Well, folks, it looks like it's time to say So Long, Farewell and auf Wiedersehen. (Readers of this blog know I prefer Harold Arlen over Rodgers and Hammerstein, hence the title of this post.)

For two years I've blogged for the good people at AOL and it has been nothing short of glorious: Who else would give me a forum to write about everything from presidential politics to American Idol ... to my personal travails with Ped Egg and my Polish cleaning lady? This has been a tremendous experience.

Through it all my producer Will Hines has been an extraordinary collaborator and friend. We've been able to dress up a young man as Cindy McCain, consult Tim Gunn on polygamist fashions, and ask random New Yorkers about their Spank Bank holdings. And we made major news when we uncovered the Michelle Obama "Whitey" tape.

Here are a few of our favorites...

In our critically-acclaimed "Pimp My Candidate" series, Will and I analyzed the weaknesses of various 2008 candidates -- and sought remedies for those handicaps. There was Fred Thompson and his tendency to seem dead (which brought us to an herbalist) and Barack Obama's mole (which led us to ask "Keep, Remove or Hide?"). Then there was Rudy's lisp:



In our award-winning "This or That?" series, we forced innocent passersby to choose between Christian Science or Scientology ... Fried Dumplings or Steamed Dumplings ... and Beau Bridges or Randy Quaid. Then we asked them to make the hardest choice of all:



Experts were always on hand, like when we examined the world's worst sibling rivalry:



But more often the expert was you, as when we explored the protocol of hooking up at a baby shower:



Before Will took over the 180 ship, producer Dave Larzalere brought his warped wit with, among others, this classic survey:



And at the start of this venture, my pal Gideon Evans produced this gem:



Thanks to master editors Dave Kovenetsky and Doug Morrione, our longtime PA/trumpeter Andrew Oom, studio cameraman Tim Meyers, party promoter Mike Whitmore, DJ Rafael Jiminez and boss man Mike Rubens. Thanks also to Andrew Zipern, James Luria, Coates Bateman and Stephen Pendlebury at AOL.

AND HUGE THANKS AND LOVE TO EVERYONE WHO VISITED!

The irrepressible and shape-shifting John Giza (180's Alec Guinness) ... the buoyant and no doubt beautiful Gifted Girl ... future university president Blayze O'Brien ... the Spain-loving Miguel Cane ... the way-more-clever-than-me Finn ... lovably gruff Mac ... Mac's sassy spitfire co-star Sherry ... the alluring SGS ... Pittsburgh's tigress-eyed Jacqueline ... Florence Nightingale (with the funny) Andrea ... sweet as pie Ah Clem ... whip smart Clif Kuplen (is that your real name?) ... Mo-NEEK-a with the mostest ... Brassy babe Gabrielle ... kind-hearted conflay ... awol Marsha Beckerman ... and yes you, JillJG. (Have I left anyone out? Sorry!)

Until we e-meet again (and we will) ...

Congratulations to six-time Super Bowl winner (and seven-time nominee!) Pittsburgh Steelers. I had the good fortune of attending Super Bowl XL, when the Steelers last won. Media day was a blast:



Then I reported on game day. It seems like only yesterday that I was hanging with Stevie Wonder, then-top draft pick Matt Leinart, and soon-to-be disgraced Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick:



But then as now, I wondered: Why don't the Steelers have cheerleaders? Apparently there was a squad of Steelerettes from 1961-1970. What happened to them?

Now that the Steelers are the winningest team in football, don't they deserve to be cheered in an organized fashion? I ask you, what would Steelers cheerleaders look like?

Howard Bragman, who's helped dozens of stars manage their publicity and career transitions, helped explain how O.J. might become a U. N. ambassador, and how Jim Belushi might win a Nobel Peace Prize.

And now a 180 extra: Howard's dos and don'ts for Oscar Acceptance Speeches!

Howard Bragman is a public relations expert and author of the bestseller Where's My Fifteen Minutes? He's worked with the leading lights of Hollywood, shaping - and in some cases, reshaping - images. But how radically can a celebrity reinvent him or herself?

Earlier we asked him to design a plan for O.J. Simpson to become a United National Goodwill Ambassador. Here, he lays out a blueprint for Jim Belushi to win the Nobel Peace Prize.

Spring Break is just around the corner. You'll meet a lot of new friends on this trip, and it sure would be nice to get lucky.

Your romantic fate could very well be decided on that first day at the pool or on the beach ... when you remove your t-shirt. It's not so much about what you reveal. It's how you reveal it. Make it count!!

Here's how:



For more information on t-shirt removal expert/actor/personal trainer Mike Long, here's his contact info.

What a whirlwind this last three days have been. When Pageant Consultant Justin Popovics came to our attention, we had no idea what we'd discovered. His beauty queen tips have rocked the web and inspired armies of future pageant contestants.

