a three-dimensional caretaker. But we're not going to tell people 'You can't watch TV' - that's silly poo-poo. We are not the nation's nannies. TV is here to stay. But we have to learn to manage it and not let it manage us."
Read "Bad Parent: Screen Queen" here.Read "TV or No TV" here.
So, how much TV do your kids watch, and what do you think it's doing to them?
Reader Comments ( Page 4 of 5)
46. don't have kids if you won't make the time to spend with them!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had rotten parents like you 2!!!!
df at 6:00PM on Mar 30th 2008
47. don't have kids if you won't make the time to spend with them!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had rotten parents like you 2!!!!
df at 6:07PM on Mar 30th 2008
48. I am a nanny for two different families with toddlers and preschoolers. When I have to do dishes, clean up, fold laundry, etc. at my job, I make sure the kids have a coloring book, a puzzle, or toys to play with! Why use tv as a babysitter when you can just as easily give the kids an activity to do or some toys to play with?
A.C. at 6:19PM on Mar 30th 2008
49. Every time I see ads for toddler television or baby genius programs marketed, I am absolutely infuriated. YES, prominent pediatricians already know that it is NOT good for children to watch TV, or so much TV, and certainly never under a certain age...and WHY??? That is what is not stated. And here is the truth. In a developing brain, too much over stimulation via the medium and the methods that happen during TV, computer and video game usage FUNDAMENTALLY changes how the brain develops and processes information.
Why so many ADD and ADHD children? Look at the timelines... match them up. Read the results provided by brain researchers at universities around the world, who have tested and measured what this kind of stimulation does the the brain!
Or just stay the same lazy selfish parents and say, what can I do..it's already there...Some people should not be allowed to reproduce, especially the ignorant or the arrogant! As a person who is left to clean up their messes and correct their children, in the school systems, we really ought to charge them higher taxes, for all the extra work it takes to TRY and educate them, and charge punitive fines for all the time they steal away from other children whose parents actually do their jobs !!!
Oodb at 6:37PM on Mar 30th 2008
50. For starters, I'd like to say that there are some women on here who are just downright nasty, and I'd like to know what exactly it is that you're hoping to accomplish by bringing such demeanor to a web blog where other women are trying to share experiences and perhaps get some feedback that may help them in the future.
I am a fairly young mother, 27 with a 4 year old boy. Sure, I didn't wait until I was older, or financially secure enough to be able to be a stay-at-home mother, but as much as he was a surprise, my son was the biggest blessing I've ever had the pleasure of receiving. And as much as I'd prefer to be at home with my son instead of having to work in Corporate America to help put food on the table, I wouldn't trade anything about the fact that I had my child at 23.
Now don't get me wrong, I may feel guilty on the days when I'm working and only get to see my son for 2 hours each day, and yes, he may watch television in the morning while he's eating breakfast and I'm getting ready for work, or in the evening when I come home and am trying to prepare dinner, but it's all about balance, and choices. My son loves Noggin and Animal Planet; he doesn't watch those nasty violent cartoons. And we sit down together each night and have dinner and talk about his day at preschool. And we will sit and snuggle each night after his bath and watch Dora or The Backyardigans before it is time for his stories and then bed. But no one is going to make me feel bad about the fact that I let my child watch TV, and they shouldn't be trying to do that to anyone else.
My child gets as much, if not more, playtime outside with the neighbors and myself or his father as he gets to watch television. We go to the park together, we color, we play play-doh and blocks, we have arts and crafts time, we go to Chuck-E-Cheese and play together. He watches me cook, he helps with laundry (he has his own hamper that he has to bring to us when it's time to wash his clothes and he helps load the washer), he's getting as many of life skills as he needs at his age. And he's also learning some things from the television programs he watches as well.
There is nothing wrong with letting a child watch television. Think about your childhood. Did you NEVER, EVER watch TV? If you say yes, then you're lying. People need to get off their soap-boxes and saying things like the TV is a 'babysitter'. Because honestly, if someone did use their TV as a babysitter, do you really think they'd be posting on a website like this? No. And you know why? Because it's obvious they don't care about their parenting skills, or lack thereof, so why would they come anywhere looking for feedback or to share their own experiences?
So for those of you who feel guilty about letting your child watch TV, don't do that to yourself. You can only do your best, and if you need the TV to entertain your child for a bit while you get things done that you need to, then there is nothing wrong with that, so long as you're making sure that you too are interacting with them as well.
Love and Light to all.
Angie at 1:29PM on Mar 31st 2008
51. Ok I have read some of these comments and I have to say, there are some judgemental hags out there. Do not ever presume to judge someone else until you have walked in their shoes.
I am a stay at home mom, with my husband away for FIVE SOLID MONTHS, training for his job. I try to interact with my little girl 99% of the time she is awake, but by the end of the day, I need 30 mintues to make my dinner and just relax, since nap time is spent doing laundry, washing dishes, and dealing with schoolwork.
Am I an "irresponsible breeder?" Absolutely not. I would be if I hired someone person to do the things I am entirely capable of doing, so I could stare at my child 24 hours a day. It sounds like some people have no idea how your identity can get sucked up by your kids, and how you must make sure to have "me time" to keep your own personality.
Kids watching a reasonable amount of tv, that is age appropriate, is not an evil thing, as long as the rest of the time, you are reading, playing, and even watching the program with them.
Leena at 12:46AM on Mar 31st 2008
52. To AMY,
How dare you call another woman an "irresponible breeder" !! What in the world is wrong with you? Do you need some PSY meds to even you out?
