Writer and activist Jennifer Baumgardner has created a new T-shirt (with the guy who invented the '90s staple "Vinnie's Tampon Case"). The shirt reads: "I was raped."
In a New York Times story about the shirts, journalist Susan Dominus writes: What was she going for? A shirt that would let rape victims "own the experience," [Baumgardner] says, and would help chip away the cone of silence that surrounds a crime with humiliation at its core.
A woman on the website Scarleteen.com, which is selling the shirts, writes,
What it illustrates is how difficult rape can be to speak about, and how often those of us who have survived sexual assaults and abuses feel (largely because we are told, by our rapists and by the people around us) it is something shameful we must keep locked up inside ourselves: the open safe is a gesture of unlocking that silence, having that conversation, refusing to keep something which is often so huge so deeply hidden and silenced.
Reader Comments ( Page 1 of 3)
1. I approve of the shirt. Having it flung in people's faces in this case is a good thing. If for no other reason, perhaps a date rape situation would be less likely to occur if someone sees this a few times beforehand. Date rape is so visciously common. Being a rape victim I can tell you no one gets over it completely. There is no way to incorporate it (even after 40 years) into one's being without losing a crucial human element: trust. Trust, once lost, is not regained.
web jones at 9:26AM on Apr 8th 2008
2. not that I think it's a bad idea for rape victems to be able to "own" their experiance, but seems like the shirt might trivialize rape in general. People will see it as a novelty, guys will wear one and laugh, thinking it's funny.
Althoe...I have to say the thought of a pregnant woman wearing an " I was raped " t-shirt makes me giggle inappropriately.
Heather at 9:28AM on Apr 8th 2008
3. Oh please this is nothing more than a tastles attempt at getting the "artists" name out there nothing more. I agree people will wear the shirt like men pregnant woman etc...it will turn rape into a joke makeing it harder for woman to speak up when they really are.
nate at 10:17AM on Apr 8th 2008
4. This will bring about a new string of t-shirts, which shall read:
The best revenge is living well. Get over it.
Strados at 11:22AM on Apr 8th 2008
5. It is great if this shirt is being sold to women who were actually raped. But there are many, many spurious claims of "he raped me." Look at the Kobe Bryant case and the Duke LaCrosse case. There are many women out there who will yell "rape" to make a point to get even or just for the attention. True rapists should have their gonads cut off with a rusty knife. However, prosecutors are going after alleged rapists with NO evidence to back them up and, because it is popular of a crime to pillory men on and carry out a Feminist agenda, inncoent men are being convicted of their heinous crime.
Father John at 11:27AM on Apr 8th 2008
6. This will bring about a new string of t-shirts, which shall read:
The best revenge is living well. Get over it.
Strados at 11:27AM on Apr 8th 2008
7. This turns my stomach. I AM a rape victim... I feel that rape is a serious matter. It is something that I will live with for the rest of my days. I have spent so much time trying to get back to a safe place, not feel like it was my fault, be able to be intimate with someone without feeling as though I was back in that place & time. The fact that there are going to be shirts saying "I Was Raped" sickens me and angers me. There WILL be people wearing them as jokes... the shirt is supposedly made so that a rape victim doesn't have to feel as though its something she needs to hide? Is it something to broadcast so that other predators will see them as easy prey? Is it a shirt a 15 year old girl should be wearing or finding in her locker as a cruel joke? These things will happen. Rape is a serious matter. When it is made light of I cringe. It seems the artist just thought of something controversial because it was an attention getter. When being raped becomes just another joke a funny haha... see how many more young women (& men!) keep it to themselves rather than speaking out. Ugh! I pray that I don't happen to walk by someone with one of these shirts on... for everytime I hear the word I am reminded of what was done to me... I don't need it, don't want it & have no respect for those that find humor in it. Wearing a shirt isn't going to get you through the emotional pain, walking around with a 'badge of honor' isn't going to make everything better, making it "socially acceptable" to be a rape victim is just going to teach these men and women that its not that bad... that it happens to 'everyone' or so many others... absolutely disgusting.
Darlene at 3:48PM on Jun 4th 2008
8. The more i think about this the angrier i get; rape is such a serious crime and to basicaly make a t shirt celibrating it is a spit in the face to everyone who has ever been effected by this.
So we are desensitising rape so, what? the rapest feels better i dont get it, on make it more excepitble....um..for who?
Man, this woman is the defanition of an artist "and i use that word loosly" who is clearly out of touch.
william cate at 11:49AM on Apr 8th 2008
9. Father John writes: "However, prosecutors are going after alleged rapists with NO evidence to back them up and, because it is popular of a crime to pillory men on and carry out a Feminist agenda, inncoent men are being convicted of their heinous crime." 11:27AM on Apr 8th 2008
If youre a priest no wonder you think it is a bogus claim for so many women. I assume you think that is so for young boys too when they are raped by priests.
carol at 12:22PM on Apr 8th 2008
10. While I think wearing such a t-shirt is somewhat tasteless, I would never presume to know the horror a rape victim experiences.
Father John - don't know what you are "father" of, but where in the "feminist agenda" did it ever say women should falsely accuse men of rape? You are ridiculous, and unless you have walked a mile in a rape victim's shoes, maybe you should watch what you say - or write.