First he taught us all how to introduce ourselves at a pageant.

Then he showed us how to make eye contact with the judges count big.

Next he rallied us to Just Say No to Camel-toe!!

Yesterday he worked those heels like a pageant winner.

And finally, today, he's showing us all how to look less fat!

Watch, then let us know your thoughts on this very special 180 series. Would you like to see more Justin? What other 180 extension courses would you like to see?

The acclaim for 180 Pageant Consultant Justin Popovics and his beauty queen tips has overwhelmed us.

First he taught us all how to introduce ourselves at a pageant.

Then he showed us how to make eye contact with the judges count big.

Then he rallied us to Just Say No to Camel-toe!!

Believe it or not, he's outdone himself with today's tip on how to stand like a winner:

180 Pageant consultant Justin Popovics and his beauty contestant tips are burning up the web in anticipation of this Saturday's Miss America pageant on TLC.

First he taught us all how to introduce ourselves at a pageant.

Then he showed us how to make eye contact with the judges count big.

Today it gets serious, as he tackles one of the deepest, darkest pageant taboos. Watch and learn:

The reaction was so strong to our first pageant tip from pageant consultant Justin Popovics, we had to bring him back. Watch and learn!

With yesterday's Inauguration, the presidential election is completely past us. Now it's time to look to the next big election, only three days ahead of us. That's when tens of millions will watch the next Miss America chosen on TLC.

There are 52 contestants vying for the title. But millions of future contestants (plus millions who imagine themselves competing) will be watching from home.

That's why we've brought in pageant consultant (and personal trainer) Justin Popovics to advise our nation of would-be beauty queens. Over the next three days he'll be giving his insider tips ... tips for a better pageant performance ... and a better you.

First, how to give the perfect pageant intro. (Instructions after the video.) Now let the Quest begin!



So the structure of your pageant intro is fairly simple. In Mad Lib format:

"From [one part of your state] to [another part of your state], I'm proud to represent the [any nickname or euphemism for your state]. From [your hometown], I'm [your name]."

So my pageant intro would be:

"From the crab-infested waters of the Chesapeake Bay to the gritty streets of Baltimore, I'm proud to represent the redneck state of Maryland. From Bethesda, I'm Mo Rocca!"

Now you give it a shot!!

Chazz Palminteri stopped by the Mo Rocca 180 offices last week to promote his new movie Yonkers Joe and sample some fresh cannoli. (And yes, I know that "Cannoli" is plural. Mea culpa for calling them "Cannolis.") Check out the video below:

Howard Bragman is one of Hollywood's smartest and most successful publicists and crisis counselors. (Among his clients, the Lewinsky family). His new book Where's My Fifteen Minutes? is fast, fun and insightful. The book lays out simple and sensible rules for any person or company that wants to shape (or reshape) its public perception.

He also explains how any celebrity can rejigger his image. Any celebrity? Watch the video below, then weigh in:

7:58pm ET

I'm at the Holiday Inn Capitol Plaza in Frankfort, KY and it is a really great city. But which channel is Fox?!! (Found it! It's Channel 5. Phew...)

8:00pm ET

Okay, we're in Kansas City, David Cook's hometown. I love KC's steaks, jazz and museum (Nelson-Atkins). But wait, are we on the Kansas or Missouri side?

Paula is wearing a chartreuse babydoll dress. She hugs Jason Castro (who looks like he's running Kansas City's cartel.) Another Idol alum fallen on hard times?

Chelsea Marquardt: interesting fake by AI. She looks like - and was presented as - a winner. Great teeth. But she ended up caterwauling. I don't see that coming. (It's all for the best. Her eyes are too widely set for stardom.)

Ugh, Kara is back with her "sweetie" thing. With straight hair, she's even smugger. She's not working for me. (At my dinner in Frankfort tonight, there were lots of complaints from courtly Kentuckians about Kara's arrogance)

I like Ashley Anderson. She screwed up the lyrics but was unflappable. She has a sense of humor and looks like an early Cher. What's more, early Cher didn't have a sense of humor. (I screwed up the lyrics when I auditioned for Mel Brooks for The Producers - to replace Matthew Broderick after he left the show - and almost had a heart attack!)

8:14

Casey Carlson is cute but she's a face-scruncher. (I wonder if she's backing Coleman or Franken?)

This opera guy is being set up as a freak. Is this another fake-out? Will he end up being brilliant? ... Okay, his name is Brian Hettler and, yes, he's a joke. Too bad, because actually he could probably sound good if he tried. Geez, I hope it was worth the 15 seconds of fame. (C'mon, people, are you with me?)


8:25

Deandre Hopkins' Amazing Grace just set back the Civil Rights movement a few decades.

