Who can forget this awesome moment from Raw?

Well, it appears Eddie did. Mel B, formerly Scary Spice, is pulling out the big guns in her fight with Eddie Murphy over the paternity of her new born daughter. Looks like she's in the works to do a tell all interview about her relationship and sex life with the actor/comedian.

Mel also allegedly intends to demand the 'Dreamgirls' star - who denies he is the father of her two-week-old daughter, Angel Iris Murphy - pay her $6,000 a month in child support, as well as a lump sum for her to buy a Los Angeles home.

The trouble began when Eddie dumped the five month pregnant Spice Girl during an interview and demanded a paternity test because he claimed he was not the father. Four months later Eddie is refusing the test and will be dragged to court to resolve the dispute of the paternity of Angel Iris Murphy.

Eddie remember...keep em' locked up and naked!

Here's a clip from The Absolute Truth where Cenk and I react to these shocking photos of yet ANOTHER disgraced ex-reality star.

Why can I not take my eyes off Lindsay Lohan?! Every step, breath, cooter flash, accident, water bottle is an effort to grab my attention and damn it its working. I curse her for being such a glorious train wreck to watch.

Recent interviews Lindsay has done with Nylon Magazine and Allure are so chock full of goodies I could post for a month but don't fret I won't torture you like that. Here are a few of the highlights:

On ending up in rehab:

Lohan, 20, tells Allure for its May issue that she had awakened at home last Jan. 17 to a house surrounded both on the ground and in the air by paparazzi.

Her therapist suggested Wonderland, up in Laurel Canyon, and once Lohan was told that paparazzi were kept out she drove there with a friend who had "more problems than I did," she recalls.

She then checked out the place and found "a quiet room, all white, with parquet, and it was different! I just felt safe," she says. "I thought, 'I'm going to stay here tonight.' And I stayed there. For a month. It was great..."

"That's my life!" She also compared herself to Marilyn Monroe and claimed to be shocked she ended up needing treatment: "It's so weird that I went to rehab. I always said I would die before I went to rehab."

On how all the press attention is ruining her chances of winning an Oscar:

"The thing about the press and why they need to leave me the [bleep] alone for a little bit is because I don't want that distraction from my work. I want to get a nomination. I want to win an Oscar. I want to be known for more than, like, going out. For being 'the party girl.' I hate that. I bust my [bleep] when I'm filming, and when I gave time off, yeah, I like to go out and dance."

At least she recognizes the problem and has decided to slow down...oh I'm so funny!

It's a shame, but I think little Knut's 15 minutes of fame have just about run out. The world contracted "Knut Fever" after seeing videos like this...he even landed himself a Vanity Fair cover.



Unfortunately Knut can't remain a cute, widdle, cuddly cub forever...pretty soon he's liable to rip your head off.

Knut's days of extreme cuteness are numbered now that he has acquired a markedly longer snout and weighs a chubby 17 kilograms (37 pounds), twice as much as when he first appeared before an adoring public five weeks ago. "His teeth are sharper and he's stronger, he still gets porridge but we now feed him beef on the bone occasionally," the zoo's bear expert Heiner Klös told SPIEGEL ONLINE. "He's calmed down a bit, he doesn't potter around as much as he used to and he's happy to sit on his own more often. But he still wanders back to his keeper to tank up on security."

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz...The good news is crowds (with a far longer attention span than I) are still flockling to get a glimpse of the polar bear superstar which thankfully helps the efforts to raise awareness on global warming and other environmental issues.

Farewell cute Knut...puberty's a bitch but you'll get through it, we all do; well most of us at least -- Michael Jackson's still workin' on it. HEEEEEEEE HEEEEE HEEEEEEEE!

The editor over at Out Magazine has made the bold and, in my opinion, unethical decision to include well known names such as Jodie Foster and Anderson Cooper on their "Power 50" list. Not only did they make the list, their likeness' grace the cover. The thing is, whether or not they're gay, they haven't come OUT.

It's a bit of chutzpah on our part," acknowledges Out editor in chief Aaron Hicklin. But he says it wasn't merely an attempt to stir up controversy. "The A-list and even B-list gays are mostly in the closet still, and those are the kinds of people we need to have on our cover. This is a way of addressing that."

