Today on CBS News Sunday Morning I reported on the real-life "Iron Man": a robotic exoskeleton that amplifies the strength of the person wearing it up to 20 times.

I confess that I'd never even heard of Iron Man when producer Anthony Laudato approached me about the project. I assumed this was his own private obsession. (Anthony is such a robot fanatic, he's on the steering committee of the National Robot Museum, set to open in Landover, MD in 2011. And no, I'm not purchasing a ticket to their "steel tie" gala fundraiser.) But once I began reading about Tony Stark, Iron Man's womanizing, hard-drinking genius inventor, I was hooked.

The real-life exoskeleton is named XOS and is the brainchild of Dr. Stephen Jacobson's team at Raytheon Sarcos in Salt Lake City. Jacobson is the man behind the Utah artificial arm, created in 1983 and still the standard for casualties of war. XOS is being developed for commercial, medical and military purposes. (One intriguing goal is for XOS to be used by medical personnel to help move patients.) What was most extraordinary to me was the near instantaneous reaction of the suit to the user's movements -- i.e., if the guy inside of it moved his right arm upward ever so slightly, XOS moved right with it. (One problem with XOS's various predecessors is that the exoskeleton would take more than a split second to follow along, thus creating a drag effect that exhausts the user ... and defeats much of the purpose.)

Here is a photo from the shoot:


Mercy!

***

Readers of this blog know that I am a long-time fan of Mormon singing. So the ouster of golden-voiced songstress Brooke White from American Idol last week was both shocking -- and clear evidence of prejudice. Had she remained in the competition, a staggering 50% of the remaining contestants would be LDS members. Surprising, yes. But so what? Every great American show tune composer, with the exception of Cole Porter, has been Jewish. And I wouldn't sacrifice one bar of Gershwin, Kern, Berlin, Rodgers, Loesser or Sondheim in some wrongheaded attempt to "spread the wealth."

Whether or not the elimination of Brooke White qualifies as a hate crime is something for lawyers to sort out. The producers of American Idol should sigh relief that Mormons tend to be less litigious than other Christian denominations. (They're too busy singing and trying to improve their dancing.)

In any case, my trip to Salt Lake City to report on XOS meant a stay at the hip Hotel Monaco. I'd stayed there before and really didn't notice the personnel. But this time, I couldn't help but notice something peculiar: Every employee's name tag had a mysterious designation right below their names. The spiky-haired blond desk clerk's tag read "Brian," with "Sponge Bob" written on a second line. His colleague's tag read "Whitney," with "Purple" just below it. (My producer Anthony is terrified of the color purple. He pretended not to hear her when she offered to check him in and instead waited for Brian.)

What were these special inscriptions? Were they nicknames? Biblical citations? Second Life avatars? My initial instinct was simply not to ask. I'm sensitive to all religious traditions. And many of my dearest Utah friends are still reeling from the Utah War, the bloody conflict between federal authorities and the Mormon militia that ended in July 1858. (If anyone knows of sesquicentennial celebrations for the end of the Utah War, please write. We'd all like to know!)

But I also knew that not asking might constitute a sin of omission. What if the employees were members of a cell, communicating through their own secret language of name tag code? I wanted to ask Chelsie (alias: "Coca-Cola"), but she looked terrified when I glanced at her tag. Was Chelsie strapped to a bomb against her will? Set to detonate when I got too nosy?

Finally I asked Buddy, the valet (alias: "Love").

"They're our guilty pleasures," he said. "They show another side of us."

Love is a guilty pleasure? Huh? I understood how Chelsie's Coke habit constituted a guilty pleasure, what with the Mormon prohibition against caffeine.

"Did these have to be approved?" I asked. "I imagine some were too racy."

"Oh, yeah," said Buddy. "Jake's guilty pleasure was cougars," he said referring to women who like men 10 years younger. "That wasn't going to fly. He managed to get 'cougar' singular put on his tag. But the boss was still bothered."

So what did Jake (another valet) end up with?

"Tulips," said Buddy.

Is it just me, or does "Tulips" sound dirtier than "Cougars"?

