The most gripping performance at last night's star-studded Kennedy Center Honors was turned in by someone who never audibly uttered a word. (And no, I'm not talking about President Bush who was his typical checked-out, slumped-over self during the show.)

I'm talking, of course, about honoree Barbra Streisand, high priestess of the American Song, who throughout the evening rendered invaluable and infallible verdicts on the gala's performances. To watch her reactions was to witness Trial by Streisand. (On this Supreme Court, there is only one Justice.)

We must remember that Streisand is not, as her pedestrian intro defined her (an intro read off of note cards by Queen Latifah) simply a singer/actress/director. She is more than a skills set, more than a "multi-talented performer." Yes, she has a miraculous singing instrument. But at her core she is a master interpreter: She connects completely with her material, which is why you can't stop watching her when she sings softly or when she belts.

She is, in other words, everything that American Idol is not. And last night she stood in stoic defiance: the one true singer never to be confused with the false idol of American Idol!

Let's get down to brass tacks: During the tribute to her, she was unimpressed. It started off with Idina Menzel, Tony-winner for Wicked. Let me be clear: Idina Menzel is a tremendous singer and a terrific actress, but she tried to out-belt Barbra which is:

a. impossible
b. misses the point



Barbra's verdict: No clemency.

Then came Beyonce (who I suspect was lip-synching). Everyone loves Beyonce and she's already proven that she's capable of achieving greatness. (Someone should open a store called Bed, Bath and Beyonce, to sell Beyonce-related merchandise.) But her performance of "The Way We Were" petered out. By its ended she sounded ... disconnected. She simply hasn't lived enough to sing about "the way she was" convincingly.



Beyonce does have an impeccable sense of decorum. Her dramatic thank-you at the end sent chills down my spine.

Beyonce (curtseying): It's an honor to sing for you, Miss Streisand. Thank you.

Barbra simply nodded -- then granted Beyonce her freedom!

After that came Ne-Yo covering one of Streisand's undersung gems, "Lover Come Back to Me":



My only complaint: why the hell wasn't I one of the back-up dancers?

The best performance of the night, no contest: Bettye LaVette's master class in singing -- her unforgettable rendition of "Reign O'er Me," in tribute to honorees Pete Townshend and Roger Daltry (begins at 2:55):



Barbra rendered her only spoken verdict: "Fantastic."

As for the rest of the show ... George Jones is, of course, a great great artist. Bush chose to sit next to him, I suspect for political reasons. I doubt that Bush has any special appreciation or insight into Jones' art. Having the tired Laura Bush give the intro (totally inappropriate, given the shout-out to her husband at what is supposed to be a non-political event) was meant to signal that the Bushes are real Americans. Message: Hollywood may hate them, but that's because they're country folk!

Plans to have Laura Bush sing "Stand By Your Man" to the President were apparently scrapped.

Fun fact: I own a Martin Guitar, an autographed gift from George Jones himself. I was a fan of his breakfast sausage ("All pork and no possum!") and plugged it on The Today Show.



He also sent me a crate of frozen sausage in thanks.

So how does a master deliver a song? Here you go (no lip synch and only two cuts!):



Happy New Year!