William Saletan has an odd, fuddy-duddyish article on Slate today about how oral sex has become normalized. He seems rather horrified by this news, and couches the article as a wake-up call to parents who may be unaware that their teenage children know about such outlandish things. He repeatedly refers to oral sex as "advanced" and to intercourse as "basic." Here's an excerpt:
The raw numbers indicate that 50 percent of teenagers aged 15 to 19 have had vaginal sex. Fifty-five percent have had heterosexual oral sex. Are kids substituting oral for vaginal? Nope. Among technical virgins-teens who have never had vaginal sex-23 percent have had oral sex. That number sounds high until you notice that among non-virgins, the oral-sex figure is 87 percent. If your teenager has had "basic" sex without somebody's mouth being involved, congratulations. You're probably the only such household on your block.
The implication: nobody's mouth should be involved. But Saletan never really says why. What is so bad about people having a wider sexual repertoire, especially when "basic" sex is not always conducive to female orgasm? What's so bad about teenagers engaging in sexual activity that has a lower (though not completely remote) risk of STD transmission and zero chance of unwanted pregnancy? Why are congratulations in order for those who stick to the "basics"?
Better advice to parents of teenagers would be to send their teenage children to Scarleteen, a site that offers smart, realistic sex education -- and to take a look at the site themselves if they're really as in the dark about sexuality as Saletan suggests.
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Slate Proclaims Normalization of Oral Sex
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Reader Comments ( Page 1 of 2)
1. Oh, wow, click on the link and read Saletan's article. He not only chides the teens for having oral sex, but goes after the adults as well! And it's all Bill Clinton's fault, of course, because prior to him, no one had the slightest idea about oral sex. I guess in Saletan's world, intercourse is best for all and not that horrendous oral sex.
The one sensible thing he says: since everone is having rampant oral sex, sodomy laws are ridiculous. Well, amen to that!
David S. at 7:33PM on May 28th 2008
2. Rather oral sex than the anal. Many kids indulge in anal sex to preserve virginity and/or not get pregnant. The fact of the matter is people will not accept that teens are sexual people. Teens have hormone power. Yet society perserveres in holding teens to abstinence. Surely this makes no sense at all. If condoms were part of aggressive campaigns to stem teen pregnancies-America has the highest rate in the world!-the kids and parents and society would all be better off.
boredwell at 7:35PM on May 28th 2008
3. "What's so bad about teenagers engaging in sexual activity that has a lower (though not completely remote) risk of STD transmission and zero chance of unwanted pregnancy?"
Are you kidding me? Have you ever seen an STD in a child's mouth - well it ain't pretty.
The simple fact is, children as young as 12 are having oral sex fequently, because they can remain virgins. But no one tells them that they can catch an STD, they don't practice "Safe" sex because the schools are only allowed to teach abstinence - thank your christian-fed government for that.
Oral sex isn't any worse or any better than "basic" sex - true you can't get pregnant, but to a twelve year old, they shouldn't be engaging in sexual activities anyway - we need a broader scope of sex ed to be taught in the middle schools and in the high schools. Education is power - the power over your choices, your decisions and your actions. Without sexual knowledge we get teen pregnancy, STDs transmitted orally and anally among other ways - not to mention the social ramifications of being sexually active in your pre-teens. How about that for setting yourself up as a slut at that ripe age of 13, and with the Internet becoming the barometor of the teen social scene - there are stigmas that will follow a child into adulthood.
TJ at 7:43PM on May 28th 2008
4.
Ada and you other morons are the exact reason this country has lost so much.. Our ancestors tought morals and strength: right from Wrong: Respect vs. disgrace...
You people make me sick...
Just keep destroying all our values and beliefs and this country will continue to spiral out of control and into a pathetic place to be.
jim at 7:57PM on May 28th 2008
5. Your right. This nation invented oral sex in the 90's.
Fred at 8:12PM on May 28th 2008
6. Jim, who are you to judge other people's
sense of what is moral/immoral?
This country's problems have nothing
to do with sex.