David Archuleta	Brooke White

On Wednesday night's American Idol results show, something extraordinary happened: The first of the Top Ten finalists announced was tiger beat boy David Archuleta. The second was the group's "Mommy" Brooke White.

So for at least a few minutes 100% of the confirmed finalists were Mormons. Think about that.

This day was a day that was never supposed to come. Indeed for the first few seasons of Idol the idea of an openly Mormon Top Ten finalist was simply unfathomable. (Statistics on Mormon Idol contestants are famously unreliable.) Clearly times have changed. Is this a belated validation of the strides made by the Mitt Romney candidacy? Perhaps. Although the Republican ex-Governor's campaign failed, he forced Americans to come to terms with their anti-LDS prejudices and emboldened Mormon voters (and singers?) to flex their muscle (and vocal cords?).

Whatever the ramifications of this explosion of out and proud LDS singers, the question must be asked: Are Mormons simply better at singing than other Christian denominations? The answer seems to be yes.

With 5.5 million church members in the U.S., they represent less than 2% of the population. And yet they're 20% of the Idol Top Ten. (Factor in the international scope of this year's competition - itself a controversy - and the LDS representation is even more impressive.) No other Christian denomination comes close.

The Osmonds, of course, are the best example of what critics call the "Mormon Melody Mafia." Out of nine children born to George and Olive Osmond, seven (a whopping 77%) are gifted singers. The other two, Virl and Tom, are deaf. Yet even they appreciate music, having appeared on The Donnie and Marie Christmas Special in 1978.

So why are Mormons such good singers?

• They don't smoke. (I love Bonnie Tyler as much as anyone, but raspy-voiced singers spend their careers swimming upstream.)
  
• They don't drink alcohol or caffeine.
  
• They have large families that sing together at home and in tabernacle choirs. On a trip to Salt Lake City in 1999 I had the great pleasure of sitting through a rehearsal of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. The acoustics: astonishing. The organ: 11,623 pipes. The experience: unforgettable. One of my favorite cds remains the choir singing civil war hymns.
  
• They live at high altitudes. Because they're used to thin air, their breath control is unrivaled. (Whether that gives them an unfair advantage at sea level is another matter.)
  
• They don't dance.

This last point is certain to provoke sharp disagreement. But here are the facts: Most Mormons can't dance. As a result, their focus remains squarely on singing. So rather than being mediocre singer-dancers, they're bungling, graceless, lumbering ... and golden-voiced. "Klutzy Carusos," one famous music critic dubbed them. Wait outside the stage door of the Tabernacle Choir as the 320 choristers exit post-performance and you'll likely witness a massive pile-up. A mountain of tangled limbs and sheet music. But the cries for help? Never off-key.

(That Marie Osmond could put one foot in front of the other on Dancing with the Stars was a miracle. Of course it would have helped had she practiced more and shrieked about her doll collection less.)

Not surprisingly the first of the Top Twelve finalists eliminated was lap-dancer David Hernandez. (Lap-dancing is strictly forbidden in Utah, with two exceptions: the Olympic village in 2002 was granted dispensation. Plus there's a club in Provo that sells membership cards for lap-dancing.) I liked David Hernandez but I suspect he would have sounded better had he not spread himself so thin.

So what do you think? Why are Mormons so much better than other Christians at singing?

***

HELP WANTED:

- I'm still looking for material for my cabaret show featuring music about states. Specifically I'm looking for a recording of - or even just sheet music for - the early 20th century song "When it's Apple Blossom Time in Orange, New Jersey, we'll make a Peach of a Pair." (I realize that this is more about fruit than New Jersey, but it sounds like a winner.) Also has anyone heard Steve Allen's song "Spring in Maine"? Is it any good?

- Is anyone reading involved in planning a 200th birthday celebration for Abraham Lincoln? I'm a huge Lincoln lover and want to get involved. I emailed historian Richard Norton Smith at George Mason University, but he hasn't responded. (He once gave me a private tour of the Lincoln Museum in Springfield, so I'm guessing he's just been busy. Or maybe he's still sore at my Mary Todd Lincoln wisecracks.)

