Remember last year's unfortunate Britney "comeback" on the VMAs?

Well, MTV News reports that Britney will be given another shot this year. She'll open the show again this Sunday, but not with a performance.

It may actually be not-crazy, if the coherent promo is any indication. How disappointed will the tabloids be if she stays sane through the weekend!

Phil Collins needs to stop getting married. He just got ripped apart in yet another terrible divorce settlement:




There is no justice in a system like this. Yes, sometimes women get hosed, too, like Roseanne Barr did by Tom Arnold. But most of the time it's men who are losing so much money in a system that makes no sense. Are we being PC by not addressing this? In this day and age, why do you have to rely on what your husband made? Why can't you just get a job after the marriage?

I know it's not quite that simple. But at the same time, there is no reason why these women need to be paid multi-million dollar settlements for having done basically nothing in a short period of time. You know what you call people who get paid for nothing but sex?

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US magazine has the scoop on Ellen's marriage to girlfriend Portia De Rossi, which took place at their home Saturday night.

Curiously, the union has put pressure on the Australian government to legalize gay marriage, The Canberra Times reports (De Rossi is Australian, and 60% of the country reportedly supports the institution).

Remember Fake Steve Jobs? We've always thought there should be more fake blogs like that. And now there's another good one: "I'm More Than a Bonus Jonas, Dad," a satirical blog by a fake Frankie Jonas, baby brother to Disney boy band the Jonas Brothers. Here's a sample:

This is the new album the Other Brothers released today called A Little Bit Longer (I'm only 7, but that doesn't sound right). Here's a tracklisting, with what the songs are about in parentheses:

Even after being schooled by Paris Hilton, McCain's not abandoning the "celebrity" Obama ads. They are so juvenile, it's hard to believe anyone could be moved by them, but clearly McCain's planning to keep it up.

The argument, again, is that people are excited about Obama and therefore they are ignorant. Because excitement is synonymous with stupidity, apparently?

So there are ever more leaked photos of Miley Cyrus in panties thanks to some jerk who's invaded her privacy by hacking into her cell phone.

Why is there such an outcry about these photos? Is Miley supposed to stay 12 forever? She's almost an adult and if she has private photos of herself posing a little sexily or kissing her boyfriend, why does this make her some kind of harlot?

It just seems like everyone has a really short memory for what it's like to be a teenager.

In the video below you will see a face of Anderson Cooper you don't normally see on CNN:





They should let this Anderson Cooper out more often. I like this guy. I am bored to tears with the dull guy they send out to anchor on CNN every night. Let Anderson be Anderson!

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As we all know, McCain ran a tacky ad comparing Obama to Paris Hilton, insinuating that he's a vapid celebrity. Well, Paris has attacked back on Funny or Die with this pretty awesome campaign ad parody. Best line: "I'll see you at the debates, bitches."

Did playing Batman get to Christian Bale? As The Dark Knight breaks box-office records and positive reviews flow in, Reuters has an unseemly story about Bale's alleged off-set behavior.

The press is reporting that Bale was taken to a London police station and grilled about an assault charge made against him by his sister and mother. He has denied the charge, but the L.A. Times blog suggests the incident involved Bale's response to something said to his wife.

Christopher Ciccone, the Roger Clinton of the celebrity world, has written a memoir about his sister, Madonna, and judging from the excerpt on the Daily Mail Online, it is not pretty (or good). Here's an excerpt of the excerpt:

I am not keen to attend the wedding because I really can't afford it. Moreover, I no longer have any affinity for Guy.

But Madonna owes me the final payment for the interior design work I did on one of her houses and when I call to make my apologies, her assistant tells me the debt will be paid in the form of a ticket to Scotland, with the rest of the money sent separately. . . .

The rumors have been flying for days now, but finally there's confirmation from that source of sources, the People Daily email: the Jolie-Pitt twins, Vivienne Marcheline and Knox Leon, were born on Saturday by C-section in Nice, France.

Everyone's healthy and Nice's mayor is just giddy about it.

So, celebrity watchers, rejoice, for the suspense is over: the "most famous babies in the world" are now among us and the couple now has six chidren.

Now all that's left is this mystery: why do all the Jolie-Pitt boys' names (Pax, Maddox, Knox) end with an X?

Some eyebrows were raised yesterday when Don Imus had this exchange, CNN reports:

Sportscaster Warner Wolf told Imus that Adam Jones wanted to change his name to disassociate himself from past legal trouble.

"He's been arrested six times since being drafted by Tennessee in 2005," Wolf said.
"What color is he?" Imus asked.

"He's African-American," Wolf responded.

"Well, there you go," Imus said. "Now we know."

George Carlin died yesterday of heart failure at the age of 71. The great comedian, author of the legendary routine "Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television," will be missed. In his honor, here's a video of Carlin performing a routine about age in 1976. It's the only thing we could find without lots of cursing. There are some more explicit greatest hits here. And here's an interview Carlin did with Larry King when he was 64 in which he tells the age jokes from the above act and explains why he's not actually an atheist even though he doesn't believe in God.

Our friend Brendan Kennedy at MTV just filed this report about the biggest online dance battle of all time, now raging on YouTube. The competitors: Miley Cyrus and her friend Mandy versus the ACDC dancers.

Here's the original April volley by Adam Sevani (Moose from Step Up 2: The Streets, which looks awesome) and Jon Chu (the movie's director).

Miley and Mandy generated this response. Then Chu smoked the girls with an answer (above) that featured Adam Sandler, Diana Ross and Lindsay Lohan. Miley appeared to be defeated. Then this happened . . .