When the world is falling apart, it's time for a little escapism. And so we bring you the trashiest, lowest-brow trifle we could come up with: a list of the very worst celebrity baby names.1. Tu Morrow (Rob Morrow)
You just know that this name came up during a drunken pre-conception conversation. The tragedy is, they never thought of a better one. We just hope the kid likes that song from Annie, because people will be serenading her with it forever.
2. Zuma Nesta Rock (Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale)
Sure, "Zuma" is the name of a beach in a Malibu. That's lovely. But it's also a computer game. And the diminutive form of a term for a bad gastrointestinal condition. And, for anyone who remembers the '90s, a much-mocked malt beverage. No, wait: that was Zima.
3. Moxie CrimeFighter (Penn Jillette)
Job descriptions just don't work as proper names. And what are odds that she'll actually grow up to be a crimefighter? Slim.
4. Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee)
Speaking of job descriptions - Pilot Inspektor isn't even a real job. Neither is Pilot Inspector, for that matter. Plane Inspector is a real job, but that's like two steps above DMV worker in the glamour department.
Reader Comments ( Page 1 of 1)
1. Let's not forget Frank Zappa's children.
Or Cher
Or Demi Moore
Or any number of silly celebrities...all with whacky kid names.
mac at 2:41PM on Sep 23rd 2008
2. I think I like MJ's "Blanket" best.
The rest of them seem like belabored attempts at being outre'.
"Blanket" is the work of a true nutjob.
bob at 2:48PM on Sep 23rd 2008
3. Damn! Some people use the same process for naming their children that Hoobastank used for their band!
Steve Vai has a child named Fire. It's a pretty cool name --unless you're calling out to him from across a crowded mall.
The Dweezil thing worked out fine. It's impossible to grow up without a sense of humor with that moniker.
I like the name Apple, but it opens the door to a lot of creative innuendo after adolescence.
Jermajesty? Reignbeau? Inspektor? CrimeFighter? Kal-El? Diezel? Alcamy? Wow, you're so clever. Not.
Mokele Mbembe at 12:24PM on Sep 24th 2008
4. I sent something earlier today and didn't get a email reploy back am I noy doing it right????
Darla at 7:42PM on Sep 25th 2008