Not everyone has the luxury to be able to stay at home with their children while their hubby goes out and works for the entire family. For the women who do have that luxury, I admire you for making the choice to be with your kids. BUT, there are many many other women out there who have to work to support their families for a varity of reasons. At least some women choose to work and not just "use the system". Not to mention, some women work very hard to build a career and should be entitled to develop a career and have a family. (Perhaps you have never had any aspirations of your own!!??)
Finally Amy, your comment implies that only those who are rich are entitled to have children and I believe that is a very scary frame of mind.
THINK BEFORE YOU POST YOUR COMMENTS!!!
LK at 2:08AM on Mar 31st 2008
53. #37 - you would be wrong. As I am an RN and have a BS in physical education, I can firmly attest to the fact that our nation is becoming a nation of couch potatoes - especially children. Recess has been taken out of the curriculum in a lot of schools, kids play video games and watch way too much TV.
I have a child with whom I stayed home for 15 years. During that time, he was allowed the same amount of TV as activity. If he played without TV for 1 hour, he received an hour of TV. If he played for over 3 hours, it was split up for days at a time. He is now 17 years old. He is on the tennis team, the school newspaper and will graduate with honors in May. He has also received two merit scholarships. So, your assessment was wrong on all counts.
les at 4:04PM on Mar 31st 2008
54. You people with a 13 month olds who do not allow them to watch TV... Great choice. However we are do not all have a degree in education. It is a bit of a help to aid in teaching. It is a good idea to watch a few of these shows to help to teach letters, spanish, signing, etc. I am a mother of 3 boys. They are 12, 10, and six. I relish in the time that they watch TV. I get to make phone calls etc. My oldest simply would not learn from me. My 10 year old was reading at 4. All kids are different. That being said my son who would not learn from me is at the top of his class in 7th grade. He is an honor student with great goals, morals, and values. Meggie, I do not know if you have other children,. If you do not why do you not try putting a few years in before you judge. My little boy who was reading at 4 and did not watch much TV is having a hard time in fourth grade. ALL KIDS ARE DIFFERENT. To the mom who does not give her kids any sugar. Do not worry the schools will give it to your kids. Then they will be sugar addicts. I know I made all of my baby food fresh and organic. Now my kids love sugar at grandmas, school, and friends. Moderation is key people. How about stop judging. If you other people see kids in the street not being fed offer them some food for god sakes. Maybe then they will leave your trampoline alone. Here is a thought, offer them to play on it. It takes a village to raise one child and maybe the mom is having some problems. GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSES AND OFFER SOME HELP. Also, excuse my typos, I am dyslexic.
cathy at 6:54PM on Apr 1st 2008
55. Angie - I am sure you meant well. However, a blog is where people come to express their opinions. You have to have a backbone to do so because every one is fair game. If you are this sensitive and are working in corporate America, you better grow up fast.
les at 7:45AM on Apr 1st 2008
56. #54 (Les): I'm slightly confused at how my "assessment" was wrong on all counts.... I didn't say that America wasn't a nation of "couch potatoes" I said that childhood obesity starts with parents who don't properly nurish their child - mind, body, and soul. Too many American's rely on "fast" food and aren't cooking nutritious meals anymore. Too many parents don't introduce and keep veggies and other healthy food in a child's daily meals. To many parents allow t.v. or video games to compensate or replace outside activity and excercise and interaction with other children. And that is where childhood obesity starts. It does not start with allowing your child to watch an appropriate amount of television as was indicated in the post that I responded to initially.
I'm confused why you are critizing me in the first place - and quite doggedly I must say- when you admit to having let your child watch t.v. in a manner that you saw fit when he/she was young and I am merely doing the same thing with MY children. (Note that "MY" - they are mine to raise and not yours. It doesn't have to be "your way") Although, I must say - I do like the way you employed television privilages... clever and something to be tried if parents are having a hard time getting their kids away from the t.v. I, luckily, don't have that problem. My boys are all to eager to go outside or to play in their room (where, no, they don't have their own t.v.) Anyway, as an RN and with your degree - you must know a great deal more than me (and no, that is not sarcastic. I appreciate and acknowledge and respect a person with a higher education than myself.) but you are being a wee bit... what's the word....mean spirited with me and I am more than confused why.
Congrats on your son and his accomplishments. He seems to be a well rounded young man and clearly has his parents to thank for it.
Jackie at 7:10PM on Mar 31st 2008
57. You people have it all wrong.
My T.V. watches six hours of toddler each day!
mac at 11:56PM on Mar 31st 2008
58.
mac, interesting take.
Since you're looking at it that way, all I can say is what my bedroom TV watches most nights is way TMI for the blog.
Here's a tip for the few who haven't thought of it: the TV volume is a great cover for other.. ahem... sounds that might be made. The kid can't overhear nothin'!
FL Chick at 12:07AM on Apr 1st 2008
59. FL Chick
You always have insight.
My wife uses a large fan, I hate it that she leaves it on all night...wait, I meant she leaves the fan on all night, or do I?
mac at 1:15AM on Apr 1st 2008
60.
Here's how the TV volume thingy started:
A year or so ago, when my daughter was 9, I came out of the bedroom, and she was sitting at a desk very near our bedroom door.
She stood up with a BIG grin on her face and said "I heard you and daddy having SEX!"
It was one of those moments where you only have a split second to come up with something to say.
Not wanting to make a big deal out of it, the best I could come up with was to casually say "Well then, I guess you don't need to be sitting here using my computer anymore."
I don't leave my laptop there anymore and that's when we started turning the TV volume up louder.
Hope she's not traumatized for life! :)
FL Chick at 1:46AM on Apr 1st 2008