Hicklin claims that since, in his opinion, Foster and Anderson do not go out of their way to hide their supposed gay lifestyles they were "fair game." Regarding some of the other rumored gay celebrities Hicklin says,

There are a lot of closeted gay men and women who aren't going to make that list because the risk of litigation [against Out] is too great.

This is low; its a move 'US Weekly' or 'Star Magazine would pull. 'Out' should be ashamed and I hope they face serious repercussions for invading the lives of two incredibly private people just to sell a few more issues of their crappy magazine.

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God, please forgive me. With that said, now I won't have to suffer eternal damnation in hell, which is absolutely totally real according to the Pope. With so much violence and persecution happening between warring religions it seems people have forgotten the true meaning of hell. Thankfully we have Pope Benedict XVI to clear things up for us. Just a few days ago he claimed hell "exists and is eternal, even if nobody talks about it much any more." (Has Satan ever thought of shaving his head??? Worked for Britney!) The Pope must have been kidding when he continually defined hell as a "state" of existence and should be thought of symbolically.

As a theologian, the pope wrote about hell on several occasions. In the 1968 book, Introduction to Christianity, he described hell as a state of existential abandonment, "the loneliness into which love can no longer reach."

Vatican officials said that the Pope - who is also the Bishop of Rome - had been speaking in "straightforward" language "like a parish priest." He had wanted to reinforce the new Catholic catechism, which holds that Hell is a "state of eternal separation from God," to be understood "symbolically rather than physically."

These religious guys have got to get their stories' straight! The good news is, whether or not hell is a really hot place or just an existential bummer it's easy to get out of...but only before you die. Jesus is quick to forgive; so just as long as you remember to repent you should be OK.




















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We all know that "1 Night In Paris" helped rocket Paris Hilton into the upper echelon of worthless celebrities, but I'm not sure Kim Kardashian will have the same fate. With the help of night vision on the camera and a limited number of graphic scenes, Paris' tape was a bit of a novelty. Kim's tape on the other hand is a full blown porn! Here's a link to video (you have to scroll down a bit)...but I have to warn you its 100% NSFW, very graphic, and probably won't be on this site much longer so you'll have to hunt for it if you're really dying to see it.

Poor Lindsay Lohan never had a chance...check out what a loon her mother is! It's just so sad. ***Quotes pulled from POPSUGAR.COM -- check out the site for photos of Dina in Harper's Bazaar

* On Paparazzi: "Look at me. Diana will happen again."

* On Lindsay Being an Alcoholic: "We're just so misunderstood," she said, adding that her cocktail-tippling daughter is not an alcoholic. "Noooo! She is just a 20-year-old who had to reel it in," she said, apparently forgetting that the legal drinking age is 21. "And she's from an addictive personality genetically. And in that world, they give you things like candy. Hurt your ankle? 'Let's give her something.' "

* On Lying About Being Lindsay's Mom: The elder Lohan said she sometimes introduces herself as her daughter's personal assistant. She even once lied about her identity to George Clooney. "I don't want them to know I'm her mom," she said. "It's a whole 'nother demographic. People just go dark."

* On The Starlet Elite: "Some of these kids are just lost," she said. "They're the American dream," she also said. "They're the Trumps of the little world, these kids."

* On Going Out: "If you can button it and clip it when you're in your 40s, you're going out," she said as she put her hand in the air to solicit a high-five from the Harper's reporter.

On a lighter note GQ did an amazing spread of the non-alcoholic for their SEX ISSUE

It's only Wednesday but I'm already annoyed with the week's rundown of reality TV. I knew it was coming, but actually watching the "Heather Mills Circus" on Dancing With The Stars made me nauseous. Is ABC so desperate to make a splash in the ratings that they cast a woman who's missing a leg? Not to mention the world loathes Heather Mills! ABC knew full well everyone would tune in, including me (I've never watched the show before this season), to see if this witch's leg would go flying.

Then last night on American Idol, Sanjaya's performance was so bad it made a little girl cry! ; ) People are only tuning into AI this season out of habit. The performances are awful, Simon's shtick is old, and Ryan's closet contents are getting old.

