The fact is that CNN, in the interest of diversity, has an unprecedented number of black faces on the air. This is good. But too many of these anchors and pundits are Boring. Have they been coached to tone down their personalities, in order to seem newsy? Perhaps. But they do so at their own risk:
My sources tell me that over 20 contracts are up the day after Barack Obama's inauguration. (Expect unemployment figures to soar when the Election Center's army of pundits is decommissioned.) So jobs really are at stake.
With that in mind, this post is meant not as an attack -- but as constructive advice to those less than scintillating personalities on how they can stay on payroll during these trying economic times.
First, those African-Americans at CNN who have it going on. They don't need any advice:
DONNA BRAZILE
She puts the Cajun in CNN. Raised in Louisiana, this saucy Earth Mother became involved in local politics at the age of nine and has been "Cooking with Grease" (the title of her memoir) ever since. She can be funny. She can be ferocious. And of course she occupies a permanent seat in the Election Center's front row, thank you very much.
SUZANNE MALVEAUX
CNN's stunning and icy cold White House Correspondent hearkens back to Hollywood's greatest Noir Bad Girls. A black Bacall. A sexier Stanwyck. Rhonda Fleming with a reporter's notebook. But as great looking as she is, her sex appeal comes from her smarts. A warning to any male interviewee who thinks he can play Malveaux: she will play you. Every time. (The title of her inevitable biopic? Basic Cable Instinct.)
T.J. HOLMES
The studly Razorback with the shaved head used to report from the street. Now he's brought street to the anchor desk: "I'm gonna throw it over to my man Ed Henry at the White House. Ed, buddy, what's up? ... (and after the report) ... Aight, we'll check back with you later on." Unorthodox? Yes. And thank goodness.
ROLAND MARTIN
CNN's most operatic pundit is never afraid to chew the scenery. But his aria on the night of Barack Obama's victory was pitch perfect. Like any great diva, he is either loved or hated -- but never ignored!
(SOLEDAD O'BRIEN is not included in the list above since she is half-Cuban. She will be included in my upcoming list of "CNN's Best and Brightest Blatinas.")
OKAY, now for those anchors and personalities who need help:
DON LEMON
He's an Emmy and Edward R. Murrow award winning journalist, the latter for his coverage of the D.C. Sniper. (As someone with family in the area, I thank him!) But as a daytime co-anchor alongside peppy gal-pal Kyra Phillips (the network's Gidget), he seems overly restrained. Come on, Don, let that personality shine. Let's turn a Lemon into Lemonade!
FREDERICKA WHITFIELD
I remember the Fredericka Whitfield of NBC. A hard news version of Jayne Kennedy, she reported fearlessly from the field - throwing to anchor Tom Brokaw ... and leaving him breathless. Now she's CNN's Saturday morning anchor/babysitter -- and as bored as a Real Housewife of Atlanta. Phylicia Rashad without the fire. And her wardrobe? As edgy as Murphy Brown's. My advice: get out of the weekend morning ghetto, girl -- and back on the street. Bring back "Fred"!
AMY HOLMES
With her corkscrew curls and megawatt smile, this conservative commentator should be riding the goodship lollipop to her own show. But perhaps in a bid to seem like the "nice" conservative, she all too often comes off as bland. (It doesn't help that she worked for Bill Frist, the blandest Majority Leader ever.) Amy is smart - and her background is fascinating. For heaven's sake, she was born in Zambia, though you'd never know it from her performance. C'mon, Amy, give us some zip, some zing. Show us some Zambia!
TONY HARRIS
Harris began his career as a radio disc jockey -- and you hear that in every story he reads. He's the only anchor who can report on a genocide and make it sound like a Barenaked Ladies concert ticket giveaway. He's likable and goodness knows he's got energy. So no, he's not boring. He just needs to lower his voice once in a while.
Reader Comments ( Page 3 of 14)
31. Is it ok to say "Black"? Hell,these days I am one confused person.Is Chris Dodd and Barney Frankes going to jail? I read where they were responsible for the Freddy & Fannie scam.