Mike Huckabee's "innocent" question regarding Mitt Romney's Mormon faith -- "Don't Mormons believe that Jesus and the devil are brothers?" -- is the single cattiest comment to ever pass the lips of a Baptist minister. (If Clare Booth Luce, author of The Women, were alive, she'd be green with envy. Not even she could have penned such a wicked query.) It's clear that Mike Huckabee's talents would be wasted in the White House. The man should be writing for Desperate Housewives.

So what's the image Huckabee is trying to give us of what those Mormons believe? Watch below.


(My prediction: If Huckabee wins the nomination he will successfully turn Utah into America's bluest state.)

***

Brandon's comment led me to a widely seen cartoon (below) purportedly describing what Mormons believe. I HAVE NO IDEA IF THIS IS TRUE. I know nothing about Mormonism - except that Temple Square in Salt Lake City is the second cleanest place I've ever been (Toyko Disneyland is cleaner), and the acoustics at the Mormon Tabernacle Hall are perfect. I attended a choir rehearsal there and it was thrilling. (I have an album of the choir singing Civil War songs. Awesome.) I post the cartoon below simply because it's fascinating - wildly so.

Truthfully I find this pissing match between religions disgusting. Today during our morning coffee break at the office, I started fuming about it to my assistant, Peggy.

"The Founding Fathers are spinning in their graves!" I said.

"I was always taught the Founding Fathers were righteous men," she said as she poured herself a cup of decaf. I'd forgotten how, um, traditional Peggy is. (Today she was wearing a sweater with big appliqued holly leaves.)

"Give me a break, Peggy," I said. "The Founding Fathers would never condone this use of religion. Besides, everybody's religion is wacky when you start describing it. I'm Catholic. Ever hear of transubstantiation? That's where the priest magically transforms bread and wine into the body and blood of Christ before a live congregation!"

"Christians know that Jesus is the Son of God and Savior," she said pointedly. I'd forgotten that Peggy is hardly a fan of the Catholic Church. "I don't bother with all the rest."

"Fine, Peggy," I sighed. "But as far as I'm concerned, everyone's religion - and their sex life - is pretty freaky when you get down to the details. " The word "sex" ever so slightly startled the otherwise unflappable Peggy.

"We've got a shipment going out in about ten minutes," she dutifully reminded me - itself a reminder that I should never talk religion at work!!

Now on with the show...

Yesterday I wrote what many observers read as an endorsement of Marie Osmond for this year's Dancing With The Stars crown. I lauded Marie for her perseverance through two and a half months of personal hell (even if I thought her Mambo last week was clunky.)

What a difference a night makes. Last night Marie faced off against Melanie Brown (aka Scary Spice) and indy car champ Helio Castroneves.

First the highlight of Marie's performance: Her impersonation of a live blow up doll to the Rolling Stones' "Start Me Up" during the freestyle competition was more than a jolt. It was a cultural moment. The image of Marie as a giant sex toy was a stunning repudiation of so many assumptions we've made about this woman for over 40 years. She's not the simpleminded good girl sitting at home crafting dolls for little old ladies and their granddaughters. She's a woman - and she's perfectly happy being manhandled by her younger partner, Jonathan. Post-feminism is back, courtesy of Marie.



As for her faith, she made it clear with this dance: She respects her religion, but her religion doesn't own her.

But while Marie's freestyle performance bordered on high art - expect to see the video of this performance playing on a loop in modern art galleries everywhere - it doesn't negate the fact that her opening Samba blew chunks. What's more, we saw the megalomaniac side of Marie when she bullied the judges for their less than sterling reviews. Haughtily proclaiming herself "one of the top doll designers in the world" did little for her much vaunted likability.

Even after her sex-drenched freestyle, she reminded viewers that she's a doll designer (WE KNOW!). The unflappable Tom Bergeron had had enough and tartly replied, "I think we all know that," before shooing her away.

