The Times Online describes what may be the low point in television history: a British reality TV star, Jade Goody, is told by her doctor that she has cervical cancer - on the show, which is broadcasting today in India. The show, Bigg Boss, is the Indian version of Big Brother.

She quit she show after the revelation to be with her children. Apparently, she gave permission for the footage of her getting her diagnosis to air, but it still seems pretty grotesque, doesn't it? We're not talking about a Lifetime movie. Here's a real woman, a mother, learning that she's very sick. Who wants to watch that?

[We have a winner(s) for our Miss South Carolina Word Scramble Contest.]

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Eating bugs on Fear Factor. Cheating spouses on Temptation Island. Women whoring themselves on "Who Wants to Marry A Multimillionaire?" All seem quaint now. (Remember Rick Rockwell and Darva Conger? The Ozzie and Harriett of Reality TV.)

Reality TV has discovered a new nadir with Kid Nation, the CBS fall entry in which 40 kids aged 8-15 are left to fend for themselves in a New Mexico ghost town.

But believe it or not, it's about to get worse...

Everyone is freaking out (and by everyone I mean the New York Post, ABC News, and every news source in between) about this new CBS show, Kid Nation, in which forty kids age 8-15 are sent to a faux ghost town in New Mexico and charged with setting up a new society. It's been made to sound like Survivor, Junior Edition, or Lord of the Flies, the reality show.

Pundits keep tsk-tsking about the "do whatever you want with 'em" contract the parents signed, or spreading rumors that kids got some minor injuries. They cite the footage that shows the kids having a less-than-great time: They cry! They get stressed out! They have to do manual labor!

Wah, wah, wah.

My dad calls a lot of people crazy. If you ask him, 90% of the world is stark raving mad. At times, he seems to have a point. This is one of those times. There is some chance that Paula Abdul is bonkers. Of course, there's also a chance that she's on more drugs than Whitney Houston during the Bobby Brown years.

Paula, remember what Whitney said, "Crack is whack!"

By the way, who isn't absolutely nauseated by these assistants? What kind of a pathetic person wants these suck-ups around? Celebrities are sick people. They really need help. At this point, I actually feel bad for them.

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The seasons finale of the Simpsons aired on Sunday and the subject focused around the Fox Network. Lisa asks: "How can Fox News be so conservative when the Fox Network keeps airing raunchy shows? They don't fit together."

Watch the clip..

Kent is fired up, and he spreads his message on youtube....

Over the course of a single season an AI contestant's looks can improve markedly. We see this in the video obit played at the end of a loser's "journey". The contestant looks pale and zitty at their first local audition, when they walk into the small conference room at the Birmingham, Alabama Ramada Inn, lit poorly by fluorescent lights from above. By the time the obit plays to the strains of "I'm Goin' Home," the contestant has a healthy Peach Pit glow.

But the more startling changes happen season-to-season. We all remember Clay Aiken emerging from behind at last year's finale, looking like k.d. lang, to greet his desperate doppelganger, Michael Sandecki (aka Clay Faiken), while both sang "Don't Let The Sun Shine Down On Me." Sandecki became crazed. I wasn't sure if he was going to kiss Clay - or try to stab him. It was a terrifying "Single White Idol" moment. Luckily the robotic Ryan efficiently straitjacketed Sandecki and Clay was safe. (While being carted off afterward, Sandecki was heard pining, "I've always depended on the kindness of Seacrest.")

But Clay's transformation has been eclipsed by two others this year: Kellie Pickler's astonishing new jugs. And Elliott Yamin's new teeth, aka The White Cliffs of Dover.

So...

I already feel guilty about LaKisha.



I knew that LaKisha was raw, unpolished in the best way. But until tonight I hadn't focused on her deep soulfulness - a quality none of the remaining three has. In the video package about her childhood, she wasn't just cute. She wasn't just touching. She wasn't just funny. She was all those things. She spoke about her mother and her grandmother and her "nappy fro" and how she was disciplined for talking too much as a child.

Then, as the death sentence was read, came her video obit. The dissolve transition from her initial audition of "I'm Telling You I'm Not Going" to her later performance of that same song was beautifully done. But it was her blunt admission that "other people have more confidence in Kisha than I have" that struck me. It was honest, almost wounded, but not in the least way pathetic.

Here's a clip from The Absolute Truth where Cenk and I react to these shocking photos of yet ANOTHER disgraced ex-reality star.

As much as I like Sanjaya, I'm willing to entertain the possibility that he's survived to this point in the competition by fraudulent means. Among the theories being floated: secret Indian call centers with Sanjanistas feverishly dialing ... when they should be dealing with American credit card complaints.

