It was a pretty amazing journey for Mike Huckabee. Was it worth it? Absolutely. No doubt the guy gets a talk show out of this. He's great TV, plus he's got a great story with his phenomenal weight loss. Indeed, The Biggest Loser may end up the Big Winner.

Now let's take a look at his journey...

Conan O'Brian, Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart have all been losing viewers according to the News York Times. Although I haven't noticed any dip in the Daily Show's performance. The Colbert Report hasn't been the same, Stephen is pro at Improv but probably helps to have his jokes written, but I love the guy and still watch him every night. Once this strike is over I am confident they will be back to pre-strike levels. If anything good came out of the strike it was this clip below from the Conan O'Brian show /w guests Stewart and Colbert.
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Mike Huckabee invoked the slippery slope theory when he warned last week that gay marriage would eventually lead to bestiality. "Eventually"? Obviously Mike hasn't spent much time in New York...

It's been a long week here on NB, lets all just sit back and enjoy the comedy stylings of two of my favourite American cultural icons. This is an interesting series of events. Both Conan and Colbert are claiming responsibility for Mike Huckabee's success. Here are the clips that illustrate the faux drama.

If you have never watched the Conan/Walker Texas Ranger clips, I highly recommend them. Below is about seven minutes worth, really gives you an idea for just how silly Chuck Norris is.

Next video in this online journey is Mike Huckabee's recent interview with Stephen Colbert. I believe this clip will also include Colbert's remarks towards Conan. I am not sure simply because I actually can't watch the clip, when I click play it tells me "Fuck you Canada." Well, Not literally, but thats what it feels like, Comedy Central/Viacom has some sort of software installed in their embeds that can determine the nationality of web surfers, hence blocking us from watching clips online. So please let me know if this is the right clip. Cheers

The quote below by Huckabee is so insane, I still can't quite believe it. If he really means what he says, he wants the turn the US into a Christian Taliban state, where we would be ruled by what Mike Huckabee believes is "God's standards." And how would Huckabee know what God wants?

Here is the unbelievable quote from Huckabee:




Please tell me Republicans aren't seriously considering nominating this guy. But this is only one of four crazy stories coming out of the Huckabee camp today. First, you can read about how he wants to change the constitution here. Then, read how he signed a document saying women should "submit" to their husbands. Then, read about how one of his senior advisers thinks we should post a cop in front of every mosque (imagine if he said that about synagogues) and that genocide against Sunnis in Iraq would be acceptable.

Then read about how he wants to stop all immigration from any country that sponsors or harbors terrorists. That would mean we would end immigration from "allies" like Saudi Arabia, Kuwait and Pakistan. It might even mean we end immigration from Germany where some of the 9/11 bombers lived and that recently released a defendant involved in the 9/11 plot (because we wouldn't cooperate and give them evidence we collected from our detainees, probably because we tortured them). In fact, you know the country where all of the 9/11 bombers lived right before they committed their heinous act of terror? The United States.

The man has to think before he talks. His own camp had to back away from his last statement about ending immigration from all these countries. But the bigger problem seems to be that he has thought some of these things through and these crazy statements are his true opinions. Now, that's really scary.

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So I recently learnt Internet favourite Ron Paul wasn't invited to the pre-NH primary debate. Actually, I'm being told it's not a debate, either way it's still a nationally televised political thingee. Fox News did invite Mike Huckabee to speak at this political thing, probably to learn about his ideas about political things.

I have seen on the rolling news where they call Ron Paul crazy, well... This Huckabee fella is an absolute loon.

There are three reasons why you shouldn't vote for Mike Huckabee, but you only need one:




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In the video below, we prove without a shadow of a doubt that Huckabee's staff intended to have a white window pane in the background appear as a cross in his Christmas ad:




Besides which, his whole ad is about how Christian he is and he says the most important thing is the birth of Christ. This ad is not about subtlety and his real message is: I am the real Christian in this race.

The worst part is that it is wrapped in a sugar-coated, sickeningly saccharine coating (you can watch the whole ad and Ron Paul's fantastic response to it here). Are Americans still this naive that they're going to fall for this cheesy dude in the red sweater pretending he cares more about you because he is with Jesus Christ?

I'm afraid of the answer to that question.

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Mike Huckabee's "innocent" question regarding Mitt Romney's Mormon faith -- "Don't Mormons believe that Jesus and the devil are brothers?" -- is the single cattiest comment to ever pass the lips of a Baptist minister. (If Clare Booth Luce, author of The Women, were alive, she'd be green with envy. Not even she could have penned such a wicked query.) It's clear that Mike Huckabee's talents would be wasted in the White House. The man should be writing for Desperate Housewives.

So what's the image Huckabee is trying to give us of what those Mormons believe? Watch below.


(My prediction: If Huckabee wins the nomination he will successfully turn Utah into America's bluest state.)

***

Brandon's comment led me to a widely seen cartoon (below) purportedly describing what Mormons believe. I HAVE NO IDEA IF THIS IS TRUE. I know nothing about Mormonism - except that Temple Square in Salt Lake City is the second cleanest place I've ever been (Toyko Disneyland is cleaner), and the acoustics at the Mormon Tabernacle Hall are perfect. I attended a choir rehearsal there and it was thrilling. (I have an album of the choir singing Civil War songs. Awesome.) I post the cartoon below simply because it's fascinating - wildly so.

Truthfully I find this pissing match between religions disgusting. Today during our morning coffee break at the office, I started fuming about it to my assistant, Peggy.

"The Founding Fathers are spinning in their graves!" I said.

"I was always taught the Founding Fathers were righteous men," she said as she poured herself a cup of decaf. I'd forgotten how, um, traditional Peggy is. (Today she was wearing a sweater with big appliqued holly leaves.)

"Give me a break, Peggy," I said. "The Founding Fathers would never condone this use of religion. Besides, everybody's religion is wacky when you start describing it. I'm Catholic. Ever hear of transubstantiation? That's where the priest magically transforms bread and wine into the body and blood of Christ before a live congregation!"

"Christians know that Jesus is the Son of God and Savior," she said pointedly. I'd forgotten that Peggy is hardly a fan of the Catholic Church. "I don't bother with all the rest."

"Fine, Peggy," I sighed. "But as far as I'm concerned, everyone's religion - and their sex life - is pretty freaky when you get down to the details. " The word "sex" ever so slightly startled the otherwise unflappable Peggy.

"We've got a shipment going out in about ten minutes," she dutifully reminded me - itself a reminder that I should never talk religion at work!!

Now on with the show...