Meanwhile Scary Mel fared only a little better - no thanks to her Spice Girl sisters in the front row. Her opening cha-cha was fine. But her freestyle performance was one long call girl infomercial. When the judges diplomatically pointed out that she was off the charts on the slutty scale, the Spice Girls in the audience turned into menacing soccer hooligans. Baby, Ginger and Sporty started booing and cursing. (Posh, aka Victoria Beckham, was too weak to boo, though she did manage to sit up - kind of.) Judge Carrie Ann Inaba seemed afraid that one of them might drag her onto the "pitch" and start kicking her in the stomach. Not an unreasonable fear.

Which brings us to Helio Castroneves. His opening jive (?) was exhilarating, even if the footwork was faulty. When the judges pointed this out, he accepted their criticism graciously. Then came his freestyle, a grand prix satire of race car driver bravado. The lifts were so great that judge Bruno Tonioli momentarily dropped the Roberto Benigni act (my neighbor tells me that Tonioli is actually from Jacksonville, Florida).

Helio has never performed professionally. Yet he's the best dancer - and, yes, the most likable. And probably the best role model for young competitors. He's got my vote! (Close observers also noticed that Leeza Gibbons smiled and applauded after Helio's performance. Until that moment she'd maintained strict neutrality - like a Supreme Court justice at a State of the Union address.)

***

Some Marie Osmond supporters have brought it to my attention that Helio is Brazilian and, as such, has an unfair advantage when it comes to dancing. Dancing is a major part of Brazilian life. (Brazil is also known for its sugar-based ethanol fuel.)

In fact dancing in the annual Carnival parade is compulsory for all Brazilians above the age of six. Indeed I'm hard pressed to name a clumsy Brazilian. They may not exist. (If you're acquainted with any clumsy Brazilians, please let us know in the comments section!)

Click here for my reaction to Monday night's performance!

I've been a Marie Osmond fan ever since she tottered onto stage on The Andy Williams Show at the age of three!



I love the above clip because:
A. I love quartets.
B. I love Andy Williams. (His recording of MacArthur Park is operatic.)
C. I love any song from The Music Man. In fact, in honor of the imminent Iowa Caucuses, I am listening to no other musical cast recordings for the next month.

As readers of this blog know, the original Osmond Brothers quartet - Alan, Wayne, Merrill and Jay - were discovered on a trip to Disneyland by Andy Williams' father. (This was a gentler time, long before people were dumping human remains at Disney theme parks.)

I'm not sure why Andy Williams' father was skulking around Disneyland alone in the middle of the day, but that's not my concern. (I don't work for Dateline.) Osmond Patriarch George had taken his boys to the park after the talent show they'd traveled from Provo to LA for had been canceled. The boys were sad and began singing their troubles away, while waiting in line for Small World. Old man Williams heard the boys and, breathless with excitement, called his son on a pay phone. Soon the boys' disappointment turned to triumph - and a dynasty was born!!

Remember Polygamy? It was a huge political issue in the 19th century - and the premise for a crappy HBO series in this century. Prohibiting it in Utah way back when was a condition for statehood. Indeed Congress outlawed it in 1890.

Now it's back in the news with Mormon Mitt Romney running for president. He says he abhors the practice and wants to assure voters that he has no intention of bringing it back.

But my co-blogger Dinesh D'Souza says that it's coming back, whether we like it or not - courtesy of gay marriage. Without saying so explicitly, he cites the "slippery slope" principle.

I love the slippery slope principle. Without it cable news would be a snooze-fest. It's the pretext for all the best CNN-MSNBC-FoxNews knockdown drag-outs.

From the right:
"Don't you see? Once you legalize medical marijuana, then you're going to have to legalize cocaine for 'clinical reasons.' Then our children will start shooting up at recess - and our schools will become cartels!"

From the left:
"Just you wait. It starts with the Patriot Act and the government looking at our library records. Then the government will have cameras in our bedrooms - and inside our bodies! I'm sorry, the whole thing's really scary ... Orwellian. I'm building my own secret annex to hide from these Nazis."

At its best this fearmongering is kind of amusing. But it's still fearmongering. I don't like fearmongering. Social policy driven primarily by fear usually ends up hurting more than helping, dividing more than uniting.

