Balls, Strikes and Undeserved Vacation

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Balls, Strikes and Undeserved Vacation

Posted Apr 30th 2008 4:20PM by Ben Mankiewicz
Filed under: Young Turks, Sports

So I'm at the A's-Angels series opener this week and I see two things totally new to my baseball eyes. First, it's Frank Thomas legging out a triple. More on that in a moment, because Frank Thomas – speed demon – was nothing compared to what I saw two innings later.

It begins with Angels pitching coach Mike Butcher (4 years in the Majors, 82 walks in 137 innings, a 4.47 ERA – just ineffective enough to teach others) visiting the mound to talk to starter Jon Garland. Home plate umpire Charlie Relaford comes out to break up the meeting, but Butcher keeps talking, seeming to ignore Relaford. When Butcher finally starts to head back to the dugout, he and Relaford start jawing. Suddenly – Bam! Butcher gets tossed – first time I've seen a pitching coach ejected on the field after a meeting on the mound.

But that's not the incredible part. After a quote from Angels manager Mike Scioscia that Relaford "may have been having a bad day," the AP story on the game contained this line, "It was Relaford's first game back from vacation, which he had to cut short due to the..."

What the? A Major League umpire was on vacation? On April 28th? Were the rigors of the season's first four weeks just too much for him? Here's a crazy thought. Maybe big league umpires could take that cruise to Puerto Vallarta in November. Or January. Or one of those unpleasant months when no one's playing baseball.

I went to Journalism school. I know what to do here. I called the MLB press office and asked them, ya know, how come an umpire is allowed to take a vacation 25 games into the season and you know what they said? OK, I didn't call, but I did do a Google search for "umpires" and "vacation" and it seems these guys get four weeks paid vacation – wait for it – DURING THE SEASON. They may be the only people in America who get more time off than George Bush. You can practically hear the umpires union recruiting pitch: "All the excitement of American sports with the backbreaking schedule of a French civil service employee."

Back to Frank Thomas. The triple itself does little to alleviate the concerns of those who think his problems at the plate are greater than his typical April struggles, but are more likely the symptoms of having Frank Thomas's body, but Dave Thomas's bat speed. And Dave Thomas is dead.

(By the way, would Dave Thomas have allowed Arby's to buy Wendy's? What kind of a world do we live in where Arby's is bigger than Wendy's? Wendy's is a classic single, maybe a double with cheese. Arby's is a gimmick – 5 sandwiches for $5? Please.)

Anyway, you've probably seen the highlight by now on "Sports Center." Thomas is very late on a Garland fastball and lofts a high flyball to right, near the line. Vlad Guerrero is essentially playing right-center, gets there late and over-runs the ball. So here's Thomas rumbling around second and heading to third. As I watched – A lonely A's fan in the OC – it was like that scene in the train station in "The Untouchables." Thomas is barreling toward third like the baby carriage careening down the steps. It's a very precarious situation. You need Sean Connery to throw up the stop sign. But he's been gunned down – murdered in his own apartment.. But you still have Andy Garcia. He kills Capone's men AND saves the baby. And a smiling, healthy Frank Thomas slides into third with his first triple since the second Cleveland administration. Or maybe it was a White Sox game against Cleveland. I don't recall. Either way, the whole thing will make a great story when an exhausted Thomas takes a week off in August for a little vacation in Aruba.

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Reader Comments ( Page 1 of 1)

1. Perhaps, if you were a journalist, you would have made that phone call to find out some facts instead of pulling thoughts out of your ass, as usual. You might find that these guys work for a month straight - everyday, and weekends + travel in between. At which point, they get a week off to go home and see their families, repack and do it again. Since baseball now stretches, idiotically, from April first to November that equals four weeks of vacation over eight months.

Please go to more baseball games so you can more filler for your blog.

OpenYourBlindEye08 at 5:39PM on Apr 30th 2008

2. Hey there Big Guy,

Umpires and referees keep it what it is....a game.