Von Smith is interesting! I love that he started with that weird phlegm thing. He looked like a goner. Then his Over the Rainbow was great: Sam Harris-like, but more interesting. Could he be AI's long-awaited Freddie Mercury?! (Oops, reader Justin astutely compares Von to Jason Mraz...)

Wow, I love Von's mother. She's my favorite mother so far. She's really supportive.

Calling Chris Hansen: Paula is so going to molest Michael Castro. She says "yes, yes, yes!" Will Michael be the wedge between Paula and Kara?


8:45

Matt Breitzke looks like he runs a leather bar. I like him. I like how happy he was with Kara's yes. Wow, Randy really seems irrelevant.

Okay, we have to support this girl (Jessica Furney) who lives with her 93 year-old grandmother. (I'm very pro-grandparents.) Okay, she's going to Hollywood. I hope there's someone at home to take care of her grandmother!

Long commercial break, so here's what I ate tonight in Frankfort:


Flank Bison steak, jalapeno cornbread, asparagus and the best Old Fashioned I've ever had! (If you're in Frankfort, you have to eat at Serafini.)

9:00

Okay, we're back. Wow, how moving that Asia was so supportive of her sister, India.

Jamar Rogers is imitating Clay Aiken. He should not go to Hollywood.

By the way, what is the point of adding a fourth judge if they never disagree?!


Serafini looks out on the Old State Capitol. A beautiful town.


9:11

Danny Gokey is a fun performer. But forgive me, was there something a little "off" (by which I mean exploitative) about the story of his late wife? Or maybe it's the way AI kept promo'ing it tonight that seems a wee bit inappropriate?

I loved that the chunky girl sang Loretta Lynn's You Ain't Woman Enough to Take My Man.

This nerdy Indian guy, Anoop Desai, is interesting. Quick, what's his nickname?
Strumlord Millionaire? Maybe Randy's Anoop-Dog is better?

9:24

I'm glad they're using You Gotta Get A Gimmick from Gypsy. I just saw the last performance with Patti Lupone this past Sunday!

I'm rooting for Andrew Lang after his friends cheered for him. (Andrew Orlando and Dawn?) But why do all these singers insist on all the "runs" when singing simpler would be nicer?

Wow, Andrew didn't make it! I thought he was going to make it. Is this the first time that someone screwed up when he was asked to sing a second time? Harsh. The lesson: keep it simple!

IDOL ALERT: Thanks to Abby for a major scoop. Von Smith has already been on network TV -- The View!




9:36

Michael Nicewonder is Nebraska's Corky St. Claire.

Dennis Brigham's family is a little over-the-top. Is AI the new NBA? Don't get me wrong, I really like Dennis. He had me at the back-flip. He's super likable.

9:50

I love Mia Conley. I love how she invokes the wrath of God. Very Old Testament.

Okay, I'm sorry about this last girl's tornado catastrophe. But come on, is this American Idol or Queen For A Day?! Her name is Lil Rounds and she does have class: is she our generation's Roberta Flack?

So that's it. My favorite of the night: Dennis Brigham.

Finally here's a picture of the wonderful Kentuckians who took me to dinner tonight. I'm here doing a story (to air 2/15/09) for CBS Sunday Morning on Lincoln's 200th birthday. Thanks to all the great people from the Kentucky Lincoln Bicentennial Commission)



Goodnight, everyone!

8:00 ET

Okay, here we go: the new kinder gentler AI is starting.

The open is quite nice: Louis Armstrong's What A Wonderful World. I love the shot of Fantasia crying. Even the shot of the jungle creature kid seemed sweet. Ooh, there's Elliott Yamin's Mom! The shot of Clay with his stalker singing Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me (Single White Idol?) was the only thing that seemed incongruous. That moment was truly too eerie to seem sweet.

The video of the young Archuleta cultists screaming in horror was priceless (though it sort of reminded me of the shots of white women freaking out at OJ's Not Guilty in 1995).

This whole "I am the Next American Idol" is very Obama era. It's all so hopeful. Lots of American flags. Ryan at the Grand Canyon.

And all the crying! (Extreme Makeover: Idol Edition?)

Will there be any of the traditional early episode derision?


8:11

Oooh! We're about to meet Kara DioGuardi, Idol's newest judge!!

Okay, here she is. She's attractive. Paula is making an effort to seem chummy with Kara, since she knows that audiences will be watching their relationship closely. Kara's hairstyle is too similar to Paula's. (Paula's publicist should get on this.)

Btw Kara is Albanian! I wonder if she knows Jim Belushi or DWTS's Tony Dovolani. (Wow, TV is overrun with Albanians.)