Dinesh and I debated the polygamy-gay marriage connection at a forum at Brigham Young University's GLBT Center in 1994. Here's what I said then:

I'm not a fan of Mitt Romney. His televangelist looks alone make me uneasy. Then there's also that nasty flip-flop habit.

But I can't deny that I'm happy to see the Romney camp call out Al Sharpton on what certainly sounds like an anti-Mormon comment. Here it is:

"As for the one Mormon running for office, those who really believe in God will defeat him anyways, so don't worry about that; that's a temporary situation," Sharpton said during a debate with [Christopher] Hitchens at the New York Public Library.

Not everyone in America signed on to Sharpton's elevation to National Moral Arbiter during last month's Imus imbroglio. (The news networks, on the other hand, were happy to acquiesce. That Tawana Brawley messiness was wiped from the record in an instant.)

"In no way did I attack Mormons or the Mormon Church when I responded that other believers, not atheists, would vote against Mr. Romney for purely political reasons," Sharpton said.

Last month Sharpton insisted, when asked if Imus was bigot, that he couldn't know what was in Don Imus' heart - i.e., perception matters as much intent. Fair enough.

Well then, all we have to go on are Sharpton's words and how they sound. And they certainly sound, um, bigoted.

Considering my constant bitching about religion, it only seems obvious that I would commend Rep. Stark for his honesty about his atheist beliefs. The fact is, I don't care. I shouldn't have to care! Rep. Stark and everyone else who has a hand in one of the various branches of our government is allowed to believe or not believe in anything they want. For example, there are a number of people in government who pray to a god that would like you to be killed for committing adultery.

Leviticus 20:10 (King James Version) And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

Thankfully, because of the doctrine of separation of church and state, our sex crazed society is spared execution for sexual indiscretions.

... no man shall be compelled to frequent or support any religious worship, place, or ministry whatsoever, nor shall be enforced, restrained, molested, or burthened in his body or goods, nor shall otherwise suffer on account of his religious opinions or belief; but that all men shall be free to profess, and by argument to maintain, their opinion in matters of religion, and that the same shall in no wise diminish enlarge, or affect their civil capacities.

I understand that a person's religious beliefs will color the way they view their life and society but those beliefs have no place in our government. Some of you might say, "thou shall not kill is a commandment and it's against the law to kill people." I get that, but if you need the church to inform you that killing is wrong you might be a psychopath.

My goodness, I had no idea that my blog would become such a Mecca for Mormons. (And yes, I know that Mormonism has nothing to do with Islam. Mormons are indeed Christians.)

In any case, here are three Mormon-related factoids:

1. The Osmonds were discovered by Andy Williams' father Jay while the Osmond Brothers quartet (which included neither Donny nor, of course, Marie) were singing at Disneyland in 1962. Another reason to love Andy Williams whom I always preferred over Perry Como. (Don't ask why I always pitted those two against each other.)

2. The Marriott Corporation, which began as a root beer stand in Washington, D.C. run by Mormon and visionary entrepreneur J. Willard Marriott, owns the Ritz-Carlton hotel chain. I love Ritz-Carlton Hotels and am glad they've retained a distinct identity, though I also enjoy the regular Marriott hotels. I stayed at the Miami Airport Marriott during this last Super Bowl. Here's Kay Anne, the housekeeper from the floor I stayed on:



Kay Anne was super nice. I got lots of free stuff at the Super Bowl. I gave her all my Bratz swag, which represented far more than 10% of my take.

3. Salt Lake City is so clean you could eat off the pavement around Temple Square. My favorite tourist attraction is the Beehive House, the home of Brigham Young, built in 1854. There's a beehive motif (symbolizing industriousness) throughout the home. I particularly liked the newels (knobs) shaped like beehives festooning the banister. My biggest complaint is that they only had caffeine free Coke in the cafeteria next door.

Apparently 37% of Americans refuse to vote for a Mormon. (Presidential candidate Mitt Romney shares the faith of the Osmond and Marriott families.) Other polls purport to show voters' resistance to a black presidential candidate and a woman commander-in-chief. Polls asking for whom an American will vote are obviously a thing of the past.