Willet at 7:16PM on Apr 30th 2008

3. Cenk - Yes, Frank Thomas is struggling, but it's a young man's game. To be able to do what Thomas did last year approaching 40 is amazing. Hitting major league pitching is an extraordinary feat.

At 100 MPH you have 36/100 of a second from the time the ball leaves the pitcher's hand until it's in the catcher's glove. Factor in curves, sliders, change-ups, etc. Then there's the occasional bean-ball so you can't get too comfortable. It's mind-numbingly difficult.

Don't let Oscar the Grouch get you down. I think this is a good topic for discussion.

Dave at 8:44PM on Apr 30th 2008

4. Topic thats funny but I'm willing to give it a go if your topic is proven liars and hacks journalist with their fake web sites of which sports star or music star and the 180 dollor jeans they are pushing on your kids computers running microsoft da hook up!! Crooks and phoneys

Roger Waugh at 11:12PM on Apr 30th 2008

5. What did Roger (comment 4) say? Does anyone understand a word of that? He should write in his native language, then get a translator who understands English.

Next: I get more vacation than George Bush, and, unlike the President, I'm not on call 24/7 throughout my vacation, surrounded by the press and breaking crises nationwide and worldwide, and taking criticism from hacks who couldn't keep up with him (or, before him, Clinton, Bush, Sr., Reagan, Carter, etc.), mentally or physically, on a slow vacation day, much less the rest of the year! Stick to sports, Ben, politics ain't for you!

Former sailor at 4:47AM on May 1st 2008

6. Cenk : You are just as good as a MSM columnist. Neither the MSM or you allow facts to interfere with a good story.

longwalker at 5:14AM on May 1st 2008

7. Cenk

3 rd strike your out Bye

robert okane at 5:33AM on May 1st 2008

8. Umpires almost have a good of a job as school teachers. Umpires have to travel all over, work strange hours, and work on all holidays during the season. It is a demanding job that requires a set of razor shorp eyes and quick mind.

Then the racket job of all-the School Teacher, the overpaid, underworked, and underachievers.

To be a school teacher, you go to college for 4 years. You take the dip shit easy courses then graduate into a high paying job. Teachers then work about 180 days a year, part time during the work day, all holidays off and a generous vaction. Teachers get a great pension along with paid health care, many have dental care paid for.

All that and for the past 30 years, the results of this overfunded system is dismal. The teachers are so dumb, that USA has to import teachers from abroard for teaching science and math in our schools. Learning to be a math or science teachers is much to diffuclt for American College Students.

Then somewhere on the bottom of the ladder is news people. They major in journalism-WOW. Then come the Political Science Majors who take demanding courses such as Ethics(Huh) and Political Behavior.

Well, in reality, Umpires do have a demanding job when compared to other, such as school teachers, journalist and Politicians, whose success is measure by failures, not successes

robert okane at 5:35AM on May 1st 2008

9. It's refreshing, Cenk, that you found another subject other than Senator Obama.

Frank Thomas is alive, well and playing the game that he loves. Go get 'em Frank and show them how its done when you are approaching 40.

Sharon at 5:51AM on May 1st 2008

10. Wendy's actually stole most of their ideas from a smaller, older hamburger chain called Wilsons. If you're ever in Findlay, Ohio, there's ONE left. Wilsons was around in the 1920s, so they definitely came first. Dave isn't much more than a good entrepeneur and has, like many others, profited from idea theft. Not saying Wendy's is bad, but Dave Thomas isn't the God of Burgertown.

Strados at 7:32AM on May 1st 2008

11. i want to know what butcher said to the ump to get tossed so quick. then i will consider the situation and do something stupid, or at least nothing.

bud selig at 7:37AM on May 1st 2008

12. Who won the damn game?

Bill at 9:32AM on May 1st 2008

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Mo Rocca appears on a bunch of shows, including CBS News Sunday Morning (with the indescribably wonderful Charles Osgood), The Tonight Show on NBC, and NPR's Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! He's a sometime judge on Iron Chef and was featured on Telemundo's Amore Descarado. Last year he starred on Broadway in the 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. His expose "All the President's Pets" was published by Crown in 2004.