THE LAST STALL ON THE LEFT

Larry Craig is having second thoughts about resigning. This is terrific. He shouldn't resign. Rather, here is what he should say, "I didn't do anything wrong. Basically all I did was go into a men's bathroom and wave my hand and tap my foot. Actually I had in mind a particularly catchy Sinatra song. Somewhat to my surprise, there was a fellow in the next stall who also started tapping his foot. I was a little worried that this fellow might be gay, but hey, that's illegal only in the Muslim countries, not in America. So I kept tapping my foot.

If Larry Craig was a Democrat, we'd be hearing a lot from liberals in the media about how he was bravely exploring his sexual identity. We would hear indignant objections to this policeman who, obviously having nothing better to do with his time, was doing surveillance in airport bathrooms in search of innocent people to harass and victimize. The ACLU would be right in there, asking about Craig's right to privacy and wondering why such ambiguous evidence (he placed his bag in front of the door, he tapped his foot) was enough to warrant arrest and prosecution. Even Craig's guilty plea would be employed in his favor: look, the man is at least being honest about what he did, and why should he be ashamed of being who he is? If Larry Craig was a Democrat, the system, not Craig, would be on trial.

• Craig is imperious. He's supposed to serve the public, yet treats Karsnia, a dedicated public servant who has to sit on the crapper all day on the watch for creeps like Craig, with contempt.

• Craig is a liar. He was once one of the Clinton inquisitors (his own appearance on Meet the Press during the Lewinsky scandal would be hilarious, if it weren't pathetic), and now smugly parses words in a way that makes Clinton's parsing seem quaint. (Reaching down to grab a piece of paper? Please, airport bathrooms are so filthy, my rollerboard suitcase has been treated twice for typhus and once for plantar warts.)
  

• Craig is driven by personal demons. It's embarrassing to listen to him lie: "I don't do these kind of things." It's apparent right there that the office of Senator is some sort of conversion therapy for him: Rail against gay people, support a constitutional amendment against gay marriage, object even to civil unions ... and maybe, just maybe, those nasty nasty thoughts will go away!!

In his arrest reports, which were released by the police department, Karsnia typically detailed motioning suspects to a private spot where he could explain the arrest. Often, he asked the men for suggestions for solving the lewd conduct problem at the airport. (One suggested lower stall dividers and more police presence.)

He chatted with one of them, a Canadian, about the upcoming Canada Day holiday. Karsnia noted in his report that the man was polite and cooperative.

His audiotaped interview with Craig, also released by the department, started in a similar vein. But Karsnia grew more heated in the interview's final minutes as Craig continued to deny that he had done anything to signal he was looking for sex.

Accusing Craig of failing to tell the truth, Karsnia told the senator: "I guess I'm just saying I'm just disappointed in you, sir. I just really am. I expect this from the guy we get out of the 'hood. I mean people vote for you. Unbelievable."

Later, he added: "Embarrassing. Embarrassing. No wonder why we're going down the tubes," and closed the interview.

That last line is heart stopping. Especially Karsnia's delivery. Throughout the recording, you can hear how surprised, then disappointed, the officer is by the senator's chutzpah. There is nothing grandstanding, nothing put on or "tough guy cop" about Karsnia. (His occasional stammering only adds to the listener's sense of indignation: Is this man really lying like this?!) And nothing bigoted. He's simply doing his job, and is saddened by the Senator's behavior - not the behavior in the bathroom so much as the behavior afterward.

It's not the illicit cruising; it's the cover-up.