First buffoon of the night: Tuan Nguyen. Crazy big fro. Not a bad singer. They didn't eviscerate him, which actually seemed ... crueler than the usual trashing. They were subtler, cattier. Hmmm. Maybe this isn't going to be a nicer AI?

Kara and Paula have the same coloring: they look like cousins?

Kara is calling roll on the judges after Emily Wynn-Hughes sang. Why is she suddenly in charge? Is Kara too type-A for the panel?


8:25

Is this Axl Rose guy for real? If his teary routine is an act, he's a good actor. His name is Randy Madden. He's bad but not spectacularly bad. Okay, he's really bad.

Paula is trying to be serious, talking about "craft." That's not her niche.

His rejection is just sort of depressing. Neither funny nor instructive. It's just a more muted mean. I don't think this new tone is working.

J.B. Ahfua has a great voice. I'd love to see him in a Filipino version of Jersey Boys.

Michael Gurr is an original kind of crazy. He sounds like Peter Lorre. I think it's a put-on but it's kind of fun. Why are they playing the theme from Jaws?

Paula just put on her smart girl glasses.


8:40

Shawn Vasquez (with the glittery star earrings) singing Dionne Warwick is my favorite bad singer so far.

I like Arianna Afsar: she looks like America Ferrara.



8:54

Elijah Scarlett, the man with the horror show voice, is likable. He's a black Vincent Price.

Kara looks like an Albanian Marie Osmond.

Kara's stalker (a young Nicole Kidman in To Die For) is very irritating. Her name is Lea Marie Golde. After last season's suicide, this was a little off-putting.

Kara looks like an Albanian Lynda Carter.

I don't like the panel of four. Too many people.


9:10

So everybody loves roughneck Jeremy.

Okay, here's the heavily-hyped hooker in heels. They've been promo'ing her all night. It looks like she escaped from the set of Momma's Boys (my new FAVORITE reality show -- BRILLIANT! Jojo's mother is the second most hated person in America after Bernie Madoff.)

Her name is Katrina Darrell. Her voice is okay. Wasn't there a girl like her from Long Island a few seasons back?

Kara keeps calling people Sweetie. Now there's a little spat between Kara and Katrina, egged on by Paula who's trying too hard to show her solidarity with Kara. (They'll wait till sweeps for Paula to implode. Then Kara will take over.)

I hate Ryan's shirt. It's putty-colored.

I've got to order some food in. I just worked out and my trainer will kill me if I don't feed my muscles some protein.

9:22

Kara is an Albanian Pamela Sue Martin.

Let's not forget that Mother Teresa was an ethnic Albania. (She was born in Macedonia, not Albania.)

I like Paula's glasses. She looks like Gina Lollabrigida. (sp?)

Randy is really fading.

The girl who said the competition is a joke: was that Meghan McCain?

Why was Simon making the finger at Brianna?!! She was the girl who sang Killing Me Softly. Rewind and look!


9:35

Deanna Brown is from Kentucky. I'm going to Kentucky tomorrow. (Ugh, I have to wake up at 4am.)

Paula's eyeshadow looks great.

Kara looks like an Albanian Jayne Kennedy.

Cody Sheldon: Marilyn Manson meets Hanson. I love that he makes his own slasher porn.

Is Kara trying to affect some Albanian Barbarella look?

Well, are people liking Kara? She's not really popping for me yet. And I don't need to told that she's a songwriter ANYMORE!


9:44

Ooh, I'm not sure I like Simon's "Jaywalking" geography quiz. I always bristle when foreigners come over here to make us look stupid! And I don't like the judges' joke about "coming out of the closet." (I must add: Abkhazia is a disputed region of Georgia, not a fully recognized country.)

Wow, I really like Paula's glasses. And Alex's voice is great!

I'm calling it: Alex is going to be a star!

Kudos on the Dead or Alive losers rendition. Fun, but not cruel. I love the black Vincent Price and the Peter Lorre guy.

Almost done: If they don't send the blind guy to Hollywood, then AI truly has cojones.

9:57

Wow, they're going all out for Scott MacIntyre. A little overboard with the video package. (It's not like he's deaf.)

Gosh, I didn't think he was very good. Kara really would've broken out of the pack had she said no, in which case she would have become the Albanian Leona Helmsley. (Gabrielle astutely points out that Ryan should not try to high-five a blind person. Awkward.)

So what did everyone think? I've got to pack for Kentucky.

Last week's Living Presidents Lunch was at the very least an amazing photo op: Five presidents all together. We don't know what was said at lunch or what was served. (Any thoughts?) But it seems like a good idea for Obama to consult his predecessors on a regular basis. After all, they know where the bodies are buried.

Below is my commentary on the subject from yesterday's CBS News Sunday Morning:



Also, if this did become a reality show, what would you call it? What would the rules be?