The fact is that CNN, in the interest of diversity, has an unprecedented number of black faces on the air. This is good. But too many of these anchors and pundits are Boring. Have they been coached to tone down their personalities, in order to seem newsy? Perhaps. But they do so at their own risk:
My sources tell me that over 20 contracts are up the day after Barack Obama's inauguration. (Expect unemployment figures to soar when the Election Center's army of pundits is decommissioned.) So jobs really are at stake.
With that in mind, this post is meant not as an attack -- but as constructive advice to those less than scintillating personalities on how they can stay on payroll during these trying economic times.
First, those African-Americans at CNN who have it going on. They don't need any advice:
DONNA BRAZILE
She puts the Cajun in CNN. Raised in Louisiana, this saucy Earth Mother became involved in local politics at the age of nine and has been "Cooking with Grease" (the title of her memoir) ever since. She can be funny. She can be ferocious. And of course she occupies a permanent seat in the Election Center's front row, thank you very much.
SUZANNE MALVEAUX
CNN's stunning and icy cold White House Correspondent hearkens back to Hollywood's greatest Noir Bad Girls. A black Bacall. A sexier Stanwyck. Rhonda Fleming with a reporter's notebook. But as great looking as she is, her sex appeal comes from her smarts. A warning to any male interviewee who thinks he can play Malveaux: she will play you. Every time. (The title of her inevitable biopic? Basic Cable Instinct.)
T.J. HOLMES
The studly Razorback with the shaved head used to report from the street. Now he's brought street to the anchor desk: "I'm gonna throw it over to my man Ed Henry at the White House. Ed, buddy, what's up? ... (and after the report) ... Aight, we'll check back with you later on." Unorthodox? Yes. And thank goodness.
ROLAND MARTIN
CNN's most operatic pundit is never afraid to chew the scenery. But his aria on the night of Barack Obama's victory was pitch perfect. Like any great diva, he is either loved or hated -- but never ignored!
(SOLEDAD O'BRIEN is not included in the list above since she is half-Cuban. She will be included in my upcoming list of "CNN's Best and Brightest Blatinas.")
OKAY, now for those anchors and personalities who need help:
DON LEMON
He's an Emmy and Edward R. Murrow award winning journalist, the latter for his coverage of the D.C. Sniper. (As someone with family in the area, I thank him!) But as a daytime co-anchor alongside peppy gal-pal Kyra Phillips (the network's Gidget), he seems overly restrained. Come on, Don, let that personality shine. Let's turn a Lemon into Lemonade!
FREDERICKA WHITFIELD
I remember the Fredericka Whitfield of NBC. A hard news version of Jayne Kennedy, she reported fearlessly from the field - throwing to anchor Tom Brokaw ... and leaving him breathless. Now she's CNN's Saturday morning anchor/babysitter -- and as bored as a Real Housewife of Atlanta. Phylicia Rashad without the fire. And her wardrobe? As edgy as Murphy Brown's. My advice: get out of the weekend morning ghetto, girl -- and back on the street. Bring back "Fred"!
AMY HOLMES
With her corkscrew curls and megawatt smile, this conservative commentator should be riding the goodship lollipop to her own show. But perhaps in a bid to seem like the "nice" conservative, she all too often comes off as bland. (It doesn't help that she worked for Bill Frist, the blandest Majority Leader ever.) Amy is smart - and her background is fascinating. For heaven's sake, she was born in Zambia, though you'd never know it from her performance. C'mon, Amy, give us some zip, some zing. Show us some Zambia!
TONY HARRIS
Harris began his career as a radio disc jockey -- and you hear that in every story he reads. He's the only anchor who can report on a genocide and make it sound like a Barenaked Ladies concert ticket giveaway. He's likable and goodness knows he's got energy. So no, he's not boring. He just needs to lower his voice once in a while.
Reader Comments ( Page 2 of 14)
16. Mo Rocca is Mo stupid
hs at 8:20PM on Dec 1st 2008
17. I am offended with this article. I believe that the best person for these jobs is the BEST person, regardless of the color of their skin. Their qualifications should NOT include what race they are.
I am sick of affirmative action. If a person wants a job they should hone their skills and qualifiy for it alongside everyone else applying for said job.
ruth at 8:28PM on Dec 1st 2008
18. Mo, Everyone has a right to their opinions and in my opinion, you should find real job and leave commentary to people more interesting. Need a toilet brush to start your new career?
John Malin at 8:26PM on Dec 1st 2008
19. I always have said that racism is started by the media. thank you for proving me right you sick idiots.
MaryLou Michelin at 8:31PM on Dec 1st 2008
20. Maybe next you'll do a list of white people CNN should get rid of. I'm sorry, but I find this really offensive to group all the African-Americans on the network.
What's next, your views on ESPN African-American sportscasters
bobby at 8:39PM on Dec 1st 2008
21. CNN is on my, not to watch list and has been for sometime. They are the most bias of all News station. They report what they want, not the truth.
