Babble's Sex & Gender Special Issue has been getting record traffic, and a lot of that is thanks to Brett Berk's eye-opening essay, The Gender Spectrum. Berk argues that gender is on a continuum, with most kids (even kids who do not live on the coasts!) falling somewhere in between Boy-ish and Girl-ish. (Take Berk's quiz to find out where your kid falls on the boyish-girlish spectrum.)
He writes:
I'm not some radical advocating the elimination of the categories of boy and girl, or campaigning for replacing all gendered pronouns with a senseless prefix like co-. And I'm not against kids being rough-and-tumble or prissy if that's who they are. I just want to help parents give their kids a little more wiggle room in terms of the options they're offered for being human. To probe and poke at the dichotomies we've created.
Sounds pretty reasonable to us.
Reader Comments ( Page 1 of 2)
1. I was always a boy, too bad i have the wrong equipment...
punxxi at 5:48PM on Aug 7th 2008
2. By these standards, even the test questions and categories are inadequate to describe my son.
When I took the quiz, I was unable to settle on a single choice for seven of the 10 questions - "Sometimes it's "A" and sometimes it's "B" or "C."
I ended up giving him a score of between 0 and 10, depending upon his mood or the situation.
ESP0704 at 5:54PM on Aug 7th 2008
3. Ada, this is old news in the psychological world. Sandra Bem described the gender spectrum in, I think, the sixties. Now you see how long it truly takes for psychological discoveries to reach the layman!
cole0527 at 7:11PM on Aug 7th 2008
4. The lines might be fuzzy on identity issues, but I think an unfortunate aspect is that people are sold on sex changes. Nature brings us into this world with a certain plumbing; and I think it's stupid to believe that man, or MD, can improve on what nature gives us! The last time a doctor played with my weenis, I lost a foreskin... Now I'm bitter, scarred for life, and European women won't date me!
Mike at 7:30PM on Aug 7th 2008
5. In my opinion, this is like child abuse, to intentionally turn boys and girls into gender confused morons.
I think that gender confusion comes from nurturing, not nature, (there is no biological evidence for a gene that causes boys to be sissies, (sisters), or girls to be butch, for example), it is learned behavior, or a bad reaction towards bad experiences in childhood. Gender confusion comes from growing up under liberal values which promote gender confusion.
Let's quit encouraging gender confusion, it is a sickness, something to be fixed, not celebrated. It is destroying the character of the nation.
Rev 3:16 at 10:00PM on Aug 7th 2008
6. There are males and females (who are both normal in any sensible definition of the term). Additionally, there are intersexes, homosexuals, transexuals, transvestites and fetishists of various persuations. All of the latter groups are abnormal by any sensible definition of the term. All human beings are obviously entitled to respect and equal treatment under the law. That is granted, but abnormal is still abnormal!!!
Bob at 10:27PM on Aug 7th 2008
7. I made a very reasonable comment. Why doesn't it go through onto the board?
Bob at 10:28PM on Aug 7th 2008
8. Sexual identity disorders are caused by environment, but they only occur in individuals who are genetically predisposed (by personality type, not by sexual identity. We are all born with the same sexual instincts, but we learn whether we are male or female, or something in-between, only after we are born.
Bob at 10:31PM on Aug 7th 2008
9. "We are all born with the same sexual instincts, but we learn whether we are male or female, or something in-between, only after we are born."
Um, not true. There is far more evidence that gender identity is born, not learned. Intersex people who are born with the sexual physical characteristics of both sexes will still identify as one gender, even if raised as the other. And transgender people who do get surgery were raised as the gender they were born as and most tried like hell to be that, but they never identified with it. I just saw a TV show about a case where a baby boy had his penis mutilated in a botched circumcision and was raised as female at the advice of doctors. It didn't work and he never felt female- they finally told him he was male as a teenager, and he actually ended up commuting suicide as an adult. And gender identity is not the same as sexual orientation, nor does being gay mean you don't identify with your gender and want the surgery.
Melissa at 12:27AM on Aug 8th 2008
10. Nature brings us into this world with a certain plumbing; and I think it's stupid to believe that man, or MD, can improve on what nature gives us!
xxx
I doubt that's the usual reason. Unfortunately nature brings a lot of indeterminate plumbing into the world and sometimes included instructions for equipment that wasn't enclosed.
However I'm pretty certain that poo still flows downhill and payday's still on Friday (the contents of the REAL plumber's manual :o)
I've been told that people just know some kind of mistake has been made. I'm glad I don't feel that way, but I'd be for cutting someone some slack if they did. It's their life and it would suck like wearing the wrong size shoes or collar forever.
Clif Kuplen at 12:39AM on Aug 8th 2008
11. 'Gender confusion.' There's a wonderful phrase, right up there with 'regime change.'
To be honest, I don't precisely know what my gender is. I am in love with and sexually involved with a woman, but I have more than once eyed a man like a chocolate sundae. But I'm also not interested in relationships with men. I have been told I am often too agressive to be a girl. So what am I?
The reality is that I am me, and the attempts to classify me into sexual and gender categories are a waste of time. It's an exercise to help us feel more comfortable with people who we treat as 'others'. Once we have a classification we can cut out a lot of the awkwardness and discomfort that comes with dealing with the unknown.
Somber at 2:13AM on Aug 8th 2008
12. This seems to be a self-esteem related finding. Create a continuum so that parents don't feel they've got an odd child. I guess if it makes it easier to stomach something that a kid may or may not grow out of, there's no real harm done. As long as it stays that way doesn't end up being forced down the throats of those who find traditional gender identity acceptable.
bob at 8:01AM on Aug 8th 2008
13. "Gender" means a person's sense of whether they are male or female or somewhere in between. People's styles of dress and mannerisms, which are broadly categorized as "butch or femme" are NOT about gender. It is very sexist to label people's personality characteristics as "gender" and to use the terms "masculine and feminine".
If people continue to use sexist language like this, what's next? Will we go back to applying sexist language to professions and say that a woman is acting "masculine" or "like a man" when she gets a high paying job? Or that a man in the helping professions has a "feminine" job "like a woman"?
Adele at 9:31AM on Aug 8th 2008
14. It IS either/or, period!
Ewbrauntex at 9:40AM on Aug 8th 2008
15. It IS either/or, period!
Ewbrauntex
Ah, but that is not the case for everyone. Just because it might be for you.
If you want to take the physical side of it only - there are people who are born with both sets of sex organs what are they - they are neither he or she until they decide. A lot has to do with hormone levels and such. Why is everyone so quick to paint the picture with only two colors? Black or white.
TJ at 10:29AM on Aug 8th 2008