Who are you referring to when stating
"Our values and beliefs"?
We have all been fed this nonsense by the
people who are really destroying America.
Fact is,Americans have many and varied
belief systems.
Get used to that fact,or spend the rest of
your narrow minded life puking your guts out.
BOB JOHNSON at 8:16PM on May 28th 2008
7. Kids need to know about sex....period. A dog can engage in sex, so ignorance won't stop it. Oral sex is great for girls...they learn about orgasms, and won't settle for some half-rate non-satisfying sexual partner in the future if they know that their pleasure is important, too. My sister was never taught about sex form our God-fearing, morally upstanding (and highly educated) parents...didn't stop her from having 4 kids by the age of 25...starting at age 16. Taught correctly, sex is empowereing for girls and women. We need to be taught pride and self-respect, not shame and false abstinance. It is soooo dangerous to pretend these kids won't do it. Hiding it just ensures they will learn a lot of dumb stuff from their friends, contract an STD, or get pregnant. They willexperiment with sex, and you'd better prepare them and support them, and stop all this Puritanical rubbish. Everyone needs to GROW UP!
Aliveandliving at 8:45PM on May 28th 2008
8. Unfortunately in my day most of us had two choices. Dry hump or blue balls. The good old days, it wasn't.
Sigmund at 8:49PM on May 28th 2008
9. safe sex should be practiced be it oral, vaginal, anal, manual, or other forms.( i can think of a few.) theres is no magic wand (no pun intended) or button(abain no pun intended) to prevent sexual feelings, experimentation, or gratification. it should be recognized, by now, that this generation didnt invent sex. "just say no" hasnt worked. lets get real some do some dont. and who is the authority on "normal".
larry at 10:02PM on May 28th 2008
10. ADA CALHOUN COULD START HER OWN POLYGAMIST SECT LIKE
MR. JEFFS , SINCE SHE DOES'T CARE HOW YOUNG THESE
KIDS ARE BECOMING SEXUALLY ACTIVE ! AND SHE DOES NOT
CARE ABOUT HOW THE WORLD IS HATING US AND DISRESPECTING US MORE AND MORE AS SHE SAYS BRING IT ON ANOTHER "OSAMA TAPE " !
aone at 10:40PM on May 28th 2008
11.
My 14 yearold son had a date Saturday. My Fateher was visiting us from out of town.
Grandpa told my son..." Remember, son, the only sure way to prevent pregnancy is ANAL sex."
Gotta love ole Dad.
mac at 11:28PM on May 28th 2008
12. I actually read the Saletan story and couldn't have interpreted it any differently from the way you did, Ada. Saletan's point (you listen too, Boredwell and T.J.) is that kids aren't having oral sex to preserve their virginity, contrary to the prevailing urban legend. If kids are having oral sex, they're usually having vaginal sex too, and Saletan, unlike the posters here who continue to spout the fallacy about "doing the Monica," cites studies to back this up.
All the fuddy-duddy stuff Ada is talking about in Saletan's column is satire. Geddit?
ESP0704 at 12:08AM on May 29th 2008
13. I noticed on my last trip to the grocery store that "flavored condoms" were out on the shelves, right next to the personal lubricants.
Captain Negative at 1:00AM on May 29th 2008
14. 14 yrs old is to young to be having any kind of sex.....period. Boys should be studying harder and girls should be the ones to the most part to uphold the morals. Its just the way its aways been. Some boys will screw anything just to get off. The girl down the road will probably regret it and end up having to raise a child on her own. The girls the one that ends up losing more with early responiblity and such and can alter her life at too young of age. So lets let the kids enjoy being young and enjoy childhood. Your only young once. Then the real world hits us all. Now when they reach 18, or 21, there free to live and do as they please.
Gary at 1:49AM on May 29th 2008
15. I've never required BJs but then, I'm packing well over 8 inches. I guess the guys with small dicks (5-7 inches) just can't achieve satisfaction from normal sex, so they need BJs.
Steve at 3:03AM on May 29th 2008