You never hear them report something good, always praise the bad, knock down the good.Well I have knocked them off my list. CNN sucks, they need to replace about 95% of the one reporting.
I have found a news Station that reports the news
(good and bad)with honesty.
GOOD BYE CNN
made in the USA at 8:38PM on Dec 1st 2008
22. I definitely second the opinion when it comes to bringing Lynn Russell back into the anchor game,,
sharp and interesting,,as well as lovely .
Thanks.
mike gushee at 8:53PM on Dec 1st 2008
23. By the way, I've seen you on "Countdown" and given how unfunny you were, I'd be the last person critiquing anybody on TV
bobby at 8:45PM on Dec 1st 2008
24. BRING BACK LYNN RUSSELL
mike gushee at 8:53PM on Dec 1st 2008
25. Well now go and look at FOX where Bill is at and a few other but no Black.
sinbad396 at 8:45PM on Dec 1st 2008
26. Why not more white people or brown people or yellow people? Black isn't special or deserves more.
Arlene at 8:45PM on Dec 1st 2008
27. DID SOMEONE ELSE SUGGEST LYNN RUSSELL OR IS IT
JUST MY WISHFUL THINKING?
mike gushee at 8:52PM on Dec 1st 2008
28. I don't care what color a person is as long as they report the news and quit candy coating the story.
ROB at 8:50PM on Dec 1st 2008
29. Mo, Mo, Mo...what has happened to you? First of all, you are FAR too kind to Tony Harris, or "Pumpkinhead" as we call him in our household. Tony "Pumpkinhead" Harris has got to be the most witless person on the planet! I'm surprised he can find his way out of his bedroom in the morning, much less read off of a teleprompter! Lowering his voice would do the trick--as long as he lowered it to an inaudible level and then ducked under the desk so we didn't have to look at his pumpkin head anymore! I've written several times to CNN to let them know what a knucklehead he is. The first time I wrote, I asked them how they had the nerve to put HIM next to Heidi Collins. Heidi is a REAL journalist. This guy is an escapee from WKRP in Cincinnati! The next thing I know, Heidi was moved to an earlier spot. I'd like to think I had something to do with that decision! Now Tony "PH" Harris and his new female co-anchor actually give each other "fist bumps" during stories!!! Come on, people! We're not in junior high! You're on the national news! SOMETHING must be inappropriate and I'd start the list with "Fist Bumps!"?
As for Donna Brazile, Mo, give me a break. She was Al Gore's campaign manager. What a great job she did! Made sure every little hiccup was handled just right. Made sure he had his blue jeans pressed with a sharp crease so he looked cool--oh! NO! Made sure he DIDN'T have his blue jeans pressed so he DID look cool. And how many other "style choices" did he go through over the course of the campaign? He changed his "look" more often than Sarah Palin changed her clothes! Al Gore is a genius and any voter who cares WHAT he wears should go buy Stephen Hawking a new tie! And, of course, we all know how expertly Brazile ensured that the election fraud was properly disputed and litigated so that the TRUE winner of the 2000 election, Al Gore, was able to administer the country for two terms which were characterized by peace, prosperity and respect for this country throughout the world....Why on earth would ANYONE be interested in ANYTHING that Donna Brazile has to say?
Amy Holmes? The woman who has NO idea what the African-American experience is like? Speaking as an African-American? I want to rip her throat out when she spouts the Republican party line! She doesn't have a clue what she's talking about! Now that I know she's from Zambia, it's at least logical that she is entirely unaware of what it's like to be black in this country.
TJ Holmes should be given the respect he deserves and CNN should be forced to tell us what "TJ" stands for. The guy could outstrategize "Pumpkinhead" in a thumb-wrestling competition! Why won't they tell us his name? I think they are scared of him. TJ is smart, professional, all good stuff.
Suzanne Malveaux is a class act and a news force to be reckoned with--although I didn't think of her as African-American. But then, I didn't really think of Barack Obama as African-American until they said it on the news...
Madeleine McBride at 8:52PM on Dec 1st 2008
30. Mo,
As always, you are hilarious... I can hear your voice taking us up and down CNN's "black" super highway.
This is a blog folks! It's meant to be funny with not so solid premises!
I find Mo's insights to be completely hilarious. Look the expectation of a little "flavor" from the people of color can be offensive, but from MO?!?!? C'Mon... it's comic genious! The expectation being an integral part of the comedy! Bravo!
I rarely sit and laugh at the computer, but...I was guffawing at TJ's inappropriate picture and Rocca's TJ quote...HILARIOUS!
Next let's cover the requirement of the "Women of FOX" (which sounds like a terrible skanky reality show) to have bleached blond hair and the ability to read a teleprompter.
Nadine at 8:58PM on Dec 1st 2008