Chaz at 8:55PM on Dec 1st 2008
32. I think I'm gonna gag. How....much....more....political correctness is needed? Hey, Ive got an idea, how bout a few conservatives on CNN? Nawww, that'd be just downright despicable!
lolabull at 8:55PM on Dec 1st 2008
33. I'd like to nominate Jack Cafferty to be fired in order to make room for more black reporters. After all, he was so pro-Obama, I'm sure he'd be happy move aside for a black person...plus, the added bonus that he would no longer be in the proposed highly-taxed $250,000+ any more would be a real incentive.
Susan at 8:56PM on Dec 1st 2008
34. i find it interesting that you spelled black with a small b, when referring to a people - and spelled Boring with a capital B.
it's Black, if you feel so inclined to use it to discribe African Americans.
thank you very much, mr. too blunt, too bad.
justmythoughts at 3:03PM on Dec 3rd 2008
35. We are all Americans,well,except for the liberals,because they are Godless. Come on ,you know who you are so don't get your lib panties in a twist.heh,heh
Chaz at 8:58PM on Dec 1st 2008
36. Is anyone surprised that the Communist Network News is dumping white anchors? Not that I would ever turn on CNN, but those white people better be addressing the court system on racial discrimination. There should be loads of dollars to collect.
Diane at 8:58PM on Dec 1st 2008
37. These partisan hacks make Shaun Hannity look like Walter Cronkite. Only liberal mental gymnists think that lefty media water carriers have gravitas anyway.
Just keep that straw in the koolaid fellow travelers.
JOHN at 9:01PM on Dec 1st 2008
38. I used to like Lou Dobbs. More conservative than me but often some good points like on illegals. He finally softened his daily jabs at Clinton about 6 years after he had gotten the economy going! But he has been nearly as bad as the neo-Nazi Fox people the last 1-2 years. So full of himself, like Fox nuts, that he practically yells and does not give others time to talk.
R. Ross at 12:08PM on Dec 16th 2008
39. To be black is a cultural awareness of inner identification. Blacks are not monolithic in speech, thought or appearance. No black person should be compelled to act or look a certain way, to identify with their culture. Their is diversity in the black culture, and I think that is reflective in the CNN Staff.
Kirth N Roach at 10:30PM on Dec 5th 2008
40. Amy Holmes is a predictable conservative, nearly as right wing and nuts as Phony Palin. You'd have to live in a closet to think the Republicans have done well on the economy, war, or practically anything else!
R. Ross at 12:07PM on Dec 16th 2008
41. Don Lemon is a messy piece of shit! He too often flubs his lines, mis speaks and cuts people off, to say the least. How the heck did he ever win an award as he is the most awful anchor at CNN!! Period...
Please replace him with TJ Holmes, a much better speaker and much better to look at as well. Don blunders his lines way too much, and is as overrated as Anderson Cooper Vanderbilt, the one who bought his place at CNN.
lane at 9:09PM on Dec 1st 2008
42. WHY IS IT GOOD THAT THEY ARE BLACK. SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE A LITTLE ASS KISS PC LIB.
snake at 9:09PM on Dec 1st 2008
43. Do people still watch CNN?
al80504 at 10:39PM on Dec 1st 2008
44. I thought Don Lemon was white...Just kidding
miselen1 at 9:10PM on Dec 1st 2008
45. After the abomination called the "news" showed itself for the trollop that it really is this family has stopped watching all television news. The citizens of this country better wake up. Instead of worrying about one more politically correct piece of garbage argument you should be worrying about the fact that all news has been bought, sold and now owned by those who "chose the news". Keep on being shepherded like a bunch of ignorant sheep! You think things have been bad and are bad? You haven't seen a thing yet. Remember one basic principle if all you really care about is helping the have not's when it concerns the haves. "The people running things look out for their own kind with no regard to the fools they convince in buying their line!!!" When in the history of the world have the rich ever put the poor in a better position? Do you folks not wonder why public school systems are arguing about crap that doesn't matter and not concentrating on educating a nation? While the nation is being goaded into fighting the illegitimate fights they are allowing themselves to be lead down the primrose path. Shame on all of you brainwashed masses. "The emperor wears no clothes!!!!!" Oh, I forgot, the only thing today's good people know are the current Britney saga or the latest rap lyrics.
Jacquelyn at 9:12PM on Dec 1st 2008