Considering my constant bitching about religion, it only seems obvious that I would commend Rep. Stark for his honesty about his atheist beliefs. The fact is, I don't care. I shouldn't have to care! Rep. Stark and everyone else who has a hand in one of the various branches of our government is allowed to believe or not believe in anything they want. For example, there are a number of people in government who pray to a god that would like you to be killed for committing adultery.

Leviticus 20:10 (King James Version) And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

Thankfully, because of the doctrine of separation of church and state, our sex crazed society is spared execution for sexual indiscretions.

... no man shall be compelled to frequent or support any religious worship, place, or ministry whatsoever, nor shall be enforced, restrained, molested, or burthened in his body or goods, nor shall otherwise suffer on account of his religious opinions or belief; but that all men shall be free to profess, and by argument to maintain, their opinion in matters of religion, and that the same shall in no wise diminish enlarge, or affect their civil capacities.

I understand that a person's religious beliefs will color the way they view their life and society but those beliefs have no place in our government. Some of you might say, "thou shall not kill is a commandment and it's against the law to kill people." I get that, but if you need the church to inform you that killing is wrong you might be a psychopath.

By stupid I mean moronic, dumb, unintelligent, inane, a complete fool....I think you get my drift. I'm not an arbitrary Pope hater and I'm not criticizing because he wears funny hats and loathes gay people; the man simply does not understand the United States and he's trying to get all up in our business! Mr. Vatican City issued this statement today:

"Catholic politicians must oppose gay marriage: Pope says" The Church's opposition to gay marriage is "non-negotiable" and Catholic politicians have a moral duty to oppose it, as well as laws on abortion and euthanasia, Pope Benedict said in a document issued on Tuesday.

Beney needs a serious crash course in poli-sci. Like many religious leaders and believers, (which I'm disappointed to say includes politicians) he does not have a solid grasp on the First Amendment. I know its a tricky concept but let's go over it AGAIN:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Pope-ster, you know what this means? We're not allowed to make laws and weigh issues by religious merit. I really appreciate your interest in our country but our crazy quota has been met. Maybe when Senator Coburn or Senator Brownback or even Jerry Falwell finally go away you can step back in and work on threatening our Constitutional rights. In the meantime, go spread your hate somewhere else.

Candy Spelling has decided to welcome her daughter, Tori Spelling, back into the family -- Tori's crossed fingers bleed with hope that this means the return of a cash flow.


In anticipation of Tori's new reality show "Tori and Dean: Inn Love", err um I mean new baby, mother and daughter Spelling are hoping to forget the past and focus on what's really important, family.

According to Tori's brother (and Candy's son), Randy Spelling, 28..."They are going to be there for each other and [Tori's soon-to-arrive] baby. My mom is having a grandchild, and it puts things into perspective," Randy says.

Randy adds that despite what has happened in the past, "No matter what, we are family, and they're resolving things and getting back together. They are communicating, and it makes both of them happy. It's definitely a mutual thing."

I absolutely love the Spelling Saga. Aaron couldn't have produced better drama if he tried. Tori Spelling, a Beverly Hills princess who hasn't worked since her dad employed her, ditches her husband, runs off with a married unsuccessful actor, and stars in a goofy sitcom exploiting her family's dysfunction. To add the final and best twist, Dad dies, mom cuts her off, and the new money grubbing husband is left with a broke, very pregnant wife.

***PS -- Tori Spelling is currently in labor!

(Photo: WireImage.com)

This is where my love affair with Christina Applegate began....
She is so damn funny (Married with Children, The Sweetest Thing, Friends, Sweet Charity) but so under used! Fingers crossed that her new ABC pilot 'Sam I Am' will be a hit. Applegate's comedic timing and delivery are just too good to waste. Maybe she'll bring back the "Bundy Bounce!"

In case you don't want to be bothered reading the whole half page report of Richard Jeni's tragic death CNN "highlights" the key moment for you:

Richard Jeni's girlfriend said he shot himself in the face.

Yup, that is listed as one of the "highlights" of the story. I know CNN has "story highlights" in every report but summing up someones death in one bullet point leaves me feeling uneasy. Richard Jeni has crossed my mind probably all of twice in my life but this story, and the incredibly insensitive way its been reported, has hit an emotional nerve in me....maybe I'm PSM'ing. Hmmmmmmmm.

My thoughts go out to his family, friends, and fans.

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