Watch my investigation below.

Sanjaya's story gets better. The guy could have decided to remain mediocre (or worse) and ride the VFTW and Howard Stern wave, which should have surely gotten him through a few more episodes. Likewise he could have gone freakier with the hair. (I was convinced that he'd come out in full Shakira mode for tonight's Latin show.)

Instead he faked us all out ... and turned in the best performance of the night.

Yes, the best. Maybe not technically. But he totally connected with the camera, like an old pro. He didn't stare into the camera like a zombie. Completely relaxed, he sang to people at home and managed to sell an intimate song intimately. Remember, this is a 17 year old guy who's been raked over the coals and mocked 24/7 for the last month!

I'll give JLo some credit. She seemed to sincerely believe in him. Until this point I was ready to blame her for the blandness of the other performances.

I think Phil is going tomorrow. The judges came down too hard on Haley and that may provoke a backlash on her behalf. Phil was boring and pulled out the "I have a cute baby" card. That's annoying.

I love AM New York. It's one of the two free newspapers being given out to commuters here in New York, to try to stem the tide of young readers abandoning actual print for the web. I read it on the subway and it does the job keeping me informed.

Anyway I love any paper that mentions me - even when it trashes me. I'm a masochist! Well today's paper has a long article about cable TV countdown shows. I love when reporters review these shows. Shouldn't they be reviewing The Sopranos? (The New Yorker actually "reviewed" Vh1's I Love the '70s a few years back. Former editors William Shawn and E.B. were spinning in their graves.) Even reviewing reruns of The Gastineau Girls would seem more worthwhile.

The writer Diane Werts seems kind of fixated with me. She essentially says she can't stand me. But I think she's ambivalent. (She doth protest too much.) In any case she looks like a sweet lady in her picture. (I bet she'd love my CLOM piece.) Do you think she actually likes me?

I didn't have time to read her whole piece. (It's an epic!) But she did put a lot of work into it - and I respect that.

I am bereft. I am in Columbia, SC's airport. (Consolation: Free internet access!) But I was unable to watch Idol last night. I've had to make do with YouTube clips. Is this how the kids watch Idol?

Thank goodness Sanjaya's performance of "Cheek to Cheek" was posted. Once again Sanjaya was shrewd - brilliant! - in selecting his song. "Heaven, I'm in Heaven," the song begins. We don't know if Sanjaya is a practicing Hindu. But it should be noted that heaven is not a focal point in Hinduism - just a temporary state known as swarga loka - in the reincarnation cycle. (Ooh, I do love the idea of a reincarnated Sanjaya coming back to perform in American Idol season 112 - getting sneered at by Simon's wickedly mean great-granddaughter. Of course by that point the show will be broadcast from Bangalore and the dark horse contestant will be an immigrant from Alabama.) In any case, Sanjaya's homage to "Heaven" was a calculated reassurance to Christian voters that he respects their theology.

On a less spiritual plane, it's worth remembering that the magnificent and notoriously grumpy Irving Berlin (composer of "Cheek to Cheek" for the 1935 movie musical "Top Hat") called Fred Astaire, who originally sang the song, his favorite singer. Astaire was not a singer. Like Sanjaya he had a thin, quavering voice. But he felt the lyrics. He had heart. And heart is Sanjaya's selling point.

(Photos: Fox/AP)

Forget about Sanjaya. The real sensation in the Malakar family is Shyamali! Look, I'm a bad man, but it's not just her singing voice that has me interested in Shyamali. If you watch the video below, you will see what I'm talking about.



For another great look at her, check out this picture of her in a Hooters outfit (and is she wearing anything in that picture with the guitar?). So wrong, so right!

I now have her at #7 hottest woman on the planet. What do you think -- is it okay to be turned on by Sanjaya's sister?

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Do you hear that creaking sound? I do. It's more like a low rumbling. It's the sound of an Empire collapsing.


60 years after Mohandas Gandhi's civil disobedience movement led to the end of British rule in India, the gentle Sanjaya is just as peacefully (if less than tunefully) bringing Viceroy Simon to heel.

American Idol is an institution built on an ideal: the most talented singer wins. In the end, all it has is its credibility. That's been crippled now, perhaps beyond all repair. And once the tipping point is reached (one week from now? Two?), HMS Idol will sink fast.

I've written extensively about the stunning parallels between Gandhi and Sanjaya. (Of course their hair is a contrast, though Sanjaya has at least one more week to debut a chrome dome. This I would not advise. Sanjaya's eyes are too closely set to pull off a bald look.)