Over the course of a single season an AI contestant's looks can improve markedly. We see this in the video obit played at the end of a loser's "journey". The contestant looks pale and zitty at their first local audition, when they walk into the small conference room at the Birmingham, Alabama Ramada Inn, lit poorly by fluorescent lights from above. By the time the obit plays to the strains of "I'm Goin' Home," the contestant has a healthy Peach Pit glow.

But the more startling changes happen season-to-season. We all remember Clay Aiken emerging from behind at last year's finale, looking like k.d. lang, to greet his desperate doppelganger, Michael Sandecki (aka Clay Faiken), while both sang "Don't Let The Sun Shine Down On Me." Sandecki became crazed. I wasn't sure if he was going to kiss Clay - or try to stab him. It was a terrifying "Single White Idol" moment. Luckily the robotic Ryan efficiently straitjacketed Sandecki and Clay was safe. (While being carted off afterward, Sandecki was heard pining, "I've always depended on the kindness of Seacrest.")

But Clay's transformation has been eclipsed by two others this year: Kellie Pickler's astonishing new jugs. And Elliott Yamin's new teeth, aka The White Cliffs of Dover.

So...

I am bereft. I am in Columbia, SC's airport. (Consolation: Free internet access!) But I was unable to watch Idol last night. I've had to make do with YouTube clips. Is this how the kids watch Idol?

Thank goodness Sanjaya's performance of "Cheek to Cheek" was posted. Once again Sanjaya was shrewd - brilliant! - in selecting his song. "Heaven, I'm in Heaven," the song begins. We don't know if Sanjaya is a practicing Hindu. But it should be noted that heaven is not a focal point in Hinduism - just a temporary state known as swarga loka - in the reincarnation cycle. (Ooh, I do love the idea of a reincarnated Sanjaya coming back to perform in American Idol season 112 - getting sneered at by Simon's wickedly mean great-granddaughter. Of course by that point the show will be broadcast from Bangalore and the dark horse contestant will be an immigrant from Alabama.) In any case, Sanjaya's homage to "Heaven" was a calculated reassurance to Christian voters that he respects their theology.

On a less spiritual plane, it's worth remembering that the magnificent and notoriously grumpy Irving Berlin (composer of "Cheek to Cheek" for the 1935 movie musical "Top Hat") called Fred Astaire, who originally sang the song, his favorite singer. Astaire was not a singer. Like Sanjaya he had a thin, quavering voice. But he felt the lyrics. He had heart. And heart is Sanjaya's selling point.

(Photos: Fox/AP)