David S. at 12:42PM on Apr 8th 2008
11. I'm sorry,but it sounds rather bizzare.Rape is an awful and horrible crime.We must not further hurt the victim by exposing her to more hurt and shame.
On the other hand,society needs to change it's attitudes.
aniekan thomas at 1:03PM on Apr 8th 2008
12. Darlene, I am so sorry that you have had to add such a dreadful thing to your list of life experiences. No, this is not a Badge of Honor nor is it a Right of Passage, you do not get rewards for being raped, you get a reward if you survive to live a full life - not a bloody tee shirt for Gods sake. People who have been raped don't need a momento, like a keepsake from a rock concert, what they need is love and caring from society.
Thank God I've never been raped but once while traveling alone in Europe I nearly was - I was very, very lucky, and even with that mere close call my stomach heaves every time I think of it.
I'm all for making money, lets face it money helps, but this is one money making scheme that should be seen for what it is - a vial abuse of the already abused.
I worked with children who had been physically and sexually abused, so I have to ask "What next?". Surely some 'good' thinking soul will start producing little onsies with "I'm the victim of child abuse" on them. You could have cute little pink ones for girls and lttle blue ones for boys. So adorable - don't you think - or perhaps we've just stopped thinking all together.
Come on people, let's start taking life a little more seriously - everything isn't up for grabs in the money making stakes. And as far as "art" is concerned, well this goes right up there with the "artist" who came up with the idea to cast Suri Cruise's (Tom Cruise's daughter) first poop in bronze. How sick is this society?
Anyway keep on keeping on Darlene - life is so short - don't let that bastard take any more of your time, every day you are sad is just one more victory for him.
Margaret at 1:35PM on Apr 8th 2008
13. Unfortunately, we live in a day and age where serious problems are now considered cool. I am not that far out of High School and have seen groups of girls who consider rape to be a badge of honor. In their eyes, being raped means you're so desirable, a (sometimes random) man would become so agressive and risk jail time just to be with you. I'm positive none of the girls that made this claim happily actually WERE raped, but it goes to show you that it's already being addressed with the wrong attitude.
In these same groups, annorexia is also common because being "super model skinny" is so important to them.
I've also known cutters who (as opposed to REAL people plagued with the "cutting" disorder) would advertise it and stick it in people's faces, stopping just as soon as they got enough attention or time off from school to sate them for a little while. (Note: people who really have this problem are more likely to hide it because they feel ashamed, not advertise it.)
My point to all this, is today's youth are already making light of very serious problems. I would only give it a matter of time before I see this shirt floating down the halls of my old school likes it's some sort of morbid joke. To young girls who have been raped, this might only encourage them to keep it quiet. No one wants to be the butt of a joke, and like someone quoted above, I could see these shirts landing in the lockers and backpacks of girls who have been legitimately violated.
I think it's a very bad idea... and I think the above opinions were right when they said this "artist" is only putting out such a controversial shirt for attention.
H at 1:08PM on Apr 8th 2008
14. Darlene @ post #7.
"have spent so much time trying to get back to a safe place, not feel like it was my fault, be able to be intimate with someone without feeling as though I was back in that place & time."
------------------------------------------
Your post is very moving. There is a relatively new treatment for aiding victims of trauma. It is called, "E.M.D.R." It is relatively simple and requires a few hours of therapy. It requires no pharmaceuticals. At first glance, it appears a bit silly, but it works. It allows your brain to properly "file" those horrifying images. You won't forget those memories, but they will become much more manageable.
I urge you to check it out. It has been very helpful to a couple of people I know. One a rape victim, the other a victim of a non-sexual assault. Both traumas were decades old. The relief was almost immediate.
Captain Negative at 1:23PM on Apr 8th 2008
15. I'm a victim of rape. Both date rape and by a crazy man I didn't know. Upon first glance, the t-shirt made me cringe. My first thought was that someone thought it was cool or hip to be raped, like: "I went on vacation and got raped and all I got was this T-Shirt" The fact that we are blogging about rape is a good thing, so something good is coming out of this.
The movies make rape seem really hot and it is sometimes hard to see a movie without a gratuitous rape scene in it. However, the moment you put a rape scene with man on man/boy, it is seen as much more serious. Give me a break! Rape is not hot, it strips a person of dignity, and it's a very violent act in a sick way whether its done to a woman or man.
Yes, I think the T-shirt trivializes rape. Rape victims are completely embarrassed about being victims. 90% of women I know have been raped/molested and 10% of men that I know (who have the courage to talk about it) have been raped/molested. I only know two people who actually reported it. So, I find it funny that a person on this blog going by the name "Father John" writes about Kobe Bryant, people crying "wolf" and false prosecuting men. Believe me, the % of unprosecuted cases FAR OUT WEIGH the % of false prosecutions.
As far as Kobe, the woman withdrew from the case after her name was revealed to the public and she had death threats sent to her. I look at Kobe and see a rapist not a great basketball player.
Maybe that should be the T-Shirt... Maybe all the men who have raped someone should wear "Rapist." I think it would surprise us how many men would be wearing them if they were honest.
Disappointed at 1:23PM on Apr 8th 2008